


The Element of Change

by quarantineddreamer



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Book 2: Earth, Canon Rewrite, F/M, Gaang (Avatar), Slow Burn, Spirits, Zutara, aka redemption arcs we deserved, first attempt at a longer fanfic, wish me luck guys, with some guest appearances that may surprise you
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-08
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:40:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 105,709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25788991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quarantineddreamer/pseuds/quarantineddreamer
Summary: When Katara, Aang, and Sokka leave the Earth Kingdom Military Base they stumble upon a desperate Iroh who is watching Zuko fight for his life. What follows is a canon-divergent adventure...
Relationships: Katara & Zuko (Avatar), Katara/Zuko (Avatar), The Gaang & Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 338
Kudos: 572





	1. Chapter 1

_Home._ Zuko couldn’t believe that the time had finally come. He hadn’t allowed himself to believe it was possible -not even when he had first spotted the Avatar- lest he get too hopeful. Hope was a distraction he had not felt he could afford. Yet Azula had found them, come all this way to tell him and Uncle that his father had had a change of heart, he regretted banishing him, and he _needed_ him now. Here was a way for Zuko redeem himself in the Fire Lord’s eyes from within the borders of the nation he had longed to see for 3 agonizing years… _Home._

“Brother, Uncle,” Azula called from the ship as they approached. “I’m so glad you decided to come.” 

Zuko bowed respectfully, wondering what he might learn of his sister on the journey home. After so much time apart she certainly looked older than when he had last seen her -though her tone held that similar condescending note to it that he recognized from their younger years. 

“Are we ready to depart your highness?” the Captain asked.

Azula smiled and Zuko tried to decide if she was genuinely happy he was being permitted to return or if she was simply playing the role of dutiful daughter. He never was able to read her very well. “Set our course for home, Captain.”

There was that word again. That faint dream becoming more and more substantial with each passing moment. “Home,” Zuko murmured reverently and began walking up the gangway. 

“You heard the Princess! Raise the anchors! We’re taking the prisoners home!” 

_Did he say…?_ She really was a brilliant actor -maybe she got that from their mother- but not even Azula could recover her careful expression when the captain let the secret slip and as her eyes narrowed Zuko felt all the hope he had been carefully storing vanish like smoke through fingertips. It surprised him how easily it escaped him, perhaps some part of him had already known it was too good to be true. _Azula always lies…_

The Captain’s attempt to apologize came too late, “Your Highness, I…” Zuko did not envy the punishment he was certain his sister would deal to the man later. In the meantime, he grabbed ahold of the man’s armor and, empowered by his rising anger, tossed him into the sea with a simple pull -as easily as though he were opening a curtain. Behind him he could hear the _whoosh_ as Uncle shot jets of flame at Fire Nation soldiers attempting to encircle them. 

“You lied to me!” Zuko shouted. _Of course she did…_

“Like I’ve never done that before,” Azula smirked, turning her back and giving a small wave. 

Maybe he was angrier at himself than at her. For letting down his guard. He hated nothing more than being made a fool -he had already experienced enough humiliation to last him this lifetime _and_ the next. Yet apparently he had been wrong in assuming he had no further to sink, since here he was about to be taken prisoner by his _younger_ sister. 

With a roar he leapt to the deck of the ship, knocking two soldiers down with well-aimed blasts of fire from his foot and hand. Azula slowly turned, none-too-concerned by his appearance and decidedly not intimidated by the fury written on his face. 

“Zuko!” he heard Uncle call. “Let’s go!” 

But it was too late. Her smug expression combined with his wounded pride had Zuko’s head spinning and soon his body joined it as he furiously flung attack after attack at his sibling who carefully evaded each one before turning his reckless motion against him and shoving him away. 

“You know,” she crooned, eyes gleaming. “Father blames Uncle for the loss at the North Pole -and he considers you a miserable failure for not finding the Avatar! Why would he want you back home? Except to lock you up where you can no longer embarrass him.”

Zuko’s blood boiled at her words and his breath came in short bursts. Uncle always said that breath was important to remember in good fire-bending, but he wasted no time in calming himself. He feared what would happen if he stopped moving and started thinking, registering Azula’s cruel words on a deeper level. If he let them touch him he sensed it would undo all the careful work he had already started of reconstructing the narrative that all would one day be well… That if only he could capture the Avatar he might yet put all the pieces of his life back into place… 

He clenched his fists, small dagger-like flames erupting on each hand from within his curled fingers, and lunged at Azula, kicking fire as he went and swiping at her with the bend-created weapons. His sister blocked and dodged each move with the precision of a machine built for the sole purpose of combat. She caught his wrist with her own and swiftly circled her arm so that her hand lay against his forearm. In the momentary pause his eyes met hers, and he knew then, she would not hesitate to do whatever was necessary to subdue him.

Azula released her hold on Zuko’s arm and he allowed gravity to pull him back down the ramp. As he tumbled he caught sight of the brilliant, blue streak that cut through the air where his head had been a moment before. He wasn’t sure if it was the heat of his anger he felt on his cheeks or the intensity of his sister’s attack in the air around him. When he hit the deck his lungs were emptied instantly from the shock of the impact. His heart pounded furiously in his chest as he struggled to rise, looking up to catch Azula’s cold, determined stare, remembering the last time a similar set of eyes had been gazing down at him like that and the pain that had followed. 

His sister’s arms traced arches in the air that were soon emphasized by crackling lightning. _She wouldn’t…_ but his eyes widened as he recognized the intention behind her movements -a stiff hand drawn towards the center of the chest, her head bowed, a knee bent in preparation for an abrupt rush forward…

It reached for him like the arm of a menacing spirit and it cut through the air with the unnatural speed of one too. Its voice was a heartless, electric buzz that Zuko could not understand. He tried to roll away from it, as he had rolled away from so many of her attacks before when they had trained together, but for all of Azula’s lies, her aim was always true. 

The bolt caught him just shy of his heart and set his entire body alight with pain -pain that jumped through his muscles and across his skin. A scream clawed its way out of his throat, but he was already slipping away and the sound to him seemed very far away, a stranger’s voice. 

By the time Iroh reached him he was already unconscious, unaware of how his Uncle frantically lifted him from the ground and ran, fast as he could, away from their enemies.

***

Katara sighed contentedly as she lazily bent water from the clouds around them into a small ball, releasing it carefully away from Appa and watching it fall, gracefully, to the earth below them. Amused, a smile gently appeared on her face. It felt good to be in the air again after the chaos of the previous day dealing with General Fong at the Earth Kingdom Military base. 

“How long do you think it will take us to reach Omashu?” she asked, turning to her brother who was midchew on a bite of jerky. 

Sokka’s words were muffled by the tough meat still in his mouth, “A few days, I think.”

“I’m excited to see Bumi again!” Aang chirped, glancing back at them from his position atop Appa’s large head. 

Katara wasn’t so sure she felt the same given the tricks the earth bender had pulled last time their paths had crossed, but made no comment, knowing that the goofy, old man was likely the only remaining friend from Aang’s old life. “It’ll be good for you to learn earth bending -once you master that we just have to find you a fire bending instructor.”

“You make it sound so easy,” Sokka observed. 

Katara shrugged. “I know if anyone can do it Aang can.” She was rewarded with a grin from the air bender. When a moment later that same joyous expression turned to one of intense concern she asked, “Aang, what is it?” 

“Do you see those people down there? I think I hear one calling for help...” The orange of his clothing rippled in the wind as he lifted a hand to point. 

Katara followed the line from the tip of his finger, squinting. Along the banks of the river they flew over she could just make out the pale shapes of two figures’ heads, but couldn’t hear any voices over the rush of wind in her ears. “I don’t know, Aang…”

But the Avatar was already steering Appa down towards the sliver of blue cutting through the forested landscape and as they drew closer she thought she could make out sounds of distress that she had missed before. Trust Aang to be so attuned to signals from those in need… Then she recognized one of the people, though his face, crumpled as it was, may as well have been a mask. 

“That’s... “ Sokka looked alarmed. “Appa, yip yip -no, Aang we can’t help _them._ ”

Katara was inclined to agree, though something _was_ clearly wrong. Iroh was kneeling beside Zuko’s still form, his body shaking with emotion, cheeks glimmering with the wetness of tears.

He had spotted them and was calling desperately, choking on sobs, “Please, please, help.” Katara wanted to tell Aang to turn away, but creeping through all the memories of the trouble Zuko and Iroh had caused them was the image of Iroh arguing with Zhao at the spirit oasis and even harder to deny was the increasing visibility they had on Zuko’s impossibly pale skin, his shallow breathing. For the first time, absent of anger, she could see the fire bender’s face for what it was, the face of someone young like them. If she hadn’t met him before she would have said it was an innocent face… If she hadn’t met him before she would not be hesitating to rush to their aid. 

Appa landed a few feet away from the Fire Nation duo and the three hopped from his soft back. Aang immediately walked closer. Sokka and Katara, exchanged a glance, and followed, more cautiously. 

“What happened?” Aang knelt beside Iroh. Katara’s heart gave a pang at the ease with which he displayed such kindness, gentleness, to those who were their enemy. She felt guilty for not sharing the same lack of suspicion.

“It was the princess -his sister, Azula,” Iroh replied softly, hiccuping as he tried to control his voice after what had clearly been a great deal of crying. “She can bend lightning… She struck him. And I thought my brother could not get any crueler...after all Prince Zuko has been through... “ The old man’s hands trembled as he searched for something to do to help his beloved nephew, but it was clear he was powerless, and instead the hand settled at the top of the boy’s head.

Aang looked like he might cry himself out of sympathy, his eyes glimmered as he glanced at Katara, an unspoken exchange. He wanted her to try and help… and how could she refuse, not just because the Avatar was asking, but because in her heart she knew she would not turn her back on anyone in need -even the Fire Nation prince who had been chasing them across the world. 

She indicated for Aang to make space and knelt beside Iroh, reaching for water from the stream and bending it around her hands until it glowed. Iroh’s eyes widened at the sight, his face as calm as it had been since they first arrived. “A healer,” he whispered reverently, staring at her. 

Katara did not respond, she was too concentrated on scanning Zuko’s body for injury. She peeled back his shirt to see a star shaped mark on his chest, close to his heart, and tried to carefully control her expression when she realized the extent of the harm the lightning had done. _He’s still breathing, he’s not gone yet,_ she told herself, but the prognosis was decidedly not good, it would not be long now. She poured all her energy into trying to right the wrongs the electricity had done to the poor boy -to no avail, her usual healing was not enough. 

“Katara?” Aang stared at her questioningly, calling softly. 

She shook her head. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered. Moved by the devastation on Iroh’s face, she looked away, surprised to be blinking back tears, and shifted the water she had gathered back into the river. 

If only there was more she could do… It was strange to see her enemy in this state. It emptied her almost entirely of the hate she had held for him. Had Iroh said it had been his _sister_ who had done this? How could that be? Her eyes passed over the scar on the left side of his face with new curiosity...the shape of it… Katara felt her stomach twist and looked away.

He had been a formidable opponent. Katara recalled the ferocity of his attacks when they had clashed at the spirit oasis, part of her had wanted yet another rematch… _The spirit oasis!_ She reached suddenly for the flask she kept carefully stored by her chest. Iroh opened eyes he had squeezed shut in pain to watch her. He appeared torn between hope and trying to steel himself for the worst. 

Katara took sympathy on the man. “You were there, at the spirit oasis, I remember you arguing to save them from Zhao -and afterwards you… You knew what Yue needed to do. So, I know you understand how important this medicine is.” She dangled the flask in front of them. Aang was nodding seriously, a signal of agreement, _this is the right thing to do._ “Spirit water,” she told Iroh, and then, in a quieter tone, maybe more to the injured Zuko than to anyone else she added, “it may just work…”

The water bender took a deep breath and pressed her thumb to the decorative moon cap of the flask. The difference in the power of this water was instantly perceivable to Katara. It was almost...exhilarating to bend. Was this how Aang felt bending an element other than the one he was born to?

She dismissed the thoughts and turned her attention to the scarred-face, waiting to see if life would return to it under her careful ministration. 

***

_Zuko had not been to Ember Island in years, and he marveled at the warmth of the sand against the pads of his feet as he walked along the shoreline, admired the pattern the never-ending waves made as they rippled in sunlight. He felt remarkably at peace, but something nagged at the back of his mind -was he forgetting something?_

_He closed his eyes and tilted his head to the light of the sun, inhaling the smell of salty air and heat. Whatever else needed to get done he sensed it could wait, he did not want to leave. For the first time in recent memory his limbs did not ache from the rigors of intense training. He waded into the water and the cool touch of it against his legs was so refreshing he released an audible sigh -surprising himself._

_Then the wave appeared on the horizon, impossible to deny, huge in contrast to the waves gently bumping against him now. It was several feet taller than him and..._ What an odd color, it almost looks like it’s glowing? _He turned to run before the wave could catch him, but his feet were suddenly cemented into the sand. He pulled desperately,_ I’m not ready, I don’t want to go back _, but it was no use. The brilliant, luminescent wave rushed towards him, and he braced for its impact…_

Zuko opened his eyes, and all he saw was blue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you made it this far THANK YOU for reading, I hope you enjoyed! This idea came to me the other day and while a long-form fanfic is very intimidating, I had to at least get the first chapter out there to see if there's any interest in the story. Let me know what you think! I have more plotted out, but want to know if people genuinely want to keep reading before I pull time away from some original content I'm also working on :) (And if you're an Azula redemption fan... I'm sorry this is not that story).
> 
> EDIT: Thank you so much for those of you who commented and/or gave Kudos! I think there's enough interest that I will continue to write :') I hope you'll continue to enjoy! I've sort of realized the biggest challenge about this timeline is, uh, rewriting one of the greatest redemption arcs of all time (wut). Fingers crossed.
> 
> EDIT 2/23/21: I commissioned the lovely [conflictedmind](https://conflictedmind.tumblr.com/post/643861086711447552/hey-yall-here-is-a-commission-for-the-lovely) to bring to life a scene from this chapter and I could not be more excited about it! 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for everyone who commented and/or left kudos on the first chapter! It gave me encouragement to write this next one... I'm going to aim for an update every week on this fic -probably on Saturdays, but I wanted to post early this week (since I am gone surfing this weekend and) as a thank you to those who express interest in this idea <3 
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar the Last Airbender or any of the characters featured in this work. Some of the content below is pulled directly from the show.

Katara watched in wonder as Zuko’s face tightened in pain. That couldn’t be helped -being brought back from near-death following a strike of lightning to the chest was bound to be an unpleasant experience. She leaned closer to check his breathing and was surprised when his eyes suddenly flew open, twin, golden flames instantly locked onto her and for a moment she froze, captivated. The last time she had been this close to him he had been holding her wrists, sneering ‘ _ I’ll save you from the pirates’,  _ and it had been her eyes full of bewilderment. He had done the opposite of saving her, of course, but,  _ how strangely the world works,  _ she thought.  _ I just saved  _ him _...  _

“Wha-where-” He attempted to sit up, but Katara gently pushed him back down.

“You, uh, you were injured we-” She was unable to finish her explanation as Iroh knocked her aside in his eagerness to embrace his nephew.

“Zuko! You’re okay, you’re alive, oh thank, Agni.” He was crying again, but this time in relief. 

“Uncle, please…” Zuko’s voice was hoarse and he winced, awkwardly untangling himself from Iroh’s hug. To Katara, he seemed decidedly unaccustomed to physical displays of affection. He noticed her staring and scowled. “What’s the Avatar’s girl doing here?”

“I don’t  _ belong  _ to the Avatar,” Katara scoffed, crossing her arms even as Aang blushed furiously and Sokka gave a short chuckle.

“Th-they’re… Uncle -agh!” Zuko tried to stand. When he gasped in pain and nearly collapsed again it was Sokka who steadied him. An extreme look of confusion returned to the prince’s face as he wobbled away from the other boy clutching at his chest. 

Katara, despite herself, found the disorientation incredibly amusing, but she took pity on him. “Sit down before you hurt yourself,” she instructed. He hesitated for a moment before sitting beside his uncle -who was wiping tears from his face and slowly collecting himself. 

“You were seriously hurt,” Aang explained. “I heard your uncle calling for help and we came to see what was wrong.”

“Katara saved your life,” Sokka added pointedly.

She observed the puzzlement clearing from Zuko’s face, replaced by a deep frown and sadness in his eyes that she could not even pretend to understand.  _ His own sister?  _ Her eyes passed over the open fold of Zuko’s shirt, examining her handiwork. Not even the spirit water could remove the star shaped mark on his chest. It had been enough effort just keeping him from death. Another permanent feature Zuko would bear. Indications of a complicated and difficult past. A twinge of sympathy passed through Katara, but sympathetic or not, she was mindful of the river flowing behind the fire bender. What would his next move be?

It was not any of the things she might have expected. He seemed resigned as he sighed, then glanced at her briefly, almost  _ shyly? _ As though he were ashamed to have their eyes meet. “Thank you,” he murmured in a low tone. 

Katara didn’t know how to respond, so she shrugged and nodded in acknowledgement. 

“Yes, thank you,” Iroh repeated, head bowed low. “I owe you a debt that is impossible to repay.”

“What will you do now?” Sokka’s eyes were jumping from Iroh to Zuko and back again, a hand resting on his boomerang. 

The old man shook his head. “We are wanted men. We will have to run and hide to escape the Fire Nation.”   
“Yeah, we have no idea what that’s like,” Katara remarked, rolling her eyes when Zuko’s eyes shot to her again. He didn’t appear regretful, but did seem to recognize the awkwardness of their situation. That wasn’t quite enough for her... In their compromised condition if she were to launch into a full rant Iroh and Zuko would have no choice but to listen to a long list of the crimes of their nation. Of course, her hair would be as grey as Iroh’s by the time she finished, so she settled for a withering stare from which the prince quickly turned away.  _ That’s right, I helped you, but our score is  _ not  _ settled…  _ She wanted to make sure that was perfectly clear.

"Why don’t you come with us? We’re headed to Omashu.” 

Katara and Sokka spun to Aang in alarm, mouths gaping.  _ Talk about mixed signals...Does he know this is the same person who hunted us for months?  _ Katara tried to see what Aang’s soft grey eyes saw, but now that Zuko was awake, apart from his defeated posture, it was difficult not to recognize who he was and remember what he had represented to their group for so long. 

To his credit Zuko also appeared to be surprised by Aang’s offer, he was rubbing his recently healed wound and scanning their surroundings as though calculating his next move, his escape. 

“That is a kind offer, Avatar, but may I ask why you would make such a suggestion?” Iroh watched the monk carefully as he waited for a response.

“Yeah, Aang,  _ why? _ ” Sokka echoed, and Katara elbowed him sharply, though she was asking the same question herself, just... _ internally, so our enemies can’t hear. _

Aang was smiling. “Maybe the debt to repay isn’t as great as you know it to be, and besides, I could use a firebending instructor.” 

Iroh did not seem to know the greater meaning behind Aang’s words anymore than Katara did, though she noticed Zuko staring at Aang.  _ The debt isn’t as great as you know it to be?  _ She wondered if Aang had hit his head at some point back at the Earth Kingdom Military Base and fought the urge to examine it for bruising. 

Iroh turned to Zuko and placed his hand on the boy’s shoulder. He seemed so young to Katara, when he stared up at his uncle’s face, searching for guidance. “Zuko, you will go with them.”

“Are you crazy?!” he exclaimed, waving his arms, and abruptly hissing in pain. Katara was certain that she recognized a note of fear in his tone.

The old man knelt beside his nephew so that they were face to face. “Zuko,” he said, solemnly, “Your sister will be after us. You nearly…” He swallowed at the memory. “She nearly killed you… I can’t lose you. You will disguise yourself and go with the Avatar. I will try to throw them off your trail.” He smiled softly, “Let them teach you that there is still good in this world, and correct your view of things. Become the man your nation will need when balance is restored…” The old man sighed heavily, wrinkles about his mouth deepening as he frowned. “I am sorry, Prince Zuko, for not pulling you from your dangerous path sooner and saving you as much pain as I could…”

Zuko was silent, but his eyes shone brightly with unshed tears and the knowledge of what Iroh was risking for him. Katara found herself unable to tear her gaze away from the humanity of her enemy, it reminded her of the day she had said goodbye to her father. “There has to be another way…” Zuko said quietly.

Katara was in agreement with him on that point. Wasn’t there anything else to do other than adopting the banished Fire Nation prince into their group? Would that not paint a larger target on their backs? Aang was ready to welcome him, just like that, but she kept reminding herself  _ who  _ they were talking about...

Iroh was reaching for a dagger and offering it to his distraught nephew. He pointed at Zuko’s ponytail. “We don’t have much time, quickly now, let’s transform you so that wandering eyes do not immediately recognize you.”

It was surprising how quickly Zuko accepted the blade and how swiftly he cut the length of hair from his scalp so that only a small, square patch remained. Katara once again found herself watching her adversary in the midst of an intimate moment. She knew that aside from Aang, born to the air nomads, many men wore their hair long for a reason. It represented different things to different cultures, but she knew in her own water tribe it signaled status, pride. Here was Zuko, being forced to discard it all, because of his own family... 

As Zuko ran a hand over the remaining patch of hair he seemed unsettled. When Aang handed him the razor he shaved his own head with, Zuko accepted it with silent, genuine gratitude and a bowed head. Iroh assisted him, using the tool to remove the last bit of fuzz from his head, till the prince was just as bald as the Avatar. 

On Aang it was a peaceful look, but Katara thought that on Zuko a naked head emphasized a certain fierceness in him, a rawness. She refused to let it intimidate her, though a small part of her couldn’t help but admire the rigid set of his jaw, the steady determination with which he accepted the state of things. 

“There’s no helping the scar,” Zuko told them, challenging each one of them with a hard stare, as though begging for them to say something, anything, to give him an excuse to fight. 

_ Maybe he’s looking for a reason not to do this just as much as I am…  _ Katara mused, but she knew that ultimately she would go along with whatever Aang felt was best, because she trusted his instincts and inclinations as the Avatar. She glanced at the monk, but he did not look like someone about to change their mind. 

“The scar will be fine, you can find something to shield your face,” Iroh said gently. “Now, it’s time to go.” He looked to where Sokka, Katara, and Aang stood, but his stare was fixated on Katara especially. “Thank you again.”

Aang bobbed his head respectfully in response, but Sokka began to walk back towards Appa and Katara decided to follow.  _ This is all too confusing and strange... _

She couldn’t help glancing back, just once, to see Zuko and Iroh embrace. Iroh’s words drifted over the sound of the river to her. “After I lost your cousin I traveled the world searching for answers… The greatest wisdom I ever received was from a wandering stranger, he said, ‘When we hit our lowest point, we are open to the greatest change.’ Do not be afraid of change, Prince Zuko, it is as much a part of life as breathing, and just as necessary in order to heal.’ I think, when we see each other again, you will have transformed into the beautiful prince you were always meant to be.” 

***

It was weird to have the air fall across his face without also catching at his hair. Maybe not as weird as flying atop the Avatar’s sky bison... Maybe not as weird as sitting across from the Avatar’s friends, one of whom had saved his life, but was glaring at him as though she was deciding whether or not she should reverse that action. Zuko squirmed beneath the intensity of her blue-eyes which had not eased even slightly in the hours since they had separated from Uncle.

Those eyes… They had not looked nearly so scary when they were the first thing he saw as he woke. Then they had actually been comforting, as though he were being greeted by the wild beauty of the ocean. Clearly her temperament, as the ocean’s, was quick to change. The healer was gone, and a fighter remained, treating him with the suspicion he knew he deserved.

“So…” The water tribe boy cleared his throat. “Uh, I’m Sokka.” He patted the sky bison’s fluffy side, “this is Appa.” A wide-eyed flying lemur blinked, peeking out from his perch crouched on Sokka’s shoulder. “And this is Momo.” 

Zuko stared. He had not encountered an animal with a name since he had been a child, pointing out his favorite turtle ducks to his mother. And here was the Avatar’s gang with a zoo of pets, introduced like important members, as though they frequently offered valuable strategic advice. It didn’t bother Zuko, he was just unsure how to respond. 

Sokka pointed to the girl beside him, the one to whom Zuko owed his life, “this is Katara. And, uh, do you know Avatar is not his name, right? He’s Aang.”

_ Okay… be normal, be cool…Hi, hello...  _ “I’m Zuko.”

“We know,” Katara said sharply. 

“It’s nice to...meet you.”  _ This is  _ so  _ weird…  _

“Uh, huh, sure,” Sokka nodded, clearly uncomfortable. 

Katara, however, leaned forward intently till her face was right in front of Zuko’s and said -quietly enough that no one else could hear, “We all know you’ve struggled in the past. So let me tell you something right now… You make one step backward, one slip up, give me one reason to think you might hurt Aang, or Sokka, or Appa, or Momo -and I will make sure that, for all my efforts to continue it, your destiny ends right then and there. Permanently.”

“Message received,” Zuko muttered as Katara withdrew. It took a moment for his heart to slow its hammering -an agonizing moment, as Katara’s healing had saved his life, but his chest still ached with the memory of the lightning’s impact. He didn’t blame her. He still wasn’t entirely sure what he was doing here either.

The lemur, -Momo, the water tribe boy had called him- crawled over to Zuko and ran his little hands across his newly shaven head in curiosity. Zuko thought he felt the small creature’s head swiveling from himself to the Avatar, his fuzzy ears brushing his skin as he did so. 

“Momo, he’s not like Aang, be careful,” Katara called, and the lemur leapt into the air and glided on winged arms to land on the Avatar’s shoulder and repeat the same routine he had done a moment before. His glowing green eyes unnerved Zuko, though he couldn’t place why exactly. 

Zuko wanted to ask how long they would fly for. He was unsure when he had last eaten, but his stomach was reminding him that a return to life also meant a return to the necessities of maintaining life. The problem was he was afraid to speak unless spoken to. What had Uncle been thinking? The water tribe siblings clearly did not want him here, though Aang had obviously taken Zuko’s actions as the Blue Spirit to heart -his relaxed manner astounded Zuko. If only he could tell them how well and truly done with the Fire Nation he was… There was no mending a family that tried to have you killed…Was there? Zuko felt moisture running down his neck as he broke into a cold sweat. 

“I’m starved, let’s stop for lunch.” Sokka was already digging through a large sack searching for food. 

His sister nodded in agreement. “Okay, but we should make the most of that time -Aang, let’s get in a little waterbending practice too.” 

The monk wordlessly guided his sky bison down into the canyon they passed over and onto the river that had carved away at the white rock patiently, to create the dramatic geographical feature. Zuko could not help but think of what his uncle might say about such a sight… He always had some poetic words for any situation -perhaps, most especially, any situation involving tea. 

_ When we hit our lowest point, we are open to the greatest change,  _ Uncle had said. Zuko had his doubts about his ability to accomplish everything the old man wished for him. He was too accustomed to disappointing family members… Amidst the emptiness of his stomach a pit of dread settled, somewhat ruining the appetite he had been building. He hoped he would not take as long as the canyon to adapt to his new circumstances.

It was incredible to Zuko how quickly the trio moved the moment Appa landed on the surface of the water, floating, like an unbelievably large and furry log. The Avatar’s youthful spirit was in full display as he shed the top layer of his outfit and plunged dramatically and enthusiastically into the river with a loud exclamation of glee. Sokka hopped down as well, but somewhat more carefully, sack of food hoisted above his head -Momo balanced atop that- to keep it away from the water. He waded to the shore and set about preparing his meal. Zuko looked away as Katara stripped to her undergarments, not wanting to seem like he was watching, but unsure where to settle himself, seeking guidance in the habits of the others to no use. 

When the water bender joined Aang in the river it was the most relaxed he had ever seen her, he was transfixed for a moment, watching her bend the element, almost playfully, a smile lighting her pretty face. Zuko’s observation was interrupted by a loud groan from the sky bison that made him jump in alarm. He quickly slid down the creature’s back and walked to the shore, sitting a careful distance from Sokka so as not to disturb him. He was extremely grateful when the other boy tossed him a bundle of food with a wordless shrug. 

The tied cloth mainly contained water tribe food. Preserved meats that despite their dehydrated state had a strong fishy odor very different from the hot, spicy smells Zuko was familiar with. Still, instinct won out, Zuko was consuming the lunch with relative enthusiasm when the sound of an instrument being strummed reached his ears. All heads in the makeshift camp turned towards the forest, from which a ragtag crew was emerging. 

***

“Don’t fall in love with a traveling girl -she’ll leave you broke and-broken-hearted.” The man was a decent singer and skilled instrumentalist -Katara felt the song instantly get stuck in her head the moment the strangers ceased their singing and dancing. “Hey, hey, river people!” the man pointed.

Katara studied the eclectic group with their colorful clothing and relaxed attitude. They seemed harmless so she decided to engage. “We’re not river people.”

“You’re not?” The one in the funky, red hat who had been singing squinted in confusion. “Well, then what kind of people are you?” 

Aang shrugged. “Just people.”

“Aren’t we all brother? Hoo!” There was a friendliness to the group that Katara found somewhat surprising, as though they had wandered out of an alternate world where the troubles of war did not exist. 

Sokka was marching towards them, less inclined to release his suspicion. “Who are you?” he demanded.

“I’m Chong,” the red-hat man replied. He waved to the woman to his right, who curtsied and smiled, “and this is my wife Lily. We’re nomads.” He said it as though that was the answer to any possible questions. “Happy to go wherever the wind takes us.”

As Chong strummed his instrument, which emitted wild, sporadic notes, Aang’s face lit up excitedly. “You guys are nomads?! That’s great! I’m a nomad!” 

“Hey! Me too!” 

Aang gave Chong a strange and unimpressed look. “I know… You just said that.”

“Oh,” Chong did not seem too bothered by this. 

“You have beautiful hair,” Lily exclaimed, splashing the water with her bare feet and walking right up to Katara, picking up one long strand and bringing it right up to her own face. 

Katara pulled the lock carefully away. “Uh, thanks,” she replied. 

Out of the corner of her eye she spotted another of the nomads approaching Zuko with similar curiosity, plucking at his plain green robes and reaching to touch his head, but the fire bender shied away quickly, glaring skeptically at the offending stranger. “Don’t,” he growled.

Katara bit back a laugh as another of the oblivious strangers approached Zuko’s other side, wide eyed. “You know what I think you need?”

The prince looked as though he were afraid the nomad was about to offer him some sort of poison. Judging by the blank expressions on a few of the group members’ faces Katara would not have been surprised to discover they had consumed some sort of herbal hallucinogen so she supposed his dubious expression was not entirely unwarranted. 

The woman closest to Zuko pulled a strand of flowers from within her bags. “A crown, you look like you’re meant to wear a crown.” And she placed the circle of blue blossoms atop his head before he could protest.

The irony was too much and this time Katara could not contain her snickers as the prince glanced up at his new accessory apprehensively, as though it might bite him, and then at her. The deep furrow in his brow lessened ever so slightly and she could have sworn she saw a brief, rosy color rise to his cheeks at her laughter. 

The joke was on her when a moment later she was unable to come up with an excuse to escape Lily who insisted on playing with her hair and adorning it with blossoms as well. Her protests died down quickly as she enjoyed the feel of fingers running along her scalp, delicately and expertly. It reminded her of when Gran Gran had helped her with her hair as a little girl and the sensation was soothing.

Odd as they were, the nomads managed to integrate quickly. Climbing atop Appa and playing with his fur while offering, unprompted, stories of their travels, which Aang eagerly devoured. 

Sokka was not so easily persuaded to relax. He paced grumpily in front of Zuko - who was perched on a rock and clearly trying to avoid unwanted attention, though Katara noticed he had not removed the flower crown. 

“Hey, Sokka, you should hear some of these stories! These guys have been everywhere!” Aang gazed admiringly at the nomads. 

Chong corrected him, “Well, not everywhere, Little Arrowhead, but where we haven’t been, we’ve heard about through stories and songs.”

“They said they’ll take us to see a Giant Nightcrawler!” Katara smiled at the Avatar’s childish enthusiasm. Sometimes it was nice to be reminded that for all his power, Aang was still just a kid. 

A nomad reclining in the dirt added, “On the way, there’s a waterfall that creates a never-ending rainbow.” He rolled to his back, holding his arms out for emphasis. 

“Look,” Sokka said. “I hate to be the wet blanket here, but since Katara is busy, I guess it’s up to me.”

She glared at him in response.  _ I am  _ not  _ a wet blanket.  _

“We need to get to Omashu, no more sidetracks.” He glanced at Zuko who, to his credit, shrunk guiltily further into the cliffside. “No worms, and definitely no rainbows.”

“Whoa, sounds like someone’s got a case of destination fever,” Chong laughed. “You’re worried too much about where you’re going.”

“You gotta focus less on the where and more on the going,” Lily agreed.

“Oh...Ma...Shu,” Sokka shouted. 

Katara decided to help ease her brother’s frustration despite his earlier insult. “Sokka’s right. We need to find King Bumi so Aang can learn earth bending somewhere safe.”

“Well, sounds like you’re headed to Omashu.” 

Sokka looked at Chong in exasperation and slapped a hand to his forehead, but the nomad continued. “There’s an old story about a secret pass right through the mountains.”

Katara was skeptical of anything the nomads had to say, especially Chong, who seemed to have the memory of an otter penguin. “Is this real, or a legend?”

“Oh, it’s a real legend,” the man assured her. “And it’s as old as earth bending itself.” He began plucking at his stringed instrument and the entire group -except Zuko, who seemed to be pondering if this was all a strange dream- collectively swayed their heads in response to the sound as though hypnotized. 

“Two lovers, forbidden from-one-another… A war divides-their-people, and a mountain divides them-apart… Built a path to-be-together.” Chong abruptly stopped singing. “Yeah… I forget the next part, but then it goes… SECRET TUNNEL THROUGH THE MOUNTAIN -SECRET, SECRET, SECRET TUNNEL -YEAH!” 

Sokka was unamused. He crossed his arms as the rest of the group applauded and Zuko nodded in silent agreement as he said, “I think we’ll just stick with flying. We’ve dealt with the Fire Nation before, we’ll be fine.” 

“Yeah, thanks for the help, but Appa hates going underground,” Aang said. “And we need to do whatever makes Appa most comfortable.”

Katara was stunned when Zuko spoke next. “You’ve dealt with me… Azula is different. Maybe we should take the tunnel…” She noticed him unconsciously reach to touch the spot on his chest where beneath his shirt the mark of his sister’s attack remained. He seemed suddenly distant, as though he had drifted into the spirit world again. 

Sokka was ready to argue, but Katara spoke up before he could, “Fine, Secret Love Cave it is.”

She caught Zuko’s dumbfounded blinking.

“I still don’t trust you,” Katara scowled, correcting him before he could get any ideas. “I just happen to have firsthand knowledge of how dangerous your sister actually is…” She glanced at his hand still resting on his chest and he dropped it quickly and looked away from her sharp stare abashedly, frowning. 

_ It’ll be fine…  _ she thought. 

How foolish she would find that thought when a few hours later they were encouraging Appa gently into the gaping maw of the tunnel and walking into the intimidating abyss of inky-darkness -the people she knew and trusted, vastly outnumbered by strangers and a Fire Nation exile.   
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope I haven't lost any of you! I'm loosely following the show for a bit longer, but things will pick up a bit in the SECREEEET TUNNELLLL -let me know what you think so far in the comments, and as always, thank you for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks everyone for your kind remarks, notes, and kudos on the last chapter. I'm sorry this took so long to update -I got pretty anxious about this one! 
> 
> I want to give a massive shoutout to Sam (sifuzuko on tumblr and AO3) who was my beta reader for this chapter and helped me get it to a place where I was finally confident enough to post it (SERIOUSLY YOU'RE THE BEST AND I OWE YOU BIG TIME)! 
> 
> I really hope you enjoy my canon divergent/Zutara take on the Cave of Two Lovers. Maybe even enough to keep reading? ;) Please be sure to give me your thoughts/feelings if any -or as I like to call them: writing fuel. 
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar the Last Airbender or any of the characters featured in this work. Some of the content below is pulled directly from the show.

Whatever magic Katara had worked, it truly was miraculous. As Zuko practiced breathing deeply to fend off the panic of being in a dark, confined space his chest felt mostly normal, save for the deep ache of loneliness gnawing at it. He thought of his uncle, pictured him working to try and tempt Azula to follow him… working to buy Zuko time to get as far away as possible. What good would it do ultimately? Zuko wondered. He knew that one day she would find him, and that he would have to face her again. Maybe there was more to Uncle’s leaving than he had told him. Maybe he would never know... 

Zuko sighed in frustration, turning his attention to more immediate concerns. He could tell they were lost, but he wasn’t about to say anything and draw Sokka’s irritation to him. No, Zuko preferred to trail carefully at the back of the pack, so far back that he was forced to provide his own light -- a small flame cupped carefully in his palm. 

Lilly’s voice floated back to him in echoes describing (for about the hundredth time in the past hour) the curse of the tunnels: “All you need to do is trust in love. That’s the way out.” 

“Yeah, yeah...You couldn’t have clarified that this is a  _ labyrinth  _ of tunnels  _ before  _ we walked into the dark?!” Sokka whined, exasperated. 

“It’ll be okay, Sokka. We’ll make it out.” The Avatar sounded exceedingly confident. When Zuko peered around Appa’s big head, he caught the boy staring admiringly at the back of a certain water bender.  _ Trust in love indeed…  _

He could see why Aang might hold affection for the girl. Zuko had found himself stealing glances at her every so often, as though her healing had imparted some sort of magnetism drawing him to her; but that was something out of the romance stories his mother had loved so much, and his life was decidedly not of that genre. Though Katara’s features were objectively attractive, Zuko decided that the more likely answer for his watchfulness was that he owed the waterbender a great debt for saving his life. Who wouldn’t be mindful of that? 

“We just reached our dozenth dead end!” Sokka scratched furiously at a piece of paper on which he was inscribing his makeshift map. “And…” He squinted at it. “We’ve already been here. How is that possible?” 

“It’s your map! The curse says to trust in  _ love. _ ” Chong picked absentmindedly at the strings of his instrument. He seemed remarkably calm, but then again, so did the rest of the nomads, as though they had overdosed on Uncle’s beloved calming tea. 

“Can I see the map?” Zuko asked, extending a tentative hand. 

Sokka thrust it at him grumpily, “Suit yourself.”

Zuko released the fire in his palm and took the paper with both hands, glancing from tunnel wall to map several times. Sokka’s markings were incredibly difficult to decipher, especially in the dim lighting, but…  _ Impossible.  _

“What is it?” 

Zuko was startled by Katara’s question so close to his ear, reading over his shoulder. “Uh…”

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost — what is it?” she asked again. 

Her face was softer in the dark and her voice lacked the usual edge he had come to expect from her when she spoke to him. “I know it sounds crazy, but… according to this the tunnels have shifted.”

She scoffed, taking the map from him and handing it back to her brother, “You’re right. That sounds crazy.”

“It’s the curse!” one of the nomads moaned.

Zuko wasn’t so sure about that, but through the ensuing argument between Sokka and Chong he heard a sinister, demonic sound. It was rapidly increasing in volume, as though something were approaching from within the nearest tunnel. Yes, his story was more of a horror than a romance — the tale of a boy scarred not only by his father, but by his sister as well- and as if to cement this idea, another monster was approaching. 

“Everyone, be quiet, listen.” Katara raised a hand, and everyone ceased moving except for the nervous shifting of their eyes from tunnel to tunnel. 

The sound became less mysterious and more distinctly animalistic in the following moments, until Zuko was certain what was coming. “Wolfbat!” he shouted. The distinct growling and clicking raised a childhood memory of when Azula had tried to convince him that they were friendly as they climbed in a small Ember Island cave. That had ended with a scratch to his arm, he had run crying to the safety of their mother’s arms.  _ No one to run to now…  _

The wolfbat’s red eyes and skull-like face emerged from the gloom, fangs bared menacingly. It flew straight for Sokka, who swept at it, using his torch like a sword. The creature snarled and evaded the flames, leaping from rocky wall to rocky wall, before circling back and diving for Momo, who screeched unhappily and flew to Sokka for protection. As he did, the lemur knocked the torch from the boy’s hands sending it rolling towards Appa, who was already extremely on edge. 

The large beast began to stampede in alarm, throwing himself against the walls around him, desperate for a way out. Zuko felt the earth vibrate beneath his feet and ran to the sky bison, heedless of the threat of being trampled. “Appa, shh, it’s okay, it’s okay.” He glanced nervously at the roof of the tunnel. “Be still, Appa!” he begged as he felt dust rain onto his shoulders and head. 

It was too late. Appa struck a vital support column in the center of the tunnel crossroads. Zuko watched, wide-eyed and fearful, as several large chunks of rock broke free and began hurtling towards their group. 

Fortunately, Aang was quick to action, air bending the nomads, Momo, and Sokka quickly out of the way. As a piece of earth crashed down upon him, he had to stop and duck beneath the relative safety of his own arms, thrown over his vulnerable head. 

Relief flooded over Zuko, but he realized that not everyone was safe yet.  _ Katara…  _ Zuko had scanned for her without realizing and he spotted the water bender positioned directly beneath a boulder that was hurtling at alarming speed towards her. He feared Aang would not make it in time. He owed her his life, and here was his chance to return the favor.

Zuko sprinted recklessly for the waterbender and tackled her, propelling them both away from immediate danger. Their limbs knocked together painfully as they collided. Zuko tried his best to form his body into a cage to absorb most of the impact. When they finally stopped rolling their ragged breathing and the soft crackle of the remaining torch were the only things to break the deafening silence. 

“What are you doing?!” 

Her eyes were like ice and Zuko was gasping for air, but he somehow managed to tell her, “Keeping rocks from crushing you.” 

“Okay, I’m not crushed. You can get off of me now.” Katara shoved her way out from under Zuko and stood, teetering somewhat in shock. 

_ I’ll take that as a thank-you…  _ He had wanted this strange draw he felt to disappear, and yet, despite having saved her life — a debt repaid — he still could not tear his eyes from her as she staggered and collapsed to her knees by the cave-in.

“Aang! Sokka!” she called, clawing frantically at the rock wall that had formed in the aftermath of the collapse. 

Zuko stood gingerly and reached down to pick up the fallen torch before walking cautiously towards her. 

“We’re separated.” His heart stuttered at the sound of the sob Katara choked back and the sight of the silver, firelit tracks on her cheeks where tears had slid down her face. He felt he knew her pain, because he carried it too, being without his uncle, the only true family he had left, but he did not dare tell her that. 

“We’ll find them…” Zuko tried his best to mask his uncertainty, but the despair on the water bender’s face took on a more irritated tone the longer she looked at him. 

***

“This is your fault!” Katara jabbed an accusing finger into Zuko’s chest. A hint of remorse surfaced when she saw him wince from where she had connected with the still tender tissue of his wound. A hint, but not enough to drown out her lingering resentment.. 

She knew it wasn’t actually his fault. If anything, Appa was to blame, and Zuko  _ had  _ tried to calm him — that had been an astonishing sight, the fire nation prince placing himself in harm’s way to try and help the Avatar’s sky bison. Still, as she looked back at the barrier between herself and her loved ones, she found herself longing for the other side. Or at least that she was stuck on this side with someone else.  _ Anyone  _ else.

Since healing the Fire Nation prince a strange thing had happened. Maybe it had to do with the spirit water’s properties, but she felt herself curiously observing Zuko. She figured it had something to do with a healer’s desire to look after her patient, but then why had she cared when he had first entered the cave and seemed to tense up? It was unlikely it had anything to do with the lightning strike. So why had she wanted to ask him if he was _ okay _ ? 

“I’m sorry…” For a moment he had such a soft expression on his face, the scar turned to the darkness so that she could not see it, and with his shaved head...but…  _ Not Aang.  _ He did not need comfort, and he did not appear to be asking for it, he simply accepted her vehemence. 

He offered her the torch he was holding. “At least if you’re stuck with me you don’t need to worry about this burning out and being left in the dark?” As she took the torch from him, a confused look on her face, he held up a hand in awkward explanation, a petite flame resting in his curled fingers. 

His unexpected, shy half-smile caused her to release her scowl ever so slightly.  _ Have I ever seen him smile before? No…  _ When would she have seen him smile? Unless out of fierce delight over capturing Aang, and this was not that kind of smile. It was soft and hesitant, and hopeful.  _ Maybe he can change. Maybe he wants to, after all he’s been through.  _ But Katara was not ready to let her guard down yet, so she turned away from him and began marching in the only direction left to go.

As part of the group, Katara had not felt the oppressive effect of the tunnels, comforted by the presence of her friends. Wandering with only the glow of her torch and Zuko’s flickering firelight to guide their way felt different, especially as she led the way. Every fork they came to was agonizing -- left or right? She always felt she was choosing wrong. 

The torch only provided enough light to see a few feet in front of her and beyond that it was impossible to tell what awaited. It was as though every step she took was the same as the last, and it made her skin crawl in a way that no arctic wind had ever done. 

How much time had passed? She glanced at the torch, which had barely diminished in length. What seemed like hours had been mere minutes.  _ I’m going to lose my mind,  _ she thought, panicked as she stared into the unblinking, never-changing void of the tunnel.  _ Distraction, I need a distraction.  _ She longed to hear Aang’s laugh after one of Sokka’s horrible jokes, even for the low sounds of Appa’s unintelligible grumblings. But she had to work with what she had. 

She slowed her pace and distinctly shifted to the side to open a space for Zuko to walk beside her, but he maintained his respectful and wary distance, carefully watching the back of her feet, so she stopped and stared back until he lifted his head in curiosity. 

“What’s wrong?” he asked, and despite how different his husky voice was from any of her friends’ Katara still found it comforting. A reminder she was not alone in the abyss.

“It’s creepy you walking behind me like that,” she lied. “Just walk with me.”

Zuko did not say anything else, simply nodded and made sure to step nearly exactly in line with Katara as they continued. It wasn’t enough. Katara still felt the tightness in her chest. She could not help the short sigh of discomfort that escaped her. She avoided Zuko’s eyes when they flicked to her. 

“Are you okay?”

_ What, like you care?  _ But when she glanced at him it seemed as though he were genuinely concerned, or at least sympathetic. “I just want to get out of here already.”

“I don’t like it either. It’s so weird, there’s plenty of space and yet, I feel like there’s not enough  _ air _ .” His eyes wandered over the earthen walls of the tunnel apprehensively. 

“Yeah,” Katara agreed. He had surmised exactly how she felt, but she wasn’t sure what else to say. It was still too strange, finding common ground with the enemy. 

“It must be especially hard for you,” Zuko continued. “This seems very different from the wide, open terrain of the South Pole.”

Katara’s eyes narrowed at the mention of her home. Her home that _Zuko_ had _attacked._ But the comment seemed harmless and at the moment, so did he. “Is that why you froze when we first came into the tunnel? You don’t like tight spaces?”

Zuko seemed flustered that she had noticed this. The flame he held briefly shrunk, hiding, but there was no such place for its bender to do the same. His golden eyes took on that distant look Katara was beginning to recognize. He had done it several times since joining them, and she often wondered where he was in those moments. Plotting something? She could see now that it was not that. Something painful lingered in the set of Zuko’s lips, in the slight wrinkle between his brows. “It’s not tight spaces specifically… I just don’t like feeling trapped. My sister… When we were younger, she would often play tricks on me. One time she locked me in a closet. Another time…” He caught himself. “Yeah, I just don’t like feeling trapped.”

Katara’s eyes involuntarily settled on the spot where she knew the star-shaped injury to be. She felt if Zuko were to put out his fire and her torch were to suddenly be extinguished, still she would be able to find this spot. As though the spirit water remained there, calling her to this random mark. Some part of her wanted to try and offer him comfort, for the horrible reality of that wound and its origin, but this was  _ not _ common ground they shared.  _ Sokka would never, not ever…  _

Something in Zuko’s expression shifted and Katara looked away to see what had caused the change. From out of the pitch-black a circular door had emerged, an arch carved into the stone around it, framing it. 

“Look! We found the exit!” Katara sprinted forward, grinning, relief flooding through her. She placed a hand on the rock and pushed, grunting with effort, but the door did not budge. 

Zuko, seeing her frown as she looked the door up and down, palm resting against the center of it, walked forward to offer his assistance. The moment his hand touched the stone the door released a whisper of stale air and slid back. Katara glanced at him. His gold eyes held just as much confusion as she felt.  _ Odd,  _ she thought, but didn’t dare question it any longer, springing forward eagerly. 

As she passed through the opening disappointment made itself at home in the pit of her stomach. Her face fell as her torch illuminated the room for all that it was -- just a room, no miraculous way out.  _ Wait… Not just a room.  _ Her gaze landed on the two sarcophaguses resting in the center of the space, side by side. 

“It’s a tomb.” She jumped at Zuko’s voice so close to her, but he did not seem to notice, he was studying their new surroundings intently, like a scholar reading an important text. 

Katara felt the strangest sensation as she followed his gaze. She felt not that they were intruding, but that somehow she had been here before. It was extremely unsettling. She started down the stairs further into the tomb in the hopes that the movement would displace the feeling from her, but the deeper she traveled the more powerful it seemed to become. 

Zuko made his way to the round platform upon which the two sarcophaguses sat. He knelt to squint at the engravings upon the surface, allowing his flame to grow ever-so-slightly in order to provide more visibility. “I don’t believe it,” he said in an awed tone, “it’s the two lovers from that legend the nomads were going on and on about.These pictures tell their story.”

Katara drifted to crouch beside Zuko. Strangely she did not recoil as she once might have when her shoulder brushed his. Picture by picture she followed the story of the two lovers. As it had before, some part of her felt that this was something she already knew, but had perhaps forgotten. 

_ They met on top of the mountain that divided their two villages… The villages were enemies so they could not be together… But their love was strong, and they found a way.  _ As she examined the carvings she instinctively colored them in her head, till she could almost feel the soft silk of the red and blue robes.. 

_ The two lovers learned earthbending from the badger-moles… They became the first earthbenders… They built elaborate tunnels so that they could meet secretly.  _ She paused at the image of the two lovers kissing, and felt for a moment, a tickling sensation on her lips, a ghost of a kiss. Instinctively, she wanted to laugh and smile at this image, as though in fond remembrance. She glanced at Zuko, surprised to see that he had a small smile on his face.

_ Anyone who tried to follow them would be lost forever in the labyrinth… But one day the man didn’t come… He died in the war between their two villages…  _ Katara blinked and wiped at a tear that rolled down her face, she was so absorbed in the story she did not register the strangeness of the overwhelming shattering sensation in her chest, the heaviness that landed on her shoulders like a cloak. It seemed perfectly natural. 

_ Devastated, the woman unleashed a terrible display of her earthbending power… She could have destroyed them all… But instead she declared the war over… Both villages helped her build a city where they would live together in peace… The woman’s name was Oma and the man’s name was Shu… The great city was named Omashu as a monument to their love…  _

Katara looked to the back wall of the tomb, where from the stone, a beautiful depiction of the two lovers, kneeling and leaning in to press their lips together, loomed. Though they were made of earth, in Katara’s mind they moved, lifelike, breathing, as familiar as her own reflection. 

“Love is brightest in the dark,” Zuko murmured beside her. 

Katara tore her eyes away from the two lovers and looked to the firebender beside her. A minute passed in which they watched each other from perspectives that were both their own and other. She could not shake the sudden rush of affection she felt towards him. The desire to reach out and place her hand against his cheek, to feel her lips against his own… 

Her fingers twitched. She thought she heard Zuko inhale softly and then hold his breath. Still kneeling before the engravings, they turned towards each other, mimicking the backdrop behind them of the two legends to whom the room belonged. Simultaneously they began to lean in… 

They were less than an inch away from recreating the scene of the two lovers when Zuko’s eyes suddenly narrowed and he jerked back sharply, shaking his head as though to clear something from it. With the burst of unexpected motion Katara too, began to regain herself, the peculiar impression that she was living a memory fading rapidly. She half-wished it would return just so she could escape the mortification that was replacing it. 

As Zuko retreated -- feigning extreme interest in an architectural feature of the tomb several feet away from Katara -- a wave of gratitude washed over her. _What in the spirits was that?_ Her heart was fluttering in a way she was not accustomed to. Almost like the way it had raced in excitement when she had kissed Jet, but not quite. And yet… It was _Zuko… Zuko?!_ She stood and began to pace, anything to ground herself in reality. _That wasn’t me and that wasn’t him,_ she told herself firmly as she shot a glare at the two lovers effigy and shivered. 

_ Love is brightest in the dark… Trust in love, trust in love…  _ Once again she felt her muscles clench, felt as though her breathing were constricted, as she cast her torch about, light falling on earth in every direction.  _ The curse… We’ll be trapped in here forever unless we trust in love, but how am I supposed to trust in love so far from my loved ones?  _ Sokka and Aang appeared in her mindseye, but when she looked to her left it was Zuko’s back she saw.  _ Why couldn’t it be trust in  _ mis _ trust? There’s plenty of that between us.  _

Since she had met Aang, Katara felt she had learned much about the spirit world. Not enough to explain what exactly had just happened with Zuko, but enough that she felt confident in her guess.  _ Oma and Shu are in here with us.  _

“Leave us alone, you’re messing with the wrong pair -- trust me,” she muttered darkly to the empty gloom surrounding them.

Zuko spun at the sound and Katara noticed his cheeks were still flushed with embarrassment and confusion. He mentioned nothing about their near intimate moment and Katara decided not to acknowledge it either. 

“Were you talking to me?” 

“Uh, no.” Katara stared at him.  _ Love is brightest in the dark…maybe… maybe Oma and Shu have unfinished business, maybe we need to…  _ Just the thought of it made the hairs on her arms stand on end. 

“Love is brightest in the dark,” Zuko repeated, chin resting between his thumb and pointer finger. 

_ Is he thinking it too? This is crazy…  _ But Katara was desperate to get out of the tunnels and reunite with Aang and Sokka and no other solutions were coming to mind. She had never dealt with a curse before, but she had seen the power of spirits firsthand. They were incredibly driven by emotion and by that same logic it seemed that an answer to their problems might very well be to reconcile the wishes of the spirits who had created the labyrinth. 

_ Would it really be that bad?  _ Katara asked herself, studying his striking features with more care than she had ever bothered to before.  _ Without that ponytail and ever present scowl twisting his face he might even be somewhat, cute, handsome?  _ She barely stifled a groan even as her resolve grew.  _ It almost happened minutes ago anyways... _

She took a step towards him.

“Brightest in the…” Zuko was mumbling, staring at Oma and Shu. 

“Zuko…” Katara said softly. Just one more step and the distance between them would be nonexistent.

The fire bender’s eyes shone brightly -- he did have nice eyes, Katara decided. Beautiful, maybe even kind. 

A smile grew on his face. She liked his smile, it was unexpected, a rare gift. 

He reached towards her hand…

Katara closed her eyes and once again leaned in…  _ Spirits I hope this works,  _ she thought, cursing Oma and Shu silently for this humiliation, though she did not find herself dreading it as she anticipated she would have. Her heart began fluttering again, even more intensely this time.

There was a sudden whoosh and the orange glow against Katara’s eyelids turned to black. Her eyes flew open, surprised. An awkward burst of relieved laughter escaped from her lips as she realized what had happened.. 

Zuko was looking down at her, the satisfied smirk on his face illuminated not by her torch or his fire, but by the glow of the green crystals above them. “Brightest in the dark,” he whispered. Zuko seemed unaware of how close they stood as he pointed to the crystals, but Katara felt the heat of his body acutely, setting her nerves aflame. 

“Of course -- right!” Katara replied, somewhat breathlessly, and quickly began her ascent up the stairs and back to the main tunnels, following the lovers’ lights. 

She found that for all the resistance she had held at the thought of having to kiss Zuko it was annoyingly more difficult to overcome the curiosity that remained now that it had not happened. 

***

Zuko had managed to resist the invisible forces in the tomb, pulling him towards Katara, whispering in his mind memories of soft kisses, shared smiles, and tight embraces. He could tell he was rid of that possession -- and so was she -- but  _ still  _ he found himself carefully considering his every word and move around her, balancing on a knife’s edge. 

_ She was going to kiss me.  _ They had been so close, not once, but twice, in the tomb. The first time he considered a fluke, sensing that somehow, external, occult forces had been invovled. But the second… Zuko blushed, thankful Katara’s back was to him. 

She had not asked him to walk beside her again and he was careful to give her space. He thought for sure that Katara had only been leaning in a second time, not out of desire, but out of what she regarded as necessity. He had only realized what she was doing standing so close after he had extinguished their lights to unveil the glowing crystals. For one brief second her eyes had been closed, her head tilted, her pretty lips slightly pursed. Then the moment had passed, her eyes had opened, her cheeks had darkened, and she had abruptly turned and walked away. 

Zuko did not know what to do with the disappointment that lingered. He wished it were as simple as the spirit of Shu flowing through him, hoping for one last reunion with his beloved Oma, but Zuko was certain the spirit had remained in his final resting place, and that the feelings that followed him out of the tomb and back into the tunnels were entirely his own. 

Which was why he was being so cautious, taking extra effort to save Katara any embarrassment by playing clueless at the second attempt at a kiss. It was confusing and a little alarming. He still had no idea why, but he cared what she thought of him, even though he knew it likely wasn’t anything good, given their history as adversaries and the fact that a mere day had passed since a tenuous peace had been formed.  _ A peace that wasn’t even her choice,  _ he reminded himself, knowing that Aang’s suggestion was the sole reason he had been permitted to join their group. 

_ Get ahold of yourself, Zuko.  _ Saving her life had not helped, so it was not a sense of debt that held him captive, watching her eyes sparkle in the crystal light. Leaving the tomb had not helped -- if anything the draw he felt was worse now -- so it was not spirits that caused him to reflect on the cute, nervous laugh she had emitted after her eyes had opened. What was happening? Now that they were no longer on opposing sides in a war how could it be that admiration for her came so quickly, so easily?

Uncle had once told him a story about a soldier he knew who had fallen deeply in love with the healer who had saved his life.  _ That has to be what this is. Just a silly infatuation for someone who showed you great kindness.  _ He nodded to himself, meditating on this thought until he was certain he had convinced himself.  _ It’s just new to you, that someone like her would care enough to help you… That’s all. It’ll pass.  _

They rounded a corner and a halo of light appeared. In unspoken agreement they sprinted towards it, bursting out of the tunnel and into brilliant, blinding, sunlight. They took deep draws of refreshing, crisp air. 

“Katara!” Sokka rushed towards his sister, grinning. “You guys made it!” He hugged her tightly and Zuko could not help but stare, thinking of the reaction his own sibling might have to discover him safe and sound.  _ Probably electrocute the shit out of me again…  _

“I’m so glad you’re okay!” Aang was next in line to embrace the waterbender. Zuko noticed he held on slightly longer than necessary and gazed at Katara with immense concern. “You are okay, right? How did you guys get out?”

“Uh, how did  _ you guys  _ get out?” Katara quickly asked, shooting Zuko a brief, meaningful look. 

Sokka smirked and gestured behind him to where a girl in Earth Kingdom clothing was standing, arms crossed. She was so short Zuko had not seen her past Sokka’s tall frame. Her grey eyes were hazy and blank, but she had a thoughtful frown on her face and Zuko instinctively felt that somehow, she could read his mind. 

“This is Toph,” Sokka explained. 

“She’s amazing!” Aang chimed in, grinning in the girl’s direction. “She’s running away from her family -- kind of like you, Zuko!”

Zuko coughed, choking on thin air and pure astonishment, eyes wide at Aang’s innocent audacity. Toph’s eyes narrowed at the sound.

“Anyways,” Aang’s tone turned suddenly morose. “She said she had just passed through Omashu and it’s been taken over by the Fire Nation. King Bumi has disappeared…”

“Aang, I’m so sorry.” Katara gently laid a hand on the airbender’s shoulder. 

He shrugged. “It’s okay we’ll free the city once I’ve mastered all four bending forms -- we’ll free the world.”

Zuko felt a pang of intense guilt. He looked away from the crestfallen Avatar’s face, this boy who had so willingly taken him in when he had nowhere else to go. If Azula hadn’t nearly killed him would he be by her side celebrating the conquering of another city? How could he ever atone for the transgressions of his family? Of his nation? Of his own?

“Why’s this one over here acting like a kicked-puppy all of a sudden?” Toph’s finger pointed to Zuko who once again got so anxious that he momentarily struggled to breathe. 

“That’s Zuko, the one we were telling you about,” Sokka said. 

“Oh, so you’re the banished Fire Nation prince? And that must mean you’re Katara?” Her head turned in the waterbender’s direction. 

Zuko was speechless.  _ Did they seriously blab about me to this total stranger?!  _

“Nice to meet you?” Katara looked the girl up and down. “Uh, how…” She searched for a way to ask delicately. 

Toph grinned and lifted a bare foot, the bottom of it black with dirt. She wiggled her toes. “Yeah, I’m blind. But I am also an earthbender, so I can see things that way...and tell if people are being truthful.” Her sightless eyes eerily landed directly on Katara and Zuko. The waterbender shifted further from him and he fought the urge to sigh, burying that disappointed instinct. 

“She’s going to teach me earthbending! That’s how we got out… She’s a real master, learned from the badgermoles and everything!” Aang told them excitedly. 

Zuko stared at the girl with new appreciation. Blind, young, a runaway,  _ and  _ a bending master. It was impressive, but she still made him uneasy with her lie detecting abilities -and he was still peeved Aang and Sokka had run their mouths.

“She also said the Fire Nation is headed for Ba Sing Se now that they have taken Omashu… If they capture the Earth Kingdom capital…” Sokka shook his head grimly. “We have to get there before they do, to warn the Earth King.”

“ _ She  _ is right here, and now that you’ve found the rest of your friends I’d say it’s about time we get moving.”

_ Friends,  _ Zuko thought in wonderment.  _ If only she knew…  _ Though maybe she did and just didn’t fully understand despite her unique astuteness. 

“Where are Chong and the others?” Katara asked, looking around. 

“They left before you guys got out. We were seriously just about to go back in after you with Toph.” Zuko cringed at the image of the Avatar finding him and Katara in Oma and Shu’s tomb, faces inches apart. Something told him Aang would not be so welcoming if he were to discover Zuko anywhere close to kissing his crush.

Zuko was so lost in thought he didn’t notice Appa approaching him until the massive creature had laid his equally massive tongue against the entire right side of Zuko’s body and licked, nearly lifting him off his feet with the force of the action. He slowly wiped at the drool that saturated his clothing and dripped from his face, scowling. 

Aang and Sokka immediately broke into peals of laughter, clutching their sides. “He’s just apologizing for not listening to you earlier in the caves, and thanking you for trying to help him.” the airbender explained. 

But Zuko barely heard him. His irritation subsided.  _ It’ll pass, it’ll pass,  _ he told himself, even as his heart threatened to leap out of his chest as he noticed Katara watching him with those incredible blue eyes and a soft smile. 

_ It’ll…  _


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: There is a brief depiction of a panic attack in this chapter, it is based on my own experiences with them.

In the week following their departure from the Secret Tunnel Zuko struggled to find his place in the group. He frequently found himself daydreaming about the Fire Nation ship he had traveled upon with his uncle. Increasingly, he would shut his eyes and try to imagine he was back in his gloomy room in the depths of the ship’s hull with nothing but the occasional slap of the waves against steel to disturb him. There was no such privacy to be found traveling with the Avatar.

Uncle had often irritated Zuko as he poured over maps and old texts, scanning for clues about the Avatar. _‘Have some calming tea, Prince Zuko… You must rest, Prince Zuko… Join us for a game of Pai Sho.’_ Zuko would give anything for his uncle’s gentle insistence now, surrounded as he was by impetuous teenagers. 

To be fair, he was young and hotheaded himself -a far cry from the patient wisdom of Iroh- but he had been careful to keep his frustrations to himself lately. Being new to the Avatar’s team, and knowing that the trust they had for him was shaky at best, he felt an outburst would be less than helpful --never mind the fact that he did not think Katara would receive it well, and hers was the opinion he found himself caring about most. 

The temptation was never far away. Not with the constant shouting riling him up. If it wasn’t Sokka and Katara bickering, it was Katara and Toph, Aang and Toph, or even Momo and Sokka. The voices. Never. Stopped.

Zuko made every effort to ease the strain on his frayed nerves by attempting to meditate regularly, but it would seem that there was some sort of rule against it with how (eerily) each time he crossed his legs, the group’s squabbling reached a crescendo. When his fifth attempt of the day was thwarted, yet again, by some useless argument something snapped inside of Zuko. The fire swelled briefly as he charged away from the light of camp and into the cool dusk without a word. 

He could sense their quiet stares at his back for a moment before the yelling resumed, Katara’s fury rising above the rest. “Toph! How is it possible for you to be _this_ selfish? Can you at least help unload the rest of the supplies or gather more wood for the fire?” Both girls were headstrong and unfamiliar with compromise --a volatile combination that Zuko hoped would settle with time for the sake of his eardrums and sanity. 

The further he got from their campsite for the evening the more relaxed he became. To be alone with his thoughts was a blessing. He hadn’t realized how much he treasured time to himself until it had been stripped from him. 

Zuko exhaled heavily as he approached a small lake nestled amongst the trees, just far enough away that the shouts could not reach him. In the quiet, the firebender felt some of the tension he had been holding onto so tightly leave his body. He lowered himself onto a rocky shelf that jutted out over the water, catching a glimpse of himself in the glass-like surface of the lake. 

Without the peak of his ponytail sticking out from the top of his head it felt for a second as though he were spying on a stranger. The scar, however, was unmistakably his. There was a time where he had memorized its shape, its colors, its texture. Staring for hours every day at the reflection in the mirror, forcing himself to look, to remind himself of his mistakes and his need to reverse them. He hesitated for a moment before lifting his shirt over his head and twisting his body so that he could see the reflection of his chest.

It was hard not to flinch, remembering the pain, but it had been a challenge to see his face in the mirror once too. Eventually he would come to tolerate it just as he had the mark of his father.

His sister’s work was different. The epicenter was a stark white star and radiating from it were pale, pink tendrils that reminded Zuko of branches. A family tree; a permanent connection embedded upon his skin. Azula’s mark would serve as a reminder that there was no home to return to --not this time. All the years spent chasing the Avatar had been in vain. Now, his father wanted him to disappear, whether in prison or in death. And Azula? 

When he had been banished she had still been so young. Alone without a mother or brother to guide her. The Fire Lord’s will was all she knew. His desire for power had twisted her just as it had Zuko, but where his uncle’s words had kept him from losing himself completely Azula had no such comforts. All she knew was dark. It was likely their father’s wishes for him were also her own --evidenced by the damage she had done to his chest.

A ripple in the water distorted his image. He wiped furiously at the tears that tried to chase the other, growling in frustration, but it was too late. Zuko sank to his knees, clutching at his head as though in doing so he could keep all the pain, fear, and anger from spilling out. His fingers passed over the fuzz of hair already beginning to regrow... If only it were so easy to reset what was inside. All of the raw, exposed pieces of his past that shaped him. A mess... He wanted so desperately to cover them with something new, something different, something _better._ But where did he start? Was it even possible?

Every part of him felt as though it would burst into flame as he clenched his jaw, his torso, his fists. His breath came in deep, ragged breaths one minute and in frantic panting the next. A scream sat at the back of his throat unable to escape the prison of his panic anymore than he could. It dragged on and on, seemingly endless. 

When at last his mind cleared and the assault ended he felt as though he had purged an evil spirit --all that was left was an empty exhaustion. Distantly he thought that he ought to put his shirt back on since the temperature was dropping, but moving seemed too great a task, it was enough just to be sensing bits of the world again through a hazy fog. 

"Zuko?” The voice put Zuko instantly on edge, his moment of recovery interrupted too soon. 

He sat up abruptly and ran a shaky hand quickly across his cheeks, wiping the remnants of damp from them just in time for Aang to come and sit beside him, peering at him intently. Not for the first time Zuko noted the size of the airbender’s eyes. Perhaps it was an Avatar feature? To have eyes so large they seemed to reflect all the light in the world and to see past the physical plane of existence. 

“Are you alright?” Aang asked softly. 

Zuko reached for his shirt and yanked it back onto his lean frame, sighing, trying to find his patience. “I just needed a break.”

The boy nodded in understanding. “They argue a lot, but it’s all well-meaning.”

Zuko did not reply. He turned his gaze skyward to observe the twilight, the stars that were beginning to appear. 

Aang followed his eyes. “Are you sure you’re okay? Are you missing your uncle?” 

Zuko could not deny the sinking feeling that followed the mention of Iroh despite how casually Aang had tried to be in his delivery. “Yeah,” he croaked. “I really am… I hope he’s alright.”

“I know how it feels to be very alone.” The airbender’s grey eyes remained fixed on the sky as he spoke. “The air nomads were my family, and I lost all of them.”

 _Because of the Fire Nation…_ Though he no longer wore their colors -though he had not even been alive when the Fire Nation had attacked the Air Nomads- Zuko still felt a sense of personal responsibility for the atrocities of his family, echoing throughout history in more ways than perhaps he would ever fully comprehend. “I don’t know what to say…”

“I didn’t say that to make you feel bad, Zuko,” Aang explained. “It’s not your fault, and you’re with us now --helping us. I just wanted you to know you are not alone in your sorrow. I understand.”

Aang’s intentions were good, but as he reached to place a kind hand on Zuko’s shoulder the firebender flinched. What did he know? The _Avatar._ How could _he_ understand? Zuko felt a fraction of his former resentment emerge. “You’re wrong,” he said in a low, dark tone. 

Aang was loved nearly as effortlessly as he loved others. People admired him, believed in him --and he believed in them, giving second chances as easily as he bent the air around them. Zuko had been the fortunate recipient of one of these second chances. Still, he was bitter that Aang could so casually draw a comparison between the two of them. Didn’t he see who he was talking to? The fire in his eyes. The scar on his face.

“Zuko what’s the-”

“ _You’re. Wrong_ ,” Zuko snarled, standing to glare down at the airbender. “You _don’t_ understand. It’s not the same. It’s not the same _at all_. You lost your family because of the Fire Nation --because of my family. _My family,_ who tried to _kill_ me. Who will try again...” He struggled to find the words to describe that kind of hurt. “I’m not some lonely kid who needs friends. I’m a fugitive of my own nation being hunted by my own blood. Until you know what that’s like don’t bother to try and comfort me. I don’t want it and I don’t deserve it anyways.”

The monk’s face was crestfallen and for a moment Zuko faltered, but still the Avatar’s inquisitive eyes remained fixed on him with… _pity,_ and he pushed once more against the bridge that the boy had been trying to build between them. “I will teach you to firebend --I owe you that much for the forgiveness you have shown me- but after that I’m leaving. I don’t belong here and you don’t want me here anyways. Believe me.”

Zuko turned back to the forest, but froze, when he spotted Katara leaning against a tree, regarding him coolly. Since their moment in the tomb Katara had been distinctly distant, avoiding him at what seemed like all costs... _Easier to confront a feisty earthbender than to face the enemy you almost kissed._

He didn’t blame her. She was another victim of his family’s actions. Another of the many who believed in and loved the Avatar. And here he was the antithesis of all that hope… Who was he to even dream of earning the honor of her trust? 

He broke his stare and continued on his way back to the fire, feeling worse than when he had left --wishing Iroh was there. 

A presence followed him as he left the lake. Not one of the Avatar’s friends he was still acquainting himself with. No, this companion was familiar... After all these years he knew self-loathing as well as his own shadow, and it readily swept over him.

***

Zuko wore a defeated expression as his eyes turned from Katara to fall upon the ground. She watched him slowly make his way back to the campsite. Despite the heat of his earlier words the firebender appeared extinguished, shoulders slumped. When his outline faded from view she felt an odd sense of regret. 

“Don’t be mad,” Aang murmured sadly. “He’s just a bit confused.”

Katara sat beside Aang and took off her shoes so she could dangle her feet into the lake. The water was cool and refreshing, a comfort after another long day of travel. “I’m not mad.” 

“You aren’t?”

“Why would I be mad?” Katara kicked her legs lightly. A miniature wave drifted lazily to the opposite shore. 

Aang rubbed his neck abashedly. “Uh, Zuko yelled at me.”

"And? It’s been a long week. We’ve all been getting on each other's nerves. I’m surprised he managed to sulk for so long before blowing up.”

Aang nudged her shoulder with his own. “Katara... I can tell you still don’t trust him. You’ve barely spoken to him the past few days.”

He wasn’t wrong. Katara still did not trust Zuko --it would take more than some time spent traveling with a former adversary to drop her guard completely- but that wasn’t why she had been keeping away from the banished prince. 

The peculiar allure she felt towards Zuko had not subsided with time as she had hoped it might. Pretending he did not exist at all seemed like the best method to prevent the condition worsening. _At least until I can figure out what is happening…_ Whether it was spirit water to blame or some lingering effects of Oma and Shu’s tomb she could not say. She also could _not_ tell Aang the truth about why she continued to avoid the firebender. _He wouldn’t understand..._

“I’ve just been busy dealing with Toph,” Katara shrugged.

Aang sighed. “You guys need to learn to get along… She’s my teacher too.”

“So is Zuko...”

“Yeah, you should probably learn to get along with him too,” Aang teased good-naturedly. “Not that he’s taught me anything yet.”

“Toph and I have sort of been taking up most of your time,” Katara admitted.

“No kidding, I’m exhausted... Besides, I’m not too eager to jump back into firebending anyways.” 

Katara nodded -absentmindedly, glancing at her hands- and they lapsed into a brief silence during which she continued to consider the conversation she had overheard between Zuko and Aang. _‘I’m a fugitive of my own nation being hunted by my own blood’._ Of course, Katara knew this, they all did, but something about hearing the pain in Zuko’s voice as he said it aloud caused her to reflect on his situation in ways she had not before.

His family had turned on him despite all the Prince had done to serve the Fire Nation. One failure at the North Pole and the Fire Lord had ordered his daughter to kill his son? It was beyond twisted. 

Zuko had once represented everything wrong in Katara’s world. The face of the enemy; the armor he wore identical to that of the man who killed her mother. And yet… When he had walked past her earlier Katara had not seen a threat, she had seen a boy in torment.

Zuko had been punished enough. Maybe it was time she tried to extend a peace pipe. _If only so he won’t ditch us before properly teaching Aang firebending,_ Katara told herself. 

“What are you doing over here, Twinkle Toes? Sugar Queen?” 

Katara shut her eyes at the sound of Toph’s voice. She didn’t need to look to know the earthbender likely stood behind them, arm’s crossed. She was trying to get along with the new team member, she really was. For the most part she was actually enjoying Toph’s company, but did the girl have to be so _stubborn?_ They had bickered almost constantly since the day they met. It was exhausting. 

“Just appreciating the lake --it’s so peaceful here,” Aang said.

“Well, I’m glad you enjoyed it while you could. We need to move. Now.”

Katara glanced over her shoulder at her, sensing the urgency, but knowing that if they were in immediate danger Sokka would have joined Toph in collecting her and Aang from the lakeside. “Why, what’s wrong?” 

“I felt some movement nearby a little while ago, so I convinced Snoozles to come check it out with me.”

“You did _what?!_ Why didn’t you tell us you were going? I can’t bel-”

Toph held up a hand and the words ‘dangerous’ and ‘irresponsible’ died on Katara’s tongue, which only infuriated her more. “It’s fine, we made it back alive and in one piece, but we found a troop of Fire Nation soldiers camped nearby. We listened in for a bit and heard them talking about burning this entire forest to the ground later tonight.”

Katara blinked, stunned. Aang seemed to sense her pain and put a hand on one of her shoulders. It did little to comfort her as she glanced around her, observing the serene nature surrounding them and all of its beauty. She imagined it all turned to ash -floating through the air. It was a sharp reminder of the worst day of her life... She looked away from her friends, desperate to shake the painful memories. 

“Why would they do that?” she murmured.

Toph was surprisingly gentler when she next spoke. “They’re going to clear the land for more Fire Nation colonies, why else?” 

Sokka burst through the treeline followed closely by Appa, Zuko, and Momo --who glided to Aang immediately, seeking treats. 

“Chop, chop! We need to get a move on! What’s taking you so long?”

“Sokka! We can’t go, we have to do something to stop them,” Katara pleaded. 

“No, no, no, we have the Avatar and an exiled Fire Nation Prince with us, we _cannot_ afford to get caught up in this. It would draw too much attention to us.” Her brother shook his head, resolved. 

“He’s right,” Aang said, reluctantly mimicking Sokka’s head movements. “Iroh said he would try to get Zuko’s sister to follow him. Whether or not that’s worked she hasn’t found us yet. We need to keep laying low and going unnoticed.”

Katara tried to catch Zuko’s eyes, to see if maybe she could sway him, but he quickly looked away when he noticed her staring. She supposed that’s what she got, ignoring him all week like a child --because things were _weird._ She cursed her own immaturity.

Toph prodded Katara’s arm softly with a finger. “Sorry, Sugar Queen. At least they mentioned anyone who lived here had already been told to evacuate.”

She knew Toph meant well, but the thought of people being forced to abandon their homes to make room for Fire Nation invaders only made Katara feel worse. As they climbed aboard Appa and took to the skies, not even the wind against her face could ease the sick seizing of her stomach. 

They kept flying until the treetops --glowing silver in the moonlight- vanished, and settled shortly after that on a small plateau. Sokka was yawning as he, Aang, and Zuko unloaded their bedding. Katara noticed Toph lending a hand as well and she was grateful, though distracted as she was, she doubted she would’ve bothered to demand the girl’s help anyways. 

Katara walked to the edge of the plateau and stared in the direction they had come from, trying to calculate the distance they had put between them and the forest. A few minutes later, even as she pulled her blanket to her chin, even as she heard the breathing around her sink into the slow, steady rhythm of sleep, even then, she lay awake thinking of the forest and its people.

 _Enough. I can’t take this._ Slowly Katara peeled back her bedding and tucked her spare clothes beneath it in her place. Before she walked away she took one last look at her friends’ sleeping forms, lingering on her brother’s face. _I’ll be back before morning,_ she told them silently, more to assure herself than anything. 

She scrambled down the steep sides of the rocky cliffs and breathed a sigh of relief when she reached the bottom unnoticed. Moonlight guided her as she picked her way amongst sparse clusters of trees, retracing the kilometers Appa had flown. She had expected her heart to be frantically pounding in her chest, but instead, a steady determination guided her every move. 

With no one to talk to her thoughts slipped easily into strategy. _I’ll need a disguise in case I bump into any soldiers. I can’t risk being recognized…_

As though the universe had heard her desires she spotted a bush sprouting brilliant red berries and rushed towards it, seizing a rock from the ground and crushing the berries against it (along with some roots she dug up) until a red paste had formed. 

Katara dipped her fingers into the substance and then lightly dragged them around her face and eyes until she was confident her appearance was at least somewhat obscured. Still, she gave the area another quick scan to see what else she might use. A grin flashed across her face when she spied the slightly frayed edge of a conical straw hat peeking out from behind the very bush she had plucked the berries from. _The spirits are with me,_ Katara mused, and placed the hat upon her head, pulling the brim low over her face as she continued her trek.

It was not long after that Katara felt her nostrils sting with the acrid scent of smoke. _No! I’m too late!_ Instinctively, she broke into a sprint, rushing headlong into the forest, searching frantically for the source of the smell even as groups of animals ran past her seeking escape. 

The air grew black with fumes that clawed angrily at her throat. Katara ripped a strip of cloth from the bottom of her dress and tied it around her mouth. Unfortunately, it did nothing to shield her eyes, and tears streamed down her face, blurring her vision as she continued to run in what she hoped was the direction of the flames. 

She was so caught up in her hunt she nearly tumbled into the river, turned gold by the light of the raging fire that was rapidly approaching it, eating up everything in its path. For a moment its light and heat blinded Katara, who threw a hand across her face to shield herself. _You need to act now!_ a panicked voice inside her screamed.

Katara summoned the river’s water to her and began hurling it back onto the flames with all her strength. She did not allow herself to slow for even a moment. With whips of liquid and massive waves she lashed at the inferno, fighting with all her might to reverse the balance between what was aflame and what was not. 

It was encouraging to hear the hiss of steam when she managed to extinguish several trees, but it was just as quickly chased by the popping of sap as another part of the forest burned. The river was wide and deep, supplying plenty of fuel to the fierce waterbender, still the blaze raged on. 

Her breathing grew ragged as her entire body was rattled by hacking coughs --again and again, till her chest felt as though it too had caught fire. Her head spun from lack of oxygen. She teetered on the dangerous edge of exhaustion even as she thought: _It hasn’t spread too much yet, I can still contain this._

For a moment Katara wobbled, her arms collapsing at her sides, the water she had been about to bend splashing back into the river. She shook her head obstinately against the tunnel that threatened to close on her vision. _I can still…_

Her knees buckled and the world tilted precariously. She tried desperately to cling to consciousness, but her body submitted to a cool void --absent of maddening wildfire.

***

Zuko’s recent conversation with Aang had been ringing in his mind ever since Toph told them about the Fire Nation’s plans to destroy yet more innocent lives by incinerating an entire forest. Somewhere down the road, he could picture a kid like Aang telling a stranger about how they had lost their home -just as the airbender had done that night with him- and a silent resolve stole over him. _No more._

So, when Zuko had been confident that everyone else was fast asleep he had rummaged in his bag for the Blue Spirit mask, unwrapped it slowly from the shirt that hid it and placed it carefully over his face. 

Just before he had begun his climb down the cliff he had paused, staring at Katara’s sleeping form, buried beneath her blanket. He wasn’t doing it for her, but a part of him wished he could tell her --to erase the deep line of worry he had seen fixed upon her brow that evening. 

_I should’ve known better,_ Zuko thought now as he approached the fire and caught sight of her silhouette, a dramatic figure standing before a wall of fire. 

Then he noticed her swaying... When her defense dropped, just as a blast of fire threatened to strike her, Zuko charged forward, redirecting the flame and barely managed to catch the waterbender before she hit the ground. 

He swung her into his arms marveling at how long she had managed to stand at all. It felt as though they stood in the heart of a volcano, the heat so intense it made his skin tingle unpleasantly. Yet, Katara had clearly been out there for sometime. Her face was streaked with sweat, soot and… _blood?!_

Zuko leaned closer to inspect her forehead and sighed in relief when he observed the texture of the red smudges -decidedly not blood. Katara’s eyes flew open before he could withdraw and a startled scream ripped its way from her throat. 

“Sh, sh! Katara, it’s me!” The waterbender threatened to topple out of his grasp as she twisted away from him, coughing wildly. _Stupid mask._ He lifted the Blue Spirit from his face momentarily and gave her a firm squeeze to encourage her to look again. “It’s me, it’s okay, you’re okay.”

“ _Zuko?!_ ” She stilled, her eyes widened in shock and confusion. “What are you doing here?”

“Trying to help, same as you, but we have to get you out of here, Katara.” He cast a fearful glance at the flames. 

“No, no, I can do this,” she insisted weakly, shifting against his chest as she attempted to kick her legs to the ground. “Put me down…”

Zuko hesitated, instinctively bringing her closer to him as though in doing so he could keep danger from her. Of course, he had forgotten who he was dealing with. The girl who stole from pirates and fearlessly stood down a Fire Nation Prince or anyone else who got in her way. 

“Zuko! Put. Me. Down _._ ” 

He gently bent to place her feet on solid earth, pausing for a moment so she could steady herself on his shoulders if needed, but the waterbender’s spirit had returned with an intensity that rivaled that of the flames around them. She did not so much as wobble, simply dropped into a steady stance and began to bend more water towards the fire. Zuko thought she looked rather like a vengeful spirit with her hat, runny, red markings, and blue eyes shining with resolve. 

“Wait,” he tugged at her shoulder and she paused to look at him. “I’ll try to condense the flames. Throw the water at them when I’ve got them as compact as they’ll go.”

She nodded sharply in agreement and watched tensely as he bent a segment of the blaze into a tight circle. 

Katara’s attacks were much more impactful sent towards a specific target. While she extinguished the small sectors he created, Zuko worked to hold the remainder of the flames back. Theirs was a beautiful and dangerous dance, a rhythm of life or death, not unlike when they had fought before. Zuko was in awe at what they accomplished now that they were combining their energies instead of turning them against one another. 

Progress was slow and laborious. At first it felt as though for every meter they managed to put out several more took its place, but finally all that remained were dim embers. Zuko removed his mask and wiped sweat from his brow, panting. “I think we got it all.”

He studied the faintly glowing radius of the defeated inferno. It was incredibly wide, its boundaries marked by the charred remains of forest and scorched earth. He glanced at Katara, who had plopped herself down on a small patch of unburnt grass. “What were you _thinking?_ ”

She glared at him, but it lacked the usual strength, perhaps because all her energy had been expended battling the fire. “All this nature they were going to incinerate… And Toph said that people had been forced to evacuate their homes… I just hope we managed to save them.” She shrugged sadly. “Maybe it was a bit foolish. They’ll probably just try again tomorrow.”

“Maybe... or maybe they’ve moved on for the time being and those people will have more time in their homes if they come back tomorrow. Maybe you’ll give them some hope…” Zuko wanted to tell her how amazing he found her. How brave. But their partnership was done for the time being and already the present was beginning to ground itself in the context of a complicated past once more. She’d been so cold to him all week... He was afraid to say anything more and have her retreat back into stony silence. 

“Zuko, I couldn’t have done it without you... Thank you.” 

The genuine warmth in her voice made him lift his eyes to hers. Their gaze held for a moment before she turned away to cough into her arm. When the coughing worsened Zuko moved to kneel beside her in concern. “Are you okay? You were in the smoke for so long…”

“So...were...you,” she responded, each word marked by a violent hack.

Zuko shook his head, “I’m a firebender -I expelled it all.”

Katara struggled to draw air into her lungs, her breath hitching as she inhaled. 

“We need to get out of here in case the soldiers _are_ nearby and notice the forest has stopped burning.” Zuko glanced at the sky, beginning to pinken with the approaching dawn. “And before anyone at camp notices we’re gone.” 

His eyes went back to Katara who had a dizzy look in her eyes. “Will you please let me help you? I know you’re strong, I know you can make it, but…” He offered her a small smile. “It’ll be a lot faster if I help you.”

She really was one of the most headstrong people he had ever encountered. The waterbender considered him for a long moment --as though she were about to challenge him to a race back to camp- before she finally consented to his offer to assist, nodding.

Katara fidgeted in surprise when Zuko scooped her back into his arms. She seemed to want to kick her legs and resist, but eventually resigned herself to the position, hesitating briefly, before slowly placing her arms about his neck to brace herself. 

“Is this okay?” Zuko asked, sensing her discomfort. 

“Yeah, it’s fine…” She gave him a slight smile of assurance. 

As he walked the proximity of her face reminded Zuko of Oma and Shu’s tomb. Her breath on his cheek sent shivers down his spine. It was all he could do to resist the urge to look down at her --to stare straight ahead and continue marching back to the group. 

“So… I recognize that mask. Where have I seen it?” Katara tapped the blue wood sitting atop his head with one finger.

“Uhh… You might have seen it in the Fire Nation alongside your own wanted posters.”

Her laughter ignited something inside of him that made his breath catch in his chest. He hid the hitch with a small cough even though the smoke had not affected him. 

“That’s right! The Blue Spirit! _You’re_ the Blue Spirit?!” she asked incredulously. “But the posters said he was wanted for helping the Avatar escape!”

Zuko smiled sheepishly. “Yeah, um, that was me.”

She frowned in concentration then gasped. “I can’t believe he didn’t tell us --that is _so_ Aang- ugh. _Of course_ he asked you to join us. You rescued him before, but... why?”

Zuko spotted the plateau on the horizon. Though his arms were beginning to ache he almost wished they had further to go. He enjoyed her weight, a pleasant burden. 

He sighed, reflecting on the past with shame, before finally replying. “It wasn’t an unselfish act. Zhao was going to bring Aang to my father --I couldn’t let him do that. The Avatar was meant to be how I restored my honor. How I reversed my banishment.”

Katara studied him and for a moment he tensed, fearing her response. “I’m sorry, Zuko.”

 _I’m sorry?_ It was the last thing he had expected her to say. “What?”

“I’m sorry... I haven’t been very welcoming to you. It’s been hard to reset my mindset, but... I do see how you’ve suffered. In different ways yes, but still, you have. I can see now that you’re a victim too. Just like the rest of us.”

Zuko halted abruptly. “No, Katara, no…” He lowered her to the ground, feeling her absence almost instantly, like a light had gone out inside of him, but he knew this was the honorable thing. He did not deserve her kindness anymore than he deserved Aang’s pity. “I’m responsible for all the bad that’s been done to you guys. Your families.”

“The Fire Nation is.”

“I _am_ Fire Nation!” He gestured wildly at his scar. “Whether they want me dead or not… I can’t erase where I come from. What I’ve done…”

Unconcerned by his distressed tone, Katara peered intently at Zuko as she took a step closer. Her hand slowly reached towards his cheek, pausing midair in question. When he did not move she gently laid her palm upon his scar, glancing briefly at where the other one lay beneath his shirt. He closed his eyes at her touch -such a foreign sensation- but did not pull away. 

“I’ll admit it: I hated you,” she said gently. “I mean, you chased us all around the world throwing fire at us and trying to kidnap my friend --you were the worst, and you still have a lot of making up to do. But... I’m realizing it’s not fair of me to blame you for _everything_ the Fire Nation has done --not when most of this started before you were even born… And you can change --you _are_ changing. ”

 _‘Do not be afraid of change,’_ his uncle had said. _‘It is as much a part of life as breathing, and just as necessary in order to heal._ He opened his eyes, swimming in blue, her hand still pressed against his marred cheek. 

“Zuko, you’re right, you can’t pretend like the past didn’t happen, and it’d be wrong to do so.” Her voice was soft, serious. “You did bad things, yes, and bad things were done to you. But you have been given a second-chance. It’s probably a bit daunting, but believe it or not, you _can_ be a part of fixing this world. You can help the Avatar restore balance or... You can continue moping about what’s been said and done. Choice is yours.”

Her hand lifted from his face abruptly, the ghost of it lingering on his skin in a slight heat. “My uncle would like you,” he told her quietly, searching her eyes in disbelief. Was it a trick? Was she going to turn on him any minute and tell him to get lost? That he could never earn forgiveness? Not from his family and not from her or any of her friends? It was all he had ever known, and he waited for that twist --the pain he had become so accustomed to receiving- but Katara simply turned and continued towards the plateau. 

They stopped once again when they reached a stream to wash their faces of red dye and ash, but still managed to carefully sneak back into their beds just before Sokka began stirring, yawning loudly to the dawn. 

Zuko found himself stealing glances at Katara, still unsure if he had dreamed what she had said. Still unsure if he could do as she and Uncle suggested… Perhaps in some ways it did feel safer to linger in self-hatred than to tackle trying to mend all that the Fire Nation had done --another mission set before him that he felt certain he would fail. She had been right: it was daunting, maybe even terrifying, to contemplate. 

Aang approached Katara, smiling sleepily. “Good morning!” His nose wrinkled dramatically. “Bleh, you smell like campfire.”

Zuko and Katara shared a secret smile that quickly faded when Toph asked, loudly, “Sleep well, Sparky? Sugar Queen?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angsty Zuko and some Blue Spirit + Painted Lady action? I hope I did it justice. The firefighting scene felt very cathartic to write since the world is currently battling some pretty serious wildfires... So maybe this was a more self-indulgent chapter? After multiple rounds of intense editing sessions I couldn't stare at this chapter another minute, so I'm still not sure how I feel about it, but definitely wanted to get it out there, sorry if it's at all disappointing.  
> Regardless, a sincere thanks to the readers, commenters, and kudos-givers of previous chapters and I hope this one delivered in some way shape or form and that you will continue to follow along <3  
> Give me your thoughts and feelings if you feel so inclined! Please know that I will be taking a brief break to focus on work and some original characters of mine for a bit, but should have the next update the week of 9/14!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back after a break last week! As a heads up going forward I think I'll be doing updates every other week :(  
> Work (and life) have been busy lately and the additional week should hopefully give me more time to edit before posting.  
> As always thank you so much for your support! Not sure if I've said this before or not, but I'm on tumblr at zukos-calming-tea and if you have any content of your own (or just want to say hi) I am always looking for more ATLA art, fics, and general fandom joy to share in <3

To Zuko’s amusement Katara was swaying like the flame of a candle, flickering in and out of wakefulness. Not even the crisp morning air that blasted their faces as Appa raced through the sky could keep her eyes from occasionally gliding shut, though it was not long before she jerked upright again, blinking rapidly. 

Less amusing was the presence at his shoulder: a particularly nosy earthbender whose sightless eyes bore into him with remarkable intensity. Toph had been tracking him all morning. It would seem she expected something from him and he was impressed by her ability to apply unspoken pressure. Her ‘stare’ was beginning to wear on him, its effect similar to the warning glares Katara had shot him on his first day with the group. 

“Toph?” Zuko finally asked, turning from his observations of Katara somewhat reluctantly. “Can I help you with something?”

She smiled slyly and knocked his arm with her elbow. “Oh, what do you think, Sparky? Anything I should know about?”

“Sparky?” 

“Don’t change the subject,” she frowned. “What were you doing with Sugar Queen last night?”

Zuko caught himself before his hand was more than halfway to the girl’s ridiculously loud mouth. He checked quickly to see if Sokka or Aang had taken notice of her question, before mumbling, “Toph, Toph, let’s keep this conversation quiet, uh... Katara is sleeping.” 

It was true, she had drifted off again, her jaw hanging loosely, her head tilting an impossible angle backwards. Zuko’s neck hurt just looking at her. _Someone ought to get her a pillow…_ but he knew it would only attract more attention to her unusual sleepiness if he did so, nevermind the fact that he was certain she would bat him away, insisting she was awake.

“Zuko…” Toph had clearly been trying to get his attention, she rolled her eyes when he returned his gaze to her. 

“Toph…”

“Sparky, just be straight with me. I don’t need earth beneath my feet right now to tell me you’re hiding something.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Zuko didn’t want to be the one to reveal anything. Not when Katara had clearly been wanting to conceal the truth from the others. She had laughed off Aang’s comment about her peculiar smoky scent that morning by saying she was overdue to wash some of her clothes. Zuko refused to betray her trust --if he could call it that. Her faith in him still seemed uncertain, though far better than it had been a week ago.

“Oh spirits, you’re the worst liar I’ve ever met.”

“My sister inherited all that skill.” Zuko shook his head in surprise at his own casual comment. _Maybe I’m a bit tired today too…_ It was an unusual lapse in the careful guard he kept around any mention of his difficult past --the shouting at Aang the night before was a prime example of why he avoided the delicate subject. 

Toph however, seemed uninterested in this detail. “Where did you guys go last night?” she insisted quietly, leaning her head closer to his.

Zuko sighed heavily, glancing from Sokka -fiddling with his boomerang- to Aang, cheerfully chatting at Appa. 

“I promise your secret is safe with me.”

The hat Katara had worn while fighting the fire rested in Zuko’s lap. He picked at the straw, wishing it were not so windy atop Appa. The sun was shining brightly and he wanted to use the hat for protection from its light. Despite being born and raised in the Fire Nation his skin was remarkably sensitive. Already he could feel it reddening -especially his scalp, where hair had not yet grown thick enough to shield it. 

Toph ripped the hat out of his hands. “Quit fiddling! Fine… If you won’t tell me I’ll wake Katara. Kata-”

“No, wait!” Zuko cast a quick glance at the waterbender, but her eyes remained closed, a soft snore escaping her throat. “Look, we snuck away to take care of some things, it was no big deal.”

But the earthbender’s eyebrows shot up faster than Momo’s eyes widened at the sight of a tasty grub. “Take care of some _things?_ Does Aang know?”

“No, please, don’t say anything. It doesn’t seem like Katara wants to tell him.”

“I _knew_ there was something going on between you guys! My feet were practically vibrating with how fast your hearts were beating after you strolled out of the tunnels the day I met you.”

Zuko cocked his head quizzically. “Wait, what are you saying?”

“It’s okay, Sparky. A promise is a promise -your secret is safe with me, and I am a far better liar than you. Still, I’m just surprised Aang hasn’t noticed. Or Sokka.”

_What is she talking about?_ “Noticed…?”  
Toph snorted. “Please, I mean I’m blind and I could tell. You and Sugar Queen have got it _bad_ for each other.”

“Got what?”

“I thought we agreed you just need to give up on lying? Got -you know...” Toph gestured loosely then pursed her lips and emitted a few quick smooching noises. 

Zuko could not have been more grateful for two things: One, that Katara was still sleeping. Two, that Toph could not see the absolute furious shade of pink he felt himself turning. “You’ve got it totally wrong, no, no that’s not it --we snuck away to put out a fire!”

“Right, right, gotta get all the kisses in while you can, I’m sure it’s hard during the day when your passion burns so intensely and Aang’s right there just totally oblivious and chasing after Sugar Queen. Poor guy… I get why Katara doesn’t want to tell him yet.”

“Toph, no!” Zuko whispered frantically. “ _Actual fire._ We went back to the forest. We stopped the soldiers from burning it all down.”

He felt that it was now Toph’s turn to blush, but instead the girl shrugged with a casualness that left Zuko sputtering to try and explain further. She interrupted at his third failed effort at starting a proper sentence. “Okay, okay, so you went to go stop some Fire Nation baddies last night. I standby my earlier statement. There’s something between you two. Just wait. You’ll figure it out.”

Zuko wanted to deny it, but even as he shook his head, he found his eyes landing on the waterbender, as they often did. It didn’t matter though. Whatever he felt --and he still wasn’t entirely certain what that was- what Toph spoke of couldn’t happen, and not just because he doubted Katara would ever reciprocate those emotions. 

_‘You still have a lot of making up to do…’_ Katara had said, and Zuko wanted so desperately to do just that. He was no longer the Avatar’s enemy, yes, but he still had much to prove as an ally. How could he help Aang restore balance if he turned the boy against him by pursuing any sort of feelings for Katara? It was obvious the airbender was infatuated with her. No, nothing could happen. 

Zuko turned back to Toph with fresh resolve. “There’s nothing to figure out... “ he repeated to her. 

“Whatever you say,” she said, though Zuko caught her muttering, “Seriously, worst liar, ever,” under her breath as she crawled away from him and towards Sokka. 

Minutes later the familiar sounds of what Zuko now recognized as their good-natured bickering woke Katara from her brief rest. Zuko made a point of intently tracing the weaving of his hat with his eyes, avoiding the urge to meet her eyes when she had finished rubbing sleep from them.

“How long was I out for?” she asked quietly, stretching her leg out to tap his knee with her toe and get his attention. _Like she didn’t already have it…_

“Not too long. I don’t think anyone has noticed…” Her brow furrowed skeptically. _Am I really that bad at lying?_ “Alright, so, uh, Toph may have noticed.”

Katara shot an alarmed look at the earthbender who had now dragged Aang into a conversation with Sokka about the fine art of professional earthbending at something called Earth Rumble. Both boys were hanging on her every word as she described the competition and boasted about her success in it. 

“She promised she wouldn’t tell.” 

Despite Zuko’s assurances Katara still scowled, though he could not tell if it was out of concern for Toph or because she was beginning to cough in earnest again. Tears streamed down her face from the effort and she clutched at her sides, wincing.

The others had not overheard yet, so Zuko slid over to sit beside Katara, patting her back awkwardly, helplessly. “The cough is back?” he asked, removing his hand when she shot him a warning glare. 

Sweat beaded on her ashen forehead and she had no breath to answer him for a moment. When she did reply, her voice was hoarse. “I’m fine, stop fussing, you’ll attract attention.” 

“Katara, if you have particles in your lungs from the smoke…” 

The waterbender held up a hand and shook her head even as she struggled to draw more air, an odd wheezing sound coming from her throat. 

“You are the most _stubborn, ridiculous, insane..._ ” Zuko recited under his breath even as he reached for a water pouch to hand to her. 

Katara accepted it and drank gratefully from it, but still the coughing continued with vengeance. 

“That’s it, enough is enough. I’m getting you help.” He didn’t say how it hurt to watch the pain she was trying so hard to hide. How he felt his own chest seize as though his lungs were injured too. 

“Sokka,” Zuko called, ignoring Katara’s sharp glower at his betrayal. “Your sister’s sick, we need to get her to a healer.”

Katara’s sibling was at her side in a second, scanning her carefully for injury, and frowning when the cough she had attempted to contain finally erupted violently. She smiled weakly at her brother, looking a bit guilty at his worry. “I’m fine, Sokka,” she croaked. 

Aang looked about ready to throw Appa’s reins to Toph, anxiously peering over his shoulder to ask, “What’s wrong? What’s happening?”  
Sokka’s expression was grim as he called back to the airbender, hand on his sister’s forehead --much to her exasperation. “Find us a village to land in, Aang. Katara’s running a fever, maybe we can find some medicine.”

No sooner had the words left his mouth when Zuko’s stomach dropped as Appa descended rapidly. His clothes dampened as they passed through thin tendrils of cloud. 

He turned back to check on Katara, but Sokka was tucking blankets about her, and he did not dare intrude. He understood the sacredness of the exchange. There had been a time where Zuko would have done the same for his own sister. Memories that felt like a dream now... 

As the ground approached Azula’s smirking face appeared in his mind, lightning dancing in her eyes as she closed in on her prey… He considered the possibility of his sister tracking them, cornering them… Suddenly the charming maze of the village rooftops Appa was flying towards seemed a menacing trap from Zuko’s perspective. 

***

“Come on, Zuko, Toph, let’s find a healer. Hang in there, Katara. Aang, look after her while we’re gone.” Sokka squeezed her hand and Katara opened her eyes briefly to nod at him before returning to her careful focus on breathing. She couldn’t believe the challenge something she had done all her life was becoming. Her throat felt how she imagined the bark of the burning trees had felt. 

She sat up, desperate for a distraction from the pain, and caught Zuko glancing back at her as the departed trio turned a corner. He wore the hat she had found last night --angled low so people could not see his distinctive scar- and it blocked all of his face but for his mouth, drawn into a deep frown. _Why is he of all people worried?_ But she knew better than that… More than ever, after their conversation the night before, she recognized how easily Zuko carried guilt --even assuming the weight of actions that he was not responsible for. She wished he were not walking away if only so she could tell him how useless that was, a waste of his energy and time.

Katara inhaled shakily, acutely aware of the tightening in her chest and scratching in her throat as she did so. It did not matter how delicate she was in this action. Her lungs had barely filled before she was emptying them again with rattling coughs. 

Aang’s was wide-eyed as he knelt beside her, resting his hand on her back as Zuko had earlier, but with far less hesitation in his touch. “How long have you been feeling sick? Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I didn’t...want… to make us….. stop,” Katara managed to say, looking around the area they had settled in just outside the village. Appa was barely concealed by the speckled shadows of the tree canopy. Had the walls of the closest cluster of buildings had windows on them a curious face could peer out and potentially spot the undeniable mass of fur that was the Avatar’s sky-bison. Then what? She was putting them all in danger with this stay --Aang and Zuko especially.

She found herself wishing she could have checked the suredness of Zuko’s disguise before he walked off with Toph and Sokka. _Azula could have eyes anywhere…_

A cool pressure was applied to her forehead, a relief Katara had not realized she had been wanting. Aang’s hand quickly darted to her cheek to wipe a wandering bead of water from it as he continued to hold the damp rag up to her. 

“Thanks, Aang.” Katara smiled at the air bender and gently pushed his hand aside with her own, shifting the rag from her head to the insides of her wrists. Anything to try and relieve her increasing feverishness. 

“Is that helping? Should I get some more water?” He began reaching for a flask before she could respond, but stiffened suddenly, squinting at the leaves of a tree branch.

“Aang, what is it? What do you see?” Katara’s heart did a somersault. _Fire Nation?_ Her fingers stretched for the cap of the skin of water tied at her hip even as she cleared a block in her throat, cursing the loudness of the action. 

She watched as Aang grabbed his glider, still intent on the tree branch, and abruptly swung the tool, sending a huge gust of air towards whatever mystery he had spied. The tree was left nearly bare as leaves were sent flying, suspended comically for a moment by the force of the wind Aang had summoned, before spinning back to earth like little spirits from the stories Gran Gran had told when Katara was younger.

Also falling to earth, far less gracefully, was a twist of long limbs from which many a curse was loudly emerging. Something about the voice was familiar to Katara. Or perhaps it was the fever wrapping further around her mind... _It can’t be._

Aang was standing on the opposite side of Appa’s saddle from her. His hands hung deceptively at his side as he glared down at the fallen stranger. It was his fingers that gave him away, twitching, as they prepared to bend air at a moment’s notice.

All too aware that fighting would be near-impossible in her current state Katara was relieved when she saw the monk’s shoulders drop and his head tilt inquisitively. “ _Jet?”_

_Spirits, it’s_ not _the fever._ He wore different clothes -his usual blues and reds replaced with dark brown pants that barely reached his ankles and a green shirt that was also clearly too small for him- but the smirk was instantly recognizable. 

Katara’s eyes narrowed as she steadied herself on Appa’s saddle, preparing to stand and hurl as much water (and insults) as she could at the _slimy, stupid, dangerous, misguided_ rebel. 

To her great frustration she had barely lifted her torso away from the saddle when she collapsed again, doubling over and coughing forcibly, a wave of dizziness surging through her. 

“Aang? Katara?” She heard Jet call from her compromised position. “What are you guys doing here? Where’s Sokka?” He paused, hearing her wheezing. “You okay, Katara? Did I take your breath away?” 

Katara pondered how it was possible for his laugh to be so disarming and irritating at the same time. _Just like him not realize the full situation,_ she thought darkly, recalling the precipitous and controversial behavior that had led to their sudden departure from the Freedom Fighters.

“She’s sick,” Aang explained, rushing to Katara’s side with the water he had promised earlier. “What are _you_ doing here? What were you doing in that tree? I thought you were a Fire Nation spy!”

Katara raised her head in time to see Jet, staring at her with both regret and concern, having walked to the side of Appa she was resting on. “I’ve been leaving signs for Longshot and Smellerbee. We got separated awhile back, but until recently I haven’t been well enough to search for them. I was hoping they might find me first… I’m sorry for joking, Katara --I didn’t see how unwell you look.”

Katara decided he wasn’t worth the breath it would take to respond, but Aang was less inclined to ignore him. “You said you weren’t well enough to search for them… Did something happen? How long have you been here? Did you receive care from someone in the village? Please, Katara really does need help.”

She didn’t like being spoken for, but as Katara glared at the _stupid, dumb_ piece of wheat dangling from Jet’s mouth and observed the tip of it shimmering like a star, she decided perhaps it was best Aang was taking the lead in this particular moment. She glanced at her Avatar friend and laughed --the sound catching in her swollen throat- as the arrow on his head wiggled. _Like a little catterworm,_ she thought loosely. 

“I was injured pretty badly on a recent mission. I got separated from the others and wandered into this village. I barely remember finding it. Next thing I knew I was waking up with two old ladies looking after me. They saved my life.” Jet’s eyebrow raised at Katara’s expression and she smiled crookedly...because it was about to fly off his face. _How odd._ “I’ll take you to them, they’ll help her too.”

Aang wasted no time lifting Katara carefully into his arms and airbending them both down gently to the ground. He turned to Appa and Momo. “Okay, guys, hide yourselves. We’ll be back, hopefully soon --stay safe.” 

Appa’s low moan in response sounded to Katara like Gran Gran’s snoring and she giggled. “Gran Gran,” she said, insensibly, to Aang, whose Arrow was now _swirling_ much to her delirious amusement. “I didn’t know it could do that, Avatar!” She coughed into her elbow before stretching a hand out to trace the spiral with her finger, laughing when red flowers appeared on the boy’s cheeks. 

“Okay, let’s go… This way,” Jet quickly turned from his study of her and began leading them into the village.

The fever took over, delivering Katara from the pain in her lungs, and soon lulling her back to a deep sleep, but it was not a peaceful one...

_She dreamed many things. Of starlit tunnels, raising mountains, and a quiet place under a tree. A tragic place that had once been joyful and safe. Fate had turned it into a space of loss and longing._

_She dreamed of the fires, only this time, the masked-boy did not come to help her. Her throat was raw from screaming and yet each time she called out there was no sound. Just the ruthless whispers of the flames._

_She dreamed of the tunnels, only this time, she was alone. The spirits did not speak to her, and she turned and turned looking for a way out of the dark until she was swallowed by it._

_She dreamed of the river, only this time, she had no spirit water, and she watched helplessly as he slipped away --too late to save him from the lightning’s fatal touch._

***

Every set of eyes that turned their way made Zuko flinch. His mind kept playing tricks on him, convincing him that it was Azula’s face glancing at him from the stall selling fruit, from the entrance of a tailor’s store… In his anxious state he did not turn in time to avoid crashing into a cart in his path --much to the cabbage merchant’s despair, whose wares tumbled onto the dusty road and in every direction. He appeared not to hear Zuko’s mumbled apology as he staggered away back to Toph and Sokka.

“Watch where you’re going, Sparky.” Toph shook her head. “You’re the one whose told us about a dozen times not to draw too much attention.”

“She’s got a point, Zuko, calm down a little. You look like you’re seeing ghosts.” 

Zuko sighed as Sokka turned away to ask a chirpy girl carrying several large bags of groceries if she might be able to tell them where to find a healer. They had asked several people since entering the village, but many had been unwilling to point them in a particular direction. It was odd, but worried as Zuko was about Katara he did not bother to contemplate it for too long. 

He reached to tap the shoulder of a mother passing by with her son, directing his attention to the ground so his hat would shield his face. 

“Please, is there a healer in this village? My friend really needs the attention of one...”

From beneath the brim of straw Zuko saw the woman cast a sad look at Toph, standing just behind him, and shake her head. “There is an odd pair of women who live just outside the village… Most folk here are very devout and too superstitious of their powers and the nature of their relationship to go and see them, but I’m really not sure even they could help your friend. I’m so sorry, young man.”

Toph released an insulted huff and Zuko thought he heard her mutter, ‘ _Like I need a healer’s help… You’re going to need a healer’s help…’_ Nervously he spoke up again before Toph could respond in earnest to the woman’s assumption, “We have no prejudices to get in our way. We’re not superstitious, we’re desperate. Please, where can we find these women?”

The mother placed a hand on her son’s head smiling before replying softly, “They helped me when I was pregnant with Lee. Something had gone horribly wrong and if it weren’t for them I probably would’ve died… I hope they can help you with whatever you need. Head East from here. They’ll be in the hut by the pond.”

Zuko bowed his head as Toph grabbed Sokka by the sleeve. “Thank you,” he told the woman breathlessly, already ready to race there and carry the healers on his back all the way back to Katara. As it was, he easily outpaced Toph and Sokka, his long legs carrying him with increasing speed out of the village. 

They spotted the pond first, the surface of the water patterned with waterlilies upon whose pads small frogs were scattered. Nestled amongst some tall grass was the hut --a white cat staring from one of its open windows. 

The door was open, so Zuko did not bother to waste time knocking. Though daylight filtered in behind him it took time before his eyes adjusted to the dim light of the interior. Toph on the other hand was quick to place a hand on his arm, quieting him. “You can stop freaking out now,” she assured him in a low voice, careful not to let Sokka overhear. “She’s here already.”

“What? How?” Zuko marched into the closest room, calling for Aang and Katara, but it was an amused elderly woman with a neat bun of grey hair and a smug smile that he discovered. 

“Zuko, she’s my sister -I’m the one who should be behaving like a maniac! No one is going to want to help us with how insane you’re being!” He heard Sokka shout.

“Shh, you’re alright, dear,” the woman told Zuko with a wave of her hand. “I’m Yurai. Your friends showed up just a few minutes ago. I was just retrieving some herbs.”

Zuko nodded, observing the odd assortment of plants -and organs- arranged neatly in glass jars on the shelves behind her. “Is she going to be okay?” he asked Yurai, daring to meet her eyes. 

The woman seemed to take no notice of his scar as she reached for his wrist, flipping his arm so that the veins of it faced her. He tried not to shiver as her long nails lightly traced the blue and purple webs. He found himself holding his breath, unnerved at the casualness of her invasive touch. Her intense gaze softened at something she saw and she dropped his wrist. 

“You’ve found each other again. All will be well.”

Zuko didn’t care for the riddles, but he followed as Yurai exited the room and returned to the entryway. He could hear Sokka and Toph speaking behind the wall of a different space along with another voice he did not recognize. The volume of the conversation took a sharp increase and to Zuko’s surprise it was Aang he heard cut through all the shouting to reprimand, “This is no time to discuss this, get quiet or get out!”

Yurai shrugged at Zuko’s questioning look, gesturing for him to enter first. As he ducked beneath the low archway his chest seized, spotting Katara lying on a cot. Her skin was gray and clammy, her breathing shallow and raspy, and beside her stood another old woman with eyes the color of steel. They had a similarly cutting effect when they landed on Zuko, but warmed as they took in Yurai behind him. 

“Come my love, that medicine is desperately needed or I will not get the chance to do my work. The infection is strong.”

“But she will live, Hama?” Yurai asked, brushing Zuko’s shoulder as she moved towards Katara. 

The other woman glanced warily at her patient’s visitors. “Yes, I believe so. As I said, the infection is strong, but,” her lips lifted slightly as she looked down at the waterbender, “so is she.”

“Infection?” Zuko asked, surprised to find his voice at all. All that seemed to matter in the world was Katara, how the Fire Nation --his nation- had managed to cause her yet more pain, more suffering. The night before replayed in his head, moments where maybe he could have done something, _anything_ different to prevent this outcome. 

“A nasty one in her lungs. Yurai’s medicine will help to keep it at bay for now and I will work to reduce what damage I can with my own abilities, but I will be unable to do anything till the moon is full in the sky tomorrow.” Hama frowned. “Your friend will have to hold on until then.”

“Leave us to our work,” Yurai told them, glancing around the room. “You can come back later. We need space to work.”

Aang nodded and herded everyone towards the door, but Zuko hesitated, eyes locked on Katara’s still form. _What needs to wait for the full moon?_ he wondered. 

“Zuko,” Aang called. “We can trust them. Yurai helped me once before when Sokka and Katara were _both_ sick and Hama is her wife. We have to let them do what they need to… I don’t like it either.”

Yurai winked at the airbender. “I never expected the Avatar to visit me in my home, and yet, you have found me again. Listen to him, young spirit,” she told Zuko, and he reluctantly turned his back to Katara as the herbalist began placing star-shaped leaves into her mouth.

It was a moment before Zuko found himself capable of reengaging with his surroundings, though the image of a sickly Katara remained a shadow haunting his mind. When he did look up, reaching to remove his hat, it was to his great shock that he at last spotted the stranger in their midst. 

“Who are you?” he asked of the tall boy with the sharp face, fighting the temptation to also question the odd choice of accessory dangling from his mouth. 

The boy reached his hand out, but Sokka stepped between him and Zuko with a growl. “I think it’s time you leave, Jet. Thanks for the help. It _almost_ makes up for the fact that you’re a total lunatic.”

“Sokka, I’m sorry about how we left things. If you’d just give me a chance to explain-”

“I’m really not in the mood, Jet.” Sokka’s gaze landed on the entry to Katara’s room and for the first time Zuko noticed the pain in his eyes feeling like a fool for his own behavior when Katara’s very own sibling was trying to be as calm and rational as possible in an extremely difficult situation. He felt that perhaps Katara did not always give her brother the credit he deserved --Sokka _was_ mature, he just balanced it with the light-heartedness of someone still too young for the life destiny had handed him. 

“Jet told me about what he’s been through since we last saw him,” Aang said quietly. “We gave Zuko a chance. He deserves one too.”

“You’re Zuko?” Jet raised an eyebrow at the firebender. 

Zuko nodded.

“And I’m Toph… You know, just to round this all out.” The earthbender had placed herself on the floor of the hut with one hand against the stone walls. “Katara has got to teach me how she manages to collect all these boyfriends…”

Sokka rolled his eyes as Zuko, Aang, and Jet all sheepishly scratched at the back of their heads, eyes to the floor. “Toph, please, my sister can do way better than this idiot.”

She shrugged. “I don’t disagree, Snoozles, but you gotta remember I can basically read minds. At least he cares about her. That part is pretty obvious.”

Zuko watched as Aang’s eyes darted to Jet. He did not envy the other boy. It was clear the Avatar would no longer be defending his right to remain in the hut while Katara was being looked after. He was grateful Aang had not appeared to even consider Zuko after Toph’s comment. 

“I do care about her,” Jet said boldly, replying to the Avatar’s jealous glare with a scowl of his own. “After you guys left the Freedom Fighters I couldn’t stop thinking about what she said… I wish you had stayed, so she could see the changes I’ve made to our strategies against the Fire Nation. It’s not the way it was.”

It was pretty clear that no one in the group had any intention of telling Jet exactly who Zuko was and where he had come from. This was obviously for the best since Jet’s tone carried a venom to it when he spoke of the Fire Nation that made Zuko instinctively step away from him. 

“Fine, stay. I don’t care.” Sokka moved to sit beside Toph. Now that there was nothing more he could actively do to help his sister, life had seemed to drain from his face, his pallor matching that of the sick girl’s in the next room. His shoulders sagged as Toph placed her hand on his knee sympathetically. 

It was eerily quiet as everyone settled in to wait for Hama and Yurai to reemerge with news. When it was clear that it would be some time before any updates were delivered, Aang excused himself to go whistle for Appa and Momo to fly to the relative safety of the hut. If Azula’s forces were nearby the forest offered no more protection than the removed land of the healers’ home, but at least they would be closeby should a need to escape arise. 

Having had no more sleep the night before than Katara, Zuko found his eyes fluttering besides himself. When at last he was swept into the realm of dreams it was to find himself on Ember Island once more…

_This time he was not as content. A nagging feeling ate at his stomach. The sand seemed to burn his feet where before it had comforted him. Sweat ran into his eyes as the sun beat down upon him. The ocean was remarkably still._

_Something was missing… His heart ached, and though he couldn’t place precisely why, he sensed it had something to do with why the expanse of water beside him was nearly lifeless._

_He followed footsteps etched onto the shore, chasing their owner, but the further he walked the more faded they became, until, much to his devastation, they had almost disappeared entirely._

_The sky turned suddenly a dark grey. Clouds blocked out the sun and a shiver ran down Zuko’s spine._

_Blue lighting appeared along the horizon. Tendrils of electric energy reached for him. How many times had he seen deadly bolts dancing as they did now? Enough to know that exposed as he was now, they would find him, as destruction always seemed to... In the stroke of a sword, in the flash of the storm... In this life, and in the many before..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some familiar faces ;) Thanks so much for reading -I hope you enjoyed the chapter! I always look forward to hearing your thoughts so drop a comment if ya feel like it!


	6. Chapter 6

The first thing Katara saw when she opened her eyes made her think she was still hallucinating. Vision or not, seeing him instantly soothed something inside of her she had not known was hurting until that moment. 

Even in sleep Zuko’s face seemed haunted, muscles tightening and twitching as though he were in an argument with someone she could not see. On his lap, a white cat was purring as though to chase the demons away. The plump creature seemed to notice her staring and abruptly leapt from the firebender’s lap, tail flicking, as it strode from the room with purpose.

Katara slowly relaxed as she let her eyes wander over the smooth, stone walls of a tidy, unremarkable room. Her surroundings gave her no clues about where she was, but she did spot Sokka leaning against the wall closest to her bed and snoring softly. For the time being they had to be safe… Beside her brother was Toph, her head resting on his shoulder, and Aang’s resting on hers. Jet was nowhere to be seen --had that been her imagination after all? 

Her mind wandered, reflecting on their history with Jet, wondering what had led him to the Earth Kingdom... Recalling the force of the Freedom Fighter’s hatred for the Fire Nation, her gaze settled on that same nation’s prince once again. 

As though he could sense her stare Zuko woke from his restless dreams. “You’re awake,” he murmured drowsily, his brows pressed together in concern, but his lips betraying him with a small smile.

Katara was entertained by the contradictions playing on his face, but the weight she felt pressing on her chest quickly made her own expression contort to one of discomfort. For the time being she felt that the fever was gone, but experience told her it could return again before too long and the rattling as she inhaled let her know that her healing was far from over. 

“Where are we?” she whispered to Zuko. 

“Your, um, friend --Jet... He led you and Aang here. You’re being looked after by two specialists named Yurai and Hama. Yurai works with herbs, but Hama I haven’t quite figured out.” He frowned in consideration for a moment and when she said nothing continued. “She said something about needing the full moon before she could do what she needed to to help you. So maybe she’s a witch,” Zuko joked. “The people in the village seem to think so anyways… Barely any of them will dare approach this place even though Hama and Yurai are clearly skilled. Pretty discriminatory group, I guess. Reminds me of the way a lot of places are in the Fire Nation… Not that I think that way! I don’t. Uncle made sure I was taught better than that and…” He paused seeing her expression. “Sorry, I’m rambling.”

Katara laughed, wincing at the pain that the action caused. “Yes, you are. It’s very out of character for you.”

The candlelight highlighted the serious lines on his face. “Katara, I was really worried… I still am.”

“I should’ve been more careful. I was just so focused on the fire… And now my stubbornness has put you and Aang more at risk --keeping us all in one place when we should be putting more distance between us and the enemy and less between us and Ba Sing Se.”

Zuko shook his head. “The risk is worth it, it was the right thing to do. When we were in the village looking for a healer I overheard some of the people talking about…” He trailed off, mouth tilting in amusement at a thought Katara could not read.

“About?”

“They were talking about how  _ spirits _ saved their forest neighbors’ homes from incineration.” 

“Spirits,” Katara repeated, mirroring his expression. “Wow. I guess that’s as good a sign as any that we might just make a good team --even after all the time we’ve spent on different ones.”

A genuine smile floated across his face at her words, but disappeared just as quickly. “In that case, I should’ve been a better teammate. I’m so sorry you’re hurt, Katara. I didn’t realize the smoke was--”

She rolled her eyes. “What could you have done, Zuko? It was my choice to go to the forest. These are the consequences.” As though to emphasize the point her breathing hitched suddenly and she fell into a fit of coughs that made her entire body stiffen and black spots dance in her vision. 

Zuko was rising from the floor and moving to help her when the white cat returned to the room followed closely by Jet and a stern-faced woman who Katara did not recognize. The commotion woke the rest of the group who all bore similar looks of worry. 

Jet’s long legs closed the distance between himself and the bed before the strange woman could. He knelt quickly by Katara and offered her the clay cup he held. His hand lingered on hers for a moment as she accepted it. She quickly swallowed the liquid, narrowly avoiding spilling it everywhere as her coughing resumed.

“That is  _ not  _ water,” Katara croaked, grimacing at the bitterness of the beverage. 

“Sorry, should’ve warned you… It’s a tonic Yurai prepared. It should help soothe your throat for a little bit,” Jet explained. 

Katara blinked at him. The last thing she had expected was Jet detailing medical treatment to her and using words like ‘tonic’. It was remarkably…nonviolent of him. 

“Miyuki let us know you were awake,” the woman said, shooing Jet away and gently pressing Katara back into the bed until her head landed on the pillow again. 

“Miyuki?” 

“Our cat… I am Hama,” the woman touched a long finger to her own chest. “Yurai is my wife, and I hope the fever has not addled your brain so much that you do not recognize your fiercely-devoted guests?” she gestured loosely behind her at five intent stares.

Katara found her voice was mildly louder than it had been before consuming the concoction Jet had handed her, as though a blockage had cleared. “Thank you for your help,” she told Hama, then turned, smiling to the rest. “And, yes...I could never forget them.”

“Good. Now,” she spoke without removing her gaze from Katara, “breakfast is ready for the rest of you in the kitchen.”

No one moved. 

“That means get out,” Hama barked. “I need to attend to our patient without you all staring at me like a bunch of squirrel-monkeys.” 

Everyone blinked in surprise and slowly shuffled out of the room except for Sokka. He moved to sit at the end of Katara’s bed and patted her knee. With less distance between them Katara could clearly see the deep circles under his eyes. 

“You look terrible, Sokka,” Katara tried to tease, but the concern in her voice still broke through. 

Her brother gave her a small smile. “I should get you a mirror… How are you feeling?”

“Okay for now…” Katara felt Hama’s sharp stare observing them with some impatience. It reminded her of Gran Gran, watching her and Sokka chat when they should have been attending to their chores. “Go eat so Hama can take care of me and I can get better and we can get out of here.”

Sokka’s eyes darted to the older woman then back to her. “Fine… I guess I could eat.

“You can always eat,” Katara replied, trying to keep her face free of pain as Sokka chuckled and slowly rose from the bed. 

As soon as he had left the room the mask slipped from her face. Hama noticed immediately how she crumpled, clutching at her chest. 

“Brave girl,” Hama noted, her hands hovering over Katara’s body. She waved her arms in a motion Katara vaguely recognized, though in her dazed state she could not place where she knew it from. 

The fever was beginning to tug at her again, her skin feeling clammy and her eyes fighting hard to stay open. Katara felt as though gravity had increased, welding her body to the bed. A distant part of her screamed in frustration, that after a simple conversation she should be reduced to this. That her strength had been diminished so greatly, her own body failing her --and at a time where she could not afford it.

Hama had lowered her hands and wandered to the end of the bed, Miyuki following her as though led by an invisible string. She opened a chest and Katara’s eyes widened when she pulled out, not more fabric, but a large fur hide.

“Where did you get this?” she asked, her hands gliding across the downy material as Hama placed it atop her. Even the smell of it reminded her of a bed she had not slept in for many moons, surrounded by walls of ice. In the warmer climates, away from the poles and where there was more industrial material traded back and forth across shorter distances, Katara had yet to have seen anything other than silk or cotton used for bedding. 

“It will help keep the fever’s chills away.” Hama ignored her question, but Katara observed her running her own fingers across the soft surface of the fur. For the first time her eyes had softened and she seemed to be elsewhere. When at last they focused again, it was to stare, and Katara followed her gaze to her neck.

“It was my mother’s,” Katara offered, hand instinctively floating to hold the emblem that rested on her throat. 

“Was?”

Everything felt dulled by the fever. Everything except for the pain of that question. Answering it always made her heart feel as though it were made of lead and this time was no different. “She died in a Fire Nation raid when I was very young…”

“That is also how my family died,” Hama murmured, lifting her eyes from the necklace to study Katara’s bewildered expression. 

“Where did you get this fur?” Katara asked again. 

“Yurai knows how much I miss the South Pole,” the old woman said with a wistful twitch of her lips. “She found it for me during one of her travels. I had a feeling it might bring you comfort as well… You are from the Southern Water Tribe, aren’t you?”

“You too…?” Katara could barely believe it, convinced her mind was playing tricks again, but when Hama nodded her answering grin was unstoppable.“What gave us away?”

The old woman laughed in a way that made Katara think that --despite her age- she was still learning how to. “Everything about you. Your hair, your necklace, your clothes, your eyes…” Her voice darkened, “Odd then, that you should be traveling with a firebender.”

Katara did not know how to respond. It was one thing to come to the conclusion herself that Zuko was worthy of redemption --that his identity did not have to be solely wrapped in his status as a firebender and former Fire Nation ally- but how could she possibly explain the complexity of the thoughts that had led her to this verdict? How could she explain it to someone like Hama whose loved ones had died at the hands of the Fire Nation? To Jet too? 

“Aang hasn’t mastered firebending yet,” Katara finally said, choosing her words carefully. 

“You know I am not talking about the Avatar, girl,” Hama replied sharply. “Yurai has a way of knowing these things though she possesses no bending abilities herself and she made sure to inform me... The one with the scar. He is a firebender.”

“Please. I won’t apologize for what is not my fault, but I  _ will _ vouch for him. He’s helping the Avatar.”

A single icicle-thin eyebrow arched in suspicion. “Is he not the reason your lungs are infected?”

“No, I swear.” Katara watched Hama deliberate, her heart racing, fearful of what would happen if the woman --well within her rights- should decide Zuko was not permitted to stay in her household. Or worse, if she should decide Zuko needed to be sent to the proper authorities. Katara recalled General Fong’s maddening desire to use Aang as a weapon against the Fire Nation and shivered, imagining what that same level of energy would look like applied to punishing a firebender. “It’s my own fault I’m sick. I tried to put out a wildfire started by Fire Nation soldiers.”

“With your bending?” 

“Yurai told you that too? She can really tell someone’s a bender just by looking at them?” Katara asked, awed.

“Amongst other things… But this I could tell by myself.” For a moment her expression softened. “I find that even if I go many years without seeing one, a part of me always recognizes another waterbender...but... I thought I was the last one from the Southern Water Tribe.”

“I-I did too.” Katara blinked back tears, unable to find words to capture the significance of the moment.  _ I am not alone. Not alone…  _ The exhilaration she felt was akin to what she had felt the day she had discovered the Avatar was alive --that  _ hope _ was alive. 

“Katara, we have much to discuss,” Hama told her, “but you must rest. Drink this.” She held out the twin to the cup Jet had offered earlier. 

“Not another tonic?” Katara gagged at just the thought.

“Afraid so. This one should help you sleep.” 

Fortunately it tasted much better, sickly sweet and smooth in consistency. Before the fever could turn the fading figures of Miyuki and Hama into anything unnatural the medicine had already done its work. 

***

“So, how did you meet Zuko and Toph?” Jet raised another steaming spoonful of Yurai’s fragrant soup to his mouth.

Sokka turned to Toph and Aang. “Uh…”

“I’m Aang’s earthbending instructor and Zuko is my cousin.” Toph grinned, wiping her mouth with her forearm. “We were traveling to Ba Sing Se to visit relatives and bumped into these guys. How lucky is that?” 

Zuko caught Sokka glancing anxiously at Yurai to see if she had noticed the earthbender’s poor manners --no doubt thinking of the reaction his infamous ‘Gran Gran’ would have to such a display- but the woman was too caught up in a draught she was brewing to have paid them any mind.

“Yeah, very lucky,” Aang agreed. Zuko smiled quietly at the face the airbender made when he burned his tongue trying to eat too quickly. It wasn’t something he had seen very often in the Fire Nation.

“You guys don’t look related…”

“So I’ve been told... I got all of the good looks  _ and  _ the bending!” 

Zuko frowned at Toph, but remembered too late that the expression was wasted on her. He suspected the earthbender took some joy in torturing him knowing he could not respond without drawing attention from Jet. He was about to try and say something to deflect Jet’s odd stare when Hama walked into the room, carrying an empty cup to the sink and placing a light kiss on the top of Yurai’s head as she passed by. 

“How’s she doing?” Zuko shoved his soup aside, but Hama refused to face him, gazing out the window intently. 

Only when Aang repeated the question did she turn away from the gloom of the overcast sky. “Same as before, and if the sky does not clear by nightfall she will have to wait another day for further treatment. Until the moon can be seen again… ”

“A whole day?!” Aang exclaimed. 

“Are you sure there’s not anything else you can do?”

Yurai looked up from slowly stirring her concoction, eyes darting from Hama to Sokka. Something about her wife’s grumpy expression made her chuckle to herself --to which Hama sighed in response. 

“They’re doing all they can. Trust me,” Jet said. 

Sokka’s brow furrowed deeply. Zuko could tell ‘trust’ was probably the last thing the boy had for Jet, but the two elder women nodded in agreement and so anything further he had to say he kept to himself. 

“Aang, I think after breakfast we should take the day to practice your earthbending.” Toph said, ignoring the monk’s protests that followed this statement. “It’s what Katara would want. This is valuable training time, Twinkle Toes!”

Zuko made no mention of starting firebending lessons. All throughout breakfast he had listened as Jet repented for his past actions --in particular his plan to destroy a certain village to eliminate the Fire Nation soldiers camped there. At first, Sokka had refused to listen, but Jet had gone into great detail about the hardships of his past --all of which seemed tied to the Fire Nation- and how pain had guided his actions. He had promised he was not the same as he had been before... Eventually Sokka grudgingly accepted Jet’s apology. Still, Zuko was certain that while Jet was not going to put the lives’ of innocent people in danger anymore the rebel would not hesitate to strangle a firebender if the opportunity presented itself. 

Determined not to have the opportunity present itself --and eager for time away from Jet and his questions- Zuko offered to do the dishes after breakfast while the rest of the group went outside. From the kitchen window he could see Toph demonstrating a series of movements to Aang while Sokka sat nearby, pouring over a map, and Jet swung twin hook swords at an imaginary opponent. 

The last dish was nearly clean when a voice spoke so close to Zuko’s ear, he jumped, nearly shattering the bowl in surprise. 

“Why don’t you join them?” Yurai was looking over his shoulder at the kids outside. “Jet is always saying he misses sparring with his friends.”

“I, uh, I don’t think me sparring with Jet is a good idea… Besides, I don’t have any weapons.”

“You can take a look at the oddities I’ve collected from my travels. There’s bound to be something in there amongst the dust.”

“I still don’t…”

Yurai did not respond for a moment. A smile spread across her face as she watched the world outside the window --Jet’s laughter and the sight of a glowering Aang the source of her amusement. The airbender had just taken a rather hard fall from one of Toph’s attacks. A sight that Zuko had to admit, entertained him as well. 

“When we found Jet he had fresh wounds and old wounds, much like my Hama. He has healed slowly from both, but the young are resilient and adaptable...:” She turned and took the bowl from Zuko, setting it aside and taking both his hands in hers. “The Avatar is not the only one capable of restoring balance. It comes from all of us --individuals working for better.”

“And hoping for forgiveness...” Zuko muttered, staring at his hands. Yurai’s words were similar to what Katara had said to him the night of the wildfire, but he still had a hard time believing it was possible. 

“Yes, it is not easy for those like Hama and Jet to look past all the hurt they have experienced... They both have spent years of their lives wanting to make their enemies pay.”

Zuko followed the arc of Jet’s swords as they cut through the air. “I don’t blame them… The Fire Nation deserves it.”  _ I deserve it... Their hatred...  _

“An infinity could be spent trading life for life, but that is not how balance will be achieved. If we did that then there would always be someone wanting vengeance for the loss of a loved one, and where would that leave us? An endless cycle of grief... I am not saying everyone is worthy of complete absolution, but perhaps your generation can teach us a new way of life and begin remedying the mistakes of the past. ” 

“Why are you saying this to me?”

“Because I can see the conflict you carry inside of you, firebender, and the only way out is forward. You will prove that your past does not have to be who you are. In this lifetime, things can be different.”

Zuko pulled his hands away and blinked at her in surprise. “Y-you know that I’m a firebender?”

Yurai shrugged. “Yes, I can tell these things, but do not worry. You have nothing to fear from us. I have reminded Hama that all the pain your family caused her happened before you were born and that therefore she should allow you to carry on and redeem your nation in the years to come.” 

The woman spoke in riddles more complicated than the worst of Iroh’s mystical contemplations, but Zuko nodded nonetheless, feeling the same weight that he had felt after his conversation with Katara settle again even heavier.  _ The expectations only are only getting bigger and more complicated...  _

“As Jet has begun his healing so Hama has come as far as she can with hers, so don’t expect too much from her, but… I think you and him would get along. I think you could help Jet see that there is a future for the Fire Nation yet. A chance for a united world.”

“Okay, but I can’t just go out there and firebend…” The scene played out in Zukos’ mind several different ways, the results always the same --Aang, Sokka, and Toph trying to rip an enraged Jet off of him. 

Yurai chuckled, shaking her head as though she too were imaging the situation. “Oh, no. I wouldn’t do that, but there are other approaches. Start with a foundation of similarities and build to an understanding of your differences.” 

To Zuko’s great astonishment Yurai had somehow managed to steer him out of the kitchen and into the hallway as she spoke. Now she directed him towards a small door at the end of the corridor. “That is where my souvenirs are stored. I am sure you will find something you can use.” As mysteriously as she had arrived she departed, leaving Zuko with his head spinning and his feet dragging him slowly towards the knob of the door. 

The dust Yurai had spoken of danced in the air and tickled his nose as he entered the room and shut the door quietly behind him. Amongst scraps of paper, jumbles of scrolls, wooden carvings, and faded paintings it was hard to choose a single spot for his eyes to land. A tea set that looked like the one his uncle had cherished felt as good a place as any to start exploring the chaos. 

Thinking of Iroh’s intense dedication to the proper care of tea sets, Zuko moved to wipe a small smudge from the intricate glaze, but stopped just short, blinking in surprise as he spotted a familiar symbol magnified by a glass sphere that respected atop it.

Zuko rolled the sphere off to the side, revealing a folded pile of papers beneath it. His hands shook as he reached for them, bringing the broken seal that had bound them closer to his face, running his fingers across it, certain they would pass right through it.  _ What is this doing here?  _

The wax had warped with age and exposure to the elements, but it was a symbol Zuko had dreamt of for many years and it was unmistakable even in its ruined condition.  _ The Fire Lord’s insignia.  _ Once it had been a shape that had made him proud. Now the edges of the flames looked like teeth, and his stomach churned staring at the image pressed into the blood-red wax. Now he saw not a symbol of his future, but an emblem with a legacy of violence. 

The print on the pages was Fire Nation, the ink old and barely visible. It was with some relief that Zuko confirmed the handwriting was not his father’s. He squinted, but even when he seized the glass sphere from the desk and tried to use it to aid his efforts much of the text proved too damaged to read. Portions of the pages had what looked like burn holes running through them. The few snippets Zuko managed to read left him more confused than before. ‘ _ New strategy for the bending of… Derived from studies of…’  _

Accompanying the words were a series of images, distorted by the effects of water on the ink and paper. The images seemed to be an example of the strategy mentioned, but even if they had not been blurred they made no sense to Zuko. He scanned the depictions multiple times, but each time the movements changed based on if he assumed a particular smudge represented a hand or a foot. The clearest image was the final one in the sequence: A bender, with lightning shooting from both hands, dividing the horizon. 

Zuko stared at the picture for a moment, before shivering and refolding the pages. He hesitated briefly before tucking the bundle into his shirt, a short twinge of guilt haunting him before he looked around the room once more.  _ She won’t miss it,  _ he decided. And what use did a couple of non-benders have for a bending text anyways?  _ Especially one with the Fire Lord’s seal... _

He spent a few minutes more perusing the desks and shelves thrown haphazardly in the tight space, mindful not to accidentally crush one of the several animal skulls scattered on the floor. He was just about to give up on his search for a weapon --Yurai seemed to have collected everything, but- when his leg knocked against an assortment of umbrellas piled in one corner, and sent them all tumbling to the ground. His brow furrowed at the odd metallic clang that accompanied the crash of wood. 

As he bent to replace the fallen items he was startled by his own reflection, a single golden eye staring back at him from the surfaces of the blade...beside it rested its twin. Zuko could think of no worse place to store a pair of dao swords than amongst handheld accessories, and yet, here they were. 

He picked them up, their weight in his hands a comfort he had not known he craved. He gave them a tentative twist, smiling to himself as familiar movements came back to him, a second nature.  _ Maybe one match… _

The air was heavy with the potential of rain when Zuko stepped outside. His first thought was that a waterbender like Katara would probably love this sort of weather, and his second was that Katara needed exactly opposite this weather by tonight in order for Hama to accomplish whatever she had planned for her healing. He eyed the clouds anxiously for a moment and considered offering a prayer, but he was out of practice talking to the spirits. He had stopped asking them for anything the day he had been banished, convinced they were determined to provide only antithesis to his requests. 

Aang had spotted him and was waving. “Zuko! What took you so long?” 

He held the dao swords up in response, taking an experimental swing in the open space. Jet’s eyes shone as he watched Zuko run through several motions, sensing a challenge. 

Zuko only acknowledged the boy’s staring after he felt properly warmed up. “Up for a match?” he asked, dropping into a steady stance. 

Jet smirked and took a few steps closer in response, twirling his hook swords. “Definitely.”

Zuko caught Toph freeze mid lecture to Aang, her toes digging deeper into the ground beneath her in the same way one might lean closer to try and catch more of a conversation they were not a part of. “Let’s take a break, Twinkle Toes,” she said, and together she and Aang went to lean against Appa’s side with Sokka.

As Jet nodded his head to indicate his readiness, Zuko tried to recall the last time he had leveled a sword against someone with the sole intent of some harmless training. As a kid he had stumbled, while his younger sister perfected intricate firebending sequences with ease. The first place he had found grace was in the art of fighting with the dual swords, but it had been a long time since his first lessons...  _ ‘Two different parts of the same whole.’  _ He hadn’t forgotten.

The blades reacted seamlessly to Jet’s attacks --as though they were an extension of Zuko’s own body. Each motion sunk into the next, an evasive maneuver connecting to an offensive arc in such a way that it appeared almost choreographed. 

It was highly doubtful that Jet had been professionally trained by anyone, which made Zuko admire his skill that much more. Minutes into the match, he easily jumped the dao swords Zuko swung at his ankles and retaliated with a fierce leap, hooks driving downward towards Zuko’s shoulders.

Zuko, rolled easily to the side, mindless of the mud that caked his back as he did so, and sprung away, catching Jet’s secondary strike easily with one blade while leveling the other at the boy’s exposed flank. He slowed his motion just before impact, smacking him instead with the flat of the sword.

Panting, Jet lowered his hook swords and shook his head. “Alright, not bad, but I won’t go as easy this time.”

They both lifted their weapons once more, eyes locked, circling slowly. 

Jet rushed first, spinning sideways, arms extended, his swords whistling in the air. He drew them in at the last possible moment --one hook driven towards Zuko’s foot and the other towards his head. 

Rolling beneath the upper hook and pinning the lower one with his own blade, Zuko took advantage of Jet’s surprise to swing at his neck. Convinced it was another victory he slowed, mindful not to actually make impact, but his sword completed its curve --interrupted only by the wheat Jet miraculously managed to keep ahold of in his mouth- as his competitor managed an impressive backbend to avoid the attack. 

Zuko pulled his blades back, clumsily blocking Jet’s quick jab to his left side. He barely managed to recover his balance before Jet was lunging again, but this time he dodged with a powerful backwards flip, landing neatly with a flourish of the dao swords. 

Jet was quick to pursue so Zuko sidestepped --aiming for Jet’s belly as he did so. He was forced to sidestep again when Jet followed the movement, and again, till they were locked, nearly back to back, sword following sword as they countered and struck repeatedly in a furious circle of metal. 

They escaped the pattern only when Zuko glided backwards and pivoted in the opposite way, spinning around Jet who continued in the same direction as before. He pinned him with an abrupt jab to the back and Jet’s shoulders slumped in surrender. 

As Zuko removed the point of his sword Jet spat the remainder of his wheat to the ground. “Not bad,” he admitted.

“GO ZUKO!” Toph hollered. 

Even Sokka had a smile on his face as he gave Zuko an approving nodd. Zuko suspected he received the acknowledgement only because Jet was his opponent, but he appreciated the gesture all the same. 

“Another round?” Jet asked, wiping sweat from his brow. 

“Sure.” 

Zuko couldn’t remember the last time he had had this much  _ fun. _ As their blades met again and his arms shook with the force of Jet’s blow, his heart did not race in fear. There was no real threat. There was no Fire Lord watching him, judging him. No soldiers watching him, judging him. No enemy trying to kill him. Instead, the fighting was, at its’ simplest, a competition against someone his own age, for no purpose other than enjoyment. For the first time in his life if he failed there would be no consequences. Not that he would fail... He was far too proud to let that happen. 

Uninhibited by pressure, except for that which he placed on himself Zuko had never moved more effortlessly. It was as though he were physically lighter.  _ Made of air.  _ He laughed even as one of Jet’s hook swords nearly caught him off guard, and he kept laughing as his swords met his adversary’s again and again. The sound mingled with the sharp hiss of steel and clamor of metal. He was removed from time. Removed from pain, from anger, from loss. 

For a moment. He was free. 

Then came the flash, and with it returned all that he wanted so desperately to leave behind.

He may as well have been back on the ship... She may as well have been standing before him --remnants of deadly, electric energy playing across her hands- a finger suspended in its aim at his heart. He re-lived it all over again in that instance, in that flash.

Fear was a taste; the memory of metal in his mouth --pain in his chest like he had never experienced before, pain that broke him down until he was comprised of nothing else.

***

Katara was extremely thirsty. Thirstier than she could ever remember being in her entire life. Blearily she stumbled out of her room and into the kitchen, desperate to alleviate the dryness of her throat. 

To her pleasant surprise a pitcher of water and some cups had already been set out on the counter by the window. Perhaps Hama had expected this side effect of Yurai’s medicine. Katara eagerly poured herself a glass, repeating the motion several times before she was at last content. 

Shouting from outside caused her to turn to the window. Sokka, Toph, and Aang were sitting beside the familiar form of Appa smiling as they watched something... Katara squinted at a blur of motion crossing the yard. It took her a moment to recognize it for what it was.  _ Jet and Zuko? _

They were locked in a fierce battle unlike any she had seen before. She was used to watching (and participating in) bending fights, and had seen Zuko firebend many times, but she had never seen him fight this way. 

His elegant movements were mesmerizing, something about them so different from his usual style.  _ He’s looser,  _ she thought, following his easy twist. 

Much of the desperation with which she was used to seeming him fight was gone. Both times she had faced him in the North Pole he had seemed to only defend himself as an afterthought, driven by a reckless unidentifiable force that left him vulnerable in his single mindedness.  Now, the erraticism was noticeably absent, replaced by a confidence that made him seem untouchable. 

Katara stood, transfixed, until her injured lungs began to complain of the effort. She knew if Hama caught her out of bed she would receive a scolding and was about to turn away when a streak of lightning shattered the sky, chased by the rumble of thunder, and echoed by alarmed shouts from Aang as Zuko crumpled suddenly, clutching his chest. 

Picturing one of Jet’s hooked swords piercing Zuko’s heart, adrenaline carried Katara outside, through the ensuing downpour and across the grass before her illness could catch up to her. Jet knelt by a fallen Zuko and she shoved him aside, deaf to his protests, and frantically scanned the firebender’s body for injury. 

There wasn’t enough light to tell.  _ Mud or blood?  _ “Are you hurt?” she wheezed, breathless from the brief sprint.

Zuko also seemed to be struggling for air. His eyes were wide and his whole body was taut, every muscle tightened. 

“Zuko?” 

He seemed to see her for the first time, tearing his gaze from the sky to meet hers. He took a deep, shaky breath and slowly released it. Katara noticed his body tremble briefly, then at last he released some of his stiffness. He sat up, rain running along his clenched jaw. 

_ A sword didn’t hit him...  _ “What happened?” she asked softly.

Zuko shook his head, glancing at where Aang and the others stood, watching anxiously nearby. “I just... slipped. Knocked the wind out of me.”

“I heard Aang and I saw you collapse and I...I thought maybe Jet accidentally hit you?”

He frowned, considering. “I don’t...I can’t tell…” His eyes kept flitting to the sky, frantically scanning the dark for a hidden enemy.

“Katara, Zukos’ fine, we need to get you inside. You really shouldn’t be out of bed, that tonic will be wearing off soon.” 

“What do you know about it?” Katara spun, growling at Jet, but when her throat began to feel as though it were closing she sagged somewhat and allowed Sokka to help her to her feet. Aang quickly placed himself beneath her other shoulder. Wordlessly they started walking her back to the hut. 

Katara’s head was beginning to swim, but she didn’t have the breath to curse the sensation. She glanced back to ensure Zuko was following behind them and saw through the sheets of rain that he was trailing just behind Toph and Jet, still nervously eyeing the stormy sky.  _ What’s that about?  _ Katara wondered. 

Once inside Yurai immediately fell upon her, reprimanding her foolish actions. “No moon tonight for Hama to use  _ and  _ you go ahead and waste all that energy out in the storm? What were you thinking? You’ll be lucky if...” The onslaught of rhetorical questions continued until Katara was in bed again, Yurai stopping only to ask Jet to prepare another dose of medicine.

Katara turned to her brother. “Where’s Zuko? Are you sure he’s okay?”

“Katara, you’re the one with a lung infection…”

“Sokka, please. What happened? One minute it seemed like he was  _ invincible  _ and the next he was on the ground practically frozen.”

“Seriously, can you worry about yourself for once? Yurai’s right, you’re wasting all this energy.”

“It was the lightning,” Aang murmured from the doorway. 

_ The lightning?  _ Katara remembered the bolt she had seen just before Aang’s shout and the sight of Zuko suddenly on his back had sent her running. She was about to ask for more details when Jet appeared, handing Yurai a steaming cup emitting noxious fumes. Katara’s nose crinkled. 

“This one is stronger than the last. You’ll need it if you’re going to make it to tomorrow night at this rate,” Yurai scowled, tutting in disappointment as Katara coughed violently. 

She caught Jet mouthing a sincere ‘sorry’ at her before she threw the astringent potion back. 

Yurai quickly evacuated everyone from the room, saying something about needing help preparing dinner and Katara was left in the dark, listening to the rain pelting the roof of the hut, and thinking, as more thunder shook the walls of the shelter, of a star-shaped scar and its owner. 

***

“Where do you think you’re going? Gah, look at the mess you’ve brought in with you,” Hama scowled. 

Still reeling from the effects of the lightning and not wanting to cause any conflict with their host Zuko stopped in the entry of the hut, sighing as the others followed Katara into her room. Of course, the elder had made no comment about the tracks on the floor _ they  _ had left behind, but Zuo was not about to mention this. Hypocrisy was a small crime compared to whatever the Fire Nation had done to Hama --he did not need to hear her story to know this. 

Zuko gently set his dao swords against the wall. “I’m sorry,” he told Hama quietly. 

She continued to regard the nuisance in her entryway dripping water everywhere, the sound the only thing keeping them from an icy silence.

“Do you have a towel I can use? I can clean the mess up...” 

Hama rolled her eyes in response. “Can’t you dry yourself off?”

Zuko stared uncertainly. 

The old woman lowered her voice. “You are a  _ firebender  _ aren’t you?” She spat the word like a curse and crossed her arms.

“I am...” This did not feel like the right time for a confrontation, dazed as he was, but Hama was eyeing the growing puddles on the floor as though they were the entirety of what was wrong in the world and Zuko the cause.  _ What did the Fire Nation do to her?  _ What pain had his family inflicted on this woman? And who was he to try and deny her her anger after all she had faced? 

Zuko searched for a way to explain. Explain that he had been a part of something that he hadn’t understood for so long, swallowed by a monster and used by it. That he was awake now. That he couldn’t fix everything --not even close- but that he wanted, so badly, to do whatever he could to help. To make things better. But there were no words to encapsulate all his personal shame and regret, nor was there a simple answer to how he would be reversing the wrongs of his Nation and family --he was still figuring that out. Besides, an explanation was not what Hama was looking for. 

Instead, Zuko simply said, “I  _ am  _ sorry for the mess. I got caught out in the storm, but I didn’t mean to bring it into your home.” He bowed respectfully to Hama and shut his eyes, focusing on his breathing. Warming his skin to the point where he could dry clothes like a small sun required a level of precision Iroh had often tried to teach him without success. Every attempt had always resulted in Zuko’s frustration flaring, burning hole after hole in his shirts. But Zuko was trying to be different, to be intentional, and to replace the fires of anger and shame that he had carried for so long with something more productive. 

Steam slowly curled beneath his nose and onto his face and he opened one eye, surprised and slightly proud to discover that his entire body was coated in the misty substance as the moisture evaporated from his clothes. Minutes later, though still slightly damp, they were at minimum not spilling rain onto Hama’s floors --and miraculously, he had not set himself aflame. 

The elder’s face remained impassive. “Neat trick,” she said, before waving her hand and gathering the puddles on the floor into a neat bubble as easily as she might wave hello.

She walked into the kitchen leaving Zuko, speechless.

“Well, that was obviously a test.” Zuko had failed to see Sokka staring at him from the doorway to Katara’s room, Toph, Aang and Jet clustered behind him. 

“Yeah, no kidding…” It was far easier for a waterbender to remove water from clothes than a firebender.  _ She was playing with me…  _ “Did you know?”

“That she was a waterbender? No idea… But that’s cool.” He shrugged. “Probably means she’s a good healer like Katara.” 

“Yeah…” At the mention of the girl Zuko glanced behind the group into the dark room. “Is she alright?”

“Hama and Yurai don’t seem too worried, so I guess I shouldn’t worry either...”

As though summoned by her name, Yurai appeared behind the four kids, shoving at their backs until they had moved enough for her to shut the door behind her. “Worry tomorrow if the weather has not cleared,” she muttered. “For now, come help me prepare some food.” 

Toph, Aang, and Jet followed her mutely to the kitchen, making faces, but Sokka lingered, eyes on the door to his sister’s room. 

“‘Worry tomorrow’,” Zuko commented. “Easier said than done.”

“Exactly,” Sokka replied, tearing his gaze away from the door. “Hey, uh, are  _ you  _ alright? What happened out there?”

Zuko shuddered as a clap of thunder rang out, thankful for the walls of the hut shielding him from the storm and its electric elements. Sokka watched him closely, but Zuko could think of nothing to say. It seemed impossible to explain the effect the lightning had had on him and Zuko was also quite ashamed. If he hadn’t dropped to the ground in fear Katara would not have come running out into the rain, risking her own safety.  _ Another thing to be sorry for...  _

“I’m just tired. Do you know where we’re sleeping tonight?” he asked, avoiding Sokka’s stare. 

“Yeah, Yurai set out some cushions and blankets for us in a room down the hall... Aren’t you coming to dinner?”

“No... I don’t think so. I’m not very hungry.” Zuko brushed past the water tribesman and wandered down the dark hallway.

The room Yurai had set up for them was surprisingly large with an impossible number of pillows and blankets amassed inside. It seemed a mystery why two old women owned so many cushions, but when Zuko spotted some clumps of white fur amongst the blankets he suspected the volume of such items had something to do with spoiling Miyuki.

There was plenty of space to sprawl, but Zuko selected a corner by the window to sit and watched the rain as it ran down the glass. 

There was always a moment of tension before a droplet turned into a rivlet in which it sat, suspended, before finally giving way to progress... 

***

In the village a pair of cloaked figures walked the lantern-lined walkways, intent on seeking shelter from the storm. 

It had been a long day of travel, made worse by the inclimate weather in the final hours, but at last, they had found a stopping point for the evening. 

“Ugh this is such a drag. Remind me why we couldn’t have stayed in Omashu?”

“Because she couldn’t leave. She wanted us to continue towards Ba Sing Se. She’ll catch up.”

“Yeah, well, like I said: a drag.”

“Oh, no looks like you two got caught out in this awful storm. I assume you’re looking for a room for the night?” the innkeeper smiled.

The shorter of the pair reached for some coins, but paused to sneeze politely into her elbow before sliding them across the counter. 

“You’re not sick are you? Are you in need of a healer? That’d be the second group today I had to send out there... Although I’m really not sure those women could help that young man.” Despite the lack of response from her customers the woman continued to ramble cheerfully. “I still can’t decide if he was looking for help for his blind friend or himself... Lee, please grab that key for, Mom, won’t you?.... Anyways, poor thing. He was wearing this big hat to hide his face, but my son asked me after he left, he said ‘Momma? What was that mark on that man’s face?’ And I realized, it wasn’t a shadow from the hat I had seen on that boy’s face, it was a scar. Poor thing... Probably an injury from the war. You two aren’t refugees, are you?”

The two figures exchanged a knowing glance. “No... What was it you said about a healer? Where did you send this boy? I do think my friend might need some medicine.”

“Yeah,” the short one said, feigning a cough and a sniffle. “I think all this traveling has gotten me sick.”

“Oh, such a shame, dear. Yes, I should warn you these healers are not conventional, but they helped me with my boy and they are all we have unless you go to the next town over... Thank you, Lee.” She took the key from her son and handed it to the customers. “Stay here for the night though, no use going all that way in the storm. I can show you where to go in the morning.”

The girls lowered the hoods of their cloak, smirking. “Perfect.”   
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a bit of a slower chapter and such a hard chapter to write... I actually ended up rewriting most of it because the first pass was just not right at all. That being said, still not sure how to feel about it --so let me know :)
> 
> I am super excited for the next few chapters, so I hope I haven't lost any of you this week. As always, thank you for reading and thank you as well for any kudos and comments --they are truly writer fuel!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for a late update! This chapter turned out even longer than I expected and editing it was a massive task. I'm pretty sure I could've spent another week on it, but my brain was turning to mush and I really wanted to provide an update so here we are -I really hope you enjoy!!

In the wake of the storm everything seemed to take on extra vibrancy. The grass shimmered from the rain, the flowers were perkier from their watering, the birds sung with new enthusiasm, and the sky was a brilliant, crisp azure. The world and all its wonders celebrated, rejuvenated by the gift of water. 

All except the waterbender. All except Katara...

In another world it might’ve been funny, the irony, but given the severity of the situation it instead made Zuko sick to his stomach. It was just so  _ wrong,  _ so  _ unfair. Why her... Of all people. Why her? _

From the moment his eyes had opened he had known that the extra wait for moonrise was going to be agonizing. As the blinding light of the sun streaming through the window had woken him, something had just told him that the cheery scene outside was a lie.

His suspicions had been confirmed when he crept from the room and into the hallway, spotting Yurai before he had even made it two steps. The healer looked frazzled and exhausted.

“Katara?” he asked quietly, already seeing the answer on her face and feeling it in the air --an extra sense. When did he develop that? This awareness of  _ her _ ...

The woman shook her head. “Her condition has worsened since last night. It will be a long day, but I will do my best to keep her stable until tonight. At least, the weather has improved.”

“Can I see her?” There was a lump in his throat that made it difficult to speak. 

“Not right now. She will need all her strength to make it through the day… I’m sorry.”

Zuko walked by her silently and went to sit near Katara’s door. Being closer to her at least helped him breathe a little easier. He tried to distract himself from his worry by thinking of his uncle, wondering where he was, recalling old lessons, Iroh had taught him --bits and pieces of firebending instruction and methodology. That kept his focus for a time, reflecting on his uncle’s patience and puzzling on how to adapt all that he knew into exercises for the Avatar.

_ When we’re on the road again… When Katara’s better.  _ The scene played out in Zuko’s mind so clearly: His careful guidance leading to Aang producing his first burst of flame. Katara would smile… Zuko secretly hoped the smile would be for him. That she would be proud. But even in the crystal vision of his thoughts he was certain it would instead be for the Avatar. 

_ As it should be. Doesn’t matter. Can’t matter,  _ Zuko reminded himself, and was relieved when the rest of the group appeared --rubbing sleep from their eyes. 

They all looked grim, likely from updates Yurai had delivered, but it was Sokka who had clearly taken it the worst. He sat away from everyone else, closest to Katara’s door, holding his head in his hands. Again, Zuko was struck by the level of care between the siblings. Zuko wished there was something he could say or do to comfort him, but he also could not understand the connection. It was so different with Azula. She had so rarely allowed him to be there for her. 

He recalled an accident when they were younger… Azula had hurt herself training and Zuko had rushed to help her, but for all the pain of her injury she had shoved him aside, glaring.  _ ‘I’m fine, Zuzu, leave me alone.’  _ She had always fought so hard to keep any sign of weakness from him, and he had never been able to figure out why… What could he have done differently? Where had the break begun? 

The morning and much of the afternoon passed in a tense silence, broken only by the comings and goings of the healers from Katara’s room. At some point Jet managed to convince them to eat something, stressing the importance of keeping their energy, but the action was mechanical, the food tasteless. All the fire-flakes in the world would not have burned away the cloud of worry engulfing them. 

“I just don’t understand how this happened…” Aang murmured. “She was perfectly healthy. And none of us are feeling sick, right?” 

“It might be time to tell them.” Toph tilted her head deliberately towards Zuko. “I know Katara didn’t want you to say anything, but… She’s hardly in a position to argue at this point.”

He knew she was right, and yet, when Sokka looked up it was hard not to want to run. All the good will he had been trying to build with them felt suddenly more fragile than it ever had before. He felt like the jerk trying to capture the Avatar again. Worse. He felt like the thief of all hope. __

“What do you know?” Sokka’s voice was low, tense. 

A deep breath did nothing to steady Zuko before he replied. “After we made camp the other night I snuck back to the forest that the Fire Nation was planning to burn down… When I got there I found Katara had already been there for some time battling the flames on her own. We made it back okay, but she had inhaled a lot of smoke… That’s where the infection is from. I should’ve done something, I should’ve made her turn back sooner, or maybe I could’ve protected her from it somehow… I’m so sorry. I failed her.” To himself he added, quietly shaking his head in shame, “She saved me...and I _failed_ her…”

Sokka fixed Zuko with an intense stare that seemed to last for an eternity, before finally sighing and turning away. “I’m not sure what else you could’ve done. Katara’s always going to do what she wants to do, and she was never going to leave that forest to burn… I just wish you would’ve told us sooner.”

“She really didn’t want to slow us down or worry you…”

“No!” Aang growled, the airbender on his feet and pacing in uncharacteristic anger. “Why didn’t you tell us? Why didn’t _she_ tell us? I should’ve been there. I’m an _airbender_ I could have helped! I could’ve kept her safe!”

“I--” Zuko began, but Aang was quick to cut him off, turning to jab a finger into his chest.

“You should’ve woken me up. I trusted you. We’re just supposed to believe you were going back to the forest to help?”

“I was --I did- I promise!” The peaceful nature of the Avatar was nowhere to be seen, lost in irrational rage over the harm of a loved one, and Zuko felt certain that any second now Aang would rescind the second-chance he had given him. And then what? Who would stop the chosen one from kicking a former enemy out the door? 

“What were you going to do about it? A  _ firebender _ . What good was that going to do? All fire ever does is hurt and destroy. Look at what it’s done to Katara!”

Toph tried to reach for the monk’s shoulder. “Aang, you know that’s not true, Zuko’s going to show you--”

“I thought you didn’t have any bending…”

Aang’s eyes widened at Jet’s quiet statement and he fell suddenly silent as Sokka quickly glanced from the rebel to Zuko, waiting for an eruption of anger. 

Before any further chaos could arise the door to Katara’s room swung open and Hama’s grey head and wrinkled face appeared. “If you don’t quiet down out here I’ll throw you into the pond myself!” she hissed. “And you better hope Miyuki has chased away all the poisonous frogs… Now. Yurai needs someone to go fetch some ingredients from the forest. Do I have a volunteer?”

“I’ll go,” Zuko muttered, rising swiftly to his feet. He kept his gaze fixed on the ground as he walked up to Hama, took the scrap of paper she held out, grabbed the dao swords and his hat by the door, and quickly walked out of the hut.

He did not pause to shut the door behind him. He did not pause even to acknowledge Momo, whose large ears drooped in sadness when his excited chittering went unanswered. He was breathless by the time he had reached the top of the hill on the road leading to the village and bent over, as much to catch his breath as to ensure his heart did not race from his chest in distress. He squeezed his eyes shut, determined not to cry, not to give in to the panic and crushing despair he felt. 

“Hey, wait up!”

Zuko straightened, blinking --certain that he had imagined the voice. 

Jet slowed a few steps from him, regarding him hesitantly. “Firebender, huh?”

It took ignoring all of Zuko’s fighting instincts to not reach for the dao swords, instead he sighed. “Just… Wait to kill me until after I get the stuff for Katara.” 

The boy nodded slowly in response. Zuko waited for him to curse, or shout as Aang had, but he seemed lost in thought. Then, as though to stop himself from changing his mind, Jet quickly shoved his hand out in front of him. 

“Um…” Zuko uncertainly mirrored the action, shocked when Jet grabbed his hand and shook it --rather than cut it off with the swing of one hooked blade. 

The handshake did not last long, Jet dropped Zuko’s hand abruptly, lips pressed into a thin line. 

“Okay…Uh, thanks?” Zuko said after a pause, glancing down the road. “I should probably get going.”

Jet followed his gaze, deliberating. “What’s a firebender doing working with a waterbender against the Fire Nation? Traveling with the Avatar?” 

“I’m a firebender, but I’m not… I’m not Fire Nation. Not anymore. Katara saved my life, and Aang --Aang needs a firebending teacher... It’s a start. I have to start somewhere.”

“Start what?”

“Making up for who I was. Finding a way forward --a  _ new _ way forward.” 

Again, Jet nodded. “Alright.”

“Alright?” Zuko asked, confused. 

“Yeah. I think I get it. I think I understand… I have some making up to do too.” A small smirk appeared on his face. “It’s a pretty messed up world we got handed, isn’t it?”

_ Is that really it? No yelling? No threatening me?  _ “You have no idea.”

Jet started walking down the road and Zuko --still in awe and half-expecting to be caught off guard by an attack- followed. “Aang will cool off. Don’t worry about it. I’m pretty sure he’s forgiven me --and I nearly killed a whole bunch of innocent people just to get at some Fire Nation soldiers.”

Zuko gave a short uncomfortable chuckle, reflecting on his fortune that Yurai had been true in her assessment of Jet’s progression. Had he met Jet a few months ago Zuko sensed he would not have been so easily allowed to escape injury. Of course, a few months ago if he had met Jet, Zuko himself would have started the fight --as a devoted Fire Nation prince and an enemy to the Avatar.

The sun was beginning to set by the time they reached the clearing where the herbs Yurai needed grew. Zuko worried Katara’s time was running out, but --much to his relief- the hunt for the herb was over quickly. Jet assessed the collection of plants in the area and expertly plucked several of the one depicted in the drawing Hama had given them from amongst many look-alikes in a matter of minutes, and despite Jet’s warrior mentality, Zuko wondered if he might just become a healer --like Yurai- in the future. 

As they began the trek back to the hut, shadows stretching further and further in front of them, Jet broke from his retelling of a particular adventure with two friends called Longshot and Pipsqueak --names that Zuko had decided only children living without adult supervision for an extended amount of time could come up with- to turn to Zuko. 

“So… You and Katara?”

“What do you mean me and Katara?” Zuko scoffed, tugging at the brim of his hat to hide the flush of color that had rushed to his cheeks. “What about  _ you  _ and Katara?”

Jet shrugged. “There was something there. Probably not anymore.”

“Well, there’s nothing to talk about here either…”

The rebel gave a short laugh. “Uh, huh, sure… Didn’t you notice how she rushed to your side yesterday when you fell? Haven’t you ever had someone care for you like  _ that _ before?”

After the lightning strike the day before everything had been a mindless blur. Everything except Katara. When fear had consumed him she had brought the world back into focus. She seemed to have a knack for that... Dragging him back into reality, tearing him away from the void. Still, Zuko had not forgotten Aang’s angry outburst from earlier and he doubted he would for some time. So, he chose not to inform Jet of this experience and tried instead to steer the conversation away from the waterbender. 

“There was a girl,” he told Jet. “A long time ago.”

“How long ago?”

“A whole nother life ago…”

“Ah, yeah, I had one of those too. Before you lousy ash-makers burned my home down.”

Zuko blanched, prompting a laugh from Jet. “Calm down, you look like you’ve eaten one of Yurai’s frogs. Look, I’ve never met a firebender on our side --I wasn’t referring to you.”

_ Except you sort of were…  _ Zuko’s hand briefly tapped the papers concealed beneath his shirt, his mind painting the Fire Lord insignia in his head from memory. 

“Her name was Eri.”

“Huh?” Zuko shook his head, urging the dread away.

“The person who cared for me in my other life. Her name was Eri. What about your person?”

“I mean, she wasn’t  _ mine _ .”

“Come on, you know what I mean.”

A memory flickered to life, a stolen kiss by the turtleduck pond... Azula had come and ruined it --as she did with everything- but amongst the many unpleasant moments Zuko had had in his life, here were a spare few seconds he had not considered in a long time that might even be considered... _ normal, maybe even good _ . “Mai,” Zuko said quietly after a moment. “Her name was Mai.”

***

“That’s him,” she whispered, crawling forward, belly to the ground, to get a better look through the undergrowth concealing them. “Aww, he looks all grown up. Is this weird for you? It’s gotta be kind of weird for you…”

“Shut up. You’re going to give us away,” her companion replied, but she couldn’t help scooting closer to also catch a glimpse of the banished prince.  _ She’s right… He looks older.  _ Three years could do that. 

“What do we do now?” 

_ Why didn’t Azula tell us to expect Zuko to be with them?  _ She watched as he and the other boy entered the hut in the valley below, then turned to eye the orange horizon. “This is the Avatar we’re talking about… And her information says he travels with at least one other bender --now two. We’ll wait for nightfall, just like we talked about.” 

“Are you nervous about seeing him again? Like  _ actually  _ seeing him?”

She rolled her eyes in reply.  _ Yes.  _

***

“Ah, good, you’re finally back,” Yurai rushed up to Jet and grabbed the bag containing the herbs they had collected from him, patting his shoulder and giving him a small, proud smile as she did so. Then she turned her attention to the greater group, all in various states of awkwardness around Zuko, though she did not seem to notice. “I’m going to go prepare this compound for our patient… Not long now, but she’s fading fast. This should help her make it through the next few hours.” 

Sokka sighed heavily the moment she was gone, leaning against the nearest wall for support. Toph came to sit beside him. 

Uncertain where to go given the circumstances preceding his departure, Zuko wavered by the entry, too anxious to meet anyone’s eyes. After a tense moment the shuffling of feet as Aang took a tentative step forward made him lift his head cautiously. 

The airbender’s ashamed expression was unexpected, the words that accompanied it even more so, “Zuko, I’m sorry… I shouldn’t have said those things. I just care  _ so  _ much about Katara and I’m really scared and stressed and… Can you forgive me?”

It was so easy to forget that he was just a kid, even younger than Zuko himself, carrying the weight of the world and an inescapable destiny, but it was impossible not to see it now. Aang continued to watch him with regretful eyes.  _ Has anyone ever asked  _ me  _ for forgiveness?  _ It had always been the other way around… It was a strange feeling. “I guess I can give you a second-chance,” Zuko said softly, smiling.

“Sparky, you’re about as good at jokes as you are at lying,” Toph groaned.

Aang however, laughed, relieved and embraced Zuko --who stiffened at first, surprised, before slowly patting the monk’s back in reply. 

“What made you change your mind?” Jet asked Aang as he released Zuko, ignoring the exasperated huffs the question drew from both Sokka and Toph. 

“I thought about what Sokka said. It’s true, Katara would’ve gone either way, and if Zuko hadn’t been there she might not have made it out of the fire at all. I think I was just hurt she didn’t tell me --I still hurt am- I guess I understand why she didn’t though. It was her choice to make and she was trying to protect us.”

Katara protected the homes of strangers from fire, she had protected Aang from Zuko himself in the North Pole, and the day before… Even when sick she had run out to make sure Zuko was okay. ‘ _ Haven’t you ever had someone care for you like  _ that  _ before?’  _ Jet had asked him, except what Jet had failed to recognize was the incredible care Katara had for everyone.  _ I’ve never met a more selfless person...  _

Zuko broke from his contemplations at the sound of Sokka’s mournful voice. “Why can’t she protect herself just once…” 

Even if she pulled through all of this, Zuko doubted that Katara would change her behavior, but he pledged silently to himself that if she would not protect herself over others, he would do what he could to keep her safe. He would not let something like this happen again. He was convinced the waterbender was as important to the restoration of goodness in the world as the Avatar --maybe more so. 

He was the first volunteer again when at last Hama appeared to ask for help setting up a place to do her work behind the hut beneath the night sky.

***

Katara had always thought the stars whispered. That they had stories to tell if only she could find enough stillness to hear them, enough time to interpret their language. On quiet nights in the South Pole she would sneak away from Gran Gran and Sokka in her warmest furs and find a place to lie alone and revel in their glory. 

Her body would go slowly numb with cold as she gazed upward at an endless sky, a limitless world with limitless possibilities. She would exhale and the moon would make the vapor of her breath glow and she would tell herself that it was translating her wishes to the stars, transforming her mortal words into one of their luminescent melodies.

If she stared long enough eventually she would feel like she was one of them. Floating. Infinite.  _ Free.  _

It almost felt that way now as Sokka carried her in his arms, her head tilted back so that the moon and all of her companions stretched before her. In the presence of such celestial essences her strength was renewed again in ways no earthly medicine could possibly hope to achieve --if only that were all she needed to heal. 

Sokka set her down gently on a bedroll, her fingers lightly grazing dewy grass. Her eyes fell on his serious face. 

“After tonight you’re not allowed to scare me like this ever again, okay? You have to promise you’re going to get better and then promise to just… just be  _ safe. _ ”

She spoke between short, shallow breaths, fighting for every important word. “Sokka, you know I can’t promise that. If there are people who need me I won’t turn my back to them. Not ever. That’s not who I am…”

“Well, at least  _ tell me  _ next time… You didn’t have to go back to the forest alone.”

“I wasn’t alone. Zuko followed me…” She smiled weakly. “He was there too... Who would’ve thought?”

“Not me... and I’m thankful he was, but I mean it. I’m your older brother. I’m always here for you. You’re just so bad at giving me the chance sometimes.”

“You’re right, Sokka. I’ll try to be better about it.”

She shut her eyes as he placed a light kiss to her forehead. When she opened them again he was making a face. “Bleh, you’re all clammy.”

Katara rolled her eyes. “Love you too. See you later…”

“You better,” Sokka replied solemnly, standing with a sharp nod to Hama before slowly beginning his walk back to the hut. 

“Are you ready?” Hama seemed taller than she ever had before --her movements steadier. 

_ Waterbenders and the moon,  _ Katara mused. “What am I meant to be ready for?” she asked.

“I will be truthful with you. This will be an unpleasant experience for us both. I am going to remove the toxins in your body in a way that none of Yurai’s medicine’s could. In a more… immediate way.”

“Okay…” Something in Hama’s tone was mildly upsetting. A shiver ran down Katara’s spine. “What does that mean?”

“It means I will be bending the infected blood out of your body and into this bowl.” She held up a large stone basin. “There I will be able to interact with it more directly than I could if it were still in your body… I will be able to heal it with accuracy rarely attained in ordinary healing. I will use my waterbending to purify the blood and then I will bend the blood back into your body. You should start to feel better very quickly after that.”

“You’re going to  _ bend my blood _ ?” Katara rasped. 

Hama shut her eyes for a moment, sighing. “Yes, my dear. I am. When you are healed I promise you and I will talk more about this. It is a skill I discovered in a time of desperate need and make no mistake it is a skill with which one can commit horribly, dark deeds, but as with all bending, it is also a skill with which one can achieve great good.” 

Katara stared for a moment at the elder. In all the time she had spent around the woman in the past few days she had seen only confidence in her. A confidence she had admired and wished to emulate. Every command was one that could not be questioned, every action clear and purposeful. Now, she seemed shaken, uncertain, watching Katara with great concern.  _ She expects me to judge her,  _ Katara realized.  _ She fears what I might think…  _

“I’m ready whenever you are,” she said quietly. “Thank you, Hama... For all your help. I am glad to know you, and honored to share the title of Waterbender of the Southern Water Tribe with you.”

Katara thought she saw tears glimmering in the old woman’s eyes as she silently began to wave her hands over Katara’s body beneath the moon’s fierce glow. Her fingers curled.

And Katara screamed. 

***

“Don’t’,” Yurai ordered, forcing Aang back into his seat with a rough push on his shoulders. 

“But--”

“Unfortunately Hama’s healing is not always painless, but children rest easy, it means that it has begun. The moon spirit was on our side tonight.”

Sokka and Aang exchanged a glance, the meaning of which was lost on Zuko. 

All heads turned simultaneously to the back of the hut as another of Katara’s pained cries rang out. Zuko’s hand tightened on the handle of one of the dao swords resting on the table in front of him.

“I’m going to go check on Appa and Momo,” Aang said tensely with a glance at Yurai, daring her to challenge him. 

The woman met his stare with equal intensity. “You cannot under any circumstance disrupt Hama while she is helping your friend. It would be extremely dangerous for her. Understood?”   


“Fine.”

Zuko watched the airbender march towards the door and decided that the daggers Katara’s exclamations drove through his stomach would be more tolerable with fresh air. “I’ll come with you.”

Outside Momo immediately flew to Zuko --earlier offense forgotten- and began fussing with the newly grown hairs on his head. 

Aang observed the interaction with some amusement seeming to relax as he scratched his sky bison’s velvety nose. “Do you want to borrow my razor again?” he asked.

“No, thanks.” Zuko looked upward at the lemur turned stylist. 

“Are you sure? Your hair is growing fast --and didn’t you have some of your head shaved before?”

“Yeah, I did…” Zuko hesitated. “It was styled that way after my banishment, but... I don’t want to abide by Fire Nation tradition anymore. I think I’m past banishment at this point anyways. With my father and sister trying to…” he trailed off before noticing Aang’s concerned stare. “Besides maybe I’ll be less recognizable if I grow it out.”

“If you change your mind let me know,” Aang said, smiling as he rubbed his own bare scalp. 

“Thanks.” 

The pair lapsed into silence, each lost in their own thoughts and fighting hard to focus on the comforting feel of animal fur beneath their hands. It was not always easy. An eerie silence had settled over the land broken only by the occasional belch of a frog. Now, Zuko longed to hear even a pained yell from Katara.  _ Maybe quiet is bad... Maybe quiet means...  _ His stomach dropped to his feet.  _ No. Not that.  _

Zuko was about to suggest they return to the hut to check on Sokka and everyone --maybe get an update from Yurai- when Appa emitted a low groaning sound. 

“What is it, boy?” Aang asked, looking around to see what the sky-bison was trying to tell them about. 

Zuko mimicked his movements at first seeing nothing except the moonlit, silver landscape, but then two cloaked figures emerged from the darkness of a nearby cluster of trees. One was limping badly, leaning against their partner as they slowly stumbled towards the hut.

“Hello, is this where the healers live? Please, my friend needs help!” The speaker’s face was concealed by her hood as she bent under the weight of the companion she supported. 

Aang rushed forward to assist, but Zuko hung back.  _ Something about that voice... _

“What’s happened?” the airbender crouched beside the newcomers. 

The ‘injured’ girl lifted her head and a flood of memories washed over Zuko. By then it was too late. The past had caught up with him again. 

Ty Lee’s hands moved as fast as any element, drumming out a rapid and concise rhythm along the Avatar’s body before Zuko could even shout a word of warning. Aang dropped to the ground, muscles rendered useless in a matter of seconds.

“Ah! What the--” 

Momo leapt from Zuko’s head and glided quickly towards the hut, cheeping an alert. Appa made a sound of distress and tensed, ready to race forward to Aang’s aid, but the boy shook his head eyeing their enemies uncertainly, trying to decide how dangerous they were.  _ And probably wondering if any of them are lightning benders like Azula... _

“Appa, shh, it’s okay.” Zuko caught the slight tremble in Aang’s voice. 

“Your chi-blocking has improved since I last saw you. Not bad for a non-bender…” Zuko glanced at Aang whose eyes widened in understanding. Still, he did not call out for help from his sky-bison. Zuko’s hands slowly wandered to the handles of his dao swords. “I assume you’re wasting your talent helping my sister?”

The girl beamed. “Thanks, Zuko! I’ve been training really hard and--”

“And our talents are not  _ wasted  _ helping our Nation. Look at where you’re standing. What happened to you? I thought you were  _ capturing  _ the Avatar?” 

Her accusing tone broke pieces of him he didn’t realize he had left to break. It wasn’t enough to have his family turned against him. Of course not. His childhood crush had to be dragged into the whole mess too, because first and foremost she was both a child of a Fire Nation politician and a friend of Azula’s, and he had been branded a traitor... “Mai,” he breathed. 

“Hi, Zuko.” She pulled back her hood to reveal her face, nearly translucent in its paleness beneath the moon’s light. The angles of her face had sharpened with age. She appeared both lovely and deadly at once, much like her...

_ Knives,  _ Zuko remembered, ducking just in time to avoid the first blade. It embedded itself in the tree behind him with a dull thud, but Ty Lee had not moved and no other weapons appeared to accompany it.  _ They’re testing me.  _

“What are you doing with the Avatar, Zuzu? You found him after all this time and didn’t come home?” Ty Lee chirped, bending to pinch one of Aang’s cheeks and lightly tap his throat. The airbender squirmed and glared at her, but it appeared she had severed his ability to speak as well as bend. 

“Don’t call me that,” Zuko growled, glancing towards the hut and then scanning the dark horizon.  _ Did they come with back-up?  _ He expected to see Azula’s blue fire and electric sparks any second. His heart hammered furiously at the idea, but Katara would not be here to disconnect him from his fear this time, and for now his sister was nowhere to be seen...

“Answer the question, Zuko.” Another knife had appeared in Mai’s skilled hands. She twirled it with deceiving casualness.

Zuko began to walk slowly forward, keeping his gaze carefully fixed on Mai. _They didn’t expect me here. Azula didn’t tell them. Azula doesn’t know where I’ve been._ That gave him hope. Hope she had assumed he was dead all this time. Hope that Azula hadn’t found Uncle.

Ty Lee and Mai had never been as cold as Azula despite being her best friends. Their parents were important people who wanted to foster important connections on every level possible --what better way than to have your children bond with the Fire Lord’s heir. Even back then, it had always seemed like Azula was next in line despite being the younger child… Zuko’s feet came even with Aang’s head. 

Ty Lee and Mai had fallen back in spite of themselves and though their faces revealed nothing, Zuko could see hesitation in their eyes.  _ They’re not sure what to do with me here…  _ That’s what Azula got for underestimating him. For assuming he would not --could not- possibly, get in the way of her plans, her  _ destiny  _ as she would call it. 

Mai’s voice rarely gave so much as a hint of her emotions, but it did so now as she tilted her head hopefully towards him. “You’ve got the Avatar, Zuko --and you’ve got our help too. Time to come home.” 

_ Home.  _ There was that word again, but it no longer held the same meaning as it once had. Home was in his past. It was a faint dream, fading memories, a lie. A lie his sister had used to trick him --trick him and nearly kill him. 

Zuko looked over his shoulder at Appa and said softly, “You’re going to have to get him out of here. He can’t be captured. Don’t come back until it’s safe.” Then he quickly grabbed a fistful of the Avatar’s robes and began dragging him towards the sky-bison. 

“You can’t be serious!” Mai said, looking to Ty Lee to see her response. “Don’t make us hurt you…” 

“Zuzu, have you lost your mind?” 

He had reached Appa who carefully took Aang’s clothing in his mouth and tossed him as gently as possible to his back. 

Mai, recovered from her initial shock and accepting the reality of the situation, sprinted forward with a frustrated growl, throwing knives as she went.

Zuko barely managed to get his dao swords up in time to knock the projectiles away. “Yip yip!” He tapped the sky-bison’s side urgently and stepped back, a large blast of air whipping across his face, as the creature took flight. 

“Ah, Zuko!” Ty Lee was falling in line with her partner, preparing to step forward when there was no longer a risk of being hit by one of Mai’s knives. “Why would you do that?” 

He blocked another of Mai’s attacks and leapt to the side, mindful to keep as much distance as possible between himself and the chi-blocker. He could survive a cut, but if Ty Lee’ managed to touch him the fight would not last much longer. 

“I no longer serve the Fire Nation --and I never will again.” Errant sparks danced along his fingers as he spoke, ducking as Ty Lee swung a kick at his neck. “Everyone said finding the Avatar was an impossible mission --a fool’s errand. Well, I found him, and now I have another impossible task… For the rest of my life I’ll be trying to make up for mine and my family’s wrongdoings.”

One of Mai’s knives ran across the back of Zuko’s hand. With a hiss he dropped a sword, throwing himself backwards to avoid Ty Lee’s flying fist and emitting a short burst of flame from his injured hand in the hopes of deterring them from pursuing. 

The door of the hut opened with a loud creak and all heads spun in the direction of the sound. 

“What’s happe--ahh!” Sokka exclaimed, several blades thrown in his direction pinning him to the doorframe. Jet and Toph who were trying to follow him out the door, lightly shoved past him. 

“Friends of my sister!” Zuko shouted to them, throwing another fistful of fire at Ty Lee’s feet before she could come any closer. The girl scowled as though he had made a particularly frustrating move in Pai Sho, her characteristic smirk returning seconds later as she flipped away from a rock Toph had bent towards her.

Jet charged towards Mai, but was interrupted by several knives hurled in his direction which he avoided with a neat dive and roll. He rose smoothly beside Mai, who promptly tucked closer to him to avoid the swing of his hook. 

Before he could even think of a counter move she had already leveled a knife at his throat. “Took one look at me and couldn’t let me go, huh?” Jet asked as he dropped his swords with a frustrated grunt.

Mai rolled her eyes. “Shut up. Zuko! Is this one a friend of the Avatar too? Or is it alright with you if I just…” She pulled the weapon lightly across Jet’s skin and a small trickle of blood ran down the boy’s neck. 

Zuko had managed to get away from Ty Lee and was on his way to free Sokka. He froze, frowning, as did Toph. 

Ty Lee took advantage of the temporary distraction to close the distance between her and Toph and disable all her limbs with a quick series of slaps. “Oof you guys really need to  _ focus _ a bit here. I mean, come on, we’re non-benders  _ and  _ you outnumber us.”

Toph made a strange sound of protest, clearly alarmed by the sudden lack of control over her muscles and the absence of her bending. For the first time since he had known her Zuko thought the earthbender looked disturbed, afraid even. 

“It’s okay, Toph,” he called softly. “It’ll come back. It’s not permanent.” He wished there was more he could do for her, but Ty Lee’s eyes were now darting between him and Sokka --the remaining opponents. 

“Zuko, I can’t feel my feet --I can’t feel my _feet,_ ” Toph whimpered from her position on the ground. 

“Call the Avatar back, Zuko.” Mai fixed him with a steely, threatening glare. 

He spotted Appa’s silhouette against the moon and fought the urge to look back in the direction where he knew Katara and Hama to be. They were trapped. Even if they all managed to scramble atop Appa now --and that was unlikely with Toph’s chi blocked and a knife at Jet’s throat- they wouldn’t be able to leave.  _ Not without Katara.  _

There was a tearing sound as gravity finally ripped Sokka’s clothes free from Mai’s knives. “Don’t do it, Zuko.”

Jet emitted a low hissing sound as Mai pressed her blade still deeper against his throat. “You and I both know it’s not that simple. We’re not kids anymore, Zuko. This is not a game.”

He knew that. Better than Mai or Ty Lee or even Azula. He had been the first to learn. He had been taught three years ago by his father, the lesson engraved on his face --had been reminded weeks ago by his sister. He didn’t need to be told again.

His eyes flitted to Ty Lee, who was slowly closing the gap between herself and Sokka and back to Mai.  _ They’re outmaneuvering us... We need a new position.  _ Zuko scanned desperately for a solution, but how could he reach Mai without giving up his advance on Ty Lee? His gaze landed on Sokka’s back. 

“Sokka, do you remember when the day we met?” 

“Uh, Zuko… Is now really the time for nostalgia?” 

“In the South Pole, you were defending your home. You kept rushing at me, but that didn’t work. He lowered his voice. “We need another angle...”

Sokka’s eyes lit up in understanding and he looked to Mai. “Good plan.”

“Will it be fast enough?”

Sokka reached slowly behind his back. “Buy me some time. Distract her.” 

“Ty Lee!” Zuko called, and sent a large burst of flame in her direction. Larger than it needed to be. Large enough that for a moment she and Sokka were hidden behind a wall of fire. Through the flames an object whistled, so fast that if you didn’t know to look for it you might not even see it . 

Mai was not looking for it, she was looking for her friend. “Ty Lee!” she rushed forward, still holding her weapon to Jet’s throat, but with slightly less focus. 

The flames subsided. Crouched behind a line of scorched earth was Ty Lee, Sokka crumbled at her feet. “Got him!” she assured her friend.

Mai’s relieved expression was immediately ruined by the returning boomerang colliding directly with her back. “AGH!” she moaned, her hands dropping to clutch at her injury, giving Jet just enough time to sprint to safety, scooping up his weapons as he went.

“Good thinking,” he nodded to Zuko.

“We’re not out of it yet,” Zuko said, watching carefully as Ty Lee rushed to Mai’s side. 

“Mai, are you okay?” The acrobat helped her partner gingerly to her feet. Mai winced in pain.

Jet spun to Zuko bewilderedly. “Did she just say,  _ Mai _ ?” 

***

_ The worst of it is over. It has to be over. Right?  _

The world was out of focus, a blur of light and not light, and shapes that vaguely made sense. The agonizing sensation of her essence being pulled out of her was gone, all that remained was a strange contradiction of emptiness and heaviness. 

Katara fought with everything she had to roll her head to the side to watch Hama do her work, but all she could make out was a glow. A glow she knew well. The glow of a waterbender healing. At least she was still capable of that much thought. It meant as awful as she felt she likely wasn’t dead. For now. 

Her skin was coated in a faint, cold sheen of sweat from the pain of moments before… Everything in her screamed exhaustion. Her eyes were just beginning to drift shut when a shadow blocked the light of the moon. The cloud looked almost like…  _ Appa?  _

“Hama,” she whispered. “ _ Hama _ .”

The woman had stilled and was no longer intent on the stone basin holding Katara’s infected blood. 

From the direction of the hut came a sound like a heavy sigh --a rush of air. A portion of sky turned a brilliant deep orange, then faded to purple. The unusual colors were gone in a matter of seconds, but Katara’s confusion remained. 

She thought she could hear voices shouting. Her stomach twisted uneasily. “What was that?”

Hama’s gaze held on the hut for a moment before falling back to the basin. She kept her back to her patient as the glow of her healing resumed. “Don’t worry. We are nearly there.”

_ Nearly there…  _

***

“Who are these girls? What do friends of your sister want with Aang?” 

Zuko refused to face Jet. Not when Ty Lee was giving him a frown that was somehow both child-like poutiness and a frightening level of anger. “We can talk about this later… Right now we need to keep Katara --and Aang- safe.”

“We’ve got them outnumbered and one of them is injured. We’ll be fine.”

“Don’t underestimate them,” Zuko insisted as Ty Lee slowly released her support of Mai, who wobbled unsteadily for a moment. 

“What do you want to do?” Jet’s blades flashed silver in the moonlight. 

_ It would be simplest to overwhelm them. Kill them. _ It’s what Azula would do no doubt and Aang wasn’t there to argue against that decision. Still, Zuko knew he was incapable of such violence... Ty Lee was older, but in her face he still saw the giggling child who had tumbled again and again in the soft green grass of the royal gardens. And Mai… She regarded him coldly now, but her dark eyes were still the same eyes that had regarded him shyly as she leaned in to press her lips to his…

“Zuko?” Jet glanced at him, then turned back to Mai who, though clearly in pain, was steadily circling closer and closer to her former captive. Ty Lee was also beginning to slide forward. 

“We’ll take them prisoner. Then we can decide as a group what to do.”

“I have rope in my bag,” Sokka called weakly, his face still pressed into dirt, his limbs tangled from his collapse. 

“Hurry this up, Sparky,” Toph said shakily. She had managed to crawl to the shelter of a nearby boulder and was slumped against it for reassurance. 

Mai gave a determined snarl and tossed several knives in Jet’s direction, one just barely grazing his cheek and leaving a thin line of blood to match the one on his neck. 

“Hey! Anything but the face!” Jet ran in her direction while Zuko sprinted for Sokka’s bag. Mai responded by drawing --seemingly from thin air- a long dagger which she used to parry his next attack and stab at his upper thigh. “Okay not that either…” Jet amended, inhaling sharply.

Zuko slid the rest of the distance to Sokka’s bag and dumped its contents to the ground. His hand had just seized the rope when Ty Lee landed a stinging blow to his left arm. It immediately lost all sensation, flopping uselessly at his side. 

He rolled awkwardly away before she could catch him again, shooting a short burst of flame in her direction to delay her chase. 

“I think you’ve become lighter on your feet, good for you,” Ty Lee commented airily. “Have you been dancing? That’s good practice dancing.” 

The girl twirled towards him gracefully, cloak swirling about her in a rustle of fabric. Zuko leapt sideways clutching his chi-blocked arm as Ty Lee flipped to his right --nose crinkling in frustration when she just missed his shoulder.

For a split second his attention was drawn away from the enemy when Jet gave a short, startled cry --a clever move by Mai causing him to drop one of his hooks. A split second was all Ty Lee needed to find an opening in Zuko’s defense and land a solid kick to his other arm. 

Zuko swore as his fingers went slack and the rope slipped from their grasp, dropping just in time to avoid what would have been a devastating kick to his head. He struggled to recover his balance without the use of his arms, nearly toppling into the dirt as he slid away from his intent pursuer. He was beginning to fear that the battle was nearing its end --and that the outcome would not be in their favor. 

Suddenly Ty Lee’s attention flashed towards the door of the hut, but the only people left inside would be...  _ Hama and Katara, no, no, no no.  _ Zuko threw himself at her, desperate to keep her from walking towards the door.

They landed in a painful knocking of limbs, Ty Lee frantically shoving him away and rising to her feet. Without the use of his arms Zuko struggled to do the same. He tipped onto his back seeing first stars and then his opponent’s smug face as the girl prepared to render the rest of his limbs useless. 

He pulled his legs in towards his chest in preparation --out of options- cringing at the thought of releasing fire from them. Fire that would burn Ty Lee’s talented, nimble legs.  _ I can’t do it… I can’t…  _ Zuko began to lower his legs, cursing himself for Azula besting him again --even if by proxy. Cursing himself for failing team Avatar  _ again  _ in the short time he had been with them...

Zuko blinked, and suddenly Ty Lee was gone, her weight ripped off of him. 

***

The tentacle of water wrapped around the girl and Katara  _ pulled,  _ yanking her away from Zuko with all her might. His slack-jawed, awed response made her laugh. “Thank me later!” she called, and wanted to laugh again for joy at the strength in her voice. 

It had not been pleasant having blood pulled from her body and placed back in again --in fact it had been decidedly beyond even her worst nightmares- but it had been worth it. The moment Hama had finished Katara had felt a surge of energy rush through her like she had not had in days. A surge of energy made even more powerful by the light of the moon raining down upon her. 

She had barely managed a thank you before sprinting around to the front of the hut, following the sound of the fighting. Just in time too.  _ What  _ would  _ they do without me?  _ she asked herself, quickly eyeing the scene as her watery limb tossed Zuko’s attacker to the side. 

Toph was sheltered behind a boulder and seemed unhurt. Sokka was in an undignified heap with his face turned away from her, his condition unclear. Katara ran to her brother first, lifting him from the dirt and propping him against a wall. His smile at the sight of her convinced her he was at least not seriously injured and a quick wave of healing water over his arms confirmed her assumption. And yet… “Your chi is blocked, that’s why your muscles are paralyzed. How is that possible? Who did this to you?”

“First of all, good to see you. Second, you just threw her across the field so I wouldn’t worry too much about Toph and I just now, but the other one has all these knives and she’s already held a knife to Jet’s throat once today…”

Katara spun to observe Jet, sweaty, panting, and quickly tiring fending off a sullen-faced girl. She was relentlessly hunting for an opening in Jet’s defense with a calm determination that was hard not to admire --especially as she appeared to be maintaining the upper-hand in a match where she was battling a talented swordsman with a glorified knife. 

To the side of the clashing blades the girl Katara had found standing over Zuko was pushing herself up and preparing to enter the mayhem again. Determined to end the fight and begin attending to her friends, Katara gathered more water from the pond and bent it into a second tentacle, then stretched an elemental limb towards each of the two enemies. As she drew the water back towards her, both girls began writhing against the entrapment and shouting angrily. Katara increased the pressure of her hold. 

She glanced at Zuko, surprised he had not yet come to help, and watched as he brought his knees to his chest, kicking up and outwards till his feet hit the ground.  _ Show off,  _ she thought, as she followed his eyes skyward to Appa’s circling form. 

“Appa! Aang!” Zuko shouted, and the sky-bison looped back towards earth, landing with a heavy thud.

Aang was shaking as he crawled down from Appa’s back in a way that frightened Katara. “My bending…” She fought the urge to rush to him, concentrating instead on restraining the ambushers. 

“It’ll come back, just like your ability to move your arms,” Zuko assured him. “It just takes longer.” Katara observed that as he walked towards them his own limbs remained still by his side.

Jet approached with Toph and a length of rope in his arms. After setting the earthbender beside Sokka he set about carefully knotting the rope around the two girls. When he was done he nodded to Katara and she returned the water she had been using to its home in the pond. Her muscles ached after the surge of activity following days of little to no use, but she refused to let it show.  _ They’ve worried enough about me.  _

“Is everyone okay?” Katara asked.

She was shocked by Zuko’s short, incredulous laugh. 

“What?”

“Nothing, just… You’re the one who was barely breathing an hour ago.”

“Well, Hama’s extremely skilled,” Katare replied indignantly. “Aang? Toph?”

“My feet… All I feel is pins and needles.” 

Katara bent beside the earthbender and examined her for injury, but just as with Sokka, there was not a mark on her.

“Like I said, it’s temporary,” Zuko murmured gently. Katara glanced up at him and saw in his eyes what Toph could only hear in his voice: sincere concern and empathy. 

“I’m fine too, thanks for asking,” Jet commented, wiping at his cheek and smearing blood across his face from a small cut. 

“You’re still standing, so I assumed as much.”

“No thanks to this one,” Jet said, crouching beside the girl he had been fighting till they were face to face. “Tell me you don’t have any more weapons on you.”

The girl replied in an almost bored tone. “I don’t have any more weapons on me.”

“Mai, right?” Jet leaned closer. “I’m going to need the rest of your knives. I’ve had enough of getting sliced for one night.”

The girl --Mai- pursed her lips and tilted her nose to the air defiantly. 

Zuko stepped forward with a sigh. “Up her sleeves. And usually one lashed to each ankle.”

Katara turned in confusion to him. “How did you--”

“Friends of my sister. Mai and Ty Lee,” he told her flatly, pointing to each one respectively. She could tell he was avoiding her gaze by how intently he stared as Jet carefully removed the remaining blades from Mai’s person --there seemed an impossible amount. 

“Reinforcements will be here any moment,” Mai declared loudly. “You can tie us up for now, but you’ll be outnumbered shortly and then we’ll be taking the Avatar to the Princess of the Fire Nation.”

“I can’t… I can’t tell if she’s lying.” Toph had slowly stretched her feet till the soles touched the ground and was frowning in frustration. 

“You’re bluffing.” Zuko was staring at Mai, his expression so carefully guarded he may as well have been wearing the Blue Spirit mask.

“What if I’m not? Can you really afford to take that risk? Look at what just the two of us managed to do to you. Six fighters --four of whom are benders.”

“You caught us off guard, you tricked me,” Aang huffed. 

Mai’s slender shoulders managed just the slightest rise and fall against the pressure of their restraints. “I think if your waterbender friend hadn’t showed up we’d be having a different conversation.”

Katara glanced back at her brother who was slowly rising from the ground and caught sight of Hama and Yurai emerging from their home. Hama, exhausted from her healing duties, was walking with a tall stick to aid her. “Is everyone okay?” 

“I think so…” Katara looked to each of her friends, catching Zuko’s eyes last and holding them for a moment before shifting her focus back to their prisoners. 

“Two old ladies aren’t going to help you win against a Fire Nation army,” the girl named Ty Lee pointed out. 

“Mind your mouth, girl,” Hama snapped, though Katara had to admit, bender or not, the healer would be no use in a fight in her current condition. 

Jet tossed one of Mai’s knives experimentally, admiring the balance of the blade. “What do we do?” 

Zuko’s eyes followed the movement.  _ Something about this girl…  _ Katara quickly looked away when the firebender seemed to notice her stare. 

“We can’t risk it. We have to go,” Sokka said grimly. 

“We could wait for my feet to get back to normal. Then we’ll know if she’s lying.”

“No, Sokka’s right. We can’t risk it. By the time your lie-detecting abilities are back it could be too late…” Aang looked to Katara with a smile. “At least you’re feeling better.”

“Yeah, at least…” The waterbender looked to their hosts. “You’ll have to come with us! It’s not safe for you to stay here.”

Hama shook her head. “No, my girl, no. The Fire Nation will not remove me from my home again. Besides, the sky-bison would not be able to carry all of us.”

Aang made a small sound of concern. “I’m not even sure he can carry more than six of us very far. Which means…”   


“What will we do with you?” Zuko could not seem to look away from Mai and Ty Lee.

_ His sister’s friends…  _ Katara reminded herself, tearing her own eyes away from that particular spot on his chest. The one that always reminded her of the cruelty Zuko’s sibling was capable of. She wondered what sort of people would be friends with such a person. 

“Let the army arrive to rescue us.”

Jet wiggled a stolen knife in Mai’s direction, “Or not.” 

Katara recognized her brother’s thinking face. Even when he was younger he had always had the same comical lift of an eyebrow that turned quickly into a scowl of concentration. Next would be the lifting of a hand to his chin right before... “We can set them part way on the path to the village. If a troop is coming they’ll come from that direction, right, girls?” He glared in their direction. “The army will find you and you can come immediately after us. You’ll leave these two kind women alone, won’t you? Because you can’t waste a second on them when the Avatar will be getting further and further away... We’ll even tell you what direction to go in: Ba Sing Se. That shouldn't be news to you --of course we’re going there. To warn the Earth King of the Fire Nation’s plan.” 

Aang nodded slowly. “That’s as good of a plan as any. Let’s collect our things. Toph can you walk?” 

“I’ll come help you…” She shuffled after the airbender on unsteady legs. 

“Katara,” Hama beckoned.

A pang tore through her heart as she approached the elder and bowed her head respectfully. When she spoke she was surprised to find her voice warbled, and stray tears wandered down her face. “There was so much I was hoping you could teach me.”

Hama placed a hand beneath her chin and applied a light pressure until Katara lifted her head. “You have no idea the hope you have given me --another waterbender in the Southern Water Tribe… And you’re so young, and so strong, and with a good heart. Thank Tui your life was not taken by something as fickle as an infection.”

“Fickle?” Katara laughed, recalling the excruciating pain and delirium of the past few days.

“For you? I think so,” Hama smiled. “It would take more than that to deter you from your mission.” 

Katara looked around at her friends. Behind them Yurai was having a serious conversation with Jet who was wiping at his eyes as he accepted a small package from her. The woman embraced him like a son and pulled away, patting his cheek fondly and imparting what were no doubt some final words of wisdom. Sokka was helping Aang and Toph with loading the items they had emerged from the hut with. And Zuko…

She checked over her shoulder for a moment. He was taking turns rubbing each of his arms fully back to life and standing watch over his sister’s friends --a strange look on his face that she could not quite place. 

“He is from the same family that took mine away from me and locked me in a Fire Nation cell,” Hama murmured darkly. 

Katara looked away from Zuko and back to the waterbender. “Does family always have to be who you are born to?” she asked quietly. “Does he have to bear that burden?”

“No... but he will.”

“His sister nearly killed him…”

“I did not say he has to, I said he  _ will _ . That is the choice he has made… Thanks to you.”

Katara’s brows pressed together in confusion.

“You used the power of the Spirits to bring that boy back. You changed his destiny --and yours- forever. He will use the chance he has been given to help this world with all the evil done by those to whom he owes his blood.”

“Okay…” Somehow discovering the Avatar in a block of ice had been simpler than anything surrounding Zuko. From spirit water, to spirits in the Secret Tunnel, to the Blue Spirit, to whatever this was, it would seem he was a channel for the mystical nearly as much as Aang. 

“But enough of him. You too, have a great destiny…” Hama reached to grab something from within the bag at her side and pressed it quickly into Katara’s hands. Between the warmth of their palms pressing together Katara could feel thin pieces of paper. 

“I have no children of my own,” Hama continued, “but I am proud to entrust my knowledge to you. Remember what I said: that this skill can be used to bring light  _ or  _ darkness. I know you will take great care with it --though I regret not being able to share my knowledge and guide you in person through the challenges ahead.” 

She lifted her hand away leaving Katara with a small stack of papers, hand-bound together with a thin strand of blue string, the same color as Katara’s own clothing.

“Hama…” There weren’t words, and even if there were Katara was certain she would not be able to squeeze them out past the lump of emotion that had developed in her throat. 

Instead, she carefully placed the notebook in her bag and bowed again to Hama. When she lifted her head again the healer was smiling sadly, just as Gran Gran had the day she had said goodbye to them. Homesickness had never struck Katara quite so acutely. She stepped forward and hugged Hama tightly, saying a silent prayer to the spirits that she would see her again --the only other waterbender of her tribe. 

“Thank you,” Katara said softly, before turning and walking towards the others all gathered by Mai and Ty Lee. 

Aang was still without his airbending and he, Toph, Jet and Sokka were all arguing about how best to get the prisoners onto Appa. None of them noticed Katara --the only member of their group currently with her bending in tact- watching, waiting for them to use their minds properly.

“Are you okay?” Zuko asked quietly, his breath tickling her ear. 

Of course he had noticed. He always seemed to. Katara’s mouth twisted in amusement. “Thanks to Hama, I'm doing great. How are you? This must be hard… Your fr--uh-”. She corrected herself, “your sister’s friends.”

Zuko shook his head. “We’re Fire Nation --I  _ was  _ Fire Nation. They probably won’t be the last familiar faces I have to fight... We need to get moving.”

But Katara’s chest grew heavy at the bitterness in his tone --what would it be like if she were pitted against Sokka or Aang? As with most of the circumstances in Zuko’s life, it was beyond her imagination. She tried to steady him with a hand on his shoulder. “Zuko…”

“Ready, Katara?” 

She pulled her hand away quickly. Aang had come to stand by her side, Momo perched on his shoulder. By some miracle they had managed to load the prisoners onto Appa. Katara envisioned that there had likely been some jostling involved and much shouting from Jet and Sokka in particular, but she had heard none of it, lost in her urge to console Zuko. 

“Yeah… Yeah, I’m ready.” 

Aang walked away and Katara turned to Zuko again, but he was already gone, attempting to soothe the nerves of an increasingly embittered Toph. 

Katara sighed. It didn’t matter anyways. He wasn’t Aang confronted with an enormous and heavy, but beautiful destiny of hope and light. He was lost, grappling with demons, with his own conscience. What could she possibly say to him to make him feel better that she hadn’t already? It was all so much easier said than done,  _ but if anyone can do it _ , she was beginning to think,  _ it’s Zuko.  _

***

Zuko still could not decide if they were doing the right thing… What if there was no army on its way? Or what if there was and Mai and Ty Lee were not the people he thought they still might be and they marched towards Hama and Yurai and destroyed their home just for sheltering the Avatar and a Fire Nation traitor?

“You made the right decision…” 

Zuko twisted to stare at Mai. She had always had a knack for guessing his thoughts. He just hadn’t thought that after three years she would still be able to. 

“You’ve got to stop second guessing yourself if you’re going to beat Azula, you know.”

“Mai!” Ty Lee protested. 

“Don’t worry, Ty Lee. He won’t do it. He’s never been sure of anything. Not me, not himself, not capturing the Avatar…”

It was vitriol Zuko had not expected. Not from her. Not even if they were on opposing sides of a war. Perhaps her patience had gotten even thinner with time. She sounded almost like...  _ Azula. _ “People can change.”

A thin eyebrow rose in doubt. “You’re the last person I would expect a statement like that from.”

“You don’t know me anymore. Not like you think you do…”

Appa was descending on an open section of road a few miles from Hama and Yurai’s hut and the village. “I think I do… Even under the circumstances, Zuko, I’ll admit, it was good seeing you.”

“Quit teasing me.”

“I’m not. It was. And it will be good to see you again soon,” she said, with a sly smirk to Ty Lee. 

“Oh, oh! My bending is back!” Aang called excitedly, floating himself off of Appa’s back. Zuko was grateful for the interruption. 

“Ugh, why can’t I earthbend?” Toph groaned. 

“The Avatar might recover more quickly… Sorry, Toph,” Katara sympathized, giving her friend’s shoulder a brief squeeze. Toph pulled away in response hiding a small smile. 

Zuko pointed to Ty Lee and Mai. “Airbend them out of here…”  _ The sooner the better,  _ he thought, ignoring Mai’s stare.

Jet had crawled over and was flashing the knives he had taken from Mai. “These are mine now.”

“Until I take them back.”

“Is that a challenge?”

“Absolutely,” Mai said darkly just before Aang airbent her and Ty Lee down onto the road. 

Jet gave a taunting wave. “Till next time then.”

“Whatever.” 

The pair grew smaller and smaller as Appa once again took to the air, until they were out of sight along with the rest of the earth. Zuko finally felt himself begin to breathe properly again and with the breathing came the slow return of his firebending --a heat running through his veins. He relaxed against the saddle, tilting his head back to the sky with a relieved sigh. 

The night was so clear, he thought if he just reached out a hand he might be able to touch the stars, but even if he could, he did not think he was worthy of the honor. Not yet. 

Maybe in all the eternity they had spent watching the world they could offer him guidance. Maybe they could teach him. If he could just talk to them, the little spirits, maybe he could apologize for all they had witnessed. For all his family had done, for his own mistakes...

But they burned in memory of all the good in the world and he burned for remembering all the bad in his own. 

_ If only we could understand each other...  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Super exciting that as of this update I'm over 100 pages into this fic (no idea how that happened!!)  
> As always comments, kudos etc. are much appreciated and super motivating going into the next chapter, but even if you're still with me and reading and wanting to read more I am so grateful! <3


	8. Chapter 8

“I know you’re nervous, but remember, firebending in and of itself is not something to fear.”

Katara looked from Aang --chewing his lip nervously- to Zuko, facing the Avatar, arms crossed. It was the third attempt at teaching Zuko had made over the past week. He hadn’t said this exact line before, but he had started each lesson with a similar sentiment. She would know. She had been hovering nearby, unseen, each time Aang and Zuko had met for practice. 

It wasn’t that she didn’t think Zuko was capable, it was just that she recalled how Toph’s initial lessons had gone and knew Aang to be particularly discouraged about firebending. Katara feared if pushed too far Aang would give up on it altogether. 

“Okay,” Aang sighed. “Not something to fear.” This too, had been said before.

Zuko gave an approving nodd. “But if you don’t respect it…  _ It’ll chew you up and spit you out like an angry komodo rhino!” _

It was Katara’s turn to sigh as she watched Aang flinch at Zuko’s words. She fought the urge to comment on the firebenders approach --having learned her lesson with Toph, that each teacher simply had their own unique style. Admittedly Zuko was… still finding his. 

At least this time she was not hiding in the trees wincing at the awkwardness of the pair. Zuko had surprised her earlier that day when he had approached her and asked if she would attend the night’s lesson. “He might be more willing to try with you around, Katara,” Zuko had commented, glancing shyly at her as he rubbed the back of his neck. “It’s at least worth a shot, right?”

She had not mentioned that she had been attending lessons all along, but of course she had agreed. If she was being honest she was flattered Zuko valued her opinion enough to consult her on teaching strategy. No one else in their group carried themselves with the same humility with which he had approached her, and she found it intriguing given that he was, after all, a prince. 

“Now, focus on your breathing…” Zuko demonstrated with a deep inhale. 

The boys were practicing shirtless to avoid ruining more clothes --Katara had already hastily repaired several burn holes in Aang’s robes throughout the week. She tried to focus on what Zuko was saying --on the water in the creek behind her, waiting should she need it- but her eyes drifted to the muscles in the firebender’s core, tightening as he held his breath for a moment. 

He looked much healthier now than he had when he had first joined the group. With the help of consistent meals --Katara never let anyone miss one if she could help it- a formerly skeletal frame had transformed into a lithe figure. _ And when did his hair grow out? _ She had missed some of these changes amongst the daily chaos of their journey. 

“Sorry, Sifu Hotman!” 

Katara blinked rapidly, clearing her dazedness. Aang had hesitated mid-punch again and Zuko had been unable to conceal a low groan of frustration.

“Don’t call me that!” he flared. “Just… Just.” His eyes darted to Katara for a moment and he let his fists unclench and the frustration slip from his shoulders. “Aang, you can do this. Try again.”

“Hey, jerks. Mind if I watch you two jerks do your jerk-bending?” 

“Sokka!” Katara growled, elbowing her brother sharply as he sat down beside her on the log. “Get out of here!” She lowered her voice when Aang looked over. “Aang is really nervous --you know that. The less eyes the better. I thought you, Jet, and Toph were going to make dinner tonight while I supervised the lesson?”

Her brother shrugged. “Jet seemed to have it under control. Something about a recipe Yurai taught him?”

“And Toph?” 

“I don’t know where she went…” Sokka looked around.

“You thought I’d miss the show?” Toph called, emerging from behind a nearby rock.

Katara caught the change in Aang’s posture, the slight curve of his spine as he began to slump. He looked less and less sure by the second. 

“Get out of here!” Zuko repeated her words before she could. “Firebending takes a lot of concentration. We don’t need distractions.”

“Okay! Take it easy. I was just kidding around.” 

“Like  _ you’re _ not a distraction,” Toph grumbled to Katara as she followed Sokka back towards the campsite. 

“ _ What was that you said? _ ”

“Nothing, nothing,” Toph replied, batting at the air with a loose hand. “Just try not to get lost in each other’s eyes --or, you know, his pecs.”

“I don't know what you’re talking about,” Katara huffed.  _ We’re all concentrating. Aang’s barely even looked at me and I’ve been paying attention to…  _ She was grateful no eyes were upon her as she realized just where her focus had been before the interruption. 

Zuko waited for Toph and Sokka’s chatter to fade completely before turning back to Aang. “Okay, try again.”

The monk shook his head. “I’m sorry, Zuko. I can’t.”

“What do you mean you can’t? You  _ have  _ to! Are you the Avatar or not?!” 

“I can be the Avatar without firebending!”

“You won’t stand a chance against my sister or my father without it!”

“I did just fine against  _ you! _ ”

Katara leapt to her feet and wedged herself between the two boys just as Zuko was preparing to lunge. She placed a hand on each fuming participant of the shouting match, pressing on Zuko’s chest first, then reaching for Aang’s shoulder. She pulled the airbender to the side with a backwards glance of warning at Zuko not to follow. 

Katara wiped the palm that had touched Zuko’s bare skin against her leg, but the memory of his warmth was not so easily removed, nor the memory of the texture of his scar tissue. Of all the places her hand could have landed... 

She shook her head, frustrated with herself.  _ Focus.  _ “Aang,” she said quietly. 

He turned away from her, face grim. 

“Aang, I know you’re afraid, but Zuko’s right. You need to learn firebending. Isn’t that part of why he joined us in the first place?”

“He can stay, but…” Katara followed his gaze to where Zuko was collecting his shirt, head hung low in disappointment. “I  _ hurt  _ you, Katara --and you got hurt again. You were so sick… That’s what fire does. It  _ hurts _ .”

“I’m better now.”

“Exactly! What are you doing here? You should stay as far away from this training as possible.”

Katara sighed. “Aang, Zuko thought my being here would  _ help.  _ That way if anything happened I could use my bending to heal or extinguish any accidental fires.”

“It’s not  _ me  _ I’m worried about --and I can waterbend too!”

“Fine. Then I’m here to support you as a friend. As someone who cares about you. Someone who believes in you.” 

The sound of the stream running beside them was the only sound for a long while, until at last Aang tore his eyes away from his feet to meet hers. 

“You really think I can do it?”

“You know I do, but you don’t have to do it alone. I’m here to help you -- and Zuko is too.” 

He smiled after a moment. “Thanks, Katara… You always know just what to say.” 

She responded with a brief, tight squeeze when he wrapped his arms around her. “So,” she pulled away, “time to keep training?” 

She turned to look for Zuko, but his shirt was gone from the rock he had set it upon, and he had already melted away --retreating into the dark of the trees at twilight.

***

“What are you reading?” 

Zuko hastily shoved the papers he had taken from amongst Yurai’s souvenirs into his bag. “Nothing.”

Jet shrugged. “Fine. Don’t tell me about it. Tell me about why your sister’s friends want the Avatar.”

“Not this again…” 

More than a week had passed since the night Katara had been healed and they had started on the way to Ba Sing Se again and every day Jet had demanded the same answers. The same answers that Zuko felt certain would break their --friendship? He wasn’t sure what to call it. What did one call it when you established a relatively positive connection with someone whose life your family ruined?  _ At what point am I no longer the enemy? When I teach the Avatar to firebend properly? _

If that was the case, Zuko was inclined to believe he would be as grey as his uncle by the time his status officially changed. He was no closer to teaching the Avatar firebending than Momo or Appa.  _ Maybe they’d have better luck,  _ Zuko thought darkly. 

He was especially discouraged today, the memories of the night before still fresh. Still painful. Not only had Aang failed to produce so much as a puff of smoke after hours of training, he had nearly quit.  _ If it hadn’t been for Katara… _ He recalled the ease with which she had broken up their argument. Recalled how as soon as it was just her and Aang the airbender had instantly grown calmer… 

The emotion Zuko had seen in Aang’s eyes as he listened to the waterbender had been the worst part of the entire experience. He had seen in them emotions he knew he could never allow to be seen in his own. They would only cause more pain. They would be a betrayal to the Avatar. They would ruin his shot at redemption.  _ And they’d probably be unwanted anyways…  _

“Seriously, what are you hiding?”

Zuko groaned, “Jet, please, just--”

“Come  _ on  _ what is it?”

Annoyed, Zuko replied flatly, “My father’s the Fire Lord.”

Jet stared at him a moment before breaking into laughter, slapping his back heartily. “Yeah, okay, whatever, man --very funny. You won’t tell me? Fine. I’m going to go play ‘you spot’ with Toph.”

Zuko released the breath he had been holding as Jet inched away from him and tried to distract himself by listening to the conversation that followed between the rebel and the earthbender.

‘You spot’ was a game Toph had developed after repeatedly reminding Jet that she, in fact,  _ could not  _ see whatever he was pointing at as they flew aboard Appa. It was Jet’s job to spot something and describe it to her and Toph’s job to guess what he was describing. 

“It’s solid. Feels cold. It’s sharp. Smells like…” 

“Not the knife again, pick something else!” 

“I can’t help it, my eyes always wander to it. It’s a beautiful knife.”

“Why are non-benders so weird about weapons? You sound like Sokka with his boomerang…” 

“Watch out, I think Jet wants to recruit you to join his Freedom Fighters --he seems to really like you.”

Zuko had not noticed Katara seating herself beside him. He glanced at her before saying, “He wouldn’t if he knew who I really am.”

“I know who you really are.”

“And?” 

She bumped her shoulder playfully against his. “And what you’re talking about --what Jet doesn’t know about you- isn’t  _ all _ of who you are.”

“What about the rest of me?”

“It’s not so bad,” she teased. “Anyways, what  _ were  _ you reading?” 

“Ah, um.” A smile slipped from his face. He wasn’t sure how to describe the Fire Nation texts and even if he could he wasn’t sure what her reaction would be. 

“I’ll tell you if you tell me.” There was a rustle as the pages of a small handbound book she held up were flipped by the breeze blowing across Appa’s back.

Zuko quickly scanned the group. Aang was steering Appa, Sokka was napping with Momo curled on his chest, and Toph and Jet remained distracted by their game. He slowly pulled the sealed papers from his bag and offered them to Katara. “I found them amongst Yurai’s things --where I found the dao blades.”

Her eyes widened as her fingers lightly ghosted over the wax insignia. She looked back at him and he realized she was asking permission to unfold the paper. He assented with a small nodd.

Katara squinted at the faded text. “That’s strange… These almost look like waterbending movements.”

“Really?” Zuko leaned closer, peering over her shoulder to where her finger pointed at the barely visible outline of an arm. The wind blew a strand of her hair against his cheek, tickling it --a similar sensation echoed in his chest. 

“See the extension of the arms here? It’s similar to my water whips --from what I can tell anyways… I wonder where Yurai got these.”

“I wondered the same thing.” He paused before adding, “Katara, I, er, well, just so you know I didn’t exactly ask permission before taking them.” He held his breath, waiting for disapproval, disappointment. 

Instead, there was only a small frown, as though she had not even heard his confession. Her eyes were fixed on a particular portion of the papers. “Zuko...the other day when you were sparring with Jet...”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” He pulled away from her, but Katara quickly placed her hand on his wrist to prevent further retreat.

“You didn’t slip, did you?... It was the lightning.”

“You told me you would tell me what you’re reading,” Zuko reminded her, refusing to meet her searching eyes.

She waited for a moment, clearly hoping he might change his mind and tell her more about what had happened that day. When he remained quiet she finally spoke, “If you help me with my training, maybe I can help you with yours.”

“Training? What training? With Aang I--”

Katara shook her head. “No, no, this has nothing to do with Aang. Please.” Frustrated with his unwillingness to look at her she placed a hand on his cheek ----his breath caught, he hoped she did not notice- and pulled his head around to face her. “I think we can help each other.”

She handed him the notebook. “It’s Hama’s,” she explained as he leafed through the pages. “It’s everything she knows about…” She lowered her voice. “About,  _ bloodbending _ .”

“Bloodbending?” Zuko whispered.

“It’s how she healed me. It was incredible, Zuko. I mean, incredibly painful, but still… I think it could make me a better healer.”

She bore such a hopeful expression.  _ Bending blood.  _ It sounded insane, frightening even, but as usual he found himself unable to turn away from the brightness in her eyes --the resolve. He couldn’t explain why, but he instinctively trusted it, trusted her and her leadership. “Okay, how can I help?”

“I’m not sure yet... Thank you. I didn’t know who else to tell. I didn’t think Sokka, Aang or Toph would understand this kind of power. It’s a power that could easily be abused --Hama said so herself- but I know  _ I  _ can do good with it.”

“What made you think I would understand it? Why tell me?”

“‘Fire in it of itself is not something to fear’,” she quoted, smiling softly.

He held her gaze for a moment, unable to find words. After yesterday’s lesson he had begun to feel as though he were the worst firebending teacher to ever walk the earth, but Katara had found something he said to be worth repeating. She likely did not realize the significance of this, how it had renewed his determination to teach the Avatar firebending.  _ If it’s the last thing I ever do. _

She was the first to look away, redirecting her stare to his chest. “Lightning bending.”

He blinked in surprise. “What?” 

“In these pages...”

“Oh. Yeah, I think so.” His hand moved to the scar, his fingers briefly moving along the fine web where the lightning had danced tauntingly across his skin. 

“Eventually you’re going to have to face your sister again, and I don’t think I can bring you back from death by lightning twice, so, please --let me teach you these movements?” She tapped the pages still held in her hands. “I swear, they’re  _ waterbending  _ movements. I can interpret what these drawings are supposed to be.”

“Katara, I’d never be able to strike first. Even with all your help she’d still be a better bender than me. She always has been.”

“But that’s not what these movements are about, look at this last picture.”

Zuko’s eyes briefly darted to where her finger rested, on the final figure or the sequence with the lightning shooting out of each hand. He shivered and was beginning to turn away when he caught Katara tapping the center of the bender depicted. 

“It’s faint, but can you see it? Running right alongside the lightning...”

Fine lines ran beneath the element into a small circle in the middle of the bender’s body and back out. “Something passing  _ through  _ the bender.”

“Exactly.” 

She grinned as he turned to her in sudden understanding and Zuko feared his cheeks were about to emit flames with how quickly they warmed. 

“I can teach you to  _ redirect  _ lightning using the same principles of energy waterbenders follow!” she said excitedly. “Zuko... You won’t have to be afraid anymore.”

Their hands touched as he handed her Hama’s notebook in exchange for the Fire Nation texts. 

_ No,  _ he thought, imagining what it would be like to fail her.  _ I still have so much to fear.  _

***

Hama’s notebook was a bleak read. Amongst the fundamentals of waterbending as it translated to bloodbending were the healer’s personal retellings of how she had come to discover bloodbending. It was a tale of heartbreak, desperation, bravery, and a fierce will to  _ survive _ and take back what had been stolen.

Tears pooled in Katara’s eyes as she reread the passage describing Hama’s first attempts at bloodbending on elephant rats. She had already devoured the entirety of the notebook and so she knew that the manipulation of innocent creatures was only the beginning of Hama’s path to freedom, but this moment contained an essential description of how to feel for the elemental tug of water within the blood. From what Katara could gather, bloodbending was  _ only  _ possible if a waterbender had a strong connection with their element, an ability to sense it even when it was not obviously present. In prison, Hama had discovered water in blood, but she also described how a bender might find it in their own sweat, in moist air, even in plants. 

It had been Zuko’s suggestion to study their texts further before beginning any sort of practice, but his papers were a purely instructional work --Katara grappled with the larger context of Hama’s journal each time she opened it. It weighed especially heavy on her mind tonight. 

“Katara, are you watching?” Aang asked nervously. 

A routine had started up where each night while dinner was prepared and camp was set Toph, Zuko, and Katara rotated who would work with Aang on his bending. It was once again Zuko’s turn, and as with previous attempts, Aang was a hesitant participant. 

Katara shut the pages of the notebook and its contents from her mind. “I’m watching!” 

But Zuko was shaking his head in defeat. “This isn’t working...”

“I’m sorry. I’m ready now, Sifu Hotman.” Aang bent his knees, adjusted the position of his raised arms, and took a deep breath. 

Zuko ran a hand through his hair in frustration, leaving pieces of it sticking up in odd directions. Katara fought the laugh that threatened to break at the sight with a shaky exhale. There were times that she was certain Zuko had forgotten his hair had grown back. 

The firebender had begun pacing, ignoring Aang’s insistence that he was prepared to try the move again. With each passing second Katara grew more anxious that the scene from a few nights ago was about to repeat itself, but Zuko’s face bore no signs of irritation. He was deep in thought. 

A minute later he snapped his fingers enthusiastically --harmless sparks flying from them much to Katara’s amusement. “I’ll be right back.” 

He walked off in the direction of the campsite. Katara shrugged at the confused look Aang gave her. 

Zuko returned with a teapot which he promptly shoved into Aang’s hands. “My uncle always brewed the tea. Too little fire and the water won’t boil. Too much and the leaves will burn when you put them in. You’re afraid of losing control. This is an exercise in control. So, we’ll start here, and we won’t practice anything else until you can make a perfect cup of tea and then you’ll know you’re capable of control.”

Aang nodded slowly and followed Zuko in assuming a cross legged position on the ground. He cupped the teapot carefully in his palms and shut his eyes at Zuko’s instruction.

Zuko’s voice was gentle, barely carrying to Katara’s ears. “Focus on your breathing. Feel how you control the release of that energy? It’s the same with firebending. Try to warm the water.”

A few gentle flames rose from Aang’s hands, tickling the teapot. His eyes flew open in surprise. “I did it! I did it, Zuko --look, fire!”

Katara smiled.  _ Good idea, Zuko.  _

As though he could hear her thoughts the firebender had turned to her, the corner of his mouth lifting as his eyes met hers. 

***

The clouds were turning an ominous grey and Zuko could see nothing else. He knew what clouds like that meant and despite Katara’s promise to help him gain control over his fear, his heart rate had accelerated and his hands were shaking.  _ Lightning.  _

There was a thickness to the air, a tension, that summoned his sister’s face to his mind, flashing as the element began to crackle around her, cold and determined as she prepared to unleash it.

The wind had also risen steadily throughout the morning and now it pulled with such determination Zuko feared they might all fly off of Appa’s back. “Aang,” he shouted over the howl of the angry air. “Maybe we should land until this storm passes!”

“I don’t see any land to land  _ on _ !” Sokka was peering over the side of the saddle, scanning the ground below.

“Me neither!” Toph laughed nervously. 

“Okay, okay, hold on! Let me see what I can do!” Aang released Appa’s reins and stood, carefully balancing as he moved his arms in a wide circle until a tight sphere of air surrounded them. They became a peaceful pocket in the middle of a storm. 

“That’s better, thanks, Aang,” Katara complimented. She attempted to flatten the many fly-aways atop her head, but the wind had already done its damage so she began unwinding her braids with the intent of redoing them neater. 

“I can’t hold this for long,” Aang grunted.

“Still no clearing landing place…” Jet informed them, joining Sokka in the search. 

A minute later Toph gave an alarmed yelp when the airbender’s protective shield weakened for a moment and a gust nearly knocked her from Appa’s back. “I hate flying,” she moaned, reaching to grab a tight hold on the nearest hand --Sokka’s.

Zuko could see sweat forming on Aang’s brow from the exertion. The sphere shrank and the airbender gave a determined growl and expanded the protected area again, but it was clearly a losing battle. 

Recalling his time on the Fire Nation ship and the protocol the soldiers had followed during rough seas, Zuko hurriedly seized one of the supply bags and began to dig through it, searching for something to tie everyone to the saddle with. In one of the bags he found a long piece of rope and crawled first towards Toph, knotting her carefully to the saddle in a few quick motions. 

He guided her hands to the rope. “Hold onto this. Don’t let go,” he told her, before pulling the rest of the rope first to Sokka and then to Jet. “Tie yourselves in.”

He had just reached Katara when Aang’s strength finally gave out. Without protection the gale lifted him instantly out of the saddle and for a moment he was suspended in midair before Katara’s hand slapped against his arm, her fingers seizing tightly to his wrist. 

She clung to the saddle with her other hand for as long as she could, her eyes full of worry as the air threatened to tear him away. 

Before anyone could offer her help there was another surge of raw power. Power not even the Avatar could fend off. Zuko was being drawn painfully in the opposite direction of the sky-bison, his arm feeling as though it would detach from his body at any moment. He waited for Katara to let him go --to be sent spinning through the air alone. 

Seconds later he was spinning, uncertain which way was up or down, his stomach dropping, his eyes watering as wind buffeted his face, whistled in his ears. Katara’s hand was still locked on to his as they fell rapidly through the swirling clouds. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really really hope this chapter does not disappoint. I know it's a shorter update, I'm worried it's a bit disjointed, and it's definitely more of a transitionary bit of the story as we move into our next phase, but my anxiety has been acting up and I wanted to be sure to post it before I could talk myself out of it entirely... 
> 
> You miiiight be able to tell what's coming based on where we leave the Gaang at the end of this chapter and I am very excited for it and hope you might be too!
> 
> Thanks for sticking with me, thanks continuously for comments/kudos, and I am sending best wishes to anyone who reads this -I think we can all use some of that this year <3


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Where we were??? Oh yeah... ;)

It was absurd, but all Katara could think as she plummeted from the sky was how upset Sokka would be with her. It hadn’t been more than a few weeks since he had made her promise to be more careful and here she was almost certainly about to die. 

She couldn’t tell if the screaming she heard was coming from her own throat or a result of the wind rushing past her ears. With her braids undone her hair lashed across her face, went into her mouth, covered her eyes. Maybe that was for the best --she wouldn’t have to see the earth approaching, too soon, as she hurtled through the air.

Distantly she was aware of her hand wrapped around Zuko’s wrist and his own wrapped around hers, but their grips were slipping. Despite the terror singing in her every nerve, she had no regrets. Reaching for him had been automatic, not letting go had been instinctive --she couldn’t. Even now she did not want to, but the physical world wrenched them apart --his fingers running across her palm as he escaped from her hold. 

Just as Katara shut her eyes and braced for the end she sensed it.  _ Water.  _ Somewhere beneath them. Faint, thin lines like a spider’s web. Hama’s voice in her head urged her to do what she must to survive. Above all else.  _ Survive.  _

She was one of two waterbenders from the Southern Water Tribe left in all the world --all that remained of an ancient and sacred heritage- there were no others for Hama to teach, and she could not disappoint her teacher. Not after all the sacrifices she had made. No, Katara would have to fight in her honor. 

Pushing against the wind with all her might Katara stretched out a hand, reaching for the element that called to her. The thin lines moved like strings of a puppet at the insistent wiggling of her fingers and gentle inclinations of her wrist. For a moment she felt she might understand a little of the connection Toph shared with her element, how even when she could not see it, she could shape it in her mind, tendrils of a substance that she could feel as surely as her own heartbeat, an extension of herself moving through the world. 

Branches tore at her clothing and scratched at her face as they splintered beneath her weight. The crashing sounds she made were echoed somewhere to her left, but it was too late to expand the net she had woven by feel of her element alone. All she could do was hope Zuko had not strayed too far from her in his descent and that he would land beside her. 

When her back at last met the vines there was an initial moment of alarm as they stretched, nearly snapping, before she was flung back up by their elasticity. She reached again for the water within the plants, guiding them to reach for her body, wrap around her, bind her, so that she would not be thrown back into the air and risk falling away from the net. Katara felt the vines stretch and recoil several times as they absorbed the velocity of her fall, but eventually all was finally, mercifully still. 

Katara’s organs felt as though they were all mixed up, her stomach where her heart should be and her heart where her stomach should be. Her skin vibrated, not yet ready to shed the sharp remains of fear. Of course, falling hundreds of meters through the air could do that to a person. 

“Katara!” a voice called breathlessly.

_ Zuko!  _ She unwound the vines holding her and awkwardly twisted in the center of her net, struggling to rise on the unstable surface. “Where are you?” He didn’t sound like he was in pain, still a lump of panic rose in her throat.

“O-over here,” he grunted. 

The tree canopy they had landed in was thick, but in the dim light Katara caught a small flash of white --Zuko’s fingers, curled precariously around the boundaries of the web of vines. He must have landed at the edge of the net --close enough to soften his landing, but far enough that he had barely managed to grab a hold. 

With the energy of her remaining adrenaline fueling her, Katara bent a nearby vine down to where she estimated Zuko’s dangling frame to be and guided it around his torso. She channeled more of her wavering strength into using the vine to lift him --her hands shaking as she did so. When she saw him hovering safely above the net she released the vines, sending him straight into the web. He rolled wildly to the deepest point of the net, where Katara’s gravity caused it to dip, his movement at last arrested when his body bumped roughly into hers.

They awkwardly shifted, attempting to sit up and untangle themselves, but the steep cradle of the vines kept pushing them back together until at last they were reduced to the insane laughter of two people who had survived the impossible and now struggled to do the most basic of tasks. 

When the hysterics finally subsided Katara was facing Zuko, her shoulder uncomfortably crunched against his. “Hi,” she said breathily. 

His eyes passed quickly over her face in disbelief, “Hey…”

“I don’t really want to move. My muscles feel like blubber.”

“Yeah.” She could feel his breath warming the tip of her nose as he spoke. He smelled like Appa --she expected she did as well- but beneath that was a cleaner scent --like sunlight. In spite of their situation she found it remarkably soothing. “I’m not ready to go anywhere yet either.” 

“Okay.”

They lay, pressed together, and gathering themselves, for some time, before Zuko rolled away, redistributing the balance of the net and evening the area they rested upon. 

Katara followed suit, pushing herself to her knees. Her right arm felt the absence of where Zuko’s arm had brushed against it, the skin feeling suddenly chilled, exposed. She rubbed it, shivering as she looked around. There were no hints of the storm here. In all directions everything seemed the same, a mess of vines and moss-cloaked trees. She was reminded of the tunnels to Omashu and shook her head in wonder.  _ Here I am lost and separated from my friends again…  _

Katara took a deep, determined breath. It was different this time. Now, she was not trapped with Zuko the enemy, she was trapped with Zuko her friend. She trusted him. “Where do you think we are?”

“I’m not sure… We should try to get to the ground.”

“The others will be looking for us. The tree canopy is thick here, we should get above it so they can see us from Appa’s back.”

Zuko eyed the sagging branches of the nearby trees dubiously. “Okay, even if we manage to climb up, what if they don’t find us? Getting down will be dangerous if we exhaust ourselves.”

“So what? We just survived dropping from a sky-bison’s back in the middle of a storm. We’ll be fine! I bent this net, didn’t I?”

“You  _ bent  _ this?” Zuko patted the structure admiringly, marveling at the ingenuity, before remembering himself with a shake of his head. “Okay, but that just emphasizes my point. Haven’t you spent all your energy? I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful, but we could fall on climbing down --and this time I’m not sure you’d catch us.”

“I’m  _ fine, _ ” Katara huffed, unwilling to admit that bending so much as a droplet of water sounded like an enormous effort now after the feat she had managed to pull off. 

“Katara… It’s not that I doubt your-”

“I said I’m  _ fine. _ ”

Zuko turned away, but Katara still caught his quiet muttering.

“What did you say?” she demanded.

“I said you’re being stubborn! I promise you we will find a clearing, send a signal, but right now our safest option is to get to the ground. Look up! I’m not even sure how far we’d have to climb to get above the trees or if we even  _ could  _ get to the top. We shouldn’t waste our energy and time on the less certain option.”

Katara grudgingly cast her eyes upwards. Admittedly it was impossible to see any sky, only a faint and distant glow through the leaves offered any proof it existed at all, and the distance to the top was not easily judged without a landmark to measure it against. 

“I know you don’t want to worry them --that you’re afraid something could happen to them while you aren’t there- but right now you need to look after yourself.”

“Alright,” Katara sighed, resigned. “We’ll go with your approach. How are we getting to the ground?”

Zuko had made his way to the edge of the net again and was leaning against one of the trees supporting it, looking down. “Good news, there’s a rope.”

The ‘rope’ was in fact, a sturdy vine wrapped around a thick tree branch and extending all the way to a faraway, but visible expanse of solid earth. Katara was surprised nature had handed them such a random gift after also being the cause of all their troubles, but she did not voice this aloud lest the spirits take trouble with her pickiness. 

The plant was rough along Katara’s palms as she descended, which meant it was unlikely to snap, but also made her skin burn painfully. When at last she released the vine and dropped to the ground her feet sank into a thick layer of mud with a distinctive squelch.  _ So much for  _ solid  _ earth.  _

Zuko, normally graceful, wobbled when he landed, surprised by the softness of the earth. He made a face as he lifted his leg and his foot released from the sludge with a loud sucking sound. “It’s a swamp.”

“Looks like it…” As dim as the light had been on the net it was even darker now and Katara had the sudden, uneasy, feeling that they had dropped into a trap --that they were being scrutinized by a thousand different sets of eyes. All around them was the sickly, sweet smell of decay. There was moisture in the air, but it did not comfort Katara as it usually did, instead it felt as though it contained something unnatural --a foul essence that she did not dare try to bend. 

Zuko was holding a small flame in his hand, examining their surroundings with the same suspicion she held. “I’m going to have to make a path through the vegetation or we’ll never get anywhere.” 

It was true, the same vines that Katara had used to save them were now blocking their way in every direction. As Zuko began to carefully burn through them Katara had the uneasy feeling that they were tampering with something better left undisturbed.

***

Zuko cursed as he tripped over yet another root, an already bruised shin colliding painfully with gnarled wood. At the abrupt change of pace Katara stumbled into his back, echoing his earlier sentiments with a few colorful words of her own. 

“Gah!” she muttered, pushing away from his back. “Can’t you give me a warning before you stop?”

“Can’t you watch where you’re going?” Zuko retorted, releasing his frustration in a short burst of flame. The vines immediately in front of him curled and shrank, forming a charred opening that led to… _ more of the same _ . They seemed to stretch for an eternity and while their presence had saved their lives just hours before, Zuko now found himself regarding them with increasing resentment. His endurance was waning with each yard of plant incinerated, but he could tell Katara’s concern was swelling with each passing moment --an added pressure that he felt acutely. 

“Just admit it, you have no idea where you’re going.”

“Of course not!” 

“And--” Katara stopped mid-shout and blinked. “Wait... You admitted it.”

“Yes?”

“I’m used to someone putting up more of an argument.”

“I’m not going to argue with you.” Zuko grimaced as he raised a hand to firebend again, his shoulder aching from the effort. His feet had gone numb from the water they splashed in with every step. It was getting darker, which could have meant the sun was setting or that they were simply walking further into the thick vegetation of the swamp, it was impossible to tell. 

Katara sighed. “I’m sorry. I’m just frustrated… And tired, and hungry…”

“You admitted it,” Zuko stated, echoing her earlier statement. He hesitated briefly before saying, “Can we stop then? I didn’t want to say it first, I know you’re probably anxious to get back to the others, but…”

“I know, I know, we need to rest. Can we… Can we just go a little further? Maybe there’s a clearing. Maybe they’d be able to spot a fire from the air.”

“A little further,” Zuko agreed. 

Their luck seemed to be turning somewhat when they stumbled out from amongst the tangle of vines into a small, relatively open space. A large tree root at the center served as a platform above the swamp water that they eagerly pulled themselves on top of. It was as good a spot as any to rest for the night, at least they would be able to lie on something solid and somewhat dry. 

“I still can’t see the sky from here,” Katara commented wistfully, craning her neck to peer into an endless dark ceiling. 

Zuko set about attempting to gather enough dry fuel for a proper campfire, a difficult task amongst the humidity of the swamp. For every twig he found for tinder there was a limitless supply of damp, moss covered logs to match. Katara had wrapped her arms around herself to fight shivers, a discouraged scowl on her face.  _ I have to get a fire going… I have to at least do that.  _ Zuko resumed his search with increased determination. 

“I don’t suppose you know if any of the plants around here are edible?” Katara tilted her head at a bright pink flower hanging just above their heads. 

“I’m not sure... Probably best not to risk it.” His stomach expressed its disappointment at this statement.

A few minutes Zuko at last crouched over a small bundle of flammable material, but even after he managed to get the fire going it barely cast any light or warmth. He eyed the smoking pile angrily, though there was nothing more to be done. 

With little else available to prepare a proper camp with Katara had sat across from him, clearly trying her best not to look too cold and downtrodden, though her eyes and body language betrayed her as she pulled her knees to her chest and began to rock back and forth eyes intermittently darting to the shadows surrounding them.

“I get the feeling we’re being watched,” she said, when she caught him staring. 

“It does feel like this place has a million eyes,” Zuko admitted, rolling his shoulders to try and dislodge the icy sensation running along his spine. 

The fire was already beginning to dim into little more than a smoldering ember, Zuko breathed on it carefully, coaxing more life from what remained. He sensed Katara’s eyes following his movements, but he knew her mind was likely elsewhere. 

“You should be with them, this is my fault…”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Katara snorted. “There was a storm.”

“You could’ve let me go.”

Their eyes met through the faint, orange glow of the fire, and for a moment Zuko felt a pull. A need to lean forward, as though Katara were whispering words he could not hear, but desperately wanted to. She too, seemed to forget the rest of the world, caught in a gravity that was entirely theirs. 

“I couldn’t have done that,” she whispered. “I could never have done that.” Then she blinked, looked down into the fire, and added in a loud tone that brought them both abruptly back to their senses, “I couldn’t have let Aang’s firebending teacher die. Plus you promised to help me with bloodbending too --you can’t get out of it that easily!”

_ Aang’s firebending teacher.  _ That was what he was to her, all he was to her.  _ Of course, because it’s the truth. It’s what you are.…  _ That identity would be the key to his redemption, helping her would be a bonus, and anything else? _ Is my imagination, a stupid dream _ . Still, his chest tightened at her words as though to hold his heart together with a steady pressure. It frustrated him that he should feel this way when every other part of him screamed not to. That all the reasoning in the world could not shield him from the hurt. That it wasn’t smart, wasn’t right --and he was  _ done _ doing wrong, but seemed incapable of controlling his emotions. 

“Zuko?”

He shook his head. “Yeah?”

She had clearly said something before that he had not heard, but she patiently repeated herself. “I was just saying that it’s cold and I’m not ready to sleep yet. I was thinking we could use this time to go through the movements you need to know to redirect lightning. I’m pretty sure I know what those papers you have would show if they weren’t so damaged, and besides, it could be a nice distraction from,” she gestured at the heavy mist that had begun settling over the swamp, “all this.” 

“Yeah, okay.” Zuko rose to his feet, eager for a distraction as well, even if for different reasons. It took a moment for his eyes to adjust to the darkness engulfing them now that the fire --if they could even have called it one- was truly dying. Slowly, Katara’s form, her clothes a greenish-grey in the lack of light, became clearer. He stepped towards her. “It might be hard to teach if we can’t see each other,” he commented. 

“Just come closer,” Katara insisted, reaching for his sleeve and tugging him to stand beside her. “When you talked to Aang about firebending, you talked about your breathing. How you can control the release of energy in and out of your body. When I’m waterbending I always think of the ocean, of the waves, their push and pull. For every motion there is an opposite motion. If water is thrown  _ at  _ me, I can also throw it back.” 

Katara made a scooping motion with her hands and swamp water from below gathered in front of her in a large, oblong bubble. She glanced to make sure Zuko was paying attention, but the action was needless, he was completely absorbed in her instruction. “It is easier to follow a river’s current than it is to work against it. With every motion, I am directing the water by allowing it to mimic the natural flow of energy in my body.” She waved her arms out to her sides and the water slid easily onto her arms, forming the extended limbs Zuko had grown accustomed to seeing her use in her sparring with Aang. “There’s a pathway running from my fingertips, to my shoulder, and when I extend my energy…” she cast her arms back and forth in smooth strokes and her watery limbs stretched effortlessly. “I can move the element.”

“This…” Zuko considered it for a moment. “You’re channeling existing energy so it’s less exertion.”

“Exactly. Now, the drawings on those papers show energy moving through a pathway you create from your fingertips, up your arm, to your shoulder, and down into your stomach. I was taught in the South Pole that the stomach is a source of energy in your body, a sea of chi. By passing the energy into your stomach and directing it up again and out the other arm you avoid the lightning hitting your heart and you won’t absorb the damage. You’ll have redirected it. You will turn your opponent’s offense into your defense.”

Katara paused for a moment before continuing, “So let’s try the motions. Open a pathway starting at your fingertips…”

Zuko assumed a fighting stance, bending his knees for stability, raising his arm upward and his palm outward. 

“No, I think that will be too big of a pathway since you’re dealing with lightning. You risk absorbing too much too fast, and losing control,” Katara frowned. “Try this,” she mimicked his stance, but curled three fingers of her forward-most hand inward. The remaining two stuck straight out. 

Zuko copied her adjustments. “How will I ever be able to catch the lightning with such a narrow point?” 

“It will be inclined to slip into the current of energy in your own body --it will naturally draw it in,” Katara explained. “Now, from there, channel the energy up your arm, down into your stomach, then up and out the other arm.” 

Zuko shut his eyes in concentration, focusing on picturing the chi in his body as he pulled his extended arm in towards his chest, down towards his stomach, and then lifted his other arm, releasing the imagined force out from his other hand.

“No,” a soft voice said in his ear, and Zuko felt a slight pressure on his bicep just before he could repeat the motion. Katara’s hands gently guided his arm as she spoke. “Don’t draw in too much, it’s meant to pass through you --keep it away from your heart. The heart loves to consume energy and if it lands there it will stay there. Move the energy  _ down,  _ along your flank and into your stomach and  _ then  _ out.” 

He submitted to her touch, allowing her to shift his body with a light touch, for several cycles, before she stepped away. Even then, he refused to open his eyes, picturing this time, not the flow of energy in his body, but the points at which Katara’s hands had sparked a reaction. He imagined her standing behind him, tugging his arm down, his stomach dancing in excitement, and releasing the burst of adrenaline out through his other arm. He repeated the movement for a few more minutes before opening his eyes to find Katara standing across from him, mirroring his movements.

She smiled when she saw he was watching her. “Good… You’d make some waterbenders jealous. Very graceful, smooth.”

They continued practicing until Zuko caught Katara yawning. Then he insisted they try to get some sleep --an action much easier said than done as a symphony of bugs and other unidentifiable sounds seemed to increase in volume the moment he lay down. 

“Zuko,” Katara called softly. 

He rolled towards the sound of her voice, surprised to find that she had chosen to settle not far from him. Her face was tight with worry, a wrinkle on her brow. “What is it?” 

She hesitated before speaking. “I still feel like we’re being watched, and all these  _ noises _ . It makes me miss Appa’s snoring. I think maybe it actually soothes me,” she laughed quietly.

“I know what you mean.” It was strange to be sleeping in the swamp, not just because of the lack of a sleeping pad, blanket, and other comforts, but because he had grown used to sleeping surrounded by others, their breathing an assurance that all was well. “I think Toph snores louder than Appa though.”

Katara laughed again, but a moment later, her smile was gone, and Zuko could just make out the tension in her neck as she lifted her head, straining to hear something --perhaps the same squishy footsteps Zuko was tracking. 

“I, er, I don’t snore like Appa, but…”  _ Don’t say it. What are you doing? She’s going to think you’re such a creep,  _ but the words had left his mouth before he could pull them back. “You could sleep next to me if you wanted.” Her surprised expression made his heart skip several beats. “I mean, just, just so you can feel safer maybe. I can pretend to snore! Er, so you can’t hear the swamp.” 

_ Pretend to snore?!  _ Zuko squeezed his eyes shut and fought the urge to pull at his hair.  _ Idiot.  _

A soft exhale tickled his nose and when he opened his eyes again Katara’s face had drawn closer, inches from his. “Just for tonight… This place is giving me the creeps.”

“Okay.” 

“Zuko?” 

“Yeah?”

“You don’t have to snore, but uh, I do think your breathing would help block out the noise. Can you do that?”

He hadn’t realized he was holding his breath, afraid to disturb her, to make a wrong move, but he exhaled shakily and shut his eyes once more. 

This time his ears blocked out all else, but for the soft inhales and exhales of the waterbender sleeping beside him -a lullaby he happily listened to. 

***

A badgerfrog croaked loudly and Katara knew the world was calling on her to wake, but she did not want to leave the warmth of her blankets.  _ Five more minutes,  _ she decided.  _ Let Sokka or Toph start breakfast this morning.  _ She nuzzled her face deeper into the fabric, shielding her eyes from the grey light of morning. 

Her blanket rose and fell in a steady rhythm...pulled her closer. 

Katara’s eyes flew open, her heart racing wildly, but she remained carefully still, weary of setting off the alarms of whoever’s trap she had fallen in. 

Except, it wasn’t a trap… As she slowly shed the confusion of the just-woken the details of her surroundings and their context quickly became clear. 

The front of a crumpled Earth Kingdom shirt was gathered in her hands, something pressed gently on the top of her head, and a weight wound its way from her upper hip along her spine and between her shoulder blades. Her face was against his chest, her eyes level with his scar --which could just be seen peeking out where his shirt had been tugged down, likely by the mindless wandering of her own hand. His chin rested on her head --his soft exhales stirring stray hairs- and he held her against him with a casual arm across her back. 

Even for a Southern Water Tribe native the swamp’s damp had put a chill in her bones the night before. That was why, she reasoned, she was curled against Zuko’s chest.  _ It was cold. We were cold. Instincts kicked in and you ended up right by the firebender, no big deal.  _ Except she still could not bring herself to move.  _ What if I wake him? _

His fingers flexed against her shoulders, briefly, and then Katara felt him stiffen, his chest stopping mid breath. His chin lifted carefully from her head and she could see the muscles in his neck moving as he turned his head. She shut her eyes quickly, not wanting him to see her awake and  _ not  _ moving into a new position, but to her surprise Zuko did not immediately pull away. 

Instead she felt his breath on her forehead as he tilted to look down at her. His hand twitched against her back as he seemed to hesitate, preparing to roll away, and yet the movement never came. Katara opened her eyes just enough, a slit, through which she saw Zuko deliberating. There was a softness in his eyes that... 

She was beginning to question if they’d be locked in the awkward predicament forever when a high-pitched scream caused both of them to jump and immediately sit up. 

“Spirits, what was that?” Katara swore, heart hammering. She scanned the horizon, but the mist was thicker than it had been the night before. She could barely see the water that she knew to be below their resting place for the night much less anything else. She turned to Zuko.

“I think... it was just a bird,” Zuko said apprehensively. 

“You don’t sound too certain.” When he glanced at her it was impossible for her not to notice the odd angle of his shirt collar, the wrinkles where her hand had held the fabric. 

Katara quickly stood, suddenly eager to get moving, unable to tell if she was relieved there had been a distraction, or disappointed they had not had to address the position they had woken in. She was not anxious to dig deeper into either emotion. 

“Yeah, we should probably get moving.” Zuko also rose to his feet and lifted his hand, a ball of fire held in his palm. 

Then an alarmed expression crossed his face. There was no time to react, no time to even bend in defense. One minute Zuko was there, the next he had fallen to his stomach and was dragged away by something unseen, swallowed by the mist. 

“ZUKO!” Katara screamed.  _ No, no, no,  _ but there was little time to worry for him. 

There was a tickle at her ankle, then a tight squeeze as the vine formed a band around her ankle and swiftly pulled her away. 

Katara tried to bend the vine’s grip off of her, but each time she reached for the water within it another more dominant force retained control over the element, like a hand slapping her away. She bounced painfully across the swamp’s surface, rocks bruising her back, branches tearing at her clothes, shielding her face as best as she could to avoid the debris that threatened to fly into her eyes, and hoped the nightmare would end soon.

She was beginning to run out of curses for whatever cruel spirit had opted to play this trick, when suddenly, just as quickly as it had seized her, the vine released her. The speed at which she had been traveling continued to carry her several yards further, sliding through mud, until at last she came to a stop and struggled to rise to her feet, swaying wildly as she cast about for an enemy to fight, because surely there had to be one.  _ What other explanation is there? _

For all the eyes she had imagined watching her since her arrival in the swamp, no faces appeared to challenge her. Her muscles finally began to relax, and the ache of her rough journey through the swamp began to catch up with her --her joints complaining with every shaky step. 

Katara panted and spat sludge from her mouth. “Zuko?” she called with only faint hope.

The droplets falling from her clothes and into the swamp water she stood in was the only reply. It echoed, a lonely sound, as she spun in a slow circle. 

The mist had thinned somewhat, Katara thought she saw the faint glow of sun breaking through the trees up ahead. With no hints as to where Zuko had ended up and no idea what direction to proceed in, she opted to move closer to the light, her feet dragging through murky liquid.

_ My energy is back. Maybe I can get above the trees. I’ll find a way to signal the others and…  _ And if Zuko was in trouble? Without her bending she doubted he’d be able to make it above the canopy. What if she found the others, but then they couldn’t find him? No. She couldn’t leave the swamp without the boy she had dropped into it with. She would not abandon him. 

“Zuko!” she tried again, feeling foolish. At least shouting felt better than the eerie silence. “Zuko! Where are you?!”

Warmth kissed Katara’s cheek as she stepped into the beam of sunlight, but a shiver ran through her as she glanced again at her surroundings.  _ Everything looks exactly the same. Moss, mud, mist, and misery.  _

There was another sunbeam ahead, a marker, if anything, breaking up the darkness.  _ Walk to that, just keep moving,  _ Katara told herself, fending off the overwhelming desire to surrender to the despair of the moment. It got more difficult to do as the morning wore on, until the heaviness in her heart threatened to topple her where she stood. She paused, glaring at her feet, daring her legs to give in, to buckle, but found herself unable to follow through on her own threats. 

When she looked up again the figure of a woman was standing in the next sunbeam. “Hello?” Katara called excitedly, heedless of any danger the stranger might present. Anything had to be better than the maddening desolateness of the swamp. “Hello? Can you help me?” As she drew closer she squinted, something familiar calling to her in the shape of the woman’s back, the styling of her hair, the color of her… “Mom?”

It made no sense, but it didn’t need to. Love defied the instinct of logic. Katara broke into a sprint. “Mom!” she shouted, tears streaming down her face, catching, salty, in her mouth as she smiled wildly, flying from her eyes as she raced towards a blur of blue.

Katara stretched her arm out and memories flooded her mind: the smell of her mother’s clothes, the softness of her hair, the gentleness of her hands, the proud smile she reserved just for her children.  _ She always kissed my head after she hugged me,  _ Katara recalled, her hand inches from her mother’s shoulder, eagerly anticipating what it would be like to receive such an embrace again. 

It had been years. Katara had survived the agonizing loss, and yet, without always realizing it, she had never stopped missing her. Never stopped longing for the comfort of her touch, her voice, in every second of every day. “I can’t believe…”

Her palm landed not on familiar soft fur, but rough bark, and the girl with the fierce determination, the fighting spirit, the girl who believed, the girl who  _ hoped,  _ threw her hands over her face and collapsed to her knees in muddy water, empty of anything except heartbreak. 

***

Zuko rubbed the back of his head gingerly, groaning as his fingers found the forming bump from where he had smacked into the trunk of the tree behind him --all thanks to the vine that had suddenly flung him aside, perhaps having had enough of his frantic, fiery attacks. 

“Katara?” He knew she wasn’t there, but saying her name comforted him, and it was worth a shot. 

As expected, there was no reply. 

Zuko had spent plenty of time alone in his life. This was the first time it had ever truly bothered him --the first time it had ever felt like alone also meant incomplete- but there was no helping it. Worrying about Katara would not reunite him with her, nor would fixating on the turn of fate they had been handed.  _ Besides, she can look after herself.  _

There was certainly more than enough ammunition in the swamp for a powerful waterbender to fend off any danger with. This fact, while reassuring, did not work in Zuko’s favor as he searched for the easiest route to follow. Even the direction with the least flooding made for soggy ankles and miserable trekking, but there was no other choice.  _ I have to find her…  _

At first, Zuko hoped that he might not have been carried too far from the waterbender, but it quickly became apparent as he attempted to retrace his steps, that there was no telling where he had come from and where she might be. Unlike with solid ground where there might be tracks to follow, the swamp swallowed every footprint as quickly as they were made.

He had not gone far when he stopped to swear, frustration rapidly climbing, accelerated by the voice of fear in his ear.  _ How are you going to find her? The Avatar will have to find another firebending teacher… You’re going to be lost forever in this swamp. You’ll die here, just as things were starting to change for you…  _ “UGH!” Zuko dug his fingers deep into his scalp, pulled at his hair, and when none of that did anything to make him feel better, punched the air with a furious, plume of flame. 

Of course, the dramatic display did nothing to improve his situation, though he did feel slightly calmer after releasing the more erratic energy. 

It did not soothe him so much that when a small sound to his left rang out he did not react. Instead, he jumped and dropped into a fighting stance. 

Of all things, a turtleduck stared back at him, unimpressed. It quacked again and drifted closer. 

“What are you doing here?” Zuko asked. While an aquatic creature, the swamp still seemed a less than comfortable environment for a turtleduck. 

The turtleduck simply gave a defiant honk in reply. 

The last turtleduck Zuko had seen had been in the garden his mother had loved so dearly --in the Fire Lord’s palace. The last time he had seen a turtleduck his mother had still been with him… When she had gone, so had they, as though sensing the change, predicting the dark cloud that would follow her disappearance and linger for years to come. 

The turtleduck began to swim away, moving at a speed faster than Zuko would have thought possible for the animal. 

“Bye then,” Zuko called, turning his focus back to the path he was intent on following. 

The turtleduck gave a loud, almost angry, honk, and when Zuko glanced to see what it was complaining about, he saw it had stopped and turned to watch him expectantly. 

_ I didn’t think I’d lose my mind quite so quickly.  _ Zuko was starting to think he had hit his head harder than he originally thought, and yet… “Fine, if you’re so sure… just, don’t tell anyone else about this.”  _ Yep, I’ve definitely gone insane.  _ He walked towards the creature and when it was satisfied he was following, it began to float forward again. 

The mist grew thicker, giving everything a dreamlike quality. Zuko continued to trail behind the turtleduck, though his eyes were beginning to feel heavy, a sleepiness settling over him. His blinks lasted longer than they probably should have. 

The turtleduck seemed to have an uncanny ability to sense he was not paying attention. It quacked loudly, startling him back to wakefulness. 

“Sorry, sorry,” Zuko mumbled, but his eyes were already drifting shut again.

_ Zuko…  _ a voice called. 

His eyes flew open. The turtleduck was nowhere to be seen. 

_ Zuko…  _ the voice called again.  _ Her  _ voice. 

The trunks of the trees suddenly reminded him of columns, lining a long hallway. 

_ Zuko…  _ she said again, and through the mist he saw her, wearing the same crimson cloak, her face glowing softly as it had that night. 

“Mom?” It made _no sense_ , but it didn’t _need to_. _Love defied the instinct of logic._ Zuko broke into a sprint. “Mom!” he shouted, remembering her hands on his shoulders as she said goodbye, remembering how he had thought it was all just a dream, a nightmare. How the world had tilted as he watched her walk away, pulling her hood up, vanishing, into thin air. 

He had searched for answers for years, chasing every faint possibility, every hint, until Azula’s taunting had finally convinced him she was gone. Dead. Yet here she was and she was…  _ Running away?  _

History repeated itself, but Zuko was no longer a child. He quickly gained on her retreating figure, racing along the trunk of a tree, begging silently for her to  _ wait, wait, don’t go.  _ She jumped to another branch and so did he, and the chase repeated in this manner until Zuko made one last leap, his fingers stretching for the fabric of her clothes, to pull on them, to make her turn around, but all they touched was the vapor of the mist and his foot slipped on slick moss and he tumbled into the water of the swamp below with a loud splash. 

At first, Zuko did not bother to move --and not just because the air had been knocked from his lungs. His spirit was absent, evaporating like the woman in the mist. 

“Zuko?” 

He shut his eyes. He did not think he could bear seeing her face again. Not if it was just going to disappear. 

“Zuko!” A hand pressed urgently to his chest, another to his face. 

He opened his eyes and it was not a ghost staring back at him, but, “Katara…”

“Are you okay? What happened?” She pulled him to his feet.

“I…”  _ I saw my dead mother?  _ What was he supposed to say? “We  _ need  _ to get out of this place.”

“You don’t have to tell me twice,” Katara agreed grimly, and Zuko saw a redness in her eyes he had not noticed before.

“Are  _ you  _ okay?” he asked. 

Katara shook her head. “I got pulled away by vines too and then I… I saw... “ She turned to him, a pleading look in her eyes that carried emotions he recognized from within himself.  _ Please don’t think I’m crazy,  _ it said. “The Fire Nation took my mother away from me, but…  _ I saw her,”  _ her voice cracked and tears pooled in her eyes.

Zuko put a reassuring hand on her shoulder. “I saw my mother too…”

Katara blinked. “Is she…?”

Zuko looked away. “That’s something we have in common,” he said softly. 

“I’m sorry…”

“Me too…” He didn’t like that they shared the pain, he would rather Katara did not have to suffer at all, but he felt their connection strengthen in the understanding they shared --of what it was to lose a mother. 

Katara wiped at her cheeks and forced a smile. “It’s good to see you,” she said with a shaky laugh. 

“Good to see you too.”

She surprised him by wrapping her arms around him and giving him a tight squeeze. He returned the embrace --hoping she could not feel how his heart hammered in his chest- and when she pulled away tried not to let his emotions show too clearly on his face. 

“How do we get out of here? What do you want to do?”

Zuko was about to reply when he saw it behind her: A giant formed of plants extending a vine towards her, threatening to tear them apart again.

He pulled her behind him and let loose a wave of fire. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this moment I'm happy with how this chapter turned out -in an hour? We'll see haha. Dear readers, what did YOU think? Let me know and as always a huge thank you to those who comment, give kudos, and/or read :')
> 
> A heads up that I am hoping to keep with our regular schedule and have an update 11/29, but have family visiting in the coming week that could cause a delay *fingers crossed not!*
> 
> (A final note: If by any chance you read my one-shot 'Of Lanterns and Turtleducks' you are probably already familiar with my love of Turtleduck/Spirit!Ursa -I couldn't resist adding her here <3).


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's finally here!! Apologies for the extended wait between chapters -work has been hectic and motivation has been hard to come by. I hope you find it worth the wait <3

“What  _ is  _ that thing?” Katara shouted as she slid out from behind Zuko’s back to hurl a sharp blast of water at the vines that threatened to seize his ankles. The water sliced through the plant matter and left pieces that squirmed like worms before going limp.  _ As if the last few hours hadn’t dealt us enough surprises. _

Several fireballs aimed carefully by Zuko found their target with exceptional accuracy, but did nothing to slow down the approaching horror and all its’ seemingly infinite limbs. The firebender gave a low growl of frustration, “I hate this place.”

She would have laughed at his sulkiness if it weren’t for the rapidly multiplying vines slithering across the surface of the swamp water towards them. Their movement had a familiar quality to it.  _ Like the vines that separated us before,  _ Katara observed. 

Except last time the vines’ master had been hidden and now it stood before them, far more aggressive, with arms and legs the size of tree trunks and an eerie mask fashioned of bark where a face should be. Katara relentlessly slashed at the approaching giant, but for every mark she and Zuko landed the vines simply regenerated, stitching themselves back together. 

_ How can we buy ourselves time to come up with a plan?  _ Katara wondered as she severed another vine with a spinning disk of ice. 

“Cover me. I’m going to try and get closer!”

“You’re what?! Zuko, no, wai-” but her words came too late. No sooner had Katara turned to stop him and the firebender was already racing towards the danger. “ _ Idiot _ …” she muttered under her breath as she hurled a large icicle at the giant in the hopes of distracting it. 

Whatever  _ it  _ was, its defense was remarkable and its sense of awareness even more so. Without so much as a moment’s hesitation it forced Katara to retreat with a wave of an arm and in the same movement stretched an emerald hand-like tangle towards Zuko. 

“Watch out!” Katara warned, willing the water in front of him to rise into a wall of ice. 

The hand promptly shattered her efforts, but not before giving Zuko enough time to step around it, earning him a prized position to the side of the giant. He wasted no time in sweeping his arms behind him, then bringing them back towards the enemy, matching ropes of fire extending from them. The fire wound its way around the arm of the giant closest to Zuko. As the band of flames tightened the smell of burnt plants filled the air.

The giant appeared alarmed for a moment as it attempted to pull its smoking limb loose. Katara took advantage of its confusion to run to its other side and send her water whip flying around the remaining arm. She caught Zuko’s face, straining from the effort of maintaining his hold on the giant and pulled harder. 

Their opponent’s powerful legs wobbled, appeared ready to crumple. Katara was prepared to give a confident cry of victory when suddenly the resistance of the giant increased again, nearly sending her flying into the air like a fish on a line.

The giant had pulled so hard at Zuko’s hold that the restraints had burned through the arm, leaving behind a smoldering mass of vines. Where the limb had been severed vines flew from the opening with alarming speed, tying themselves around Zuko’s torso before he had even a chance of recovering. The firebender was lifted into the air and then abruptly pulled into the beast, swallowed by a gaping hole that formed in the chest of the thing and just as quickly resealed itself. 

“Let. Him. GO!” Katara growled, yanking the arm she held in her watery grasp down to the ground and sealing it there with ice formed from a wave of her hand. She did the same with the legs, freezing water in rapid layers, faster than the giant could break them. When she was confident her efforts would hold for at least a minute she moved on to the stump -blackened from Zuko’s fire- throwing a bubble of water at it and turning it to ice to prevent it from regrowing. 

When at last it was mostly immobilized Katara moved to stand directly in front of the giant, staring at the void of the mask’s eyes with a fury that she hoped carried to whatever lay at its core. “I’m not going to repeat myself,” she told it. “Last chance.”

It struggled, its ‘skin’ moving in ripples as it tugged at the element that cemented it to the ground, then went eerily still. Katara smirked proudly at its defeat, until the ice she had so determinedly crafted shifted suddenly back to its original liquid form. 

She blinked in shock. She had been expecting more shattered ice, but instead the water had melted instantaneously.  _ It’s almost as though…  _ The full force of two giant limbs came rushing towards her, but Katara stood her ground, lifted her arms, and closed her eyes, reaching for her element. 

It was there, of course it was, running through every fiber of the creature, a network, intricately woven. It was finer than her makeshift net had been, but then again she had fashioned that in seconds and this was clearly the creation of a mastermind. As soon as Katara attempted to move the arms away she felt the slap as she had before while being dragged across the swamp floor. It was the slap of what she now realized was the bender of the vines. How had she not realized before what was so obvious now?  _ There’s someone  _ inside  _ that thing.  _

Katara refused to relinquish control.  _ It’s my element too,  _ she thought angrily, and shoved back at the force trying to keep her from using the water within the vines. It was a tug of war and she felt shaking in the plant arms that were inches from her as the mysterious bender tried to take back the water in the vines. Sweat beaded on her forehead and trickled down the slope of her nose, she did not pause to wipe it. Lowering her arms now would mean the other bender would win. 

It was as she had told Zuko the night before. Katara extended the full force of her energy out from within her, one last sudden push, and there was a shift as the element was redirected and the balance of power turned. She raised her arms above her head and opened her eyes, grinning when she saw the giant’s arms mirrored her pose. “Ready to give up now,  _ waterbender _ ?”

The chest of the giant opened, spitting out Zuko who tumbled in an undignified heap onto the marshy ground. 

Though she wanted to ensure Zuko was unharmed, she did not glance his way. Katara knew better than to take her eyes off of her opponent or to release her hold on their plant-arms just yet. “Who are you?” she demanded of the mask. 

The bark face landed with a splash in the swamp water and the vines of the giant’s head slowly came undone. From the dark emerged a wrinkled and kind face with dark twinkling eyes. “Name’s Huu. That was some masterful bending, young one. How’d you know how to bend the vines like that? You don’t look like a member of the Swamp Tribe.”

Katara laughed in wonder, gesturing at her clothing. “I’m not!”

Huu made an odd pondering noise, halfway between a sigh and a grunt. “You’re from the other tribes aren’t ya? Haven’t had a visitor from the icy place in a long time.” He nodded towards a bit of frost lingering on the arm of his suit of vines. “You could probably tell. Took me a bit to sort that one out. Was smart of you.”

“You still figured it out,” Katara commented, walking towards Zuko who was still sitting in the murky water, looking from her to Huu dazedly. She offered him a hand and tugged him to his feet. 

“I’m sorry for messin’ with ya,” Huu said, stepping down from his place amongst the vines to join them at ground level. 

Katara nearly snorted at the expression on Zuko’s face as he took in the man’s limited state of dress. It was odd to her as well, coming from a place where layers were celebrated and a key for survival, but she still elbowed him sharply in reprimand at his blatant staring.  _ They may do things differently in the Fire Nation, but you must be respectful of his culture,  _ Katara wanted to tell him, but Huu was watching too intently. A lecture for another time. 

“Why  _ did  _ you mess with us?” Zuko asked.

“I protect the swamp from folks who want to hurt it, like you, fella, with your destructive flames.”

Zuko shot his own hands a brief, guilty look. “Okay, I can understand that… but those visions. Those visions were cruel. I don’t know how you managed them, but-” His lips pressed together in grim remembrance and Katara felt her own muscles tighten in pain as well as the image of her mother passed through her mind. 

“Visions?” Huu’s eyes widened in awe. 

Zuko bristled at his nonchalance, but before he could erupt as she sensed he wanted to, Katara placed a calming hand on his shoulder. “We saw our mothers. Our...dead mothers,” she elaborated. 

The Swamp Tribesman considered them for a moment, then turned and began walking away. “Come with me,” he said mysteriously.

Katara and Zuko exchanged an uneasy glance before they began to follow him --from a wary distance. 

Katara ensured they were safely out of Huu’s hearing before asking Zuko, “You okay?”

He nodded slowly. “This guy seems nuts, what are we doing? We should be getting out of here.”

“He’s a little odd,” Katara admitted, “but he might be able to help us find a way out of here --he certainly  _ seems _ to know his way around.”

Zuko responded with a noncommittal grunt. 

“He’s the last person I expected to come across in a place like this… A  _ master  _ waterbender. He was bending that entire structure of plants -like an exoskeleton. It was incredible…” Katara said admiringly.

“Yeah, it was impressive, but,” Zuko allowed a small smile. “Still no match for  _ you _ ...”

Katara turned her head away so he would not see the blush that crept instantly to her cheeks at the compliment. “It was nothing,” she insisted.

“It wasn’t.”

She recalled the feeling of claiming control over what had been the other bender’s water. The exhilarating rush when the element at last began to obey  _ her.  _ “It was pretty cool,” she confessed.

“There you go,” Zuko laughed, “don’t be humble.”

“Don’t tease me!” she scowled, knocking her shoulder playfully into him. 

He staggered away exaggeratedly, clutching his arm, but his expression was serious when he looked at her again. “I’m not teasing you,” he told her. “You’re a very powerful bender. Embrace it. It’s okay to be proud.”

Katara shrugged in an attempt to dismiss the flip her stomach did in response to the intensity of his amber eyes upon her. “Typical, arrogant, firebender,” she teased. “Though, I will say, that was smart thinking what you did back there with the fire ropes.”

“Thanks, but I got that idea from you --the night you rescued me from Ty Lee.” This time it was his turn to bump her lightly with his side. “Powerful bender,” he repeated. “Just accept it!”

Katara threw her hands up, exasperated, unused to such praise. Sure, Aang was complimentary from time to time, but somehow it felt different coming from Zuko, more genuine. Perhaps that had something to do with him being her enemy before, someone she had fought in earnest. “Fine, fine, I’m amazing!” 

“Yes...you are.”

There was a softness to his voice that caught her off guard and nearly stopped her in her tracks. 

Huu’s voice rescued her from having to respond, carrying from where he stood atop a massive root. “Up this way,” he told them. “Not much further.”

The root gradually sloped upwards, a ramp of sorts, carrying them further and further into the air, until the warmth of the sun in the air could be felt in the air. The stale scent of swamp gradually faded, replaced by a fresh breeze. Katara inhaled gratefully. 

At last, Huu’s mud-caked feet halted before a wall of mossy wood, beneath a ceiling of leaves and a curtain of vines that swayed playfully in the wind. “The Banyan Grove tree,” Huu said, as though that were the answer to all the questions flying through their minds. “I reached enlightenment right here. I heard it calling me.”

“Sure you did, it seems real...chatty.” Zuko’s eyes passed over their surroundings suspiciously, though Katara did notice his face loosen somewhat at the sight of the blue sky stretching across the horizon before them. 

“Something brought ya here,” Huu stated, ignoring Zuko’s comment. 

“A storm,” Katara told him. 

Huu ignored this as well. His gaze had drifted to Zuko’s chest. To  _ the spot  _ on Zuko’s chest. The one Katara’s eyes always wandered to. The mark was covered, but somehow Katara knew the plantbender was aware that that particular place was significant.

Zuko noticed the staring and shifted uncomfortably. “What?” he snapped.

“You have spirit energy inside of you, an essence that connects you to the Spirit World.” 

“It’s the Avatar who is the bridge between the Spirit World and this one,” Zuko scoffed. “And I am  _ not  _ the Avatar. Trust me…”

“That is not what I am saying…” Huu removed his gaze from where Zuko’s scar lay and seated himself cross-legged, looking out across the expanse of tree tops behind them. He seemed entirely unbothered by Zuko’s dismissiveness.

Katara followed his eyes. From above the swamp looked less menacing, a symphony of vibrant greens playing amongst a light fog that lay, suspended in the air. From this perspective she could appreciate the beauty of the terrain, admire the enduring spirit of it. 

“Ya know, this whole swamp is actually just one tree spread out over miles,” Huu said, as though reading her thoughts. “Branches spread and then sink and take root and then spread some more... If you listen hard enough, you can hear every living thing breathing together. You can feel everything growing, changing. We all have the same roots, and we are all branches of the same tree…but some of us are more connected than others --like you two.”

Katara glanced at Zuko, prepared to exchange a look that said,  _ ‘Okay, you were right, he’s insane.’  _ Instead, she found herself unable to deny what she had sensed ever since that day --the day she had brought him back. There was something  _ there  _ between them, a heat each time their eyes met, a tug from an invisible thread that ran from his scar, his chest, to hers. 

“Certain places on this earth collect spirit energy more than others. That’s probably how you got pulled in here,” Huu explained. “You said you had visions, both of you… In the swamp, we see visions of people we’ve lost, people we loved, folks we think are gone. It does not do this for everyone. The spirit bits inside of you were reacting to the spiritual energy surrounding us.” He gestured to the magnificent tree they stood upon. “That is why I brought you here, where the connection between my home and the spirit world is strongest.” 

Zuko glanced at Katara uncertainly, clearly unnerved. In his eyes she saw signs of the same chaos swirling inside her own mind. The implications of what Huu spoke of were beyond her grasp, but only just. She was after all, a friend of the Avatar, and she had seen many incredible things since she had met him --things that had taught her just how much power spirits could have in their world. 

“Huu,” she began, already deducing the answer to her own question, “are there other places like this?”

“Of course.” 

_ The Spirit Oasis in the North Pole,  _ Katara thought. Many unbelievable things had happened that night, but she hadn’t felt the particular magnetism Huu spoke of, not then --and she had not seen her mother there, nor, she was fairly certain, had Zuko seen his. “You said we were pulled here…”

He nodded. “Spiritual energy is attracted to spiritual energy.” He frowned in consideration. “It took me a lifetime to establish my connection with the spirit world. You are both very young to have such a strong tie with it. Strange...”

Zuko was silent, but Katara could tell he was carefully considering everything that Huu was saying. A small crease had appeared on his brow, slight wrinkles at the corners of his mouth. 

“We’re surprised by it too,” Katara admitted, speaking for them both. She wanted answers. A million questions bubbled in her mind, but her eyes fell to the emptiness of the sky and her heart sank, knowing that the creature she wanted to see gliding through the air was unlikely to appear. Answers about whatever was happening to her and Zuko would have to wait. What was most important now was finding the others and continuing on their way to Ba Sing Se to warn the Earth King of the Fire Nation’s approaching forces. 

Zuko must have been having a similar conversation with himself, because he cleared his throat and turned to Huu. “We need to find our friends and…” He deliberated for a moment, before carefully saying, “One of them is the Avatar. Regardless of our, uh, spirit situation, he  _ must  _ have felt the pull of this place even more so, right? Is it possible you’ve seen him and the rest of our group?”

Huu shook his head sadly. “I’m sorry, I’m afraid I haven’t. You are the only guests the swamp has seen lately.”

A spark went off in Katara’s mind. “But you said there are other places like this,” she said excitedly. “Are there any close by? Close enough that the Avatar could have gotten pulled there instead?”

The man considered it for a moment before replying. “It would have to be somewhere with a stronger spiritual gravity than the swamp… But we have had visitors from such a place before. Knowledge Seekers --come to collect information for the Spirit Library.”

“The Spirit Library?”

Huu shrugged. “That’s what the Banyan Tree told me it was called.”

“Well, if the Banyan Tree said...” Zuko muttered under his breath.

Katara elbowed him pointedly, intent on the information Huu was presenting to them --as nonsensical as it seemed. “Did the Tree say where the library was, Huu? Can you take us there?”

“I can take you to where the Knowledge Seekers left the swamp, but after that I don’t know the way for sure.”

“If what you say is true, maybe when we get closer the Spirit Library will draw us in as the swamp did.” 

“Katara…” Zuko began to protest, but stopped at the look on her face. He closed his mouth abruptly and looked away.

“Please, Huu, will you guide us to the spot you mentioned?” 

“For you, young spirits, of course.”

Katara gave a grateful sigh. At least they would soon be free of the swamp. That was something, a purpose --and the Spirit Library would be another goal. At the moment, it seemed --though slim- their best chance of reuniting with the others and if nothing else maybe they would get lucky and they would find Appa flying overhead once they were out from under the trees. 

As for the rest of it...the spirit parts, the connection between her and Zuko… 

A library seemed as good a place as any to get some answers. 

***

As Huu led them down from the upper reaches of the Banyan Tree to a narrow trail --barely distinguishable from the thick growth of the swamp- Zuko observed how he expertly picked his way over the very roots that had tripped him nearly every step of the way the day before. Perhaps there was something to the connection he claimed to share with the Tree, crazy as it sounded.

_ If that’s true maybe there’s also some truth in what he said about my connection with the spirits...and Katara.  _ His reactions to this idea were complicated. On the one hand it meant that maybe there was an explanation for his feelings towards Katara other than a foolish crush. Maybe supernatural logic held the answers about the moment they had shared in Oma and Shu’s tomb, the odd dreams he had had when she was sick, this continued draw he had towards her… On the other hand, if that were true, did that mean the forgiveness she had granted him and the trust that they had begun to build were also artificially created, generated by some spiritual force? He valued her friendship. The notion that it might be a lie sent a pang of hurt through him. 

Zuko did not have time to dwell on this for long. The path spat them out onto a small encampment and his focus shifted to the present once more. There were people settled beside a wide channel of water gathered around a small fire, the smell of cooking fish filling the air. 

He did not question how in all their aimless wanderings the day before they had not stumbled upon the Swamp Tribe. Zuko was done questioning anything about the swamp.  _ The sooner we leave the better.  _

“Huu,” one of the tribesman called from his place by the fire. “How are ya?” It took him a moment to notice Katara and Zuko standing beside him, but when he did his brow furrowed. “Who are they?”

Huu smiled at his friend. “Travelers,” he said, “but they are ready to leave now. Will you lend me a boat?”

“‘Course, ‘course, you need some help?”

“No, no, we’ll be alright.” Huu waved a hand at the man and strolled up to the water’s edge where several slim canoes rested, nestled amongst the reeds.

Katara quickly hopped aboard without so much as a wobble, her balance that of an expert accustomed to spending time in such a vessel. 

To his great embarrassment, Zuko did not manage to join her with nearly the same amount of grace. The moment his foot landed in the tip of the canoe he teetered, nearly toppling into the water. 

Fortunately Katara quickly anchored him with a hand to the elbow and a good-natured grin. “This isn’t like a Fire Nation ship,” she chuckled, amused. 

“A little smaller,” Zuko agreed, dropping to a seated position before he could humiliate himself further. Even then he felt as though he might tip into the water at any moment, especially when Huu climbed into the very back of the boat causing it to tip for a moment to one side. Zuko’s hands instinctively gripped either side of the canoe tightly. 

“Ready?” Huu asked.

Zuko glanced over his shoulder, looking past Katara’s head to where the man stood. He may have had very little experience with canoes, but he did know they typically required paddles to propel the vessel to a desired location and steer. To his astonishment Huu’s hands were remarkably empty, yet he gave no indication he was anything other than entirely prepared. 

Katara had noticed this as well. “Do you need to borrow a paddle?” she asked, turning her head towards the shore where the Swamp Tribe was watching the strangers depart. 

Huu laughed, a deep sound that emanated from his belly like a croak from a badger frog. “Don’t you travel by water in the icy regions too?”

“Of course,” Katara replied indignantly, “but we usually use paddles…”

The swamp tribesman wordlessly lifted both his arms above his head as though preparing to dive into the water. One arm quickly began to wind a circle in the air and as soon as it had dropped to Huu’s side the other began to circle as well until it appeared as though he were attempting to swim through thin air. 

In response the water around the canoe surged and sent the craft on it ways down the channel. The faster Huu’s arms began to move the faster the boat moved. Soon mist was spraying Zuko’s face as they sped quickly through the swamp. He smiled at Katara’s gleeful exclamation near his ear, but the scenery was passing by at an alarming rate and his stomach was doing nervous acrobats, bracing for a crash that seemed imminent.

Her knees bumped into his back as she turned to shout to Huu, “Can I try?”

The boat drifted to a stop as soon as Huu lowered his arms. Zuko craned his neck to see Huu gesturing for Katara to switch places with him and assume his position at the rear of the boat. 

“Katara, what are you doing?” Zuko asked worriedly as Huu sat behind him and she stood. It all seemed so precarious and in his mind he saw her toppling into the water to be swallowed by some swamp creature or knock her head on a rock. 

“It looked fun,” Katara confessed. She did not seem to notice Zuko’s fearful tone. She lifted her arms as Huu had done and repeated the movements he had performed in a slow and careful way. 

The water responded, but less precisely than it had at Huu’s practiced paddling. An eager splash found its way to Zuko’s head. He frowned as he wiped the water from his face and brushed it from his hair, leaving spikes where his fingers had been. 

“Sorry!” Katara called, but she barely looked to see what damage her bending had done, concentrated as she was on success. Zuko didn’t care, he was too busy observing the way she bit at her lower lip as she focused, captivated by her determined sighs of frustration. 

Several rocky attempts later the smoothness of her movements improved and shortly after that they were once again flying down the channel again, Katara giving a wild, holler of uncontainable glee as she bent the water. Zuko looked back to see her, hair streaming wildly behind her, eyes bright with excitement, and all the nerves of before fled his body at the sight, replaced by a joy that swelled in response to hers.

***

Just when Katara was beginning to find a reason to enjoy the swamp, Huu tapped her foot to get her attention and pointed to a spot on the shore. Their destination.

Reluctantly she steered the boat in the direction Huu had indicated. Being the only waterbender in the Southern Water Tribe growing up she hadn’t learned to control a canoe like this and while she had seen benders gently guiding boats down the canals in the North Pole this had been nothing like that. This had been exhilarating, rapid acceleration. A thrill. She regretted they had not been able to travel through the swamp in that manner the whole time. 

It was clear Zuko did not share her sentiment as he eagerly clambered out of the boat once they had reached land --or maybe he was just remembering the urgency to their situation that she had momentarily forgotten. 

Huu swiftly led them through the maze of trees until at last a faint, golden glow began to appear through the thick branches. 

The boundary of the swamp was sudden. One minute there was the damp and darkness and the next there was a line of trees whose other side was touched by a harsh and blinding light. The way out. 

Katara turned to Huu who was holding back expectantly. He appeared uninterested in whatever lay beyond the swamp, but he did smile at her glance. “Thank you,” she told him. 

“I hope you two find your friends and I hope you two will one day soon see the gift the spirits have seen fit to give you.” 

She was unsure how to respond to that, but Zuko surprisingly answered instead. “I wish you could tell us more…”

Huu shrugged. “I have already shared with you all that the Banyan Tree saw fit to tell me. The rest you will have to discover for yourselves.”

“Well… It’s given us a lot to consider,” Katara said. 

“There is much to consider in life,” Huu agreed. “Just try not to overthink it. The spirits will guide you.” With a wave he turned away, the mist of the swamp not so much swallowing him as reabsorbing him.

Katara blinked and glanced at Zuko who also appeared bemused by Huu’s parting words. “Ready?” 

“This moment could not have come soon enough.” 

They eagerly stepped away from the swamp, but it was impossible to put distance between themselves and the knowledge that something  _ more  _ was happening between them --even if they had put off figuring out just what  _ more  _ was...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're confused I promise things will start to make more sense in the coming chapters ;)
> 
> I think I am about as excited as Zuko and Katara to be out of the swamp because I have sooo much planned for the future that I can't wait to share.
> 
> As always kudos, comments, thoughts, feelings, all appreciated and loved more than you will ever know! And thank you so much for reading!


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!! If you're new to this story, welcome. If you've been with this story since the beginning please allow me to express my gratitude yet again for your support. To anyone stumbling upon this work: I hope you like this chapter!

“Do you, you know… Sense anything?”

“No, do you?”

“I don’t think so… I’ve watched Aang go into the spiritual world before, but I don’t exactly understand what a connection to it is supposed to  _ feel  _ like,” Katara groaned. 

Zuko’s eyes met hers briefly and there was a warmth --a lightness- in his chest.  _ Maybe something like that…  _ but  _ that _ wasn’t going to guide them to the Spirit Library. In fact, if anything, it only created more problems. 

Huu’s words kept returning to him. He turned them over and over again in his mind, trying to pair them with the context of his own experiences. To distinguish what was authentic emotion and what might be the influence of spirits. 

_ ‘You have spirit energy inside of you…’  _ Zuko recalled the wave of glowing blue sweeping him from the shores of Ember Island, pulling him back to life.  _ ‘Spiritual energy is attracted to spiritual energy…’  _ Memories resurfaced of Katara drawing closer and closer in Oma and Shu’s tomb.  _ ‘Some of us are more connected than others…’  _ When she was sick he had dreamed repeatedly of death, of loss. All of these experiences seemed likely to have had some otherworldly element affecting them. 

Other instances he could not as precisely tie to Huu’s ideas... The night of the fire he had carried Katara back to camp in his arms. She had placed a gentle, kind hand on his scar and she had said,  _ ‘You can change --you are changing.’  _ After they had left Hama and Yurai’s home they had shared secrets with each other of lightning and bloodbending. She had smiled --he was almost certain- at  _ him  _ when his teachings had paid off and Aang had finally firebended. And in the swamp, when he had woken to find her curled into his chest… These moments felt significant, but...

He stole a glance at her now as she shielded her eyes from the fierce sunlight and scanned the horizon. Her clothes were torn, there was mud streaked across her cheeks, caked in her hair, and yet he would’ve compared it to looking at the brilliance of the moon. He felt himself become completely transfixed by the determined glint in her eyes… She turned to him and his heart hiccuped. It was painful to wonder if the sensation was a lie.  _ Could this really just be the work of spirits? _

“We  _ have  _ to figure out where this library is,” she sighed. 

She was so clearly focused on the important task at hand. Not once had she brought up the way the spirits might be impacting  _ their  _ connection, only how it might help them find the others. Zuko cursed his own foolishness, his self-centeredness, and resolved to be better.  _ Like her.  _

His natural inclination to pessimism did not give him a strong start to achieving this goal. “I don’t know… What if Huu’s knowledge is inaccurate? What if they aren’t even there?” He winced as soon as the words left his mouth, as she threw him a dark look. 

“Where’s your determination? You chased the Avatar for nearly a  _ year.  _ Now that you’re on his side you’re less interested in finding him?” she demanded.

It had been a long time since she had brought up that part of his past, Zuko looked to his feet in shame. Of course, she had every right to. Even if it often felt as though it were a lifetime since he had been her enemy, the truth was not so easily forgotten --for either of them. 

Her words triggered painful memories. Zuko walked past Katara, headed for the next hill, seeking space.  _ ‘A year,’  _ she had said, but that wasn’t right… _ No... _ “I chased him longer than that,” he muttered. 

There was the shuffling of feet and he saw the cloud of dust that they kicked up as she trotted to catch up with him, but he did not lift his eyes from the ground. 

“I don’t think I ever asked how it was you came to the South Pole,” Katara said quietly. 

He hadn’t realized she had heard him, but it was clearly a response to his quiet correction of her earlier statement… Her words weren’t an apology --he would have been even more ashamed than he already was had it been one- but they were an invitation, a chance to talk about his uncomfortable past with less of the judgement her previous questions had carried. 

Zuko was still unsure if he deserved such kindness. The curiosity in her face was what finally convinced him to speak regardless of the guilt he still carried for who he had been. Someone whose actions were not easily forgiven even if their reasoning was explained. “I started searching for the Avatar when my father banished me --three years ago. He said if I found him my honor would be restored. That I could come home...”

She tilted her head as she processed his statement, trying to align her thoughts. “But, we didn’t know the Avatar was alive until…” The significance dawned on her and the rest of the words she might have said were replaced with a silence in which she looked at him with a deep sympathy --that again he questioned his worthiness of receiving. 

“Yeah, so, that day in the South Pole was…” Zuko tried to smile, to make light of the past, but the expression was more pained grimace than anything. 

Katara seemed to understand. “It gave you hope. It gave me hope too.” She gave a choked laugh, sickened by the irony of it. They had been searching for Aang for very different reasons. “I always believed the Avatar was out there --I guess you did too.”

“I had to. I had no choice… It was that or…” He shrugged. “I really didn’t know what else to do, to hold onto.”

“Why didn’t your uncle try and talk you out of it? I mean, no offense, but-”

“It was a fool’s errand. I know… I wanted my honor back so badly, though. I had already lost so much, I just--.There was no convincing me of anything else. Even after all those years it wasn’t until Azula tried to--” he shook his head, unable to elaborate. “It wasn’t until that day you saved me that I realized there was no honor to go back to… There hasn’t been honor in the Fire Nation for a very long time.”

Katara was quiet for several minutes, then, so softly Zuko wasn’t sure he had heard her at all, she breathed, “Why would a father banish his own son?” 

He didn’t respond for a while, simply titled his head to the sun, drinking in its light, its comfort. When at last he spoke it was in a flat, carefully controlled voice that tightened in spite of his efforts with each passing second. “Once my mom was gone everything became different… She had always protected me, defended who I was, encouraged me. Without her the pressure of my father’s expectations increased significantly. I seemed to fail at every turn. I was never what he wanted me to be. I wasn’t as authoritative as my sister, I couldn’t bend like her either. My father saw me as weak, disappointing, a disgrace to the title of Fire Prince… So, I decided I would try to appeal to him in other ways. I pleaded to be allowed to attend a war meeting. I wanted a chance to prove myself, away from Azula’s perfection.”

“They were planning an attack on the Earth Kingdom… A general was presenting his plan to sacrifice a whole division. It was meant to be strategy, a way to win the battle, but I couldn’t understand how throwing away the lives of our own people would mean  _ victory _ . I guess back then I didn’t even really comprehend that, of course, there were others who would die alongside the Fire Nation soldiers…that the other pieces on the board also represented human beings --I was so  _ blind _ . Still, I knew the faces of our fighters --fighters like my cousin. If the general got what he wanted they wouldn’t return to their families. So, I spoke out against the plan...and my father was furious. I had severely shamed him and he told me the only way to resolve the matter was through an Agni Kai.” 

“I thought… I thought I was going to have to face the general. That scared me, but…” Zuko fell silent. He had never told anyone this story. He had never even spoken about it with his uncle, but for her the words. 

“Zuko?” Katara asked in a hushed tone. 

“It wasn’t the general I faced.” He did not notice the tears that ran down his expressionless face. “The Fire Lord ordered me to fight for my honor, but I couldn’t do it… I refused. I begged him to forgive me. I bowed lower than I ever had before and I  _ begged _ , but… It wasn’t enough. He…” Zuko lifted a hand to his left cheek and pressed it there, as though he could will the flesh of his palm to adhere to his face, to erase the permanent mark another’s hand had left there… 

Katara gently reached for his arm and tugged him to a stop. She turned him so that he faced her, but he could not bring himself to lift his head. The tears dropped in sunlit flashes to the dirt, leaving black dots like dark constellations in the earth by his feet. He squeezed his eyes closed and willed them to swallow him whole.

That did not happen. 

Instead, he felt two arms encircle him and give a slow, careful squeeze of comfort. 

Her head tucked beside his, her nose buried in his neck, and when she spoke he heard a dampness in her voice, as though she were fighting not to cry with him, “Zuko… I’m so sorry.”

There was something to the way she said it… Zuko could tell she meant it, more than anyone ever had. 

*** 

Whether the spirits were guiding them or they were mindlessly wandering Katara could not tell, but just when she felt her feet would carry her no further they stumbled upon a small settlement that seemed to rise from the dust of the road itself. 

Katara read the fading print of the sign hanging above the entrance aloud, “The Misty Palms Oasis - One of Nature’s Wonders…”

“It does take your breath away,” Zuko said, frowning at a steaming chunk of ice that could be seen in the center of the place. A dog was licking enthusiastically at the less than pristine mass --a far cry from the beautiful, clear arctic surfaces Katara was used to.

Still, she was relieved to see Zuko had regained some of his dry wit. Conversations had been reduced to short, soft-spoken exchanges since he had told her the tragic story of his banishment. It had been a long and quiet trek till now. 

“Maybe someone here will know of the Spirit Library.” Katara continued forward, glancing around at the few buildings that made up the ‘Oasis’, several deserted, sandy structures in various states of composure. 

Of the limited options there was really only one place that held faint signs of promise. A nameless business with a tattered green curtain hung over the entrance and a small gathering of people outside it. They all wore the same brown tunics with tan pants and wrappings to match. One of them noticed Katara observing and cracked a few-toothed grin at her before spitting into the sand at his feet and wiping his mouth roughly. 

Katara took a step away. Her back met Zuko’s stomach. When she turned to apologize he was looking to where she had, seeking out what had caused her to retreat. “Sandbenders,” he muttered. “I’ve read about them… From a Fire Nation textbook --so what I gathered might not be accurate- but they’re supposedly bit, prickly. I guess living in the desert does that to you.”

“We’re in the desert?” Katara knew the term, but having never been in one she wasn’t sure what to expect it to look like. Their surroundings did seem rather…empty.

“Pretty sure. Can’t you feel it? It’s so dry.” 

She had been so caught up in trying to feel some sort of guidance from the spirits that she hadn’t paid much mind to the atmosphere, but now that Zuko mentioned it… She focused her senses on finding any nearby water, but the only places to pull from came from the pouch at her side, the dirty ice behind her, and the unknown liquids hiding somewhere in the building in front of her. Her mouth suddenly felt as though it were full of cotton. 

“I’m thirsty, are you thirsty? Let’s go inside.” Katara shuffled forward, carefully ignoring the eyes of the sandbender that followed her.

There were very few people within the establishment. In one corner an old man sat contemplating a Pai Sho board alone, in another a single traveler stiffened at the sound of newcomers, but did not turn from the meal they were bent over.

“Katara?” Zuko’s voice came from behind her. “You said you were thirsty. Do you want to get something to drink?”

“Right, yeah…” She shifted her attention to the fruit hanging in nets above a long countertop, behind which stood a tall man with two swords strapped to his back. They reminded Katara of the dual blades Zuko had fought Jet with, the blades that likely still sat atop Appa’s back along with the rest of their supplies --and money.  _ Damn. _ “Uh, Zuko, my pockets are empty.”

She watched his hands retreat to his own pockets, patting them hopelessly. “Shit… Didn’t think about that.” 

Katara stared longingly at the fruit, but the bartender seemed unlikely to offer anything for free. There were probably barely enough patrons to keep the place running. “Well, maybe we should keep moving after all…” She turned to Zuko, but he was no longer standing beside her. “Zuko?”

In the dim lighting it took a moment for her eyes to pick out his lean figure approaching the gentleman at the Pai Sho table. She quickly joined him. “What are you doing?” she hissed. 

“Relax, I have an idea.” Zuko bowed respectfully to the elder who inclined his head in reply. “Would you take a friendly wager?”

“I do not make a point of gambling on Pai Sho.”

“Please, we ran into some trouble on the road and I’d like to be able to buy my friend a drink and see about some accommodations for the night.”

“Hmmm I see. I was poor and in love once too,” the man chuckled, amused, and Katara fought the urge to join him at the vibrant color that rose in Zuko’s cheeks. The man waved away any further explanation the firebender tried to offer. “Fine, sit. I will make an exception to my rule. If you win I will pay for your room and board for the evening.”

“Thank you, sir, for your kindness.” 

“Don’t thank me yet,” he laughed. “If I win you will clean my shop for me. It is in need of dusting.”

_ No clue why that would be,  _ Katara though. The stuff was everywhere, even in her eyes, which she rubbed for relief as Zuko settled across from the gentleman and prepared to start the game. She observed the setup closely, though she had never played the game herself ---there were other games to be played in the South Pole, usually more physical in nature. She had bested Sokka many-a-time at Frost Racing and Polar Ball, but she gathered that Zuko was not about to aim the finely carved pieces in his hands at a goal as she would in Polar Ball. 

_ Not nearly as fun,  _ Katara decided, after watching the steady exchange of movements for a few minutes. Nevertheless she made a mental note to ask Zuko about the strategy of the game later, and she did find herself getting caught up in the tense energy of focus that surrounded the players. 

The competition dragged on in silence. Neither Zuko nor the old man showed any signs of disappointment or joy over the direction the match was taking. It was only when Zuko gave the slightest of sharp inhales that Katara realized something had gone wrong. A muscle in his jaw twitched, a flaw in his disciplined composure. She knew him well enough now to know it was not a good sign. 

His hand reached for a tile with a white flower upon it and moved it across the board. 

“An unusual strategy…” the man commented. 

“I learned it from my uncle,” Zuko confessed. 

Katara caught the note of sadness in his voice that a stranger would not and gave his shoulder a brief squeeze of comfort. 

“Your uncle favors the White Lotus Gambit?” The man sounded surprised. “Not many still cling to the ancient ways.”

Zuko shrugged. “He always said those who do can always find a friend.”

The man considered this for a moment. “Let’s call the match a draw. Here.” He passed Zuko a handful of coins. “For your room and board.”

“Sir, please, you had me cornered. It was a clear victory.” Zuko set his palms flat against the table, unwilling to accept the coins. 

Katara was not so proud or stubborn. She held out her hand and gladly let the money fall into it. She nodded to the man. “Thank you very much.”

“Katara, I didn’t win, we can’t- It’s not-” 

She ignored Zuko’s flustered words and instead grabbed his hand and pulled him to his feet. “Thank you again,” she told the man, and walked Zuko to the bar. She untangled her fingers from his only once they were seated. He was blushing furiously again. “What do you want?” she asked. 

He stared at her for a moment before sighing, resigned. “You pick.”

“We’ll take two mango juices,” she informed the waiting bartender. She turned back to Zuko with a smile. “Sokka discovered mango when we arrived in the Earth Kingdom. He’s obsessed --I guess I kind of am too.”

They watched as the man behind the counter drew his swords and sliced the fruit --a motion clearly much-practiced. In seconds he had prepared and served them both a cup of what could only be described as refreshing, orange slush --the first they’d had to drink or eat in over a day. 

As the sweetness coated her tongue Katara felt herself relax somewhat for perhaps the first time since they had fallen into the swamp. The sensation did not last long. As normal as it  _ seemed  _ to be enjoying a beverage and resting their feet, it could not be denied that time was still of the utmost importance. Aang, Sokka, Toph, and Jet could be anywhere, Ba Sing Se was who knew how far away, and Azula and her  _ friends  _ were no doubt still marching towards it --army in tow.  _ I  _ should _ be drinking quickly and moving on to asking the people around them about the whereabouts of the Spirit Library...  _ And yet her mind wandered away from those immediate concerns. 

“What are you thinking about?” Zuko asked quietly. 

With all the many things to worry over her own answer was not what she expected it to be, though it was truthful. “That girl from the night we left Hama’s hut…”

Zuko went very still. “Which one?”

“The tall one. With the knives.” 

“What about her?”

_ This is not important right now.  _ But Katara couldn’t help it. She wondered if this was the work of the spirits, influencing her thoughts about Zuko... If it was, she decided she did not care. They wouldn’t be finding the Spirit Library this very moment...and she wanted to know. “It seemed like there was more to her history with you than just being a friend of your sister’s…”

“You just want to know everything about my past today, huh?” His tone was teasing, but his eyes remained fixed on the drink in front of him and his hand fiddled loosely with the straw. There was a pause before he finally answered, quietly, “She was my first kiss.”

Katara poked his shoulder with her finger, trying to ease some of the awkwardness that had settled between them. “I knew it! I knew there was something there…”

Zuko rolled his eyes, but his lips tilted in a subtle half-smile. “Okay, I think it’s my turn to ask you a question...”

There was a mischievous look in his eye that made her stomach flutter. She tried to keep her voice light as she replied, “Fine. That seems only fair.”

“Jet.”

“That’s not a question,” Katara pointed out. 

“It seemed like there was more to his history with  _ you  _ than just being a… friend? Enemy?”

“It was a bit ambiguous until recently,” she admitted. “Friend again, I suppose.”

“But that’s not what I was asking…” 

“He was…” Katara closed her eyes so she wouldn’t have to see the golden stare fixed upon her and let out an exaggerated exhale. “He was my first kiss.”

“Knew it,” Zuko smirked. 

Katara was about to respond to his smugness with a comment of her own, but was interrupted the moment her mouth opened, by a rambunctious holler from the doorway. Behind them a swarm of sandbenders strode in. 

One walked straight to the counter, his arm brushing Katara’s shoulder as he leaned carelessly against the surface.  _ Jerk,  _ she fought the urge to snap at him to pay attention to his surroundings. He wasn’t worth the trouble it would cause nor the attention it would draw. She focused carefully on enjoying her drink and ignoring the man invading her space. 

“A round for my friends and I,” the sandbender said loudly. “We’re celebrating!”

One of his friends came and slapped a hand to his shoulder enthusiastically, shaking him. “What fortune, to find a sky-bison in the middle of the Si Wong Desert!”

Mid-swallow, Katara nearly choked on the mango juice that stuck in her throat. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A shorter chapter since I got crunched for time this week, but that does mean I hope to have the next update out next week rather than the week after (and I think this chapter works on its own)! I have so much planned it's so hard not to just spit it all out, but I do hope the intrigue continues to be present for you my lovely readers and that you trust with time we've got some epic stuff coming... 
> 
> Meanwhile, let me know what you think if you feel so inclined! It's the holiday season as I post this, I'm sending you all best wishes and hope for the new new year -think we could all use some of that <3


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This turned out longer than I expected it would!! An extra day was needed for some editing, hence the delay ;) but here we are...

Katara’s eyes were wide as she turned to face him. 

_ ‘Did he just say...?’  _ Zuko mouthed. 

Her lips pressed into a grim line and she tilted her head back towards the sandbenders. He mirrored her, listening intently. 

“The sky-bison are all dead,” the bartender grunted.

“We thought so too, but we’ve got one --right outside. We’re going to take him to Ba Sing Se.”

“Maybe the Earth King himself will bid on him! A friend for his bear,” the other sandbender said excitedly. 

The bartender wiped at a cup with a rag, appearing disinterested, but his curiosity was clearly getting the better of him, “What’s it look like?” 

“Well, we’ve got him all tied up right now.”

“He was throwing such a fit.”

“But he’s about what you’d expect. Furry. Big arrow across his back. Lots of legs.”

“You can go look if you’d like. We’ve got some people watching over him.”

Zuko had heard all he needed to. It was clearly Appa the sandbenders had found, but then,  _ where are the others?  _

The worried look on Katara’s face told him she clearly echoed his fears. Zuko knew her desire to act would grow with each passing moment, he knew because he’d experienced the same before. How many times had Uncle had to restrain him from acting too hastily? They needed to get away from the ears of Appa’s captors and think. 

Zuko waved to get the bartender’s attention. “Is there a room we can rent for the night?” he asked the man. 

“Rooms are out back.”

“And food? Can we purchase some food?”   


“If you’ve got the funds for it.”   


Katara was not paying attention, her gaze was fixed on the men collecting their drinks. Zuko took the remainder of the coins from the Pai Sho match from beside her hand and slid them across the counter. “Is this enough?”

The bartender glanced at the small, but shiny pile. “That will be fine.” He ducked behind the counter and when he rose again set a key in front of them. “Like I said, out back. I’ll have someone bring you whatever we’ve got prepared for dinner.”

Zuko grabbed the key and nudged Katara to follow before making his way towards the door, the din of the rejoicing sandbenders rising behind them as their drinks were served. 

Outside, what had been a listless scene was now completely transformed. The setting sun had painted the sky a violent orange. In its intense glow a familiar and unmistakable mass lay, subdued, ropes pressing into his fur. His eyes were closed, but Zuko noticed with some relief that Appa was still breathing steadily. A group of sandbenders stood around the sky-bison. As Zuko had feared there were too many for a direct approach. He caught Katara’s wrist with his hand as she rushed forward. 

“Zuko,” she snapped, whirling towards him. “Don’t try and stop me.”

“We need to rest, we need food. We need our strength… We don’t stand a chance against that many benders,” he whispered, inclining his head subtly towards the sandbender guards. 

An army was nothing to her, a wrath had risen in her eyes, icy and sharp. “Zuko...” she warned. 

“Please... We’ll come back. Tonight. When it’s dark.”

He saw her fighting the instinct to storm over to Appa and unleash all her power and fury upon his captors. Her hands balled into tight fists and an angry tremor went through her, but she at last met his eyes again. Something inside him threatened to break at the pain he saw in them. “Why is he so quiet? So still? What have they done to him?” He could hear the tears she held back, a wobble in her voice.

“I’m not sure…but we’re going to figure it out, and we’re going to get him back. I promise.”

She reluctantly allowed him to guide her away from the sky-bison. 

Behind the bar were a series of small buildings nearly identical to all the others in the ‘oasis’. The key Zuko carried was barely needed, the thin, wood door covering the entrance to the space was little more than a suggestion. Inside was a single bed with a ragged, red sheet for a blanket. Little else decorated the room except for faded curtains hung haphazardly over the window and a thin, blue rug on the dirt floor. 

Katara threw herself onto the bed, a cloud of dust spewing from it as she did. She coughed unhappily. “Wonderful.”

“It’ll do. A place to reset.” 

“What’s the plan, Zuko?” she asked impatiently.

“It’s like I said. We wait.” There was a soft knock at the ‘door’ and he turned towards the sound. “Wait and eat.”

She seemed about to argue, but as Zuko collected the tray holding their meal and placed it on the floor her mouth snapped shut. 

“Hungry?” he asked nonchalantly. 

In reply she lowered herself to the floor and collected one of the flatbreads from the tray and dipped it into a bowl with a herbal smelling paste inside of it, her other hand already stretching curiously towards some freshly cut vegetables. Zuko joined her on the floor, his hunger more prominent now with the promise of a meal before him. 

The food was quickly devoured. With not a crumb left to consider, Katara leaned back against the bed and stared longingly at the fading light of dusk out the window. 

“Another hour or so,” Zuko said.

“Did we really wake up in the swamp this morning? It feels like it’s been weeks.”

Zuko’s aching feet had to agree. They had covered a lot of ground in their desperation to find the others. “At least we found Appa.”

“The others can’t be far.”

“Aang wouldn’t have just  _ left  _ Appa. Something’s happened.”

He heard the fear in her voice, a rare thing, and sought desperately for some words of comfort he could offer, but with no more knowledge than she had anything he had to say would be little more than a lie. And he did not want to lie. Not to her. 

Katara stood and began to pace the length of the small room. “What if they’ve been separated? What if a different group of sandbenders took Aang? And another took Toph, Sokka, Jet, and Momo? Or what if Aang got pulled to the library, but the others fell off of Appa like we did and they’re lost and wandering the desert? What if-”

Zuko rose to his feet and placed himself directly in her path, he put his hands on her shoulders. “Katara, look at me.”

She shifted her gaze from her feet to his eyes. Something she saw in his face must have anchored her, because she took a deep steadying breath and some of the tension he felt in her muscles eased. 

“We couldn’t fight them if we didn’t take care of ourselves first, okay? I was never the best at it, but Uncle always told me never to fight hungry or tired if it could be helped. Now, we have another hour or so before the sandbenders settle for the night. They’re drinking, that’s to our advantage. If we wait a bit longer they’ll be asleep --and probably clumsier. We’ll use this chance to rest.”

“Okay,” Katara sighed, and he could tell his reasoning had soothed her. It was unlike her to be so shaken, he knew seeing Appa in such a state had likely set her mind spinning --as his often did when he allowed himself to wonder where his uncle might be, and in what condition. 

She had consoled him earlier that day, he was glad of the chance to return the favor. Honored to see the trust in her eyes as she stared into his own. “And Appa might be able to lead us where the others are...” 

Another sigh as she nodded. 

He was surprised she had not yet looked away, surprised she had not moved away. The longer they stood there the more dangerous it was getting... There was a wandering stand of hair that had fallen across her right cheek, what a simple act it would seem to gently wipe his hand across her face and tuck it behind her ear… 

_ Except it’s not that simple.  _ There were spirits to think of, and a certain Avatar with a crush, and Katara --her lips were slightly parted and she looked as though she were about to say something… 

Zuko dropped his hands and withdrew before she could speak --before she could tell him to back away as he was certain she was about to. He tried to move casually, but the desire of the moment was not easily shed. The nervous energy of it lingered, causing his hand to lightly shake as he reached for the rug on the floor and tore a fraction of it off. 

“What are you doing?” Katara asked.

He wound the blue cloth around the back of his head and knotted it, everything below his cheeks concealed. “It’s probably not worth much. I doubt that this place sees anything other than sandbenders, but at least it’s a bit of a disguise. Best not to attract attention…”

“Right, good idea…” Katara reached for the red sheet on the bed and repeated the same process as he had with the rug. “How do I look?” She turned to face him.

The cloth concealed his smile. He had seen this look in her eyes before, glaring at him from across a frozen plain in the North Pole. He did not envy the sandbender that faced her. “You look like an avenging spirit --ready for anything,” he told her. 

The corners of her eyes crinkled in reply.

***

Katara wondered what it was about Zuko’s eyes that drew her in. Was it simply the beauty of their color? Or the earnestness with which they watched her?  _ No…  _ Those characteristics did not explain the fizzling energy she had felt between them as he placed his hands on her shoulders and searched her face.  _ For a moment I almost wanted…. wanted… What?  _ She wasn’t sure, or at least she didn’t want to examine her thoughts too deeply --not now- but she did know there had been a  _ want.  _ A nameless desire. Even after he had turned away the warmth his eyes had ignited within her still remained. 

It had taken her some time for her heart rate to settle again, but somehow within the hours between dusk and total darkness she had slipped briefly into sleep. 

Katara was surprised when she woke to Zuko gently shaking her shoulder. She quickly seized her piece of red fabric and tied it around her face, feeling renewed, energized. It had been right of him to have them rest. 

There was more to the feeling than just a quick nap. As she followed Zuko out the door, stepped into the cool night air, and was bathed in moonlight, a grin ghosted across her face.  _ The sandbenders won’t know what hit them.  _

“Let’s go rescue a sky-bison.” She did not wait for Zuko’s response, she led the way back to the center of the Oasis, the sand white as snow beneath her feet. 

The courtyard was as quiet as any tundra she had ever wandered across, but Katara knew better than to assume that meant it was empty. She peered carefully around the corner of a building, aware of Zuko’s crouched behind her, also scanning the area. 

Only one sandbender stood, eyes open. The rest were sprawled in clumps across their element, drunken snores a chorus that drifted to Zuko and Katara in broken rhythm. They would have to be careful not to wake any of their enemies. And Appa… Katara’s heart gave a pang at the sight of the ropes still binding the sky-bison in place --right in the middle of the group. Something still seemed remarkably different about his demeanor. It was as though his energy had been drained from him, and any fight along with it. 

_ Maybe he’s just asleep too, _ Katara tried to assure herself, but the pit in her stomach refused to leave.

“We need to take out the guard. Quietly,” Zuko whispered.

“I think I have an idea.” It would not be kind, but she would move quickly to spare the sandbender any great pain. “Follow my lead.”

Katara lifted her hands and reached for the ice at the center of the courtyard, behind the sandbender guard. It melted at her command into a small sphere of floating water which she guided towards the sandbender. When it was above the guard’s head she jerked the water down onto the head of the sandbender and before the man could make a sound abruptly froze it in place. She quickly picked her way through the piles of the guard’s sleeping companions until she stood beside her victim, who struggled against the weight enveloping his head. She winced at the sight of the man’s horrified face encased in ice.

“Sorry,” she whispered, taking a club from the man’s belt. With the same precise timing as before, she melted the ice and struck him soundly with his own weapon. The man collapsed into a silent heap and Katara used some of the water from the sand beside him to ease the rapid swelling on his skull. There was no doubt the man would have a headache when he woke, but hopefully there would be no permanent damage. She did not want to be needlessly cruel.

When she looked up from her work Zuko had a stolen knife in his hand and was nearly done cutting Appa free. The sky-bison had hardly stirred.

Katara walked worriedly to Appa’s nose and rubbed it gently. “Appa,” she said softly. “Appa, wake up.” His big black eyes flashed silver in the moonlight as they flew open and Katara sighed in relief. 

Zuko appeared by her side, glancing nervously at a stirring sandbender. “Time to move.”

But Appa had begun to give a low moaning sound.

“Shh, shh,” Katara hissed frantically. “Appa, we’re here to rescue you, but we need you to be quiet.”

The sky-bison’s noise only continued to increase in volume. 

She stumbled backwards, confused by this unexpected reaction from a creature she knew so well. “Something’s wrong with him.”

Zuko bent to look into Appa’s eyes. “Crap, look at his pupils. He’s been drugged. That’s why he didn’t snap himself free of these ropes. He doesn’t seem to even recognize us.”

Katara was searching her mind desperately for a way to move the resistant sky-bison and flee without the creature in question to aid their flight when a sandbender at last was woken from their sleep by Appa’s complaints. His voice cut through the night like a dagger, “What are you two do-... Hey, that’s —Hey!” He called to his companions. “Wake up! Wake up! They’re trying to take the sky-bison. Thieves!” 

_ Thieves. _ As the heads of the sandbender troop rose in unison Katara felt beneath her layer of panic a dark storm of anger rising inside. “Thieves?!” she growled. “You  _ drugged _ Appa.”  _ What would Aang think if he were here to see this? Appa, the last of his kind, treated so cruelly?  _

She bent several icicles towards the shouting sandbender, pinning him momentarily to the sand. Then she turned her attention to the others, bruising many with rapid jets of water, sending them tumbling to the ground, too quick to be countered. For a moment nothing existed but the flurry of much-practiced movements. Anything to beat the enemies back. To make them feel some of the hurt she felt at the thought of Appa, her friend, confused and disoriented by the poison they had slipped into his veins. She was preparing an additional onslaught when Zuko’s shout distracted her. 

“Katara!” He was grappling with a sandbender, throwing bursts of flame that were blocked quickly by a wall of sand. Under the direction of the sandbender the ground beneath Zuko’s feet seemed to melt away, sending him several inches into the earth and rooting him there. 

Appa’s cries rang in her ears as Katara bent more water from the ice block towards Zuko’s attacker, driving him away. She transferred the liquid to her arm, wiping a line of approaching sandbenders away, but there was no denying they were outnumbered, and surrounded by the element of their enemy. She watched Zuko struggle to free himself and jumped away from the twitch of movement in the sand at her own feet. The tides were turning against them, rapidly.

_ How do we fight an opponent when the ground itself is no longer safe?  _ And there was so little water for her to use… Katara tried her best to reuse every precious drop, but with each attack the element was spread further and further, onto sandbender clothing, soaking into the earth, even evaporating into the air. Soon her supply would be depleted and what would she counter the sandbenders’ attacks with then? Appa’s confused lowing could be heard even over the roar of the flames Zuko was casting towards the enemies threatening to encircle him.  _ Think, Katara, think!  _

It was the third time over the past several days she had felt as though she were backed into a corner with no possible escape.  _ Falling through the air in the middle of a storm, battling a giant made of vines, and now…  _ A familiar voice began speaking to her again, powerful, tough, the voice of resilience, the voice of the survivor, the warrior. Without words it commanded her, calling upon her instincts. 

The chaos surrounding her slipped away until all she could hear was the singing of her own blood in her ears. She dropped her hands and gave her full attention to the splendor of the moon. It filled her with a calm and steady strength. 

Katara slid away from the quicksand an enemy was bending at her feet and in the same motion lifted her arms again, invisible tendrils of energy stretching from her fingertips. It was different than feeling for the water within plants, fainter, more difficult to place, but the element was still there, calling to her from within every living thing. 

Her strings of energy sought a place to tether, it was overwhelming --there were so many to choose from. There was one spot however that Katara was naturally drawn to. Something about it felt familiar, like a sword might in a soldier’s hands ---like the water in her pouch did when she bent it… If they were going to escape the sandbenders’ grasp with Appa she had to act quickly, Katara wasted no time in anchoring her power to the spot, and giving the strings a determined tug.

As water had moved at her command so many times before, she felt the blood do the same. 

But it was not an enemy who cried out in response...

It was Zuko.

***

As quickly as the sickening sensation came --pulling Zuko sharply forward by his chest- it vanished, an abrupt retreat. He was left on his knees, fingers curling in the sand before him, fighting to regain his composure. It was clearly not the work of a sandbender, it was unlike anything he had ever felt before, a power both incredible and terrifying. He had read enough of Hama’s book to know where it likely came from. 

_ So this is bloodbending…  _

The red cloth blocked Katara’s face from his view as he turned, but her eyes said everything, wide with shock, horror, disgust. He could see her chest rising and falling in panic as she looked from him to her hands --examining them as though they belonged to a stranger, a villain. 

It had been decidedly unpleasant to have his bloodbent. It was possibly amongst the most distressing things he had ever experienced. Zuko supposed he should be upset, except all he could think as he watched Katara now was of the forgiveness she had shown him. The encouragement she had given him to forgive himself and move forward. It was clear she would need the same lesson. 

“Katara,” Zuko called above Appa’s noises, hurling fire at a sandbender attempting to take advantage of the waterbender’s distracted state. He leapt over a pit of sinking sand and closed the distance between them. 

As his hand landed on her arm she tore her eyes away from her hands to study him for signs of injury, her face contorted with worry. Before she could say anything he spoke again, “It’s alright. It was an accident. Don’t worry about that. Katara, we  _ have  _ to get out of here --there’s too many.” 

Her posture was still tight with shame as she replied, “What about Appa? We can’t just leave him.”

The sky-bison was regarding them warily. Whatever the sandbenders had given him he clearly did not see them for who they really were, nevermind the fact he also seemed incapable of flying in this state. “He won’t come with us, what are we supposed to do?” Zuko spun and kicked, sending an arch of fire at the surrounding sandbenders. They were getting closer and closer with each passing moment, soon Appa would be bound again --with Katara and Zuko as his fellow prisoners. 

Katara formed a whip with some of her remaining water and tripped the front line of sandbenders. She did make any move to retreat. 

_ Stubborn.  _ How many times had his uncle called him that? But it was clear to Zuko that Katara had him beat. He sighed in resignation. “Try it again.”

Her mouth opened, but words refused to come out. She shook her head instead.

“We need a way out of here, we can’t keep this up for much longer.”

“Zuko, you don’t understand… It was…  _ That _ was the worst thing I’ve ever done. I was wrong to try it.”

He offered her a cocky smile, anything to try and ease her guilt. “Please, I’m sure I’ve done worse.”

“That does not make me feel any better,” she groaned, tossing a sandbender aside with the water whip. Another replaced him just as quickly. She gave a low growl of frustration and looked to Appa again. 

Zuko followed her gaze. The sky-bison was still complaining loudly, but was oddly attempting to settle himself for sleep again. For a creature that normally seemed to float so effortlessly it appeared gravity’s effect had doubled upon him now with how he dragged his body about.

The sand beneath Zuko’s feet was beginning to ripple again, a sign a sandbender was preparing to try and trap him to the spot. It was a trick he was entirely certain Toph would have abused were she able to bend sand, and one becoming exceedingly frustrating in the hands of their enemy. 

“We’ve got to get off of this sand.” Zuko pulled Katara to his side before the quicksand could swallow them. 

“Where are we supposed to go?” Katara angrily knocked a sandbender aside with a wave of water. “It’s everywhere!”

_ A large surface… A platform big enough they wouldn’t be able to sink it...  _ The answer came to Zuko quickly, but it was not an elegant solution. “Climb onto Appa,” he urged Katara.

“I don’t think…”

“Climb onto him and whatever you do, don’t let him shake you off.” He saw she was ready to protest and spoke again, “At least until we can come up with something better. Hurry it’s only a matter of time before there’s quicksand we can’t free ourselves from.”

Katara reluctantly spun to Appa and jumped onto one of his legs. She crawled quickly up it before he could lift the limb to jerk her off. When she had reached Appa’s back and tangled her hands in his fur for a hold Zuko relaxed somewhat. 

That was a mistake. His back to their enemies, his eyes on the waterbender, he did not notice the sand underneath him trembling until it was too late. This time the sandbender --likely more sober than the previous attackers- managed to sink him in sand up to his shoulders. Zuko wiggled his arms and legs helplessly, but the movements only caused him to go deeper. 

Katara was clinging to Appa tightly as the sky-bison shook his head and wiggled furiously, anything to rid himself of the pesky burden.

Still, Zuko called to the Avatar’s creature desperately, “Appa, go, get out of here!”  _ She can still escape. She can find the others.  _ “Yip yip, Appa!” 

Perhaps because Aang had spoken the phrase to Appa many times before, Zuko’s words seemed to reach the sky-bison more clearly than any others had. He stilled and Katara straightened on his back, panting. 

Zuko silently willed Appa to take flight then, before Katara could spot him confined in the sand, but it was as though she could hear his thoughts, urging the pair to abandon him. Her gaze found his own and she stood immediately and sent what little water she had left at the sandbenders closest to him. When others moved forward, weapons drawn, Zuko saw the conflict within her mind play out upon her face. He saw a cold resolve appear like frost in her eyes as she lifted her arms. 

Before Katara was forced to do what Zuko knew she detested, a shout rang out across the courtyard. All heads turned towards it. “Ah! There you are. Slackers, both of you! I ought to fire you here and now.”

Zuko recognized the man, but recognition did nothing to ease his confusion.  _ The Pai Sho player. What is  _ he  _ doing here? _

The sandbenders were taken aback by the man that strode toward them so boldly, as though he did not see Zuko buried in sand or any of the other clear signs of a skirmish. One, however, stuck his arm out to block the man’s path to Zuko. “These two were trying to steal our sky-bison.”

“Hmph,” the Pai Sho player huffed. “I am not surprised. They are orphans and I cannot afford to pay them much. Nevertheless… These are my employees, I cannot allow you to punish them when that responsibility falls to me.”

The sandbender rolled his eyes at his companions, earning a few gruff chuckles. “And why should we let you do that?”

“Well..” The man tapped a finger to his thumb as though strongly considering. He lifted it away and pointed to the sky a few seconds later, face bright. “I will pay you for your troubles. I happen to distill the finest liquor in the Si Wong desert --will this be adequate compensation?”

The sandbenders turned to one another to discuss. Then their spokesperson replied, “Fine. A drink  _ and  _ some coin might cause us to forget the trouble these foolish kids have caused us.”

“I will collect the drinks and money, then you can free the boy.” The man bowed and shuffled away, leaving all involved more bewildered than ever. 

In the awkward silence that followed the Pai Sho player’s exit, Katara and Zuko exchanged a cautious glance. Out of the corner of his eye he caught her tightening her hold on Appa’s fur determinedly. The stranger’s help was not unappreciated, but she would not be leaving without the sky-bison, no matter the miracle of his appearance. 

When the man returned he held a large bottle of pink liquid and enough cups for all the sandbenders. The drinks were slowly distributed, but no one drank, waiting for their self-appointed leader to decide when it was appropriate. 

The sandbender negotiator nodded once the bottle had been emptied and everyone held a drink. Then he waved a hand in Zuko’s direction. Zuko slowly rose from the sand, the material slipping from his clothing as he stumbled away from the hole that had trapped him. 

“Thank you, thank you, I am in your debt. Now, please, I will give you the money next,” he held a large bag up in their direction, “but try the liquor first. It will relax you after all the frustration these stupid children have caused.”

The sandbenders shrugged. Since it was clear their sky-bison was no longer in danger of being taken from them they appeared mostly satisfied. The leader raised his glass. “To the fortune the Desert Spirits have brought us!”

They cheered and brought the cups of pink liquid to their lips. The Pai Sho player watched with a smile on his face, one that turned increasingly smug as one by one a look of shock passed across the sandbenders’ faces and they in turn dropped to the sand, unconscious. 

“I grow desert flowers,” the man explained casually to Zuko and Katara --who were blinking in astonishment. “Something that fights so hard to grow continues to fight even after it has changed form.”

“I-I don’t know what to say,” Zuko stepped over a fallen sandbender to offer Katara a hand as she climbed from Appa’s back. “Thank you, but… Why help us?”

“I heard all of the commotion from my shop. Most people around here keep to their own business, however, you are the nephew of a member of the Order of the White Lotus. I am honor-bound to help you however I can.”

“Order of the White Lotus...” Zuko thought back to the Pai Sho match from earlier. The comment the man had made on the particular move Uncle had taught him… He had never known the significance of the strategy, Iroh had never mentioned any Order.  _ Even when we are thousands of miles apart and I have not seen him in weeks he is protecting me.  _ It was only in his absence that Zuko had truly begun to appreciate on a profound level all that his uncle had done for him. He could only hope he had the chance one day to thank Iroh in person for all his hidden lessons --and most importantly all he had sacrificed to keep Zuko safe. 

“We wouldn’t have made it out of there without your help. Thank you doesn’t even begin to cover it.” Katara shook her head in wonder. 

“There was another reason I helped you,” the man admitted. “There is only one kind of bender that I know of who would travel with a sky-bison, and I do not believe either of you are Air Nomads…”

Zuko exchanged a look with Katara. “No, we aren’t. We were traveling with his friend.”

“It’s true then? An airbender has survived? After all these years?” Tears shone in the man’s eyes. 

Zuko recognized the look. Such was the power of Aang’s existence that it sparked the feeling without even his physical presence to boost it. It was what Zuko’s family had stolen from so many.  _ Hope.  _ It was what Zuko wanted to restore to the four nations, more than anything. 

Katara was nodding. “An airbender,” she confirmed. “We got separated, but we’re hoping Appa will be able to lead us to him and the rest of our friends again.”

“Well, may the spirits watch over you,” the man told them reverently. “Travel safely. The desert is a treacherous place.” He gave a small smile and a dry chuckle. “My best advice is to --no matter how thirsty you may get- avoid drinking the cactus juice at all costs, or you’ll end up like your sky-bison companion!” 

“Will he be okay?” Katara asked. 

“The effects of the juice should clear his system in a few hours. He already seems better than before.”

Appa’s movements were still clumsy, but what the man said was true, the sky-bison seemed more willing to comply with them now, even nuzzling Katara softly with his nose. Zuko smiled at the relieved laughter the gesture prompted. 

“He won’t fly yet…” Zuko commented.

“No,” Katara agreed. “We should get moving all the same. Something tells me we are no longer welcome here.”

Zuko swept a hand towards all of the narcotized sandbenders. “You sure?”

She rolled her eyes at him and turned back to the Pai Sho player. “Thank you again. Come on, Appa,” she called, and the sky-bison lumbered dazedly behind her. 

Outside the Oasis the Si Wong Desert stretched endlessly, an ocean of sand rising to meet a tapestry of stars that danced playfully beside the moon. It was a stunning view, but Zuko allowed himself a weary sigh. Their group could be anywhere amongst the dunes. “Sense anything?” he asked Katara, half-joking. 

Her eyes were bright with moonlight as she turned to face him. She seemed to drink in the sight of him for a moment. What was it he saw written on her face? The relief following a battle? Something else? Whatever it was, she was smiling, and he could not help, but smile too. “I’m not sure,” she told him. “But we’ve found one of them. We’ll find the rest.”

***

The sand whispered with each step they took --a message that echoed all the way to the Spirit Library where Wan Shi Tong listened intently to the hum of spirit energy drawing closer. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter I feel a bit uncertain how to feel about as a final product, but here I am posting before my anxiety gets the better of me -I really hope it didn't disappoint! Thoughts shared below are appreciated, as always. 
> 
> Getting sappy for a moment: I have to express my appreciation once again for your support. Whether you're commenting, kudos-giving, or just reading, I am so so grateful. Hope to see you in the next chapter! <3


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, lovely readers! Some parts of this chapter I'm feeling confident about, others I could probably fiddle with until the end of the time (part of the joy of being your own editor), but here I am once again posting before my anxiety gets the better of me. Hope you like it!

It wasn’t until nearly a full day following the events at the Oasis that Appa at last gave a sudden cheerful rumble and took to the sky. Katara tilted her head back to watch him circling. It was a sight for sore eyes --eyes burning from the sand blown into them. A hopeful scene that she found she had needed more than she realized. 

At first, though her muscles were weary, Katara had rejoiced as she, Zuko, and Appa set out across the desert, leaving the Oasis behind.  _ We’re going to find them, soon.  _ The faces of her friends had flashed in her mind, relief a sensation so close, so vivid she could almost feel the comfort of her brother’s arms embracing her.  _ Finally.  _ All would be well. She just knew it. 

Then Appa had given a disgruntled growl at something invisible on the horizon. The sound triggered Katara’s memories of their rescue mission…of what she had done. The rush of her own renewed optimism faded abruptly, a wave of shame rose in its place. She had found herself unable to meet Zuko’s eyes since then, even as he came to stand beside her now.

“The cactus juice must have finally passed through his system,” he observed.

“Yeah…” Katara replied quietly. 

The moon was as bright tonight as it had been the night before. Katara’s eyes followed as Appa’s silhouette dragged across it and began lazily drifting back towards them. Normally, she would savour both the beauty of the glowing, white orb and the surge of energy it provided, but she withdrew from that power presently, knowing what it was capable of --and for the first time in her life, fearing it. 

They had spent a miserable day trying to sleep in the middle of the desert, the sun beating down upon their faces in spite of the cloth they used to shield their skin. It was intended to be a respite, since it was too hot to continue their trek, but only now came true rest.  _ The breeze will be so lovely up there,  _ Katara thought.  _ Maybe I’ll be able to bend some water from a cloud…  _ There had been no water remaining in her pouch following the fight. She licked her chapped, peeling lips longingly with a tongue that felt as though it had the same texture as the ground beneath her feet.

Zuko was staring at her. Out of the corner of her eye she could see the gleaming gold of his own, the faint ridges of his scar. He had told her the story of that mark only yesterday...and mere hours later she had caused him to bow --low, against his will- as he had done on that horrible day… It had been an accident. He had said so himself.  _ But still, how can he possibly look at me the same ever again after what I did? _

“Are you cold?” 

She started, surprised from her distracted state, but kept her gaze carefully fixed on Appa who had landed and begun stomping towards them. “That’s a bit of a ridiculous question to ask in a desert.”

“Well, it’s colder at night. And you just shivered.”

“Oh, well I-”

“Here, let me help. Firebenders run warm.” 

He reached for her wrist, slowly, and with such gentleness that Katara found all her protests were lost to an unexpected rush of affection. That he should be so considerate when she had done what she had to him pained her. He took her hands in his own and began rubbing them lightly. 

He stood in front of her, and as they so often did, her eyes found the spot on his chest. The one that called to her. She thought maybe her own heart was trying to call back, because it fell into a rapid rhythm as his hands moved to her bare arms.

He  _ was  _ warming her. His fingers and palms carried a comforting level of heat that warded off the chill of the evening air, but his touch was flaring other sensations as well --sensations as volatile as fire itself. She was holding her breath, goosebumps were rising on her skin, she longed to respond to his movements... 

But she could not forget the words, the knowledge of what could be the cause of it all…s _ piritual energy is attracted to spiritual energy. _

Katara pulled away from Zuko’s touch, though the moment she did she longed to close that same distance again. She resisted and instead walked to Appa throwing a short, “Thank you,” over her shoulder. 

He must have noticed her awkwardness, but one of the things about Zuko that Katara appreciated was his ability to both observe when something was wrong and to sense when --and when it was not- appropriate to question her about it. Somehow he knew that she needed space, and so when they climbed atop Appa and took to the skies, he simply seated himself on the sky-bison’s head and murmured to him, “Can you show us where the others are?”

Whether or not the creature actually understood, Appa lifted from the earth, and Katara gratefully reveled in the crispness of the high-altitude air, the serene whistling of the wind, and the relief for her tired legs. She thought about closing her eyes, trying to get some sleep, but it seemed unlikely that her mind would allow for such peace. Instead, she pulled Hama’s notebook from her tunic, staring at the worn paper warily. 

A deep breath was not enough to prevent her hands from shaking as she opened it and began to skim the pages. She wasn’t sure exactly what she was looking for, she had practically memorized it by now, but,  _ maybe I missed something…  _ There had to be an answer for her mistake at the Oasis. She had to know  _ why,  _ even if she intended never to attempt such a feat again.

Hama may have been bloodbending’s creator, but for all her expertise, none of her text described the pull Katara had experienced. The inclination those strings of power had had to wind themselves into Zuko’s blood… Katara shoved the book furiously back into its place on her person and gave a heavy sigh.  _ Useless.  _

***

_ Idiot,  _ Zuko admonished himself silently.  _ Why would you do something like that? _ Katara hadn’t spoken a word to him for hours. Ever since he’d used his bending to try and warm her up. 

_ Of course she won’t talk to you.  _ It had been too much, too intimate. The gesture had been innocent, entirely, but, of course --seeing as Zuko could not seem to stop thinking of the softness of her skin and seeing as Katara was clearly upset with him- doubt had crept in. He was now utterly convinced of his own,  _ stupidity, carelessness, creepiness?  _ He could not decide on any one adjective, each passing minute seemed to bring another one to mind. 

He stole a quick glance over his shoulder at the waterbender. It was with some relief that he saw she had drifted off to sleep. While his exhaustion had allowed him to nap earlier that day, he was certain Katara had merely been resting her eyes from the glare of the sun, because when he had woken she was sitting up, tracing nonsense in the sand with a twig in her hand and a thoughtful scrunch on her brow. 

Come to think of it, maybe she had been behaving oddly even before the moment he had reached for her hands… Zuko searched his mind for an explanation, yet retracing the day yielded no obvious answers.  _ There has to be something... _

Zuko was still lost in thought when dawn slowly began to tinge the sky around them. His pondering was broken only when Katara came to tap him on the shoulder. 

“Hey, any signs of the others? Of the Spirit Library?” She looked better than before, well-rested and alert, but it was still unmistakable to him that her eyes settled anywhere other than his face. 

“Nothing yet...” He hesitated briefly, before he was unable to contain his question any longer. It burst from him, nervous and urgent, “Is something the matter? You’ve been quiet and you won’t look at me and... What did I do wrong?”

Her eyes shot to his so fast and with such intensity that it jolted him. Now that she was turned in his direction he could at last see the emotions she had been so carefully hiding from him. Her face stretched from pain. He waited for her to say something, as she seemed to be straining to, but when her mouth opened all that came out was a strange, strangled sound. She dropped her head again and her shoulders shook as she began to sob. 

Wordlessly, Zuko moved to sit beside her, his arms wavering above her scrunched form, uncertainly. He didn’t want to do the wrong thing and further upset her…but when she released another broken cry his body moved instinctively to wrap around hers protectively, pulling Katara carefully towards him till her face rested against his chest, her tears soaking the front of his shirt.. From experience he knew he could not shield her from whatever was attacking her from the inside. Still, it felt right, to hold her. 

Her trembling gradually stopped along with her weeping, but Zuko remained still and quiet, allowing for her to untangle herself from her the residual emotions only when she was ready. A loud sniffle and subtle stirring against his embrace was his first signal. He pulled away and Katara slowly lifted her head, though she shifted so her arms tightly grasped her knees. 

She wiped her tears away roughly and glanced sideways at him. “Sorry,” she sighed, shakily.

“Don’t be.” He gave her privacy, staring at the rising sun rather than her tear-streaked cheeks. “Want to talk about it?”

There was the soft whisper of a long inhale before she answered, “It’s the bloodbending.”

“The bloodbending?” he asked, confused.

“You asked me what you did wrong, but it’s what  _ I did to you _ , Zuko, I... Even knowing about the dark things that could be done with bloodbending didn’t prepare me for how awful that would feel --to hurt you.”

“But I told you, it was an accident. You have nothing to apologize for.”

“Do you forgive yourself so easily for your mistakes?”

“No...”  _ but I’m not  _ you.  _ I’m not…  _ He didn’t know how to begin describing to her how unfathomably virtuous she was, how honorable. “Katara, you were only trying to help. You were trying to do  _ good _ . My mistakes were different, I was trying to...”

“Survive.”

“I guess, in a way --but that doesn’t matter. I should’ve known better. I should’ve known the path I was on was wrong.”

“And I should have never ignored the possible consequences of  _ my  _ actions. What if something worse had happened?...  _ I  _ should’ve known better.” Katara stood and walked away, her outline framed by the sun she faced. 

Zuko worried for her as the wind whipped across Appa’s back, but her stance was strong --the only movement of her body came from that of her hair streaming wildly behind her. The fierce beauty of the sight left him breathless for a moment, but he quickly remembered himself and rose to follow her, though much less graceful in his steps. As the air buffeted him he wobbled slightly. 

Katara barely reacted when he stumbled into her, she kept her gaze on the horizon even as he righted himself, swaying in the opposite direction.

For a moment the only voice was that of the wind’s. 

Then Zuko said, quietly, “Your intentions matter. You did not intend to seriously hurt me, or anyone else. That’s the difference. When I was chasing the Avatar and all of you, I paid no mind to where Aang would end up if I caught him. My actions were entirely selfish, but you Katara... You’re different. You’re human, yes, you’re fallible, but...” He shifted to look at her, study the determined set of her jaw, the grim lines of her frown. He looked at her like a drowning man might look at solid earth. And when he spoke, it was with a reverence one might use for spirits, “You are the bravest person I’ve ever met, and the kindest. I feel like, since the day you saved me --your enemy- not a minute has gone by where I haven’t been learning from you. You not only believed I could change, you taught me all the good a person was capable of achieving. You showed me… And I don’t know what these words are worth, coming from me, someone who was such a poor judge of character before, but... I’m asking you to hear me when I say, your past will not define your future. You’re going to learn from this...  _ Or _ , as someone wise once said to me, ‘You can continue moping about what’s been said and done. Choice is yours.’” 

She considered him for a moment, deliberating. Zuko could tell she was trying to decide how to argue the difference between what she had done and his own previous errors, but to argue against her own worthiness of absolution would contradict not only what she had said to him the night of the fire, but also her belief in his redemption. Finally, a corner of her lips pulled in a small smile. She rolled her eyes, “Devious. Using my own words against me...”

Zuko, chuckled, relieved to see her mood improving and some of the burden of guilt clearly lifting. “Well, I’ve heard you say to Sokka more than a few times now that you’re always right.” 

A genuine laugh escaped from her. “It’s true... Though, I’m still not really sure  _ everything  _ you said was accurate. You don’t give yourself enough credit, Zuko. I see how hard you’re trying to help Aang, and...I’ve really been enjoying getting to know the real you.”

_ The real me…  _ Not someone he had become, but someone he had been meant to be all along. An entire identity gone unrealized for years. Another thing his father had taken from him…but Azula had given it back in a way, the day she had struck him with her lightning. It was incredible to think such a wonderful concept could be the consequence of such horror, but Zuko was profoundly grateful for it all the same. How else would he have found himself, standing here, with someone as incredible as Katara looking at him, a soft smile on her face. It was truly beyond anything a maddened Fire Nation prince hunting the Avatar could have ever dreamed of.

Katara’s face had grown serious again and she seemed about to say something when a strong breeze suddenly struck them, sending her crashing into him. 

The force of her impact knocked Zuko off his feet and onto his back. Katara landed on top of him, her hair covering his eyes and tickling his nose and cheeks. She smelled impossibly good for someone who had marched through a swamp and across the desert…

She pushed herself up and froze, hovering over him. There was some semblance of embarrassment in her eyes, but he barely noticed it, transfixed as he was by the warmth visibly rising in her cheeks. “Sorry,” she mumbled, after a moment, and made to move to her feet.

She was quickly shoved by the next howl of wind, back onto Zuko’s chest. It wasn’t until Appa titled sharply to the left and they both rolled, tumbling in a tangle to one side of the saddle, that they began to realize what was happening.

“It’s like the storm that took us to the swamp!” Zuko shouted above the screaming air. 

“Then we have to land! We must be close!” Katara patted Appa’s side to try and indicate to him that they should descend, but in the chaos of the dark clouds that had surrounded them Zuko was unsure how they were going to find the ground unless…

“We have to jump. We have to let the Spirit Library pull us the rest of the way.”   


“Are you crazy?! Neither of us can bend sand. We got lucky in the swamp. If we fall from up here there’s no way we survive!” She seized his arm as though to be sure he would not suddenly leave her. 

As though he would ever even consider it. He almost laughed at the idea. 

The force of the storm picked up. Zuko felt the vibrations of Appa’s growls, but could not hear them over the whistling in his own ears. “We have to do this! Appa won’t be able to hang on much longer up here!” he insisted

Katara’s face was very close to his own. He could see her eyes darting back and forth uncertainly, and then he could see the moment she decided to trust --and to try. “Together?”

“Of course.” 

“Okay…” Katara drew a deep breath. “Three…”

“Two…”

“One…” 

He watched her squeeze her eyes shut. She held onto his hand with a vice-like grip as he kicked them off of Appa’s back and into the air once again.

***

They did not have as far to fall this time. The instant they left Appa’s back the storm faded, the sky cleared, and the sand was immediately visible below them, drawing closer, and closer. 

Had Aang been there he would’ve bent them gently to the ground, instead it was his sky-bison who broke their fall, gliding underneath them at the last possible moment so that they landed on his back. Sand sprayed everywhere as Appa executed a necessarily, ungraceful landing. 

Katara laughed in wonder as she spat the particles of earth from her mouth, but it was not until she spotted the spire rising from out of the sand that her heart truly leapt. She tugged at Zuko’s arm excitedly. “Zuko, this has to be it! You were right. The storm was bringing us here. We found it --the Spirit Library!”

Appa gave an eager rumble and rushed towards the structure, nearly throwing them from the saddle. He bumped the tower determinedly, as though to knock and get someone to come out. 

“Is this where you left, Aang?” Katara asked the sky-bison, jumping to the ground so she could pat his nose soothingly. Her wandering gaze found the opening at the top of the spire. A rope dangled from it, but it was decidedly too small for Appa to fit through. 

“They must have left Appa outside,” Zuko commented, following her eyes. 

“We’ll have to as well…” She turned sadly to their fluffy companion. “Sorry, boy. I promise we won’t be long. We have to go get the others.”

Appa responded with a snort of complaint, but he seemed to somehow be aware of the patience they were asking of him. He collapsed, with a rather dramatic thud, onto the ground. 

Katara reached for the rope, “I’ll go first.” 

Zuko eyed the spire somewhat warily before giving a short nod of agreement. 

Being so close to what she hoped would be the location of their friends, Katara found the climb tedious. If she could have teleported to the inside of the Library she would have, nevermind the unknown she would face once she had... When at last she could release her hold on the rope Katara heaved a grateful sigh, looking anxiously around as Zuko dropped to the stone floor beside her, disappointed when her friends did not immediately appear to greet her --though she knew that was a faint hope anyways. Nothing was ever so easy in their world. 

They stood in the center of a bridge in a vast space --a space overwhelming in its enormity. To her left were bookshelves, to her right were more shelves, and below her were bridges leading to, somehow, yet more shelves. It was extremely daunting, a maze through which your own curiosity could guide you in a million different directions until you forgot the world altogether… 

In the swamp every little sound had made Katara’s skin crawl. The Spirit Library’s silence had a similar effect. It felt as though they stood in a vacuum, a place outside of space and time. As though they were the only two living beings left. Every movement, every breath, was an earthquake of vibrations, disturbing what, Katara was unsure, but she was certain she didn’t want to find out.

She spoke in a hushed tone, “Where should we start?” 

She followed Zuko’s gaze as it wandered across the intricate carvings on the walls and the proud arches seemingly endless, leading to areas shrouded in shadow. “In the swamp visions came to us. Maybe the same will happen here…but let’s not get separated this time, okay?”

“You don’t have to tell me twice,” Katara replied, wincing as she stepped closer to him, her footfalls echoing eerily in the deadening quiet. 

They chose a direction at random, just as they had done in the swamp, but Katara remained alert for any signs of  _ spiritual  _ guidance. For all the reverence Huu had conveyed when speaking of their spirit connection, she was disappointed it seemed yet to manifest itself in a practical, controllable manner. 

As they wandered down yet another channel of books, barely lit by the phosphorescent lamps lining the walls, Zuko stopped suddenly in front of her. 

Katara immediately reached for the water at her side. “What is it?” she murmured. “Zuko?” When he did not reply within a second she quickly stepped around him, hands uplifted and ready to bend. 

The defensive measures were not necessary. All that stood in front of the firebender was a glass box with artifacts inside of it, cloth bags. Katara spared them only a brief look before relaxing. “You scared me,” she scolded Zuko, giving his shoulder a light shove. “I thought you had seen something.” 

He still stared at the glass box, frowning. 

“We should keep moving…” Katara stared into the dim that lay ahead, longing to see Aang’s bright robes flash from within, or to hear her brother’s goofy laugh suddenly reverberate off the smooth walls. 

“I think… I think this is my bag.”

She broke from her daydream to glance back at him. “Zuko, that bag is the same as any other bag a traveler might carry. This place looks like it could contain all the knowledge in the world --it probably does. There’s likely a box somewhere with shoes identical to mine too.” 

But Zuko ignored her, placed his hands on either side of the glass box, and lifted. The container came away with a strange sigh. 

“What are you doing?!” Every nerve in her body screamed that to unsettle anything in the Library was a mistake, though she could not say why. After all, it was only a box with some bag tucked inside of it, why should it matter? Especially when they seemed...alone? 

“It  _ is  _ my bag, Katara, look!” From within the bag Zuko lifted the familiar expression of his Blue Spirit mask. 

Katara slowly walked towards the remaining bags and picked one up. She groped inside till her hand found something to grasp. She closed her eyes as her fingers traced the curve of one object, knowing what she held before she even pulled it into the light.  _ Sokka’s boomerang.  _

Zuko’s face grew solemn when he saw what she cradled so carefully in her hands. “It’s a good thing, Katara. That means they’re here.”

“That means they  _ could  _ be here,” she corrected, not allowing her voice to shake with the worry squeezing her chest. She tucked Sokka’s boomerang firmly in place beside her water pouch.  _ It always comes back to you, right, Sokka? Well, I’m on my way. Hang in there... Wherever you are. _

It began to feel as though they were following a trail of crumbs. The next display case they came to held the dual Dao blades --much to Zuko’s joy. After that was Katara’s bag, holding a spare tunic which she held excitedly to her nose --she could not wait to change out of the torn, sweat-stained and mud-covered clothing she wore. The same container also held one of Toph’s hair pins and the one after that held Jet’s hook swords. 

“Almost all accounted for,” Zuko said, awkwardly tying the hook swords in place beside the Dao blades. 

Katara nodded, unwilling to say aloud the thought that immediately crossed her mind.  _ All except the Avatar… _

“You know Aang rarely ever lets his glider out of his sight.”

There he went again, reading her mind. Katara gave Zuko a small smile. He was right, and she clung to this knowledge for comfort instead of allowing ideas of separation and Fire Nation capture to wander in. 

“It can’t be a mistake that we’ve found these,” she observed, pointing to the weapons on Zuko’s back and gesturing to the boomerang at her side. “Enormous isn’t even the right word to describe this place it’s…”

“Infinite?” Zuko offered.

“I mean, it’s the  _ Spirit  _ Library so, yeah, maybe,” she laughed. “My point is, of all the things we could have found, we found  _ these. _ I think it’s something to do with our connection to the spirits.”

“We’re being guided through the Library whether or not we know it…”

“So you agree?”

Zuko shook his head in wonder. “That, or we’re just really lucky. Or rather,  _ you’re  _ just really lucky.” He gave a dark laugh. “It can’t be my luck, because my father always said Azula was born lucky --and that I was lucky to be born. So far, he seems to have been right.”

“That’s a horrible thing to say.”

“I think we’ve established he’s not exactly a nice guy.”

“Well, screw him. Maybe your luck is turning.”

He stared at her for a moment with an odd look on his face. One she had seen before. It was a look that always seemed to set Katara’s stomach --or perhaps the spirit essence inside of her- a flutter, and now was no exception. “Yeah,” he said at last. “Maybe it is.”

She turned and kept walking, hoping to get rid of the heat that had risen in her cheeks. 

They came to the end of the aisle, but there was not another glass box to rifle through. Katara’s heart sank, a part of her had been hoping to find something of Aang’s next. 

“Katara, come look at this.” Zuko had strayed to one of the bookshelves and was holding a thick text, angling it towards the faint light. 

_ He’s really embraced letting the whims of the spirits dictate his movements,  _ Katara thought to herself, a bit jealousy. He had been the one to discover their friends’ items and she had been eager to press on. Again, she pondered the usefulness of whatever supposed connection she had with the spirits when it was Zuko, and not her, who seemed to be finding all the clues. 

“What is it? The answers to all our questions?” Katara asked teasingly as she knelt beside him. 

“Uh, no. If only... It’s some sort of history book.”

She bit back the comment she wanted to give about wasting time. Clearly she needed to relinquish her desire for control. It had yet to do anything for them whereas Zuko’s inclinations had aided their search. “What’s it about?”

“I’ve never heard of the places it’s describing, but it tells the story of a kingdom.” He was clearly transfixed by the words he was reading. 

Katara patiently waited for him to explain his interest further.

“The kingdom had a line of great rulers that extended for many generations, until one year a cruel king pushed the people of the land to desperate action. There was an uprising. The king was killed, and his kingdom dissolved into chaos.” Zuko began to read aloud from the pages in front of him, “With no clear leadership to see to the needs of the land everyone suffered. Then, the king’s son came of age. He saw his home falling to ruins and the suffering of the people. This hurt his heart, and so he fought his way back onto the throne. His first act as king was an unexpected one. He asked a survey be sent to his people, every single one of them. He wanted them to tell him who was the wisest amongst them. The people all selected members from their villages and the king took their suggestions and summoned the wise people to the palace. He called to him those with the greatest financial knowledge, those with the knowledge of the land, those with knowledge of trade and craft, and many more. All the experts one could think of came to him and once they had all arrived... he locked them inside the palace with him.”

“The people grew worried. Who would handle the tax collection? Who would help with the crops? Who would repair their broken wares or construct new ones? Who would settle neighborly disputes? Much time passed, still with no sign of the king releasing the wise people to return to their duties in the kingdom. Then, at last, an announcement came from the palace. The young king would be giving a speech and everyone in the land should hear it. For those who could not attend in person, he would send messengers. The day of the speech came and a massive crowd gathered outside the palace… It was to the great shock of everyone present that their wisest people stood alongside the king --and to their great relief that no harm had appeared to befallen them. The king began to speak…”

“He spoke of the mistakes of his father and apologized for them. The young king vowed those who may have been wronged by the crown in the past would be heard, and that the crown would be held responsible. It was clear this would not make up for all of the sins of the past, but it was a start, and his people were touched. Then, the young king began to speak of changes. Changes his council had planned very carefully, to happen at a rate that would allow for the kingdom to adapt gradually, and hopefully without conflict. He made promises for the future of the land and its people, and when he was done speaking, he took the crown from his head, set it upon the ground, and shattered it, giving some of the pieces to his council of wise people and throwing the rest to the crowd gathered.” 

“From then on the people chose who would lead them and care for them, and if they made a mistake and someone came about who did not serve their needs, the power lay with them to vote and instruct the other leaders to remove that person from their position and the process of choosing would begin again... The king oversaw the transformation of his home, and when at last it found peace, so too, did he,” Zuko finished. His eyes continued to scan the page further, as though to commit the words to memory. Then he turned to her, “Do you think… Do you think something like this could ever work in the Fire Nation?”

Katara wasn’t sure she had ever heard Zuko speak in the exact tone he did in that moment, desperate and hopeful, and with something burning in his eyes, something like a fierce determination. “Zuko, I don’t think the Fire Lord would never give up his throne…”

He snorted. “Of course not, and neither would Azula, but…” He looked down to the story of the young king again, then said quietly, “I would. I would give it all up.”

It wasn’t a thought that had ever crossed Katara’s mind in all the time they had been running across the globe with Aang. She had thought of defeating the Fire Lord, of course she had, but what came next… That, she had not considered for even a moment. Yet here sat the boy next in line for the throne beside her, asking  _ her,  _ for her opinion, for her guidance. “Then we should make you Fire Lord,” she said, simply, though it might be a near impossible task. 

Zuko shut the book and lifted a hand to his scar, his eyes distant with thoughts he did not voice for her to know.

Katara reached to take the book from him and replace it upon the shelf. “Where did you g-” Her question broke off abruptly as she spotted something walking towards her, a creature with brown fur and large, attentive ears. The fox reached her feet and sat, staring expectantly at her. 

When she remained frozen the fox gave a small whine and pawed the ground. Katara moved automatically to place the book in front of the fox, who swiftly took the text in its mouth and strode with great purpose to a spot further down on the shelf where it slid the book smoothly back into place. Satisfied with the completion of that task, the fox returned to Katara and tilted its head in question. 

Zuko had noticed the odd interaction. “Uh, Katara?”

“I think… I think we should ask it for help.” She couldn’t say why she thought this, but it came to her with a clarity so sharp it demanded to be answered. 

“It’s a fox…”

“I know it’s a fox,” she retorted. “I still think it can show us where the others are. I think it might be one of the Knowledge Seekers that Huu mentioned…” She crouched before the animal. “We’re looking for our friends. A Water Tribe boy, an earthbender girl, a tall, non-bending boy, and an airbender. Have you seen them?”

The fox considered her for a moment then spun away and began trotting down the corridor at the end of the aisle. It looked back once, to ensure they were following, before continuing, tail swishing behind. 

They wound through hallways after hallway, passing more shelves of books, display cases, and even some artwork. The further they journeyed the more dizzying the notion of finding their way back out became, but just as Katara was beginning to reflect on a solution to that particular problem the fox stopped, and so did her racing mind. 

They stood before a massive door, ingrained with blue, glowing letters from an alphabet Katara did not recognize, but somehow understood. 

“The librarian,” she and Zuko read simultaneously, “he who knows ten thousand things.”

The fox bobbed its head as though to confirm what they had said. 

“Our friends are here?” Katara asked, exchanging a wary look with Zuko.

The fox turned towards the door, stuck its tail straight out behind it, and lifted a paw to point. 

“Shall we knock?” Zuko hovered his fist above the fine wood. 

Katara couldn’t explain it, but a shiver was running down her spine. The smell of old paper and dust seemed suddenly overwhelming, the darkness more present. Still, she took a deep breath and nodded.  _ The sooner we find the others and get out of here, the better... _

Zuko tapped the wood with his knuckles. Instantly the massive door swung inward on its hinges to welcome them. 

A gravelly voice called from the shadows of the room, “Come in, fellow spirits. I have been expecting you.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Throwing some of my thoughts out there for digestion: I truly struggled to introduce the idea of a democracy in the Fire Nation's future in this chapter. It was always my intention to have Zuko come across this story in the Spirit Library, but I know the functions of my own country to be deeply flawed as it has failed, and continues to fail, so many. I definitely don't pretend to have the answers, nor am I qualified to give any. So, I tried to provide a framework of ideas for Zuko to read and consider, but it is by no means perfect and by no means a line for line how I expect the Fire Nation would or should handle things. That being said, it was very intentional that Zuko turns to Katara for her input, because hers is one of many voices whose thoughts and opinions would need to be heard in the construction of a new political system in the ATLA universe. Maybe this was just my way of projecting my own hope that things can change and be rebuilt, in our world... If it was a clumsy attempt, I apologize.
> 
> Anyways: Thank you so much as always for reading, for giving kudos, for posting comments, really, to anyone who has stumbled upon this story and are continuing to stick with me: words are forever failing me, I'm going to keep thanking you every update until this fic is done! I look forward to hearing your thoughts below if you choose to share them :)  
> (I initially wanted this chapter to be the end of the desert, but there was too much that needed to be said/done. As of right now I think we'll be in Ba Sing Se update after next and I could not be more excited to share that with you. I have a lot planned, that's all I'll say...)
> 
> Also, it's been awhile since I've mentioned this so I'll go ahead and say again that I am on tumblr at zukos-calming-tea and always looking to befriend fellow creators and/or ATLA fans -come say hi! <3


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Welcome back to the Spirit Library...

The librarian of the Spirit Library was perched behind his enormous desk in his enormous study. When his cold, black eyes passed over them, Katara felt as though the spirit were seeing straight through her. It was this sensation that led her to firmly believe that something horrible was about to happen. 

She mimicked Zuko in a short display of humility, a bow, to the massive form before them. 

Each of the owl spirit’s talons were longer than Zuko was tall, the feathers on his body a shade of night, the feathers on his face as white as the moon. The sound that emanated from the spirit was so deep, Katara  _ felt  _ it as well as heard it, a rumble in her bones. “What is this trickery?” the spirit demanded. “You are not as your presence suggested when I first detected it.  _ You _ are  _ not  _ spirits.” It was clear they had severely disappointed him.

“We are not,” Zuko replied. 

“And yet, you are here.” The spirit’s sharp beak clicked in disapproval. “How is it that after centuries not one, but several humans have now stumbled upon my sanctuary of knowledge?” 

It was clearly a rhetorical question, but Katara leapt upon the mention of other humans all the same. “So, we aren’t the first humans to come here recently?”

The owl spirit gave a dangerous hum. “No, but you are the first to be welcomed, since as I said, I thought you spirits. Clearly, I was deceived.”

“We were told we have spirit essence inside of us, that it would pull us to places like this where the connection between our world and the spirit world is stronger,” Katara explained.

This seemed to capture the spirit’s interest. He glided from his perch towards them, a massive rush of air nearly knocking them from their feet as he landed. His head swiveled strangely as he bent to examine them. 

Katara found herself holding her breath. 

“I am Wan-Shi-Tong, he who knows ten-thousand things,” the spirit said at last.

“I’m Zuko.”

“A firebender,” the spirit stated, plainly.

“And I’m Katara.”

“A waterbender… I sense you come seeking knowledge, but I do not usually permit humans to peruse my collection --it seems you only bother learning things to get the edge on other humans.”

“We just want to find our friends, please,” Katara pleaded, “it sounds as though you have seen them. Are they still here?” 

Wan Shi Tong cocked his head skeptically. “Then you do not wish to know more of the mystery of your connection to the spirits --and each other?” 

Katara struggled to find an answer. Of course, she wanted to know what was going on with the spirits and with the bond between her and Zuko, but… “We come seeking only our friends. Since we found out that spiritual energy is attracted to spiritual energy we thought maybe… Was the Avatar drawn to this place? Is he here?”

“You ask a lot of questions,” Wan Shi Tong pointed out blankly. 

“We’ve come a long way,” Zuko responded. 

“Very well,” the owl spirit grumbled. “I will admit that the Spirit Library has had other visitors, visitors who are being  _ permanently _ held for attempting to abuse the knowledge I have gathered here. I will also admit that you have piqued my curiosity. If you would allow me to study you, and perhaps offer me an artifact or two to replace the ones you have taken --of course I noticed you pilfering my exhibits- I might be convinced to return your friends’ freedom.”

Katara regarded Wan Shi Tong distrustingly “How will you study us?”

The claw of the spirit flashed quickly to the desk behind him and returned with a large magnifying glass. “Using this.”

“What does it do?”

Wan Shi Tong chuckled in amusement at Zuko’s question. “Clever, to ask such a thing, as it is not what it seems. This glass is special. It will show me what transpires  _ within _ your body. The movement of chi. The presence of spirit energy. Patterns. Behaviors… Of course, I may have some additional inquiries that come up as I examine you.”

“ _ Of course _ ,” Katara muttered to herself, but the owl’s hearing was sharp. The spirit’s head rotated to settle a steely, disapproving glare upon her. She tried not to let her fear show on her face, though her heart pounded. She cleared her throat. “And after this, you will let our friends go?”

“It is a fair trade.” 

“Fine.”

“First, I will take the new artifacts. Have you an offering for me?”

Katara caught Zuko’s hesitation, but he reached within his shirt and pulled out the lightning-bending scroll. She knew he had already committed the movements to memory, and that much of the text had been washed away anyways, but it was also an item of great significance to him. She had seen how he studied it, probably thinking of his sister as he did so. As he held it out to Wan Shi Tong she tried to catch a glimpse of Zukos’ expression, but his face remained a careful mask. 

“Oh, these illustrations are quite stylish,” the spirit commented. He whisked a wing over the scroll and the offering disappeared. 

Seeing what Zuko had given the spirit, Katara knew what she must present, but the item was of such value it hurt her to do so. As her fingers closed around Hama’s notebook, she fought the urge to cry. She ducked her head so Wan Shi Tong would not see the pain in her eyes and extended the book towards him. There was a cold sensation, like night air as the wing passed over her hands, and then the text was gone. 

“First edition, very nice,” he said, pleased. 

Katara was beginning to question if they were being cheated. Perhaps they could’ve broken the others free without the effort of having to sacrifice anything, much less something as precious as Hama’s work… When Wan Shi Tong lifted his magnifying glass and stepped closer the sheer size of the spirit and the sharpness of his beak and claws banished the thought. They would never have been able to fight such a creature, not even with Aang free and fighting beside them. He was beyond their understanding, not of their world. Dangerous, only just began to describe the threat he might pose if they crossed him. 

“Please, stand closer together,” the spirit instructed.

Katara inched towards Zuko until her arm was pressed against his. 

“Very good,” Wan Shi Tong said. His shrewd gaze was enlargened by the massive glass he pressed to his eye and Katara shivered in spite of herself. The black orb seemed as though it might swallow her whole, as it flicked up and down, observing, devouring. 

Zuko must have felt her shake, because his hand shifted against the back of her own. Impulsively she reached for his palm, heart hammering as he accepted, winding their fingers together. He glanced at her and she felt a comforting warmth wash over her. 

“Interesting,” the spirit muttered. 

“What is?” Katara asked.

“A great many things. Tell me, have you really managed to bend _blood_?”

Zuko squeezed her hand, a signal of encouragement, a reminder that he had already forgiven her for her mistake. “Yes, I have.”

“The firebender’s blood, correct? There was a sort of pull?”

“Uh, I --yes. His blood, and there was --there was a pull. How did you know? What does this have to do with the spirits?”

“It was recent enough that the glass detects it. There are signs of your chi’s touch in his chest,” Wan Shi Tong replied, nonchalantly. “And you have also bent spirit water?”

“Yes… From the Spirit Oasis in the North Pole.”

“I see… You used this to heal him --the one standing beside you?”

“I did.”

“Ah, this explains it all then.”

Katara was sick of the riddles, eager to be done with this examination, but still, her mouth refused to open, as though to protect her.  _ From what? _

It was Zuko who asked instead, “Can you explain it to  _ us _ ?”

“Spirit water was not meant for human consumption or use, but you both were exposed to --and interacting closely with- the substance for an extended amount of time, and because of this there is spirit essence that has attached itself --and remains inside of- each of you. It’s why when I sensed your approach I falsely identified you as spirits. I can confirm it is the source of your draw to places such as my library. It is also the reason you, waterbender, bent his blood so readily. There is water within the blood, and I saw remnants of spirit water in particular, residing in his chest. Your bending gravitated to that which it had manipulated before --during your healing of him.” Wan Shi Tong pointed a wing at Zuko. 

“I guess that...makes sense,” Katara breathed shakily.  _ I really didn’t mean to hurt Zuko. I couldn’t have anticipated the reaction my bending would have to the spirit water, but I might be able to avoid it in the future if I absolutely had to try again...  _ Relief came in like the tide, and left just as quickly when Wan Shi Tong’s eyes continued to hold them in an unblinking stare. Dread began to pulse alongside every beat of her heart. 

“There is more… As you said, spirit energy is drawn to spirit energy, and the spirit energy you have touched is that which has been shed by the spirits of the Spirit Oasis in the North Pole, keepers of balance; Tui and La. Their essences are  _ especially _ attracted to one another, and when you, waterbender, bent the spirit water to heal the firebender’s chest you unknowingly established a connection with the firebender that mimics that of the connection shared by the spirits who granted that water its special properties.”

Katara’s eyes shot to Zuko’s. There was the usual rush of energy, of heat, but now, alongside it, was a pain she could not quite understand. A deep ache wrenching her chest, threatening to overwhelm her.

Distantly, she noticed Wan Shi Tong nodding, “I can see the bond now… A thread of spirit energy tying the two of you together.”

A sick feeling settled in the pit of Katara’s stomach, a tightness clawed at her throat. She had thought something horrible might happen in this strange room with this creepy spirit. She had been prepared for danger, devastation,  _ something _ , but… Why was this news so disturbing when Wan Shi Tong was only confirming something Huu had already hinted was a possibility.  _ Why do I feel like this? Why does this matter? This shouldn’t matter!  _

Her mind replayed little moments, big moments, every moment, of every day, since she had brought Zuko back from the brink of death… And suddenly everything she had ever felt in the time she had known him -- _ really  _ known him- seemed like a question. An agonizing uncertainty. 

Katara dropped Zuko’s hand and looked away. 

_ Was any of it real? Or all along, was it just the spirits… _

***

_ The spirits, just the spirits…  _ That was it then. The reason for his admiration of Katara. The reason for his heart skipping beats at the sight of her, the reason for this desire he had, to pull her closer, to… 

It was probably for the best that there was now this explanation for his affection. Always in the back of Zuko’s mind he had known that his feelings threatened to destroy all the progress he had made in redeeming himself, in proving himself a worthy ally to the Avatar. Besides, who was he kidding to think Katara might return the affection he held for her? There were far better partners for her. Partners that weren’t the banished prince of a nation that had stolen so much from her... 

_ It would’ve been… It could’ve been…  _ No, Zuko did not allow himself to even consider it, because it hurt too much to imagine all the possibilities, good or bad, that might have come from telling Katara of his care for her. His feelings about her…

Not feelings, after all.  _ Just...the spirits.  _ Why then, was there so much pain if his emotions had not been authentic, but the result of the spirit essence inside of him? 

His hand was cold, lacking the warmth of hers nestled against it. His mind kept replaying the moment she had looked at him, eyes wide with shock, before a shadow passed across her face --the truth registering. When she had turned away, that was when his own body had begun to react, when he had felt his insides begin to shatter.

Wan Shi Tong seemed pleased by the effect his words had had upon them. “A most interesting case. I should thank you, but a deal is a deal, instead I will merely uphold my end of the bargain. Come, let us collect your friends.” The librarian strode past them in the direction of the door. 

Zuko turned to say something to Katara, but he knew none of what he wanted to say would make anything about what they had just learned better. The wound was still too fresh and this time, it was not one she could help heal. 

They lingered for a moment, amongst the dust floating in the air, amongst a cloud of doubt and confusion, but no amount of time would erase what Wan Shi Tong had revealed. 

“Let’s go.” She kept her gaze fixed upon the ground as she said it.

“Katara…” He moved to reach for her, because her face seemed made of stone and he could not bear the emptiness of it, but then paused halfway, wondering if the desire was one born out of care for his friend or one that came from the spirit essence inside of him, pulling him towards the spirit essence inside of her. 

There was a beat where she remained a statue, perfectly still, and then her careful composure slowly began to fall apart, cracking, starting with a brief tremor in her shoulders. She moved to follow the Librarian, to leave him standing there, alone, but faltered. Her hands balled into fists so tight that her knuckles paled. He heard her breath rattle as she inhaled. 

_ Screw the spirits.  _ He took a tentative step forward, to try again. “Katara, it doesn’t mean-”

“Are you coming?” Wan Shi Tong bellowed from beyond the room, his voice reverberating off the stone around them.

And then she was gone, chasing after the owl spirit, running away from whatever attempt Zuko might have made to try and mend their broken pieces. 

_ Katara, it doesn’t mean that I don’t care about you…  _ He had thought they might fit together. Even if just as friends. 

He had thought there was something incredible between them.

Now it was impossible to tell what, if anything, was them, and what was Tui and La.

***

It would not have been a total shock to Katara to discover that Wan Shi Tong was somehow in control of every wall in the Spirit Library. For as long as she and Zuko had wandered amidst the librarian’s collection before, it seemed they were back at the entrance of the place in an instant now, turning only a few corners before emerging onto the bridge above which the rope still dangled, waiting for them to return.

They passed over the bridge and continued forward until they reached a staircase that Katara was certain had not been there when they arrived. The stairs led them to the lower floors of the Library, floors so deep that Katara found herself squirting through the gloom and guiding herself along the wall until Zuko lifted a hand of fire to illuminate the way. The air grew cooler and carried with it the musty scent of the underground. It reminded Katara of the tunnels...of the tomb of Oma and Shu, of Zuko’s breath on her face, of leaning in and... 

She dismissed the memory quickly, allowing the motion of walking to consume all thought, to numb her. There was no use dwelling on the past, it did not need to be dissected, Wan Shi Tong had provided them an explanation for… _ Everything. All of it... It was all because of the bits of Tui and La that fused with us. … … ... ?  _ Katara hated how even when she tried to convince herself of it in her own mind it became a question, every time. She wanted to embrace the certainty of it all, she craved the comfort of pure conviction, and yet, she found herself resistant to the finality of it.  _ So foolish…  _

When they reached the bottom of the stairs Wan Shi Tong steered them to the left, into a large, open cavern. The space was remarkably empty compared to the rest of the Spirit Library, containing nothing other than a big box. A box that was nearly as tall as Wan Shi Tong himself and nearly as wide as Appa was long. 

Katara’s eyes widened when she realized the box’s purpose. The box was opaque, but no different from the ones they had found displaying their belongings. And Wan Shi Tong had placed her friends inside such a thing, like they were no different from any of the artifacts he collected. Katara bit back her anger, drew a deep breath, and through her teeth, in as cool a tone as she could muster, asked, though she already knew the answer, “This is where you’re keeping them?”

“There are only so many ways to imprison the Avatar.” It was difficult to tell since his body blended in with the surrounding dim, but Katara thought she saw Wan Shi Tong shrug.

Katara’s fury nearly erupted then and there at the spirit’s nonchalance, but Zuko’s muttering distracted her, “Clearly I need to work with Aang more on his firebending.” He was giving the wooden cell --tinder to him- an unimpressed stare.

A part of her wanted to smile at his comment, but she couldn’t be sure  _ which  _ part so instead she marched towards the box and tapped its side, glaring at Wan Shi Tong as she did. “Free our friends. Now. It’s time we were leaving.”

The librarian sighed, “Grouchy and impatient. I was under the impression you were prepared for the answers my studies might reveal, and yet it seems you are unhappy with the knowledge I have so graciously provided. ” Despite his annoyed tone he waved a wing over the side of the box. 

There was a clunking sound as a piece of the wood slid back, an opening summoned at the spirit’s touch. A voice shouted from inside, “What do you want now, bird-brain?”

Katara’s heart leapt. “Sokka!” 

“KATARA!” This time it was several voices that rang out in unison, and there was a clamoring as they all rushed to exit the box. 

Her brother emerged first and sprinted towards her, throwing his arms around her and squeezing tightly. She felt a tear slide down the bridge of her nose as she inhaled his smell. As far as they both had traveled, somehow, he still always carried the scent of home. 

“I’m so glad you’re okay,” she heard him breathe, his words muffled as he kissed the top of her head. It was a gesture so familiar it hurt --he had been doing it ever since the day he had realized he was tall enough to. 

“I missed you.”  _ More than I realized,  _ she thought as he pulled away and suddenly a dozen different questions she wanted to ask him slipped into her mind. Not that she would ask any of them. Though her brother had had a brief relationship with someone touched by spirits she didn’t know how to tell him she was supernaturally tied to the (banished) Prince of the Fire Nation --much less ask for advice on the situation. 

She caught Aang watching her and Sokka, patiently waiting for his own chance to say hello and she felt suddenly very, very tired.  _ How can I possibly tell him about this?  _ Katara wondered as he stepped forward and pulled her into a hug. 

“I was so worried about you,” the airbender murmured to her in a strained tone. For a moment she thought he might be about to cry. When she felt a dampness on her shoulder where his cheek touched her clothing she realized he was. 

“Oh, Aang, it’s okay. We’re all together again. It’s all going to be okay.”

He pulled back. “It’s not just that…When we got captured I begged the spirit to at least care for Appa. I swore he was extremely precious, the last of his kind, and the spirit agreed to do as I asked, but…” Aang’s face crumpled, his shoulders sagged. “The spirit returned and accused me of lying. He said there was no sky-bison outside. Katara, I don’t know where-”

“He’s with us!” she said quickly, eager to reassure her friend. She knew how devastated he must have been, imagining all the horrible things that might have happened to cause Appa disappear. “Zuko and I rescued him from some sandbenders. It’s like I said, Aang. We’re  _ all  _ together again.” Even as she said it she found herself looking around the room to reassure herself of the truth of her own words.

Without even trying --and much to her annoyance- her eyes found Zuko. He had a small smile on his face as he looked down at an enthusiastic Toph who had attached herself to his side and was laughing as she felt Momo crawling from her shoulder to the firebender’s head. The lemur began to play with Zuko’s hair, it was now long enough, just barely, for the creature to grab small handfuls of it. 

When Zuko caught her staring Katara looked away quickly, but not quickly enough to avoid the sudden, insane wonder of what it would be like to be like Momo, enjoying the delight of running one’s hands through Zuko’s hair...  _ Spirits,  _ she cursed, and nearly snorted at the cruel irony, because she knew --Wan Shi Tong had told them- that that  _ spirits  _ were exactly where this strange inclination had actually come from.

Katara eagerly allowed her attention to drift to the flashing of metal --Jet returning his hook swords to his back- and remembered that there was still one last reunion that had yet to occur. “I have something for you,” she told Sokka.

“You do?” 

She reached to her side, untied the item sitting beside her water pouch, and held it out to her brother. 

“Boomerang!!!” Sokka exclaimed, and Katara tried not to take it too personally that his exuberance was nearly equal to that which he had shown upon seeing her again. 

***

For all that it had taken to get Wan Shi Tong to release their friends, Zuko noted the spirit seemed quite eager to be rid of them. His pace was swift as he guided them back to the top of the Spirit Library, feathers stirring in irritation when Sokka began to loudly explain how their group had arrived at the Library.

According to Sokka the storm that had knocked Zuko and Katara from Appa’s back had cleared nearly the instant the pair had disappeared from sight. An impossible fog had replaced the winds and by the time the group could see anything at all again, it had been sand all around them. Not long after that another cyclone had pulled them to the Spirit Library.

“It’s Sokka’s fault we got stuck in that box. If he had only followed the rules,” Toph groaned.

He hushed her, shooting the librarian a wary look, “I didn’t break any rules.”

Zuko was walking behind Aang and Katara, he had a clear view and was within hearing range when the airbender leaned over to whisper in her ear, “He kind of did… I’ll tell you about that later.”

The Avatar had not left Katara’s side since his release from the owl spirit’s cage.  _ Not that you should care about that all,  _ Zuko reminded himself, turning away as Katara giggled in response to another comment from Aang. At least she was smiling again. It had devastated him to see her so stiff and cold following their lesson with Wan Shi Tong on spirit connections. 

_ I might never have the honor of making her smile ever again,  _ Zuko realized. But at least if he couldn’t someone would.  _ If that someone is the Avatar so be it. It would make him very happy...and they both deserve happiness.  _ The thought nearly made him stop dead in his tracks at the absurdity of it, the absurdity that  _ he  _ should be walking along considering the complexities of the Avatar’s contentment. Zuko smiled to himself.  _ What would Uncle say if he could see me now?  _

They had reached the bridge again and Wan Shi Tong made a sharp, coughing sound that cut through Zuko’s contemplations and the chatter of the others. “This where we part ways,” the spirit stated.

No one protested the spirit’s suggestion. Zuko followed Katara, Sokka, Toph, and Jet in forming a line by the rope. Aang brandished his glider in preparation for flight. 

But the moment Katara fingers grasped the rope the librarian spoke again, “You humans are all the same. So rude. Leaving without so much as a thank you for the great gift of knowledge I have granted you.”

“It was a trade, we gave you what you asked for and you gave us what we asked for,” Zuko scowled. 

“Ah, but all I asked for in return for your friends’ freedom were some artifacts...and the ability to examine you, technically the  _ knowledge _ I gave you was free of charge.”

Sokka glanced at his sister, confused. “Examine?”

“We didn’t demand you share any of that with us. You gave that willingly --like you said, free of charge. Just let us go,” Katara said tightly. 

She appeared to be only angry, impatient to leave, but Zuko noticed the subtle flashes of anxiety flickering in the clenching muscles of her jaw, the twitching of her hands towards her water pouch.  _ She doesn’t want him to say anything, she doesn’t want the others to know…  _

Zuko turned back to Wan Shi Tong, and for the time he saw the resentment, in the black, haunting eyes of the librarian whose infinite wisdom had been wasted again and again. He was a spirit clearly embittered with mortals, weary of their selfishness, bored of their pettiness. Humans were authors of the most disappointing stories and unappreciative of any gifts he might impart to rid them of their foolishness and help them achieve true greatness. They never bothered to actually  _ listen _ . 

And here they were trying to slip away without showing the least bit of gratitude or appreciation, something the spirit clearly felt entitled to. In the spirit’s mind it had to be  _ wrong, twisted,  _ an insult _.  _ In his mind they ought to be groveling, going to desperate lengths to thank him for his benevolence, for sharing with them, enlightening them. 

_How did I not see this sooner?_ The spirit’s arrogance reminded Zuko of his father’s. As with Ozai, it was a trait that Wan Shi Tong did not bother to hide --but that only disarmed whoever had the displeasure of meeting him. It was a distraction. Beneath the simplicity of pride were qualities much more dangerous. _Cunning._ _Manipulative. Vindictive. Cruel._

Knowing the ways of such a monster, Zuko was not surprised by the maliciousness with which Wan Shi Tong spoke next, lightly, playfully, knowing full-well the impact his words would have on their group. “You may go…” He looked from Zuko to Katara, to Aang, his eyes glinting mischievously. “But I do hope _you two_ \--waterbender, firebender- will consider listening to the instincts of the spirit fragments inside of you. I believe it would only be right to acknowledge the attraction, the _pull_ … After all, Tui and La _are_ soulmates --and don’t all the legends say they belong together?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that happened...but this story is far from over!  
> Couple of notes because I had thought these questions might come up:  
> - _But Aang also interacts with spirit stuff in S1 at the North Pole, how come he doesn't have a weird Tui/La thing going on?_  
>  He's the Avatar. He's the bridge between the two worlds and for the sake of this story (and in my mind) he wouldn't be impacted by spirit stuff in the same way that other humans (like Katara and Zuko) are.  
> - _Is Wan Shi Tong a Zutara shipper?_  
>  Yes, yes he is. In the sense that I believe he is secretly very bored in his Library and craving drama and after all the trouble the Gaang has caused (and their general lack of respect/rudeness) the least he could do in return was give them a lot to discuss on the way to Ba Sing Se.
> 
> Ba Sing Se! Finally! I'm excited for what's to come -I hope you're still with me. 
> 
> As always thank you so much for reading, leaving kudos, sharing thoughts in the comments etc. If you're new to the story don't be shy! I get SO excited to see new people discovering this fic. If AO3 comments aren't your jam for whatever reason you can also say hi to me over on tumblr at [ zukos-calming-tea ](https://zukos-calming-tea.tumblr.com/)


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 3, 2, 1... Post! That's where I'm at today. Apologies for the delay, this chapter was a tricky one to write and edit.

As soon as they were safely away from the Spirit Library and its testy, spirit resident Sokka launched into a description of the discovery that had led to their capture. The day of black sun, he called it, and it became clear to Zuko just as quickly as it had to the others, that it would be _the day_ to turn the tide of the war for good. _A day where Azula, my father and all the benders in the Fire Nation army will be powerless…_ Of course, it also meant _he_ would be without his bending, but he resolved instead to come up with ways for his knowledge of Caldera City to be useful. 

It was a world-changing discovery, and yet…as soon as Sokka was done explaining it he turned to Katara and began to ask her about what Wan Shi Tong had said regarding her, Zuko, and spirits. Now they were approaching hour two of talking in circles. Even though the water tribe siblings had been doing most of the talking Zuko found he was exhausted by the discussion that continued to drag on. 

“But, how much of a _pull_ are we talking? I mean, how would you define that, like sometimes you find yourself thinking about him? Or you had a few dreams? Or like can’t stop staring at him or --hey, don’t look at her like that!” 

“Sokka, he’s not even looking at me, he’s looking at Aang,” Katara sighed indignantly. 

“Zuko, I’m _fine,_ ” Aang insisted not for the first time, but his tight tone and the firm line of his lips pressed together in frustration suggested otherwise. The airbender had barely said a word since leaving the Spirit Library. 

Somehow that was worse than if he had shouted like Zuko had expected him to. He wanted Aang to ask questions --to be given the chance to defend himself from the resentment the Avatar was surely building... Then again, Sokka was doing enough interrogating for the rest of them combined. 

“I’m just trying to understand... What _happened_ between you two?” 

“Nothing!” Zuko and Katara blurted at once.

“Nothing has happened,” she repeated. Katara’s eyes flicked to Zuko’s from across Appa’s saddle, but only for the briefest of moments, before turning back to her brother. “There’s nothing going on with me and Zuko. The only side effect of the spirit energy I’ve noticed are the storms that took us into the swamp and to the Library.”

“The storms that took you to the swamp and the library…” Sokka repeated. 

“The Spirit Library and the swamp both draw in spirit energy, because they are places where the connection between the spirit world and our world is strongest. When we got close enough, it was like a whirlpool, we got sucked in,” Zuko said. He wasn’t sure how many times now that he’d repeated pretty much the same explanation. At least a few too many. Enough that his head was pounding from it all. 

“And that occurred, because of the spirit fragments inside of you...” Sokka said, uncertainly.

“Because of the spirit fragments inside of us,” Katara agreed. 

“And the fragments come from the spirit water you used to heal Zuko --water that was infused with the ‘spirit-ness’ of Tui and La.”

Katara blinked, a subtle sign she was attempting to find more patience for her brother. “Yes.”

“ _Tui_ and _La,_ Katara!” Sokka exclaimed, waving his hands, “Tui and La! And you’re going to tell me you’re not feeling _anything_ towards Zuko after absorbing some of _their_ energy?!” 

His sibling squeezed her eyes shut in response, pinched the bridge of her nose between her thumb and pointer finger, and exhaled heavily. 

“Katara?” Aang had shifted in his seat, twisting to look back at her over his shoulder, eager to hear her response --perhaps more so than her own brother, who fidgeted uncomfortably as though preparing for the worst.

“So what if she likes Sparky?” Toph demanded. “Didn’t you say she liked Jet once too? If you ask me, it’s an improvement.”

“Hey!” the rebel protested.

Bickering broke out. Again. Zuko remained silent, and, he noticed, so did Katara who was taking in the fighting with a sad, knowing look on her face. 

“ENOUGH!” she shouted a moment later. “Enough…” she repeated, quietly, her gaze falling to her hands. “This is a waste of time. Wan Shi Tong was just messing with us. I believe him that Zuko and I both have spirit essence inside of us, but I…” she took a deep breath before continuing, “I don’t feel _anything_ towards him. I never have… Now can you please give it a rest?” she asked them, a broken, desperate note in her voice. 

“Fine,” Sokka said reluctantly.

The Si Wong desert had faded from view, now they followed the spine of a jagged mountain range, and in the distance Zuko could just make out the glimmer of water. They would arrive at Ba Sing Se no later than sunset. The notion should’ve given him some comfort, but he couldn’t seem to shake the hollow feeling that had settled in his chest. 

_‘I don’t feel_ anything _towards him. I never have.’_ Katara had sounded so confident, so sure. He wished he could echo her earlier words, but even as Zuko tried to convince himself that he shared the sentiment he caught his gaze drifting in the waterbender’s direction. For a moment he forgot to breathe, mesmerized by the movement of her hair in the wind, dancing, like the tips of a dark flame…

Zuko cursed his own weakness. He was beginning to realize that part of the problem was his own reluctance to admit he was under the spirits’ influence. He had been manipulated for so long by his own family and nation that it angered him to think he had broken free of one authority only to end up unknowingly controlled by another. It made him ponder if he would ever, truly, possess his own agency --and if he would even know it when it came, seeing as he had thought all this time that it was himself, and only himself, falling for Katara… Whether or not he had expected anything to come of his feelings they had been pleasant, and to relinquish any part of them as side effects of the spirits felt like denying a part of the person he had thought he was becoming. 

It didn’t help that he felt alone in his struggle and confusion. At this point he was convinced the spirit fragments were more of an annoyance to Katara than anything. 

Zuko continued to turn all the components of the situation over and over again in his head until Jet collapsed beside him, startling him from his intense contemplations and blank stare. “Hey, how’s it going?”

“I’m really not in the mood to answer any more questions…” 

The boy gave a loose shrug. “That’s fine. I think I get the gist of what’s happening.”

“Er, you do?”

“Yup, Toph and I talked amongst ourselves while Sokka had his freak out. We’ve come to our own conclusions on the situation.”

Zuko glanced at the earthbender, seated near Sokka and Aang. She had questioned him and Katara relentlessly the night after they had slipped away to fight the forest fires, but she had hardly reacted at all to the news about Tui and La that Wan Shi Tong had so _kindly_ delivered and Zuko only just now realized how odd that was for one so typically outspoken and nosy. 

“You know, you’re really not so bad for an ashmaker,” Jet said. “You carry all this guilt around with you --and trust me, I recognize the look, I’ve lived it too- but as far as I can tell you’re a decent guy. Doing the best you can, just like the rest of us.”

Zuko did not respond. Jet hadn’t asked about his sister or her friends yet today, probably only because he was distracted by the rather dramatic news that Katara was supposedly spiritually tied to Zuko… It was not the time to correct Jet on his assumptions. Everything already felt too fragile, like one spark would blow everything up beyond recovery. 

“Don’t you want to hear our conclusions?”

Zuko sighed. _Will it get you to leave me alone?_ “Sure.”

“Toph thinks you’re a good guy too. She says she has a better idea of people’s true nature than most. She says from the moment she met you and Katara, she always had this sense that there was something between you. Anyways, she said there’s clearly still something there, and having seen you two together, I tend to agree.”

“She’s just sensing the spirit fragments messing with us.”

Jet shrugged. “She said that’s not how her feet see things.”

“It’s only the physical reactions our bodies are having to the behaviors of the spirit particles.”

Jet shrugged again. “Yeah, Toph knew that too, but she was _certain_ that you _both_ have experienced these reactions. So, we asked ourselves --why has Katara been so insistent about telling us she hasn’t felt _anything_? If she’s so certain that’s all just the spirits, why lie about the symptoms? What is there to hide?”

***

The outer walls of Ba Sing Se were bathed in the warm light of the setting sun. They cast long shadows on the lower rings of the city. Katara watched as lights began to appear on the streets to combat the settling dark, while the Earth King’s palace at the top of the hill, behind the uppermost wall, enjoyed the last, lingering rays of what had felt like the longest day. 

Normally there was the easy buzz of conversation to pass the time as they flew through the air on Appa’s back, but the hours spent in travel today had been filled with either the intensity of Sokka’s questions, or the discomfort of a strained silence. She had carefully avoided sitting anywhere near Zuko, carefully avoided looking in his direction, carefully avoided even thinking of him. She had thought this would help. Instead, it had only made her feel worse, empty. 

So, it was a great relief to Katara to find that time was still passing in spite of it all and an even greater relief still, to be distracted by the sight of Ba Sing Se, and the promise of more immediate concerns stealing both her attention, and the attention of her friends. 

Appa landed easily atop the outermost wall of Ba Sing Se, much to the alarm of its guards who all rushed forward, hands raised apprehensively. 

_If this is their approach to a massive creature dropping in from the sky with strangers on its back..._ Katara was unconvinced of their ability to handle Azula. _It’s a good thing we’re here._

Before the guards had decided on how to handle the situation, Aang bent himself to the ground and gestured to the arrow on his forehead. “It’s okay, I’m the Avatar! We’re here to speak to the Earth King. It’s very important, the city is in danger.”

A guard in finer uniform than the rest, likely higher-ranking, seemed unimpressed by this declaration and said gruffly, “Civilians aren’t allowed on the wall.”

“Didn’t you hear him? We’re here to _help_ ,” Sokka said.

Aang nodded. “Take me to whoever is in charge.”

The lead guard considered them for a moment, eyeing Appa in particular, before turning with a huff and gesturing over his shoulder from them to follow. His fellow soldiers trailed loosely behind them, seeming curious more than anything.

“This is our captain,” the lead guard said, when they stopped. He gestured to his superior, a man with a long, thin mustache, seated behind a small desk with a cup of tea steaming calmly beside him. 

He took a sip of the tea before addressing them and Katara marveled at the unconcerned expression on the captain’s face. How well-prepared for anything he must feel if he was so determined to stare at the newly-arrived Avatar, in the middle of wartime, as though he were watching the beginning of a children’s play rather than receiving potentially horrible news. She had not felt this same luxury of serenity whenever strangers appeared in the South Pole. 

“It is an honor to welcome you to the Outer Wall, young Avatar,” the man behind the desk said, setting aside his tea. “But your help is not needed.”

“Not needed?” Aang asked incredulously, glancing at Katara as though to confirm he had heard correctly.

“Not needed,” the man repeated, as though in agreement. “I have the situation under control. I assure you the Fire Nation cannot penetrate this wall.” He walked towards the edge of said wall to look out admiringly. “Many have tried to break through, but none have succeeded.” 

He said it so simply. _Has this man ever even seen Fire Nation machinery?_ Katara was beginning to think maybe the man had been frozen in ice, like Aang. Maybe no one had told him yet that there was a _war_ happening. Maybe the last time he had seen someone attack the wall it had been a waterbender attempting to slowly chip away at the stone out of sheer boredom or a small earthbending child who had chosen the wrong place to practice. 

“What about the Dragon of the West?” Toph inquired. “He got in.”

Katara felt someone stumble into her back and reached out automatically to steady them. 

“Sorry,” Zuko mumbled to her, his eyes briefly catching hers.

A response should have easily slid off of her tongue, _‘It’s okay,’_ she should have said. Instead, she found herself fighting to ignore the happy surge of her heart at the warm feel of his shoulder beneath her hand. She stepped away quickly, only afterwards realizing that it had been surprise she had seen in Zuko’s eyes... only afterwards remembering a conversation she had had with Zuko one night about his uncle, about his uncle’s stories of Ba Sing Se, from back when he had been someone very different from the kind, tea-loving, old man he had become… Zuko had mentioned his uncle’s nickname -- _the Dragon of the West_ …

Katara found herself wanting to turn back to the firebender, understanding now why he had tripped, but instead she forced herself to listen intently to the captain’s response to Toph. 

“Well… Technically, yes, but he was quickly expunged,” the man assured them. 

“This isn’t the Dragon of the West that’s coming.” Zuko’s voice was carefully flat as he spoke of his family. “The girl who leads the Fire Nation army that is on its way here will be very disappointed. Ba Sing Se is supposed to be a grand conquest, but this will be too easy for her. She will yawn as Fire Nation technology tears through your walls, and she will laugh as the flames consume your city.”

“You have a very active imagination,” the captain commented.

“I don’t have to. I’ve seen her in action, and I know what the Fire Nation is capable of.” Zuko turned away to examine the horizon warily, as though he expected to see his sister appear at any moment.

He did not see the captain squinting at his scarred face, but Katara did, and something about the judgement in the stranger’s eyes angered her. Zuko knew what the Fire Nation was capable of more intimately than most. And so did she. “What do you know about any of it?” she demanded of the captain, this ignorant, dismissive man. “The _Avatar_ is here to personally deliver a warning to this city and you’re choosing to ignore him? Where I come from we would have given anything for such a gift. To know what was coming, to be given a chance to prepare.”

“Katara…” Sokka warned.

“Ash fell from the sky,” she continued, ignoring him. “We didn’t realize that was an omen --our _warning_ \- until it was too late.” _Until she was gone…_ How many of the children of Ba Sing Se would lose their mothers if this man did not listen? 

Sokka glanced at her, in his eyes was a sad recognition of the pain she spoke of. “Look, it’s not just this battle. It’s the entire war. We have _very_ important information for the Earth King.”

“If you won’t take us to him we’ll go ourselves,” Aang added, his gaze sliding pointedly in Appa’s direction. The sky-bison gave a low growl as though to confirm the airbender’s words.

The captain fidgeted uncomfortably. “I can’t just let you---”

“Captain,” a woman’s voice said brightly.

Katara spun in the direction of the sound. The way the captain stiffened at the call of the woman’s voice had made her expect someone much fiercer, but behind them stood a perfectly ordinary woman. Though the yellow and green robes she wore were of a fine quality, they were unremarkable in design. She was of average height and built, with plain hair and a plain face. There was nothing about her that suggested anything dangerous, and yet, the longer Katara studied the stranger the more unnerved she became. _Something_ was odd about the woman, she just couldn’t tell _what._

“Joo Dee,” the captain bowed his head briefly. “What brings you to the Outer Wall?”

“I am here to greet our visitors of course,” she chirped. 

“Visitors…” the captain repeated, blinking.

“Yes, visitors! I was informed of their arrival.”

“Are you talking about us, lady?” Toph asked, eyebrow raised in suspicion and arms crossed.

Aang scratched his head. “But we only just got here…” 

“The Earth King is a very attentive host,” Joo Dee assured them with a grin.

Everything in her tone, body language, and expression suggested friendliness and yet Katara felt instinctively mistrustful of the woman as she whisked them away from the captain. Still she wasn’t about to protest if the Earth King had somehow discovered their arrival and was prepared to welcome them ---despite his soldiers clearly disagreeing. Within minutes the group found themselves squeezed inside a carriage pulled by two ostrich-horses, Appa walking grumpily behind them. 

“It is a great honor to show the Avatar around Ba Sing Se,” Joo Dee said as they rattled through the streets of the lower ring. 

“Wait, wait, wait,” Sokka shook his head. “Show us around? We don’t have time for a tour. We have information that we need to deliver to the Earth King immediately.”

“Let’s complete our tour, and then I will show you to your new home here,” Joo Dee smiled. “I think you’ll like it.”

“Maybe you missed what he said…” Jet said. “We need to talk to the king about the _war_. It’s important.” 

“You’re in Ba Sing Se now,” Joo Dee replied calmly. “Everyone is safe here.”

“Not for long…” Zuko muttered under his breath. 

Joo Dee either did not hear him or pretended not to, settling back into her description of how the rings within the city defined certain areas. Katara only half-listened, the view outside the window of the carriage told her everything she needed to know. It was clear that there was a great disparity in wealth across the rings. In the lower rings there were hardly any lanterns lit to see by, but in the dusk she could just make out crumbling structures and she heard the distant shouts of a violent argument --someone accusing another of thievery. As they climbed further the lighting grew more abundant, the buildings nicer, and the clothing of the people walking by more vibrant. It made no sense to Katara, that one part of the community suffered while another flaunted their wealth and wanted for nothing. She found it somewhat sickening. It was not how things worked where she came from, where her tribe looked out for another, understanding that helping those in need would only make them stronger as a whole...

Universal across all the rings were the awed stares of the citizens of Ba Sing Se as a sky-bison ambled by, following one of the Earth King’s carriages. 

Sokka continued to try and urge Joo Dee of the importance of their message for the Earth King, but for every comment he made, she simply smiled, nodded, and returned to delivering the many facts she knew about Ba Sing Se. 

The carriage at last pulled to a stop, Joo Dee exited the carriage, and Sokka tugged at Katara’s arm to get her attention. “Is that woman deaf? She only seems to hear every other word I say.”

“It’s called being handled, get used to it,” Toph said. 

“It’s getting late. At this point we probably won’t get an audience with the Earth King until tomorrow anyways,” Katara pointed out. “Let’s just get settled for the night and start fresh in the morning --maybe we’ll be able to find someone else to talk to.” It was a practical approach, but also one that was quite selfish. She found herself suddenly exhausted by it all. She longed for a warm meal and a hot bath --to rid herself of the sand between her toes, to comb through the tangles still in her hair from the swamp…

Joo Dee poked her head back into the carriage. “We have arranged accommodations for you here amongst the palace gardens. The guest houses here are reserved only for our finest guests.”

Katara took the hint and followed the woman out of the carriage into a magnificent courtyard. Stone paths, lined with lights, wound through vegetation in every direction in dizzying twists and turns. In the distance the dramatic sloping roofs of the palace could just be seen, like miniature mountain peaks against the twilight. To one side was a building with an orange tiled roof, intricately decorated circular door, and a welcoming glow emanating from within. Across from the building was a small, artificial waterfall bubbling into and disturbing the glossy surface of a little lake. Surrounding the lake were blossoming trees of white, upon whose branches swung blue lanterns, glowing, their reflections dancing in the water like...spirits. _Is there really no avoiding them?_ Katara wondered, tearing her eyes away quickly. The last thing she wanted was to be reminded of spirits --and since to her relief her brother had not asked her a single question about Zuko in several hours, she didn’t want him being reminded of spirit stuff either… 

“Please, make yourselves at home.” Joo Dee gestured to the circular door of the guest house. “Dinner will be brought to you shortly.”

Sokka seemed to perk up at the mention of food. “Okay, we’ll talk to the Earth King tomorrow,” he agreed, already moving towards the door. 

“Tomorrow,” Aang vowed. He turned to Appa and rubbed the sky-bison’s nose affectionately. “Will you bring Appa food too?” he asked Joo Dee before she could depart. 

“Of course,” the woman promised with a bow.

The group headed inside, leaving Appa in a spot beside the house where the grass was soft and a canopy of trees whispered pleasantly in the wind. He seemed especially content to rest after a long day of flying.

The moment they were inside and the door shut securely behind them Jet burst out, “Can we talk about how _creepy_ that lady is?”

“No… We’re not alone yet,” Toph informed them, pointing to the left of the room where behind a paper screen a shadow was moving. 

The screen rolled back and a girl dressed in a green tunic emerged, struggling to keep hold of an enormous pile of blankets. She dropped all of them in startlement when she saw their group. “Sorry!” she bowed clumsily. “I’m almost done, I swear, I…” She paused to study them, blinking in confusion. “Wait, you’re not wearing palace uniforms…”

Katara smiled kindly, “Nope.”

“So you don’t work here --whew!” the girl sighed loudly, running a hand through messy brown hair, causing only further chaos. “I thought for sure Joo Dee had sent someone to fire me. The place is _almost_ ready --I just got a bit distracted, there was the cutest little hedgehog-squirrel sitting near one of the windows and it caught my eye. Anyways, I know _she_ thinks I’m slow and lazy, but I really do try my best, and I really need the job, ya know? Besides,” she snorted and waved at the room. “I don’t get what the rush is, the guests aren’t even _here_ yet.”

“Uh…” Sokka began, but Katara elbowed him sharply. “Ouch, what was that for?”

The girl noticed the exchange. Her brow furrowed for a moment, her eyes passing over their clothing, settling on the flying-lemur perched on Aang’s shoulder --a creature decidedly _not_ native to the Earth Kingdom. When she realized her mistake her cheeks reddened in an instant. “Oh, spirits…” She slapped her palm to the center of her forehead. “ _You’re_ the guests. Of course, you are...gah I’m such an idiot,” she muttered to herself. 

“It’s not a big deal,” Zuko assured her. 

“Joo Dee is _definitely_ going to fire me now,” the girl declared, looking thoroughly distraught.

“It’s okay, we won’t tell anyone.” Katara liked this girl, the first _normal_ seeming person in all of Ba Sing Se with her bright, forest-green eyes, expressive gestures, and inflection-filled voice.

“You won’t? Really?” the girl asked.

Zuko walked up the stairs. “Really,” he repeated. “Can I help you with these?” Before she could answer he had knelt, reaching for one of the fallen blankets. 

“Oh, thank you, but you don’t have to do that. It’s my job, after all.” The girl dropped to her knees beside him to gather the remainder of the bundle towards her. 

When they moved for the same blanket, the girl’s hand brushed Zuko’s and Katara noticed her cheeks flush once more. She noticed the shy glance the girl stole in the firebender’s direction as they both rose from the floor. She noticed her own stomach twist with something like jealousy. She noticed, but she wished she wouldn’t. _Pipe down, spirits,_ she demanded silently. 

Her voice might have been unusually loud when she spoke again, because the girl jumped and tore her eyes abruptly away from Zuko. “I’m Katara.”

Her brother gave a small wave. “I’m Sokka.”

Jet and Toph introduced themselves, and then, seemingly for the first time, the girl noticed Aang. Her jaw dropped. “Y-you’re the Avatar,” she said. 

“You can call me Aang,” the airbender told her with a grin. 

“I can’t believe I didn’t realize right away --now I’m even more embarrassed…”

“Don’t be,” Aang said. He pointed to his shoulder where Momo sat, tilting his head in consideration. “This is Momo.”

The girl giggled. “Hi, Momo.”

In answer to his name Momo flew across the room and landed atop the girl’s head. He began fidgeting with her ponytail. 

Zuko reached for the lemur. “Ah, Momo, don’t pull on her hair --you’ve only just met her!”

“It’s okay,” the girl assured him, reaching one hand up with a smile to tickle one of the lemur’s ears and looking sideways at the firebender. “Do you have a name too?” she teased.

“My name is, uh...” He hesitated, and Katara could tell he was trying to decide if it was safe to reveal his true name here, but by now the Fire Nation had to know he was traveling with the Avatar and an Earth Kingdom citizen wouldn’t think anything of it. 

“Hi, Uh. Nice to meet you.”

“No, that’s not…” He rubbed the back of his neck, flustered. “I mean --my name is Zuko.”

“Ah, now that makes more sense.” The girl smirked playfully. 

A knock at the door interrupted further conversation. Momo transferred to his prized spot atop Zuko’s head as the girl went to answer. 

“Is the Avatar here?” A familiar voice floated into the room.

Katara turned to see her brother’s reaction, but to her surprise he hadn’t even noticed.

“He is --your food has arrived!” the girl with the blankets explained, before turning back to the person at the door. “Are you new here?”

“Oh, I just happened to be at the palace trying to get an audience with someone to discuss a better strategy for escorting refugees to Ba Sing Se when I heard the most amazing rumor that the Avatar was here… He’s an old friend, so I begged the servant bringing the food here to let me help out.”

The girl shrugged and opened the door wider, taking a tray stacked with several containers smelling of food from the new arrival so that she could go set up their meal, as was presumably part of her job.

Suki looked different without her Kyoshi warrior makeup and uniform, but her kind eyes and easy smile were instantly recognizable. Katara grinned at her and looked again at her brother, whose gaze had passed right over Suki and followed their dinner.

Suki marched up to him, amused, and pressed her face closer to his. “You really don’t recognize me?” she asked. 

“Er…” Sokka slowly began to pull his eyes from the food to meet hers. 

But Suki had grown impatient. “Maybe you’ll recognize this,” she said slyly, and grabbed at the front of his shirt, drawing his cheek towards her so she could plant a kiss on it. 

Sokka’s eyes lit up even as his cheeks darkened. “Suki!!!” 

“Hi, Sokka.” The warrior greeted him warmly. “It’s so good to see you!”

Zuko was watching the pair embrace with an uneasy expression on his face and Katara suddenly recalled that the last time he would have seen a Kyoshi warrior was when he was on Kyoshi Island...or more specifically when he was _attacking_ Kyoshi Island. Jet was also starring, waiting to be introduced, and Toph too was awkwardly kicking at the floor. 

Despite the fact that they were in a guesthouse in a strange city, Katara decided to take on the role of polite host for a moment. “Toph, Jet, this is Suki,” she said. “She’s a Kyoshi warrior.”

Suki pulled away from Sokka to say hello. 

“And Suki…” Katara said slowly. “This is Zuko…” 

The firebender’s shoulders drew up towards his ears, as though to shield them from whatever response the warrior might hurl his way. 

Suki’s eyes narrowed. 

“He’s with us now,” Katara told her, observing the warrior’s forming scowl. 

“Yeah, it’s okay. He’s teaching me fir-” Aang glanced at the palace girl and thought better of finishing his sentence. “He’s a good guy,” he said instead. 

Katara saw Zuko turn towards the airbender, seeming genuinely surprised to hear him speaking in his defense, though she wasn’t sure why. 

“Well, I trust your judgement…” Suki shrugged and shifted her gaze back to Sokka, unwilling to let the firebender’s presence ruin her reunion with the boy. 

Something tugged within Katara’s core as she watched her brother with the warrior. Their easy touches and unashamed stares of admiration. It was a little gross how cute it was, especially because it was her brother, but it was not just that… She found herself envious of the simplicity to their affection. Whatever existed between them, it was just them, and nothing else. No spirits to complicate… 

_Complicate what? There was nothing_ to _complicate,_ Katara reminded herself stubbornly.

She was grateful when the palace girl’s words interrupted her thoughts, “I set out dinner. There is fresh clothing in the rooms and clean bedding. If you have anything you wish to have laundered you can leave it in the basket on the porch. There’s also a bell you can ring to summon a palace worker should you require anything else, but while I am here… Is there anything else _I_ can get for you?”

It was not lost on Katara that the girl’s gaze seemed to especially linger on Zuko. “Thank you so much, I think we have all we could need and more,” she told the girl, not unkindly, though perhaps a bit pointedly.

“Sweet. Then have a good night,” the girl replied, her servant’s voice dropping as she flashed them a casual grin and turned towards the door.

“Wait,” Aang called. “You know all of our names, but you never told us yours.”

She looked back at them, smiling. “My name’s Jin.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to Ba Sing Se 😀  
> We're just getting started so I hope you're still with me! Thanks so much for reading and for your amazing/encouraging comments and kudos -it means the world, and it really keeps me going especially on weeks like the one I just had where a chapter is giving me a hard time.  
> Best wishes wherever and whenever you're reading this!  
> -B  
> aka [ zukos-calming-tea ](https://zukos-calming-tea.tumblr.com/) on tumblr


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was really fun to write -so fun it only took me a week to get it ready to post!

Zuko padded softly out of the room, watching the ground carefully for the sprawled limbs of his sleeping companions. 

As he slid the paper screen back into place behind him, muffling the sound of Jet’s snores, the firebender breathed a sigh of relief. 

It was not unusual that he should be the first one awake, but it had been an especially restless night for him and he was eager to find some time alone to calm his racing mind. At first, he hadn’t thought anything of their sleeping arrangements, the boys in one room, the girls across in another --there were two rooms, and it made sense. Comfortable pads and soft blankets had been nearly laid out on the floor for them by the palace girl, Jin. A significant upgrade from their usual campsite. Still, when Zuko had shut his eyes, a sharp sense of absence had come over him. In particular, the absence of Katara’s energy from the room. It was the furthest apart they had been in a long time. 

It had unnerved him to be so acutely aware of this fact, and the rest of the night had been spent tossing and turning. He had started out trying to sort his thoughts and feelings from the thoughts and feelings brought on by spirits --determined to come up with a definitive truth- but as the night wore on all that he had tried to so neatly organize melted together again. His attempt to find order dissolved into delirious dreams of koi spirits, glowing water, and tangled threads... 

The main room was quiet, the air crisp compared to the bedroom where the bodies of the others imparted warmth to the space. A lazy, morning breeze slipped through an open window and gently swept across Zuko’s bare chest. He thought about going back into the room to grab the clean shirt that had been provided to him --along with the dark, loose-fitting pants he was wearing- but decided the chill was good, something to help clear the fog from his mind.

Outside, the artificial lake shimmered in early morning sunlight and the grass along its shores was dappled by the shadows of the nearby trees. After the desert, all the vegetation seemed exceedingly bright and heavily saturated to Zuko, who squinted for a moment, waiting for his eyes to adjust, before walking across the courtyard to a flat stone, nestled beside the water amongst some swaying reeds. 

He seated himself cross-legged upon the rock, his skin stealing the warmth from its sun-soaked surface. Then he curled his hands and rested them on his knees. The sun fell across his face so that when he closed his eyes a pleasant, orange glow greeted him. He drew a deep breath in, the air smelling of water, earth, and sun. He held it, focusing his energy. He released it, exhaling slowly, as uncle had taught him. He repeated the process again and again. Gradually the song of wakening birds and the rush of water tumbling into the lake grew distant, and finally, so too did the thunder of his own thoughts. 

When he opened his eyes again he discovered tendrils of water rippling just above the surface of the lake. They looped playfully beneath the waterfall and swung easy circles in the air, looking, for all the world, like the bodies of dragons, or the tails of a kite, soaring across the reflection of sky. 

Zuko looked to their master, dressed in a fresh, blue tunic, with damp hair unbound and drying in waves that mirrored the natural patterns of her element. He wondered how long she had been there. 

Katara was intent on her bending practice, and seemed, like him, to be at peace for the first time since leaving the Spirit Library. He stayed perfectly still, not wanting to disrupt her tranquility, not wanting to return to the reality where being in each other’s presence brought forth questions that seemed to have no answers. 

“Good morning, did you sleep well?” Jin’s cheery voice echoed across the courtyard. 

Katara dropped her arms and the water ‘dragons’ returned to the lake with a splash. She seemed disappointed to have been interrupted, but she greeted the girl with a warm smile all the same, “Good morning, sleep was fine. Finally getting the dirt off my skin and out of my hair? Incredible.” 

Jin had a nice laugh, the kind that instantly made you feel as though you had known her for years, even though you had only spoken for a matter of minutes. Still, when she turned to Zuko something in the directness of her gaze flustered him. “How about you?” She looked him up and down, taking in his shirtless state, her lips curling in amusement. “You look pretty clean to me. Which was better: sleep or bath?”

He suddenly wished he’d brought his shirt after all. “Uh-sure, um, yeah, nice. It was nice.”

Katara hadn’t turned to acknowledge he was there, though surely she must have seen him when she arrived at the lake. She kept her back turned to him as she spoke, “Jin, do you know if Joo Dee will be coming by today? I know it’s still early, but we really need to speak to the Earth King.”

“Ha! Good luck with that. It’s very difficult to get an audience with His Highness, and especially so lately. He’s busy making preparations for his bear’s birthday party.”

“His bear’s birthday party?” Zuko asked, thinking surely he must have misheard.

“Yes, it’s in a few days, but the celebrations go all week long,” Jin explained, no hint of a joke in her tone. 

“I think the King’s platypus-bear will be fine without a party if it means the city is saved,” Katara said. 

“Bear,” Jin corrected.

“What?” 

“Bear. It’s just a bear.”

“This place is  _ weird. _ ” Zuko turned to see Toph standing on the porch of the guesthouse with Suki, Sokka, Jet, and Aang. 

“We really won’t be able to meet with the Earth King today?” the airbender asked, sounding disheartened. 

Jin looked to him with sympathy. “I’m so sorry, but it’s really not likely.”

“We should storm in there right now!” Sokka said. “He needs to know that the Fire Nation army is marching here as we speak --and the day of black sun! We’ll need the Earth Kingdom military if we’re going to succeed.”

Zuko stared at Jin for a moment, waiting for her reaction to the news. Expecting her to deny the impending disaster as Joo Dee had. Instead, she frowned. “That does  _ not  _ sound good,” she agreed. “But barging into the palace isn’t going to get you anything, but trouble, trust me, I’ve been around here long enough to know.”

“So, we’ll just wait around for  _ more _ trouble to break down the walls of Ba Sing Se?” Toph asked.

“Maybe there’s a way you can meet the Earth King without having to wait for an audience. It’s  _ extremely  _ rare for the Earth King to leave his palace, but there is a rumor he’s going to be at the festival in the upper-ring tonight. If you could find him there you might be able to get a word with him,” Jin said.

It still didn’t feel fast enough, not knowing his sister, but Zuko nodded in response to the girl’s suggestion. “It’s worth a shot…” 

“A festival  _ does  _ sound like fun.” Suki looked to Sokka, standing beside her. “It could be our first, real date!”

That was all the convincing Sokka needed, and Zuko noticed Aang perk at the mention of a date too, his eyes drifting in Katara’s direction. 

Jin didn’t wait for anyone else to respond before saying, “Perfect, I’ll pick you guys up tonight!” She began to walk back in the direction of the palace...then turned abruptly back to them and began walking towards the guesthouse with an embarrassed smile. “Whoops, I forgot I came here to clear the dinner dishes.”

***

“So...What were you doing outside with Zuko this morning, sweetness?” 

Katara was grateful Toph had waited to ask that question until after Sokka had left their room to go get ready for the festival. She shrugged in response to the earthbender’s question. “Nothing, I went to practice my bending and he was meditating when I got there.”

“He was shirtless,” Toph commented.

“I think that’s how most firebenders meditate.” In truth Katara had no idea, but she wasn’t about to give her friend anymore fuel. A whole day had passed in which she had managed to focus on training with Aang, with no mention of spirits from anyone to distract her. 

“He wasn’t meditating when we showed up,” Suki remarked. 

_ But he  _ was _ before --when I arrived,  _ Katara thought to herself. 

The memory washed over her...of the sight of Zuko seated atop the rock in a patch of sunlight, the scar on his chest rising and falling with each breath. Her eyes had alternated between the lightning’s mark and his face, which had still held some tension when she first spotted him. As she drew slowly closer to the water, the last of it had faded, replaced by a look of pure contentment. She had meant to walk away, but found herself rooted to the spot. 

And she thought maybe she had missed him, or the spirit fragments within them had missed each other, because in his presence the tightness she had felt in her chest all night long had slowly begun to melt. At least if he was meditating she could enjoy being near him without having to contend with the draw of his eyes. So she had stayed, and it had been...wonderful. 

Until Jin had come along and flirted with Zuko, making everything confusing, because Katara thought it should be okay that a girl flirted with Zuko, but for some reason it wasn’t, and was that because of the spirits or…

“Hellooo, Katara,” Suki waved a hand in front of her face. “Are you still with us?”

“Just trying to figure out what to wear,” Katara lied. Again. She hated that it was becoming a default, to hide from the complicated, the unknowable --the things she couldn’t figure out no matter how hard she tried. With the spirit fragments influencing her was this agonizing uncertainty how it would always be? 

“You _know_ I can tell you’re lying,” Toph said.

“No, really! Are we sure I can’t just wear what I’ve got on?” Katara gestured to her usual garb. 

Toph nodded. “It looks _ great  _ to me.”

“See, Toph thinks it’s fine!” Katara began to turn to Suki, who was tying a length of emerald silk about her waist to finish off her outfit, then frowned and looked back at the earthbender. “Ha, ha, very funny.”

“I think it’s hilarious.” 

“Jin specifically had these dropped off for us,” Suki said. “She said the theme for tonight’s festival is gold.”

“Of course it is,” Katara grumbled, examining a short-sleeve blouse whose dark, blue color reminded her of deep water. It was embroidered with gold blossoms that ran from the tops of the shoulders down to where the folds of the silk shirt met.  _ This one’s nice…  _

“She said it’s the royal bear’s favorite color…” Suki broke into a smile and released a laugh she had been fighting to hold back, “because it’s the color of honey.”

“This place is ridiculous. All this fuss over a bear _ ,  _ but they won’t listen to us when we tell them  _ war  _ is coming for their city.” Katara shook her head and reached for a long, flowy skirt --gold, of course.

“Here, pair it with this.” Suki handed her a thin, silk belt to tie about her waist. It matched the blouse Katara was beginning to close, settling the left fold over the right. 

When the whole ensemble was complete Katara stole a glance at her reflection in the mirror. The clothes were finer than anything she had ever worn before, and she had to admit the combination of colors was striking. Still, she twirled for Suki. “How do I look?”

Before the warrior could answer there was a knock at the door and she answered, “Come in! We’re all dressed.”

Zuko walked in, wearing a long, ochre colored tunic with black details that matched the pants he wore underneath. The color brought out the gold in his eyes. Eyes that were fixed upon her with something like awe in them, causing her stomach to flip and her heart to race. 

It took Katara a moment to tear her own gaze away from the intensity of his. When she did she heard Zuko clear his throat, remembering himself, before saying quietly, “Aang wanted me to let you know we’re waiting outside. Ready whenever you are.”

It was Toph, with her bare feet pressed to the floor and a knowing smile, who answered Katara’s earlier question once Zuko had left the room. “I think you  _ both _ look like you’re in denial.”

***

Zuko drew a deep breath of night air when he emerged from the guesthouse and ran a hand through his hair as he exhaled. 

“You okay, Zuko?” Jet asked, fiddling with the buttons on the long sleeves of his shirt -- a deep, green patterned with gold. He had paired the garment with brown pants that were perhaps, slightly too short for the boy’s tall frame. 

Sokka wore the same, but in different colors, a blue shirt with gold pants --a mirror to the outfit his sister wore, the image of which was still burning in Zuko’s mind. “Zuko?” the water tribe boy asked when he did not answer Jet’s question.

“I’m fine,” Zuko shook his head determinedly, “where’d Aang go?”

Sokka shrugged. “He wandered into…” His sentence trailed off as Suki emerged from the house. “Wow, you look…”

The warrior picked up the skirt of the golden dress she wore and marched down the stairs towards him, grinning. “I know,” she told him, kissing his cheek. 

Toph joined the group next, in an emerald skirt with a gold top, complaining about the tight bun someone had pulled her hair into. “My mom always made me wear it like this, it hurts my head.”

“Ugh, I know, I hate it too,” Jin’s voice echoed across the courtyard as she approached, wearing a moss colored dress, much like Suki’s, with gold tendrils dancing across its surface. She stopped when she was next to Zuko, her shoulder brushing his. “Gold suits you,” she commented. “You look like royalty.” 

Toph gave a soft snort. “That’s funny...”

“Why’s that?” Jin asked. 

“Oh, no reason,” Sokka said hurriedly, shooting Toph a pointed look. 

Jet was getting the suspicious look on his face again. The one that usually preceded the sorts of inquiries Zuko found himself struggling more and more to answer. It wasn’t that he wanted to lie to the Freedom Fighter, but Sokka had insisted the truth of Zuko’s identity be kept secret. Not just for Zuko’s protection, but for them all. The boy did not trust that Jet’s reaction --for all that he seemed changed- would not be a dangerous one.

Jet’s mouth and the guesthouse door opened simultaneously and Sokka called out, “Katara!” Awesome, look at that, we’re all here! Time to go.”

Suki scanned the semicircle they had formed around the steps of the house, noticing the missing member to their group. “What about Aang?” 

“I’m here. “ His voice carried softly from where he stood just behind them in the center of the courtyard. He was staring at Katara admiringly. In the dim light Zuko could just see the airbender’s hand trailing at his side, hesitating. In it he held a pink blossom. 

_ A camellia, _ Zuko realized, hearing his mother’s voice in his mind. She had tended a garden at the palace, near the turtleduck pond, and he had loved to see her smile as she ran her hands lovingly through the dirt and told him stories about the different plants. She had told him about this one. Her words came back to him effortlessly,  _ ‘Even after a camellia dies, its blossom refuses to separate from its stem. That is why it is a symbol of undying, everlasting, love.’  _ She had looked at him and smiled, as though seeing his future.  _ ‘You must only give it to someone to whom you are entirely devoted.’  _

Aang held the flower out to Katara, an offering. “I got it from the garden for you,” he said quietly, tilting his head towards the path. 

Katara glided down the steps and across the courtyard to meet the approaching airbender. She accepted the flower with a warm smile and placed it in her hair, just behind her ear. “It’s beautiful, thank you, Aang.”

She was, but in a way that hurt to look at…

Zuko turned away. 

***

In every direction Katara looked there was a new form of excitement vying for her attention. The smell of honey wafted from the various carts that lined the street and music carried over the melodies of chatter and laughter. Everything was bathed in gold by the light of the countless, yellow lanterns, but it wouldn’t have mattered if a sudden breeze extinguished every last one, because not one person was missing gold from some part of their outfit. As it was the upper-ring, many wore fine jewelry in their ears and hair, or on their wrists and necks, almost blinding in their brilliance.

Katara couldn’t help but think of all the hungry mouths a single piece might feed just a few rings below. She made a note to mention it to the Earth King when they found him. After they had convinced him to lend him military aid and save the world from the Fire Lord, of course… _ right after.  _

It was hard to focus on their purpose when there was so much  _ happening.  _ Katara could tell the others were struggling too. Sokka kept pointing out new foods he wanted to try every few feet -- the noodles coated in a honey sauce, the sweet bread topped with berries, and better try the pastry too while he was there. He, Suki, Toph, and Jet slowly inched in the direction of the enticing scents… Even Aang was losing his concentration, his eyes wandering to a flurry of movement in the same direction as the music.

“Where do we start?” Zuko practically shouted above the din of the crowd.

Katara felt her jaw clench as Jin leaned closer to the firebender, placing her ear directly in front of his mouth. “What was that?!” she asked. 

“I asked where the Earth King is!” This time Zuko did shout.

“Oh,” Jin replied loudly, shrugging. “It’s still early! He probably won’t show up until the end. Come on! Let’s go check out some of the games!” She seized his hand and began to pull him behind her. 

Katara caught herself scowling and took a deep breath, urging the spirit energy inside of her to calm down. Fighting to gain control of her own emotions again. 

_ Unless these are your emotions, _ an annoying, unhelpful voice inside her head suggested. She resisted the desire to pull at her hair in frustration, not wanting to crumple the flower Aang had given her.

As though the thought of it had summoned him, the airbender appeared beside her, practically glowing in his golden robes. He adjusted the orange sash he wore hung over one shoulder before offering his hand, grinning, and she gladly took it, feeling some of the knots in her stomach loosen as she did so. Together, they chased after the others. 

They found Jin and Zuko standing with a group of people clustered around a small stage. 

“What’s this?” Katara asked.

“I was asking Zuko about where he comes from and how he met you all,” Jin said. “He said he used to work in the circus with his uncle as a professional juggler, so of course I had to show him the juggling competition!” 

It took everything in Katara not to laugh. Her eyes shot to Zuko and a wordless conversation passed between them.  _ Really? The circus? Juggling?  _

He cringed as though to say,  _ I know, I know.  _

“Why a juggling competition?” Aang asked, intrigued, standing on his tiptoes to try and see past the tall man in front of him. 

“It’s a favorite form of entertainment for the King’s bear,” Jin explained. “The winners get to perform for him!”

“For the King?!” Katara could tell where Aang’s head was going. An airbender could easily win a juggling competition.

Jin shook her head. “No, for his bear, but I guess the King might be there…”

Aang was already weaving through the crowd and jumping onto the stage. “I want to enter!”

Katara, Zuko, and Jin moved to the side to get a better view. 

The man running the competition was shaking his head at Aang. He pointed to the left at a sign, behind which two women were passing an impressive assortment of objects back and forth and back and forth --all while still maintaining their own juggling. “You have to have a partner to compete.”

Aang’s face fell, but not for long. He lifted his eyes, scanning the crowd, finding Zuko’s face. “Sifu!” He called, waving. 

“What’s happening…”

Katara covered her mouth when a snort nearly escaped her. “Uh, I think Aang wants a friend to compete with.”

Jin’s eyes widened. “Oh, it’s perfect! You’ll win for sure!” She nudged the firebender towards the stage. 

Zuko turned to Katara, a pleading look in his eyes, but Katara found herself rather enjoying the simplicity of such embarrassment, both because it was not a situation she herself was forced to endure, and because it had nothing to do with spirit energy or anything else equally as insane. “Show us what you got,  _ Sifu  _ Juggler!” she cheered. 

The not-a-former-circus-performer slowly dragged himself to the stage. 

“Him! I have a partner! He’s going to be my partner!” Aang was saying excitedly, gesturing for the competition runner to look.

“Fine, fine, go get in line. You’re after them.” The man pointed to a pair who appeared to be  _ dancing  _ while juggling. 

A few minutes later the crowd  _ still  _ hadn’t stopped clapping and cheering for the dancing jugglers when the competition runner at last nodded for Aang and Zuko to take the stage --the later holding a pile of fruit and looking like he might just sink into the earth and disappear forever, the former holding up to the audience a single, spherical rock. 

The act began with Aang’s  _ favorite  _ trick, spinning the rock in a circle between his palms. Technically, not juggling. It evolved from there as Zuko tossed fruit towards Aang and one by one the airbender added them to his circulation till all of the fruit looped in an easy circle over his head and between his two hands. Aang spun, and bowed, and twisted, using his bending to suspend the fruit in the air just subtly enough that no one could tell he was doing so with anything, but his hands.

Still circling the fruit, Aang turned towards Zuko and nodded, a signal. 

Katara swore she saw the firbender’s head shake ever so slightly in denial. 

The first fruit floated across the gap between them. Zuko caught it and immediately began to toss it from one hand to the next, gaining confidence with each passing second until the fruit flew high above him with each toss. His relief was clear.

Then Aang threw another fruit in his direction. 

This, Zuko caught, forgetting that the first fruit was still in flight above him. Gravity took over and the show ended in a flash. Or rather, a splat, as the fruit came down atop Zuko’s head. 

Laughter erupted from the audience and the airbender and his Sifu were dismissed from the stage. 

“Juggler, huh?” Katara teased, as the pair returned to where she and Jin waited. 

“I’m out of practice,” Zuko grumbled, accepting the kerchief Jin offered him with a grateful smile. He began to wipe the juice from his face and hair. 

Aang seemed a tad regretful about his choice in partners, but when a little girl approached, delighted to clap for him, any lingering disappointment vanished from his face. He crouched low and did his rock spinning trick for her one more time. Her watching mother smiled at her daughter’s laughter, and Katara smiled too as an onlooker to the sweet scene. 

When the little girl and her mom left, Aang’s eyes followed them for a moment, and Katara knew he was thinking, as she was: What would become of them if they were unable to convince the Earth King to prepare for Azula’s impending attack? 

Then something changed in Aang’s expression. He grabbed her hand and glanced over his shoulder at her, speaking as he moved them forward, “Suki and Sokka found the dancing!” 

This time it was their turn to rush off into the crowd, pursued by Zuko and Jin. 

As Aang pulled her onto the dance floor, Katara dodged dancers twirling shiny strands of golden fabric above their heads, the material spiraling around them like a cocoon. 

And then nothing existed, but the beat of the drums matching the footfalls of her feet, the notes of the flutes matching the arches of her spinning, the call of the strings matching the thrumming in her body as she let all her worries slip away, replaced by the joy of the dance. 

***

Jin had been about to tug Zuko onto the dance floor when a stern-faced man in an Earth Kingdom uniform had approached them, bowing his head and muttering something quietly to her. 

“Sorry, Zuko,” the girl said, looking annoyed to be interrupted. “I have to go help with something. Palace business.” She rolled her eyes as she backed away. “I’ll be right back! Don’t go anywhere!”

“You got ditched too, huh?” 

Zuko looked to his side to where Toph had placed herself, arms crossed, scowling. “Where’d Jet go?”

“Like I said, I got ditched. He said something about recognizing someone in the crowd and took off.”

She seemed irritated about more than Jet. “Do you…want to dance?” Zuko asked her, trying to be helpful.

She gave a short, sharp cackle of amusement. “Do you?”

Zuko’s eyes didn’t need to scan the dance floor to know where Katara was. He found her instantly, her skirt swirling around her like the petals of the flower she wore in her hair. She was laughing and breathless, delighted as Aang dipped her low --her hair nearly touching the floor- and pulled her upright again, closer to his chest. 

“No… I don’t think I do,” Zuko said to Toph at last, ignoring the phantom sensations that lingered from his brief, but vivid daydream of what it would be like if  _ he  _ were the one dancing with Katara.

“Are you hungry?”

“Not really.”

“Eh, let’s get some food anyways.” The earthbender headed away from the dance floor. 

They found a man selling fruit that had been candied using honey, and stacked piece by piece on a thin stick. After paying for the treats, they found a space tucked away from the crowd to sit and enjoy. 

Zuko took two bites, one of an orange fruit, the other of a yellow fruit.

“What do you think?” Toph asked, mouth full, already halfway done with hers. 

Zuko shrugged. “It’d be better coated in fireflakes. That’s how they serve it in the markets in the Fire Nation…” His mom had always bought them as a treat for him and Azula when they visited Ember Island. It was the second time he had thought of her that night, Zuko realized _ …  _ He wished she were here to offer him advice. He had spent so long without a compass --until he joined the Avatar, then he had felt as though he knew what direction to turn to again. And now? Ever since the Library he had been lost again, unsure. It was exhausting... and tonight especially so.

“You’re jealous of Twinkle Toes,” Toph stated bluntly.

Zuko sighed, but there was no point in trying to hide anything from her. “I shouldn’t be.”

“Why not? You like her, don’t you?”

“So does the Avatar.”

Toph smirked. “So you admit it: you like her.”

Zuko put his head in his hands. His reply was muffled by his fingers, “Yes.”  _ Yes, _ yes! __ It felt good to say. To admit. To confess.  _ Yes, I like her --I like her a lot.  _

“I couldn’t tell  _ at all,”  _ Toph’s voice dripped with sarcasm. 

“Don’t gloat,” Zuko groaned, lifting his head. “It could still just be the spirits.

“Do  _ you _ think that’s what it is?”

“I really don’t know…” he answered truthfully. “There is  _ something  _ between us that feels...powerful, but there’s also… There’s also just Katara. I think she might be the most incredible person I’ve ever met. Who  _ wouldn’t  _ like her?” 

Toph laughed. “It’s like I said. You’ve got it  _ bad,  _ Sparky.”

_ And what about Katara?  _ he wanted to ask, thinking back to the opinions Jet had shared with him the day they arrived in Ba Sing Se, but it didn’t feel right --to ask Toph how she thought the waterbender felt. Zuko knew what Toph’s answer would be, and even if her abilities weren’t exactly mindreading, it still felt like an invasion of Katara’s privacy.  _ Besides, Katara hiding spirit symptoms from the others doesn’t necessarily mean she feels how I feel...  _ If anything, the way she had been with Aang tonight had convinced him that she was hiding spirit particle symptoms so as not to ruin whatever  _ they  _ might have… 

Zuko didn’t want to think about it anymore. He looked to Toph. “What about you?”

“What about me?”

“You seem...upset that Jet left.”

“Are you asking what I think you’re asking?” Toph said, beginning to chuckle.

“Uh,” Zuko hesitated. He wasn’t used to talking about crushes. When he had liked Mai he had told  _ no one.  _ It was Mai who had told his sister and that had turned out...horribly. But he figured it was only fair to give Toph the chance to open up after she had listened to him ramble on. “Do you like Jet?”

The earthbender burst into raucous laughter, clutching her sides when she nearly ran out of breath from it. 

Zuko flushed. “What? No?...Okay, Toph…..Toph…... Come on --be serious!” 

It was another minute or two before she was finally able to speak, wiping tears from her eyes. “Oh, Zuko… No, I don’t like Jet.”

“I got that,” he muttered, poking the empty stick that had held the fruit at the cobblestone below their feet.

“I think he had a bit of a crush on  _ you _ for a bit though.”

“Really?” Zuko asked, feeling guilty. 

“Relax, he knows you’re crazy for Katara. Pretty sure he’s already moved on. He’s a bit of a flirt if you hadn’t noticed.” 

“Okay, so if it’s not Jet you’re upset about, then what is it?” 

“Who says I’m upset?” 

Zuko waited for her to share rather than respond.

“Ugh, fine,” Toph growled, snapping a bit off of the stick from her treat and dropping it to her feet. She continued to break off pieces and drop them, creating a pile on the street. “It’s not Jet…”

_ Oh, spirits…  _ Zuko’s mind raced, panicked by her tone.  _ Not… Me? _

“Sparky, you’re so bad at this! I felt your heart just now, I know what you’re thinking.  _ No, it’s not you. _ ” She rolled her eyes. “It’s…Sokka --I like, Sokka, okay?” She groaned, embarrassed to have said it outloud.

“Sokka?” 

“I know, it came as a surprise to me too…”

But it made sense now, why Toph had been frowning in the direction of the dancers in the same way he had, because Aang had been dancing with Katara, and  _ Sokka _ had been dancing with Suki. 

“What will we do?” Zuko asked, because it was the only thing he could think to say.

“Eh, I’ll get over it.” Toph shrugged. “I like Suki. She’s cool, and I can tell Snoozles really cares for her. It’s just a stupid crush anyways.”

Zuko made a noncommittal sound in response.

“Oh, I know, Sparky. I said  _ I’ll  _ get over it. You on the other hand? Not a chance.”

“Great. Thanks for that.”

She punched his arm roughly. 

“Ow! What was that for?”

“That’s just how I show affection,” she said, lips curling in a smug smile as she rose to her feet. “Now, come on, we can’t sulk about all night.”

***

Katara wiped sweat from her forehead and collapsed gratefully into a chair, winded. Across the table, Sokka did the same, pulling Suki onto his lap. Aang had disappeared in search of refreshments. 

“That was  _ so  _ fun,” Suki proclaimed, lifting her hair from her neck to cool herself. She beamed at Sokka. “You’re a good dancer.”

A small smile appeared on Katara’s face at the sight of her brother’s proud expression.

“You too, Katara,” the warrior added, turning to her.

“Thanks, Suki, but I have to give Aang some credit. He’s a good dance partner.”

“I don’t call him Twinkle Toes for nothing.”

Katara turned to see Toph and Zuko drawing closer. The firebender gave her a strange look then shifted his gaze to the ground, searching for something. She watched as he bent to pick an object up, confused at first, until he held out his hand, the camellia Aang had given her balanced, carefully in his palm. 

It had likely fallen off in the whirlwind of their dancing, perhaps sometime during the many twirls Aang had spun her in. “Thanks, Zuko,” she told him. It had been Aang who offered the flower to her first, but something about accepting it from Zuko felt different and she couldn’t say why. She secured the blossom in her hair again as her friends began to converse. 

A few minutes later Aang returned with cups of water --and Jin. 

The palace girl’s eyes held remorse. “I’m afraid I’ve received word that the King has elected  _ not  _ to attend the festival tonight.”

“What?! But that’s a whole day wasted,” Sokka exclaimed. 

“Not an entire waste, Sokka,” Suki corrected, squeezing his hand reassuringly. “Tonight was fun. And you all  _ deserve _ some fun. Besides, tomorrow is a new day. You can try again then.”

“He’s right though,” Zuko said in a low voice. “Azula could be here any day. We don’t  _ have  _ time to waste.”

“I’m so sorry,” Jin said. “I’ll see Joo Dee first thing tomorrow when I report for work, and I promise I will insist she find a way to get you an audience with the King. She cannot ignore a request from the Avatar.”

_ She has before,  _ Katara thought, disheartened, but it was clear Jin felt bad for not being able to provide them with what they had sought that night, and she did not want to make her feel worse by voicing her pessimism aloud. Instead, she looked at the disappointed faces of her friends and said, “Thanks, Jin. I think we might be ready to go home for the night and rest. It will be a big day tomorrow.”

Jin nodded, “Absolutely, let me guide you home.”

“Wait, what about, Jet?” Zuko asked.

Toph tilted her head in consideration, but seemed unconcerned. “I think he can find his way home… Or maybe the friend he went after can.”

“He’ll be perfectly safe in the city,” Jin assured them. “Especially here in the upper-ring.”

The group agreed to be led back to the palace gardens, the echoes of the partying following them up the quiet cobblestone hill they trudged up. Their footsteps rang out eerily loud when they reached the courtyard, sounding strangely lonely after the commotion of the festival. 

“Thank you again for everything tonight, Jin,” Aang said, one foot on the steps of the guesthouse. 

“Oh, it was nothing! The clothes were all courtesy of Joo Dee, or well, the Earth King really since he’s your host --but she arranged it when I mentioned you planned on attending the festival.”

“Still,” the airbender replied, smiling.

“You’re very welcome, Avatar,” the girl bowed. 

One by one they bid Jin goodnight, but just as Katara was about to step inside, Zuko trailing behind her, the girl called out again. “Wait, Zuko, can we talk for a minute?” 

Her tone sent an unpleasant shiver of dread down Katara’s spine. Her stomach gave a sickening twist when Zuko paused, and turned to walk back down the steps. Suddenly, sleep was the last thing on her mind. She didn’t want to go inside at all...but she couldn’t linger like a creep either, so she stepped through the door and --finding the main room empty, the others having retreated to the comfort of the bedrooms- she crouched by an open window facing the courtyard and peered over the edge, cursing the spirits for the madnesses that inspired such actions. 

Zuko now stood in the courtyard with Jin. She could just barely hear their voices.

Jin was apologizing, “Sorry I had to leave you earlier. I was having fun hanging out with you, and I was hoping we could dance… But I got word from the palace about a family matter.”

“Oh,” Zuko said. “You don’t have to say sorry. Is everything okay with your family?”

“Yeah, everything’s fine.” The girl brushed the words away. “My mom works in the palace too, but there was some confusion about her shift. She was supposed to have the night off to take care of my little sister, and the man she swapped shifts with didn’t show, and so I had to send word on that we had already arranged everything and they needed to figure it out, and --I’m rambling. It’s not important. Logistical stuff.”

“You have a little sister?”

“I do.” Katara saw Jin smile. “What about you? Any siblings?”

Zuko caught his grimace before it became obvious to Jin, but Katara noticed. “I have a younger sister too... We have about the same age gap as Sokka and Katara.”

“Ah,” Jin nodded. “My sister is much younger. Just turned five.” Her head turned towards the lanterns in the trees, towards the lake and the waterfall, silence fell between the pair.

_ See, they’re just talking about their siblings. Nothing to be worried about,  _ Katara said to herself silently. Yet, she couldn’t tear herself away from the window. 

Jin spoke again, “I probably ought to be getting home to her...but the lights on the water are always so beautiful at night. I think it’s one of my favorite places in the whole city…”

“It is pretty,” Zuko agreed, turning to look in the direction of the lanterns. 

But the girl was no longer looking at the lake. She took a step closer to him. 

Katara found herself holding her breath. 

“Well, good night, Zuko.”

She leaned in to kiss the firebender’s cheek just as he turned to reply. Their lips brushed, the girl took this as a sign of encouragement and pressed slightly harder.

Katara felt her heartbeat in her stomach, felt something clawing desperately in her chest in place of it. She waited for Zuko to pull away in surprise, but instead his eyes slowly closed. He deepened the kiss, moving his head ever so slightly in reaction. 

Katara frantically shoved herself away from the window and marched to the bedroom. She did not reply when Toph and Suki asked her what was wrong. She ripped the flower from her hair and began to quickly change out of her fancy clothes, eager to throw herself under the blankets, eager for the emptiness of sleep. Anything to escape the wave of emotions threatening to overwhelm her…

***

Zuko hadn’t expected the kiss, but he also hadn’t fought it, because Jin was cute, and sweet, and funny, and he admired her directness --the way she fearlessly allowed her feelings to be known. He thought maybe he could stand to learn something from her approach. And he thought of Katara and Aang dancing, and the camellia in her hair, and he thought,  _ why are you torturing yourself wanting what you can’t have?  _

And so, for a moment, he had kissed her back, but in the back of his mind Katara stayed, and whether it was his own fault or the spirits to blame, he knew it wouldn’t be fair to Jin to keep kissing her when he wished she were someone else. He had stepped away, shaking his head in genuine apology. 

“What’s wrong?” Jin asked.

_ It’s complicated…  _

“It’s Katara, isn’t it?”

Zuko looked up from his feet in surprise.  _ Is it really so obvious? _

“That’s okay. I can see how important she is to you. Thanks anyways.” She smiled. “It was a nice kiss.”

“It was,” Zuko agreed softly. 

“For what it’s worth, I think sometimes all it takes is time for people to find each other. Maybe that’s all you two need, a little time… Good night, Zuko.”

“Good night...” 

He looked to the garden, studying the blue glow of lantern light on water for a moment, and hoped she was right. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am a simple person, I simply cannot resist a Toph/Zuko bonding scene. I wish we had gotten more of that in the show! Arguably my favorite part of this chapter. What was yours? Feel free to let me know in the comments! 
> 
> As always your support is super appreciated, and so sorry to end on a negative note, but I do need to issue a friendly reminder (due to some recent activity on previous chapter of this fic) that while I always look forward to your thoughts in the comments, what I am not looking for is critique. I write this in what little free-time I have between work and other life-stuff and if I'm posting it that means I've taken the time to read through a chapter a dozen times and determined that it's in a place where I'm happy with it. Does that mean it's perfect? HA, absolutely not! I'm sure there is always room for improvement, but if I was aiming for perfection I'd probably never end up posting. Trust me, if/when I reread I'm sure I will find MANY things I do not like and would change, but for now we're here and this is what I'm offering. If you don't like it, I apologize for disappointing, but I'd kindly just ask you keep those thoughts to yourself since it doesn't really help me with staying motivated. 
> 
> To be honest, I don't think the reader I am having this problem with will even reach this point in the story and it really doesn't pertain to many of you I see commenting now, but I felt the need to outline this clearly to set the boundaries for any future readers. Again, so sorry to even have to ramble about this, but honestly, it does hurt! There is a human behind this screen, and one who at times, can be very insecure about her writing (though she works on that every single day!). 
> 
> **TLDR: Do not poke the author, feed the author... Or just straight up ignore the author lol**
> 
> Sending best wishes to anyone who reads this, thank you for reading,  
> B (aka [zukos-calming-tea](https://zukos-calming-tea.tumblr.com) on tumblr)


	17. Chapter 17

When Katara first awoke she thought about pretending to be asleep --as one might on a cold morning in the South Pole when there were far too many chores to be done and far too little sunlight to fathom leaving behind the comfort of a nest of fur blankets. 

She thought about it longer than she cared to admit. Toph and Suki had already risen and dressed and she was still thinking about it as they left the room.

More specifically, she was thinking about Zuko. And Jin. And Zuko and Jin. And why her brain couldn’t stop thinking about _Zuko and Jin_ when it really shouldn’t have mattered at all. At least if she stayed in bed all day she wouldn’t have to face the firebender...

But her decision was made for her when Toph burst back in a few minutes later and nudged her with her foot insistently. “You need to get up. Now,” her tone was slightly frantic. 

Katara shot upright. “What’s wrong? What’s happened? Is it Azula? Are we too late?” She felt ashamed of her earlier mopiness. She was not in the South Pole. She was in Ba Sing Se --with the Avatar. She did not have the luxury of wasting time or energy on boy drama like a normal teenage-girl might, and her responsibilities were far greater than needing to help Gran Gran with the morning chores... 

Toph was shaking her head. “It’s not that. It’s Jet, he didn’t come home last night.”

Aang, Suki and Sokka were filing into the room. The airbender tried to comfort their distressed friend, “Toph, you heard Jin last night. She said the upper-ring was especially safe.”

“And the soldiers from the Outer Wall denied there’s a war happening at all. Forgive me if I don’t trust a citizen of Ba Sing Se to know anything,” Toph muttered. 

“Didn’t you say he saw a friend? Maybe he stayed with them for the night,” Suki offered.

Toph clenched her fists, aggravated. “He’s not stupid! He would’ve found a way to send us a message so we didn’t worry. I think something’s happened to him.”

“We shouldn’t panic,” Sokka said gently. “The Fire Nation isn’t here _yet,_ so the city isn’t actually dangerous at the moment…”

“What about, Zuko?” Katara asked, noticing his absence, wondering if he had ever come inside after his ‘conversation’ with Jin or if... “Where’s Zuko?” _Did he...not come home?_

“When we realized Jet wasn’t back yet he offered to go find Jin and see if she could help,” Aang explained. 

Katara shook her head against the scene from the night before that flashed immediately in her mind, determined to set aside her _stupid feelings_ about a _stupid boy_ and carry on with the more important matter at hand. “Toph has a point, I think Jet could’ve gotten in touch with us if he planned on being gone for this long.”

“Finally! Someone reasonable!”

“But...” Katara continued, “Sokka also has a point. What is there to worry about in Ba Sing Se until Azula shows up? Suki could be right too --he could still be with his friend, he might not have thought to send word.”

“Are you saying we shouldn’t go look for him?” Toph demanded.

Katara faltered. Toph didn’t know the Jet she had known; the one with all the anger and a violent streak. Katara was certain the boy had changed, but what she wasn’t certain of was if previous habits might return amongst his friends. She didn’t know how to tell Toph that the boy she had come to call a friend might also be selfish, hurtful and careless if he slipped back into his old ways. 

“I don’t think he’s in any danger.” 

It was Jin who spoke, entering the room followed closely by Zuko.

Katara pictured herself, still sitting on her mattress on the floor, her hair unbrushed and tangled from sleep --no doubt forming a nest at the top of her head. 

Though Zuko had undoubtedly seen her in far worse a state during their travels, she felt suddenly self conscious, hyper-aware that _Jin’s_ hair was neatly arranged in twin braids that framed her face perfectly and drew attention to her pleasantly rosy cheeks. 

She suddenly wanted very badly to be anywhere, but in the room with Zuko and the girl he had kissed. “You know what, Toph? You’re right, we _should_ go look for Jet. He’s probably fine, but let’s go find him anyways.” Her voice was a higher pitch than normal, her hands shaky as she reached for fresh clothes. 

Zuko’s eyes followed her hurried movements, which only flustered her more. 

Whether it was a fair reaction or not, Katara found herself resenting him for the effect he was having on her. She glared at him, realized the others might find that strange, and gave them a glare for good measure too. “Can you leave so I can change?” she snapped.

Even Toph, clearly excited to begin their search, seemed taken aback. “Sheesh, what’d you wake up on the wrong side of the bed, sweetness?” she muttered as she retreated from the room with the others. 

When the space was finally empty Katara drew a deep breath, desperate to regain her composure. She defaulted to her usual strategy: recalling that there was spirit energy inside of her, affecting her, making her irrationally upset…. By the time she was dressed and ready to rejoin the others, Katara had even managed to convince herself that all that mattered today was finding Jet --that she didn’t care at all that Zuko had kissed Jin. 

Of course, the moment she entered the main room and saw Zuko sitting beside the palace girl all of Katara’s carefully constructed layers of rationality disintegrated, vaporized like water over fire. 

All eyes in the room turned to her.

“What?” she growled. 

“You, uh --you kind of groaned just now, sis,” Sokka said, slowly sliding a bowl of porridge across the table as though he were offering the food to a leopard-wolf. “I think you should eat something before you head out.”

“Fine,” Katara agreed stiffly, facing the floor to hide the heat rising in her cheeks from embarrassment. _I’ve officially lost it,_ she thought to herself as she sat down and began quietly eating her breakfast. _I’m a waterbender from the South Pole with absolutely no chill._

She ate quickly, mindless to the conversation happening around her. It took most of her concentration to remember not to stare at Jin and Zuko and spiral into the void of all the questions she wanted to ask, the most significant of which was: _What did it mean? Zuko...what did it mean when you kissed her?_

Did it mean he had feelings for her? _Real_ non-spirit-related feelings? She wondered how he had managed to accomplish that…no one had ever had an effect on her the way Zuko did. 

_The way the spirits do,_ she corrected herself, half-heartedly. 

Whatever or whoever was responsible, the effect was brilliant, blinding. She saw no one else. She wasn’t sure she ever had...not like this. 

It was stupid and it hurt and she wished it would stop. She just wanted to feel _normal_ again. 

“Ready, Katara?” 

Katara nodded to Toph and rose to her feet. 

Zuko mirrored her movement.

Katara regarded him, apprehensively. “What are you doing?” 

He blinked. “I’m coming with you?” 

“Why?”

“Jin offered to take us to try and get an audience with the Earth King, but Zuko said he’d go with you and Toph,” Sokka explained.

“You’re sure you don’t want to go with _them_?” Katara asked the firebender, shooting a brief, but pointed look in Jin’s direction.

He gave a confused frown and opened his mouth to reply.

But Toph spoke first, “I for one will never complain about another set of eyes. Now c’mon --we’ve wasted enough time.”

Katara couldn’t help but think they could have spared just a few seconds more --so she could have heard whatever Zuko had been about to say...

***

Aang had suggested they take Appa to aid them in their search, but Toph had not even bothered to honor the thought with a proper reply, merely stomped her foot significantly on the ground, rolled her cloudy eyes, and walked away. 

The earthbender was in a mood, but Zuko did not take it personally, she was clearly just concerned for Jet. 

Katara was also in a mood, Zuko _did_ take that personally, and it seemed he was meant to. As they walked the streets of Ba Sing Se she barely spoke and when she did it was to say something to Toph. He racked his brain for an answer, but Zuko could not fathom what he had done to make her so _angry._

‘ _S_ _ometimes all it takes is time for people to find each other.’_ The night before, Zuko had stayed awake long after he had crawled into bed, staring through the ceiling more than at it, and hearing Jin’s words echo in his mind again and again, but not in her voice… Instead he had heard them in his uncle’s. 

Iroh had always had a lot to say about people and their emotions. Though none of his musings had ever made much sense to Zuko, patience had been a theme in many of them, and he suspected his uncle would have urged him to have it with Katara today even if he couldn’t figure out what was upsetting her. 

_Maybe another day will be enough time,_ Zuko thought, glancing in the waterbender’s direction, only to find her eyes were already upon him, searching --for what he didn’t know. Why didn’t she just ask him whatever was on her mind? Had the revelation about the spirit fragments really driven her so far away? 

She noticed him looking back and the curiosity in her gaze vanished, replaced by an usual sharpness. She turned away, scowling. 

Zuko amended his earlier thought on timing, _maybe another two or three days…_ Had it really only been that long since they had stood in Wan Shi Tong’s study? The cold, awkwardness that had built up between himself and Katara made it seem much longer, and perhaps that was why he was becoming so desperate to ignore the spirits altogether and pretend they had never spoken with the owl spirit. All the news had done was cause pain where there had once been comfort and happiness. 

At least time was passing quickly for the moment, the sun already high in the sky as they continued their careful patrol of the upper-ring. It illuminated remnants of the night before; gold glitter sparkling on the cobblestones, a yellow banner lifted lazily by the wind from the perch of a clothes line, bits of fallen food being swept up quickly from the stoops of the storefronts by a hungover shopkeeper. Signs of the festival were everywhere, but signs of where Jet might be had yet to reveal themselves. 

Zuko was about to suggest they start asking some of the nearby businesses if they had seen a boy matching Jet’s description, eyeing a busy tea house in particular, when a voice called out behind them. 

“Katara!” 

The waterbender turned, confused at first, until she saw the person racing towards them, face painted with red streaks and relief. “Smellerbee?”

Zuko recalled stories he’d heard featuring other odd names like Pipsqueak and The Duke. _This has to be Jet’s friend._

Katara gestured to the short, armored figure joining them and confirmed Zuko’s earlier assumption, “This is Smellerbee. She’s one of Jet’s Freedom Fighters.”

The girl nodded her head in brief acknowledgement before turning eagerly to Katara. “I’m glad I found you.”

“We were about to say the same thing,” Katara said.

The rebel’s brow crinkled with concern. “Why’s that?”

“We’ve been looking for Jet all morning…”

Smellerbee’s face fell. “You mean...he’s not with you either?” 

Worry began to creep across Katara’s face as she shook her head and Smellerbee let out a heavy sigh. 

“I was so relieved to see him last night --alive and well, after all this time. He mentioned he was traveling with you all and the Avatar --and an ashmaker too,” she nodded her head towards Zuko who winced slightly in acknowledgement of the term. “I didn’t want to separate, but he told me he had to let you guys know where he’d be or you might get worried... Except then he never came back to meet me. I waited all night, and then this morning I came back here to the upper-ring to see if maybe he just fell asleep where you all are staying or something, but there’s no sign of him… He’s gone…” The girl’s voice broke and she scrubbed angrily at the tears that had begun to roll down her cheeks, “just like Longshot.”

“What happened to Longshot?” Katara asked uneasily.

“We came here looking for Jet. Before our last mission --the one that caused us to get separated- he had been talking about making a trip to the city to recruit more Freedom Fighters, so we thought, maybe, just maybe, he had come here. To be honest, we weren’t all that hopeful, but we couldn’t just _give up_. When we got here we started asking around, seeing if anyone had encountered anyone that looked like Jet, anyone asking for help with a rebellion… One night we split up to search, and I was just heading back to our hideout when I saw these people in uniform taking Longshot away.”

“We would’ve been outnumbered if I tried to rescue him, so I couldn’t approach headon, but I wish I had. I hung back, following them for a distance, but I lost them… They turned a corner and vanished into thin air. I’m a really good tracker, but I’ve been searching high and low for him and I still have no idea where he could be. Jet was going to help me find Longshot, but now he’s disappeared too... I should’ve been there, we should never have split up...” Smellerbee hung her head, defeated. “I failed them.”

Katara placed a hand on the girl’s shoulder. “You didn’t,” she told her. “This was out of your control.”

 _The same people who took Longshot must have taken Jet,_ Zuko reasoned. Though, who they might be was less clear… The uniforms implied the potential of soldiers or palace workers, but what crimes had Longshot or Jet committed that would be reason enough to steal them away? Jet hadn’t even been in the city for much more than a day...

Toph pressed her hand to her chin, deep in thought. “Could you take us to where you lost sight of your friend?”

“I’ve been back every day since they took him, but there’s nothing there,” Smellerbee insisted.

“Nothing that you can _see,_ ” Toph replied. “But this is the earth kingdom.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Katara asked.

“I’ll show you when we get there.” 

The mood was grim as Smellerbee led them into the lower-rings. None of the opulence of upper Ba Sing Se had managed to squeeze between the dividing walls to reach this section of the enormous city. Zuko noticed several times when Smellerbee’s path took them away from the blocks of certain streets. Areas that were dark, ominous, and seemingly abandoned, but that left Zuko with the impression of danger. 

It wasn’t all bad, there were families here too. Running businesses together, exchanging conversations with a neighbor, kids playing, parents laughing... 

Their joy was in tragic contrast to the appearances of other groups. Those with little clothing on their backs and small bags of belongings in their hands. People who had sad eyes and a broken, defeated nature to their postures. A mother was at a stall begging for whatever food a single coin could afford her, saying her child needed something to eat. A man looked hopeless as he attempted to sell what was clearly a family heirloom. 

“Refugees,” Smellerbee commented, when she noticed Zuko watching. “They’ve lost everything to the Fire Nation... The Kyoshi warriors have been here helping escort them into the city, but even once they’re here within the walls it’s not much better. What good does it do to be in Ba Sing Se with nothing? And when the Earth King won’t provide you with any help?” She shook her head sadly and kept moving.

Zuko trailed slightly, unable to look away from the innocent people whose lives his family had ruined. _How do I make_ this _right?_ he wondered. He supposed he’d have to come to terms with the fact that some wounds might never heal despite all his efforts...but he had to try. 

“Zuko? Are you coming?” 

It was Katara, watching him, a gentler expression to her voice and on her face than he had seen from her all day. He trotted to catch up to her and the others.

“You okay?” she asked as they continued walking, her eyes fixed on the horizon once more.

He wanted to ask her why she refused to look at him, but he also didn’t want to disrupt the tentative ease he sensed between them. Instead, he answered her truthfully, “It can just be overwhelming sometimes, to think about all the damage my family has done. I know I won’t ever be able to fix everything... Sometimes I don’t even know where I’ll begin if I finally get the chance.”

Katara hummed in response, a low, thoughtful sound. “You _will_ get the chance,” she said, her confidence in Aang unshakeable as ever, “And you won’t have to do it alone. It actually _shouldn’t_ be all up to you to decide what the best way to make things right is. If you’re going to try and apologize on behalf of the Fire Nation you’re going to need to listen to the voices of the people the Fire Nation has hurt, and let them tell you what they need to heal.” She did turn to him now, to be sure he’d heard her clearly.

He nodded, both at her serious expression and the significance of her words. “Thank you, Katara,” he told her, knowing that her thoughts on the matter were a generous gift. After all, she was one of the people whom the Fire Nation would never be able to truly make amends with --someone who had lost the irreplaceable, a loved one. 

She didn’t respond, just stared at him for a moment like she might say something more, before looking away again.

Zuko followed her gaze to where Toph and Smellerbee had stopped in an alley not far ahead. The earthbender was crouched, a palm pressed to the ground beneath her feet and an intent furrow to her brow. “Looks like we’re here.”

“What are you doing?” Smellerbee was asking Toph, seeming mildly annoyed in her anxiousness.

“Sh, I need to concentrate.” 

“But I told you there’s no-”

“Nothing here, got it,” Toph muttered, ignoring the fighter and closing her eyes. 

For a moment there was nothing but the sounds of the city, then Toph stood with a confident smirk, slapped her foot against the hard earth, and bent a large hole directly in front of her. 

Zuko leaned over the hole alongside Katara and Smellerbee, blinking into an inky abyss. 

“There’s a tunnel,” Toph explained. “I doubt Longshot and Jet are the only people who have been captured by these weirdos in uniforms. They must use these to get people out of the city without drawing attention to themselves."

“How...how did you know to look for it?” Smellerbee asked, astounded.

Toph shrugged. “It’s actually more common than you’d think in Earth Kingdom cities. I made a network for myself back home to get to and from Earth Rumble tournaments at the arena.”

“Something only an earthbender would know to look for,” Katara said, clearly meaning to make Smellerbee feel better.

“A _blind_ earthbender who sees with her feet especially,” Toph added with a smile.

“Thank you,” Smellerbee told them, still staring into the darkness. “Can you tell if they’re down there?” 

“If they are it’s out of range for me to sense,” Toph said. “But we’ll find them. Come on.” The earthbender jumped fearlessly into the hole. There was the sound of earth being bent to catch her as she fell, then an echoing voice from below as she shouted, “Drop down! I’ll help you with the landing.”

Smellerbee went first, disappearing into the earth. Zuko approached next, standing on the opposite side of the opening from Katara. 

They leapt at the same time, sliding through black for only a second before they landed nimbly on a rock Toph bent towards them.

Just when Zuko felt steady enough to look around at the crystal-lit tunnel, the earth shifted beneath his feet, sending him stumbling towards Katara, who had suspiciously also lost her footing. They collided chest to chest, noses nearly touching and Zuko was certain she could feel the hammering of his heart beneath her palms which she had pressed against his chest to catch herself. 

For a moment Katara’s eyes fixed on his, her fingers curling in the fabric of his shirt. Was it his imagination or did she lean into the touch?

All too soon she remembered herself and pulled away, inhaling sharply, in the way that people do when they’ve burnt their fingers, or touched something very sharp. “Which way do we go?” 

Toph’s unapologetic smirk reminded Zuko that the _earth_ rarely shifted on its own.

‘ _Don’t you know you’re only making this situation more difficult?’_ Zuko wished the earthbender could see the exasperated glance he threw her way, but he also suspected if she could it would only feed the earthbender’s smugness. 

Smellerbee had noticed none of the awkward situation, busy as she was glancing around the tunnel, but she looked back expectantly, awaiting Toph’s reply to Katara’s question. 

“Away from the city I’m guessing,” Toph replied, pointing. 

Zuko did not use his bending to light their way, cautious of drawing the attention of any other visitors the tunnel might have. In any case, there was plenty of phosphorescent light to see by from the crystals that lined the walls every few feet, reminding Zuko of the Spirit Library. He shuddered at the thought of Wan Shi Tong emerging from the shadows. 

There was no natural light by which to tell how long they trekked, but Zuko estimated they had covered enough distance to take them well outside the city by the time water began to drip from the ceiling, falling through the back of his shirt and sending shivers down his spine. 

Both Katara and Toph seemed unsurprised by the development. 

“We’re passing beneath a large collection of water,” Katara told them. 

“And there’s a series of caves up ahead,” Toph added. “Some of them are occupied… We need to be as quiet as possible.”

Sure enough, the tunnel evolved into a corridor of sorts, lined with heavy, metal doors. It was empty, for now, but Zuko held his breath as he tried to make out the faint words of echoing voices. _‘I’m Joo Dee. Welcome to Ba Sing Se.’_

He could tell by the disturbed look on Katara’s face that she had heard this as well. She turned to say something, but Toph spoke first, “There’s a room a few doors down with a prisoner inside…It feels like it could be Jet!”

Smellerbee’s eyes widened. “Longshot too?” 

“It does seem like there are two people in there, but I’ve never met your friend, so I can’t say I’d recognize if it is him.” 

Toph guided them to the right door. 

It was locked, but there was a small gap in the metal, a window of sorts. Zuko covertly peered through it.

A tall man in a large, wide-brimmed hat stood in the center of the room with his back to them. Around him was a circular track upon which a lantern was gliding, its speed increasing steadily. The man began saying something in a slow, even voice. 

Even from a distance Zuko found something about it...mesmerizing…

“Zuko!” Toph hissed. “What do you see?”

He blinked and looked away from the lantern, slightly confused in a way that unnerved him. “Right, uh. I see a man…” Zuko squinted and waited for the lantern to drift towards the back of the room again. In the split second of light he could just make out another person’s armored shoulder. He recognized the style. “And I think Jet’s in there too.”

Toph wasted no time smashing a hole through the wall and ducking through it, Katara just behind her.

Zuko quickly followed, but by the time he had entered the room Katara was already winding water around the hat man’s feet and Toph was bending the man’s attacks away from her, shielding her while she swiftly encased their enemy in ice up to his neck. 

Zuko stood by, feeling rather useless, but impressed.

“Jet!” 

Zuko turned to see the Freedom Fighter seated at the center of the room, Smellerbee rushing towards him as Toph undid the restraints that held him in place.

Jet smiled as Smellerbee embraced him, but remained eerily silent as he turned to face the rest of them.

His eyes settled on Zuko, a darkness in them that had not been there before. 

“Who are these people, Jet?” Smellerbee asked, gesturing to the frozen guard. 

Jet leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees, eyes to the floor, a dangerous energy humming around him. He seemed prepared at a moment’s notice to hurl himself out of the chair. “They called themselves the Dai Li.”

Katara was examining the track and lantern. “What did they want with you?” 

“They’re trying to keep news of the war from spreading in Ba Sing Se.” 

“So what? They were just going to keep you and anyone else talking about it down here forever?” Toph wondered.

“No…” Zuko glanced at the guard, remarkably silent, his face shielded by his hat. “I couldn’t hear what the Dai Li was saying, but even then, the lantern. It was strange. It made me feel...blank. I forgot why we were even here.”

A nervous silence descended on the group at the unspoken suggestion. _Brainwashed._ Suddenly Joo Dee’s strange mannerisms made more sense to Zuko, as did their delay in getting an audience with the Earth King. 

A voice cut through the quiet, dagger-sharp and dripping with contempt. “There’s another thing the Dai Li wanted from me specifically --to ask me about the firebender traveling with the Avatar…” ” Jet lifted his head to glare at Zuko. “According to the Dai Li, he’s the prince of the Fire Nation.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Psh teenagers am I right? (I have to admit I had a lot of fun writing the first part of this chapter despite it reminding me of a lot of bad teenage memories -I was always incredibly angsty when I had a crush, very cringe.)  
> The rest of it I'm feeling a bit less confident about so I hope you're still with me! This chapter was kind of a pain to write and also to edit, but the good news is the next chapter is already written and in progress with edits so I think we're looking at an early update and without saying too much I am also very excited to get working on the one after that...  
> Last thing: thank you all so much for your comments last week! They really lifted my spirits and kept me sticking to the schedule for this week/put me ahead of schedule for the next chapter and I cannot express my appreciation enough for the extra motivation :')  
> So yeah, if you're enjoying the story lemme know. If you think someone else might enjoy it, maybe let them know?  
> And if you just want to say hi and enjoy some fun ATLA content I'm on tumblr at [zukos-calming-tea](https://zukos-calming-tea.tumblr.com/)  
> Sending you (yes, you ✨) best wishes,  
> B


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this is the longest chapter yet, so this would be a good spot to get up, stretch, get some water etc. ;)
> 
> A few more additional ramblings: 
> 
> 1\. (What a monster to edit, it really just wanted to keep growing every time I reread, but whew I managed to sneak in an early update as I hinted at last week, hope you like it and thank you for the continued support <3)
> 
> 2\. I added a note to the first chapter of this fic earlier this week, but for those who have been here for awhile I wanted to give another quick shout out to the amazing conflictedmind who I commissioned to do a scene from the very beginning of this story. I've never had art for one of my fics before so I am super excited. Artwork can be found [ here ](https://conflictedmind.tumblr.com/post/643861086711447552/hey-yall-here-is-a-commission-for-the-lovely)

“The prince? You said you were traveling with a firebender, but  _ the prince _ ?” Smellerbee regarded Zuko uncomfortably. 

“I didn’t know. I thought he was just another ashmaker,” Jet told her, shaking his head slowly. “This whole time --even after I helped him fight off these Fire Nation girls… Your sister’s friends,” he spoke to Zuko directly now. “Even then, the way you all talked about her. I just assumed she was some soldier or captain or whatever. But she isn’t is she? This.  _ Whole. Time.  _ I thought that you were a deserter maybe. That you had gotten out, but your sister, and the girl with the knives, and the other one with the fancy flips wouldn’t come with you. I thought, ‘Poor guy, doing the right thing, even if it’s the hard thing. You can’t convince everyone.’ I know how that feels... So, when you dodged my questions, I let it be… I didn’t push it. But you’re not  _ just another ashmaker,  _ are you? The Dai Li had it right.  _ You’re the Prince of the Fire Nation. _ ” 

The boy spoke with such venom that Katara couldn’t help, but reach for the water at her side and step warily closer to Zuko. 

A profound regret was tearing across his face, manifesting in his posture and voice, “I was going to--”

“You were going to what? Tell me eventually?” Jet spat. “ _ When?  _ When were you going to tell me? When were you going to tell me your family is responsible for the deaths of mine --that your father is the reason my entire village was burned to the ground!”

“His  _ father, _ ” Katara jumped in, unflinching when Jet turned his blistering gaze to her. “Not him. He’s traveling with us for a reason. He’s teaching Aang to firebend. He’s helping--”

“How can you say that?!” Jet shouted, and Toph winced and pressed her hand to the wall to feel for any enemies approaching. “You’ve lost family to the Fire Nation too... Katara,” he pleaded, “don’t you hear how crazy you sound?” 

“You’re not guiltless either,” she snapped. “And don’t you dare call me  _ crazy _ . You don’t think I thought this through? You think I accepted him into our group without a second thought? Of course I didn’t. It was Aang’s idea, not mine. I looked at him and saw the face of the enemy...the face that killed my mother and took my father away from home… But, that’s not what I see anymore. People can change, Jet. You have --and Zuko has too.” She turned to meet the firebender’s eyes.

“Couldn’t have anything to do with the spirit stuff the giant owl mentioned, right?” Jet muttered darkly.

Katara balled her hand into a tight fist to prevent herself from unfreezing the Dai Li agent and using the ice on Jet instead. “What was that?” she asked, in a dangerously tight tone. 

Smellerbee, looking extremely confused, placed a hand on her friend’s shoulder, “Jet, whatever you’re saying you don’t mean it. They helped me to find you, don’t be a jerk. Besides, we shouldn’t waste time fighting each other, we still have to find Longshot and get out of here.” 

“Longshot’s here too?” Jet’s angry tone slipped for a moment to one of concern.

“Yes! That’s what I’m saying. We need to move,” Smellerbee said.

“I’m not going anywhere with  _ him _ ,” Jet growled, glaring at Zuko. 

“Suit yourself,” Toph shrugged and gestured to the Dai Li guard. “You can keep him company.” She began walking towards the hole she had created that led back to the hallway, and Smellerbee slowly trailed behind, glancing at Jet over her shoulder to see if he would follow.

The Freedom Fighter scowled and shoved past Zuko and Katara.

They were left alone with the stuttering lantern light and eerie silence of the frozen Dai Li agent. 

“Well, I probably should have expected that,” Zuko stated in a hollow voice. 

“I don’t know… I think it could have gone a lot worse,” Katara replied. “Did you notice the Dai Li hadn’t taken his weapons? Old Jet would have tried to kill you.”

“There’s still time,” Zuko said distractedly, his eyes scanning the room and settling on the silent Dai Li. “Do you think he knows where Longshot is?”

“He’s an earthbender, Toph wouldn’t be able to use her usual tricks on him. He could just bend the rock away, it’s too risky, we can’t afford to have him get loose.”

“What if  _ you _ asked him?”

“Last I checked, I’m not a lie-detecting earthbender. Come on, Toph and the others are waiting…” Katara moved for the exit, but Zuko’s hand closed over hers. She froze, suddenly returned to the dusty study of a grumpy, owl librarian…the last time he had held her hand.

“Katara.”   


His voice pulled her back to the present. She shook her head and looked up at him confused. “Zuko, what are you saying? It doesn’t do any good for  _ me  _ to ask about Longshot.”

“You could…” He hesitated, searching for the right words, treading carefully. “What if you used the bending Hama taught you? To sense his reactions… With the right questions we might be able to...”

“Absolutely not.” Katara pulled her hand away. 

“Katara, this place is a maze. We might never find their friend if we don’t know where to look. It’s worth a try.” He looked at the opening and Katara followed his eyes to where Toph was whispering angrily at Jet and pointing down the corridor. When he turned away it was to hold her eyes with his own, steady and reassuring. “You can use that power for good, I know it --and I know Hama would think so too. Besides, you don’t have to bend anything, just feel for changes like Toph does. And I won’t go anywhere, I’ll stay here with you the whole time.”

_ That’s the problem…  _ Katara wanted to say, recalling the last time she had used her bloodbending abilities with a shudder, but he was right about the place being a maze. And time was likely to run out any second. “Fine, I’ll try.”

She marched up to the Dai Li agent with more confidence than she felt and slowly extended her hand towards the ice encasing the man. Goosebumps erupted on her arm as she rested her palm against the ice’s surface, though perhaps more from nerves than cold. She drew a deep breath in and shut her eyes. 

At first when she tried to focus on the water around her, her attention was drawn immediately to a particular source in the room --that of the water in Zuko’s blood, the blood containing spirit essence. 

She refused to make that mistake again. With her mind she nudged the draw of the spirits away insistently, and instead, concentrated on the ice in front of her and the distant humming of blood within the body beneath it. 

It was extremely difficult to maintain, since her awareness of Zuko was more of a song than a hum, a vibrant, enchanting melody that the spirit energy in her instinctively longed to harmonize with. “You’ll need to ask the questions,” she told Zuko through gritted teeth, eyes still closed, determined not to let her grasp on the delicate network of ice, and blood slip. 

“We’re looking for a friend of ours,” Katara heard Zuko say, distantly, as though calling from far away --a faint echo compared to the rushing sense of her element beneath her hand. “He was traveling with the girl with the paint on her face, and he was searching for another friend of theirs that was missing --the one you tried to brainwash just now. He was trying to recruit fighters for their rebellion. He goes by Longshot… You know him don’t you? You know who I’m talking about.” 

Zuko had to have seen something on the man’s face, because Katara felt no change. Unless she missed it.  _ Maybe I can’t do this. Maybe we’re just wasting time...  _ A wave of frustration threatened to topple her efforts. Katara swam deeper into her meditative state, pouring every ounce of her energy into the careful balance of holding her awareness of element without manipulating it. It felt like holding a fragile creature in her mind, she could feel every heartbeat, but at any moment it might fly away…

“Is he here?”

“I will not betray the secrets of the Dai Li,” the man said in a flat voice, as though reading from a book. 

But Katara felt the faintest of flutters. She gave a nod to indicate to Zuko there had been a reaction.

“Are they close?”

The slightest change in the rhythm of the notes she was tuned into. She nodded again.

“Where are you keeping him?” Zuko demanded. 

Silence from the man. 

“Is he nearby?”

A nervous stutter in the drumming of the man’s heart. “I will not betray the secrets of the Dai Li,” he said again.

“He’s just a  _ kid,  _ the Dai Li don’t need him _ \-- _ tell us where he is.”

Katara could hear the frustration in Zuko’s voice, the resentment, and she felt it building within herself too. She willed the water near the man’s neck to form dagger-sharp icicles. They inched slowly closer to his skin. 

Katara felt the man’s heart begin to hammer. “I will not be-” He was cut off abruptly by the sharp tip of the ice pricking his skin. Katara stopped the movement of the icicles, but she felt a single bead of blood appear and slowly slide down the man’s neck.

_ A kid. He’s just a kid. We’re all just kids. Trying to do what we can for this world, after losing so much, sacrificing so much,  _ it made her angry, so angry. The ice pressed tighter around the man.

A hand on her shoulder and Katara opened her eyes to see Zuko staring at her with open concern. “Are you--”

“Go left down the hallway until you reach a large cave. Pass through it and there will be another tunnel on the other side. From there you go right and you’ll reach the cells where we keep prisoners.” 

The man was clearly speaking out of fear, his eyes wide, and his blood racing, but somehow, Katara sensed his words were also the truth, because once the man had said his piece the pattern of the blood’s movements settled somewhat. He had no more information to give on the matter. 

“Please, let me go…” the Dai Li’s calm mannerisms had disappeared. Now he was an ordinary man, caught up in the mess just as much as they were.

And Katara felt a twinge of regret for threatening him. She turned to Zuko. “Okay, we’ve got what we need.”

He studied her face for a moment, still seeming worried, but didn’t say anything, only nodded and followed her as she marched out of the room.

The corridor was empty, but in the distance Katara could hear the scraping of feet against rock. 

“What took you so long?” Jet muttered. 

“We were finding out where Longshot is,” Zuko informed him.

Jet snorted incredulously, “Sure, like that guy was going to tell you anything.”

“Toph’s not the only one who can tell when people are lying.” Katara didn’t elaborate further, not yet ready to have the conversation about bloodbending with her friends, and especially not now. 

“Good for you, Sweetness, welcome to the club,” Toph said. “So, which way?”

Katara pointed and began walking further into the tunnels. 

The Dai Li guard had been telling the truth, they soon emerged into a large cavern, its ceiling high and dripping with stalactites, their footsteps echoing eerily against the stone walls.

They were halfway through when Toph suddenly spun to face the direction they had come from. “What are  _ you  _ doing here?”

Katara drew water from her pouch as she turned to look behind. Out of the corner of her eye she saw the glow of fire in Zuko’s palm. 

Joo Dee held Longshot close to her side, a tight, too-big smile on her face. “We’ve been looking for you,” she told them cheerfully. 

“I’ll bet you have,” Toph muttered.

“I think you have officially outstayed your welcome in Ba Sing Se. Leave now and I’ll drop all charges against you --I’ll even let you bring your friend here with you.”

“You’re kidnapping and  _ brainwashing _ innocent people,” Katara exclaimed.  _ And having some of them serve you under your own name…  _ It was beyond twisted and how perfectly Joo Dee had played the role of innocent tour guide, keeping them at a safe distance the entire time. “Now that we know we’re going to tell the Earth King. He’ll have you lunatics locked away where you can’t hide the truth from the citizens of this city anymore!”

Joo Dee’s smile dropped, and her eyes narrowed sinisterly, for the first time Katara felt like she was looking at the woman’s true self. “You have made yourselves enemies of the state,” she told them. 

“We don’t care,” Smellerbee spat, stepping forward, a dagger in hand. “We’ll be taking Longshot and leaving now.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure if I were you,” Joo Doo replied, then shouted to the air above her, “Take them into custody!” 

Some of the stalactites on the ceiling fell away, taking the shape of Dai Li agents. 

The cave erupted into motion, columns of rock shooting up from the floor, stone hands flying through the air. 

“Longshot!” Jet called, swinging his fu tao to ward away a Dai Li agent as he raced towards his friend.

The boy shoved Joo Dee aside and began sprinting towards their group.

Toph pulverized the rock that an earthbending Dai Li sent after him.

Katara found herself back to back with Zuko, circling in a strange dance, their elements moving together seamlessly, exchanging the role of offense and defense as they fended off the enemies that swarmed closer and closer. They fell into a rhythm that was as natural as breathing. If it was the spirits that made her so in tune with his movements, perhaps they had finally found a positive to their situation...

At last, Longshot and Jet made it across the cavern floor. 

Katara eyed the exit.  _ If we can just make it to that door maybe we can lose them in the tunnels… _ “This way!” she shouted to the others, moving for the opening.

They slipped through and Toph slid earth up behind them to block the pursuit of the Dai Li agents, Katara added a thick layer of ice for good measure, knowing it would likely not hold the earthbenders for long. 

“Hurry!” Smellerbee shouted, already sprinting ahead, Longshot and Jet at her side.

They were rounding a bend when Toph called out a warning, “Up ahead!” 

Katara collected water from her flask, hearing only now what Toph had already sensed: the drumming of feet, sprinting to meet them. 

Fortunately, it was only three agents, of which Toph, Katara, Zuko, made short work. When a fourth dropped from the ceiling out of nowhere, Longshot took a knife from Smellerbee without so much as a blink and hit his target easily. 

They didn’t even have to stop running. 

“We might be able to lose them if we surface beneath the water,” Toph suggested. 

“Got it,” Katara replied, understanding the earthbender’s intentions.

“Here’s a good spot.” The earthbender slid to a stop and planted her feet and Katara prepared to bend the water away from them as Toph bent the ground beneath them into a small floating platform, grunting from the effort of lifting it and simultaneously bending an opening in the ceiling through which they shot. 

They emerged in the murky water of a lake, perfectly dry thanks to the bubble Katara had created. As quickly as possible she and Toph combined their efforts to bend their way to the shore as Longshot, Jet, Smellerbee, and Zuko looked on in astonishment. 

But when they broke through the surface there luck had not yet turned. Dai Li agents were already swarming the area, emerging from a nearby tunnel, Joo Dee in front of them, glaring in their direction, shouting, “Enough! You’ve had your chance… Longshot, the Earth King has invited you to Lake Laogai.”

Katara watched as the boy straightened, his eyes going blank. He bowed slightly, “I am honored to accept his invitation.”

Joo Dee looked pleased with herself, even from several yards away. “Longshot, these children are enemies of the Earth King.”

The boy reached for the quiver of arrows at his back and notched one, taking aim directly at Jet.

“Longshot, what are you doing? It’s me.” Jet was so shocked he did not raise a hand in defense.

Katara could hardly believe it herself, she stared, waiting for Longshot to shift his bow to point at Joo Dee or the Dai Li, but instead he only drew his arm back further.

The arrow flew through the air, almost in slow-motion. Distantly Katara heard Smellerbee’s alarmed scream, Toph’s shout… She wanted to close her eyes. She didn’t want to see the arrow rip through Jet, she didn’t want to watch him crumple to the ground…

And she didn’t have to, because Zuko stepped between Jet and the arrow and with a burst of flame turned it to ash, that drifted harmlessly away. 

But they were not out of the woods yet, already Longshot had another arrow notched and ready to fire.

Smellerbee marched towards him and pulled at his side, spinning him around to face her, causing Katara’s heart to skip several beats as her fear now turned to this arrow finding its mark in  _ Smellerbee’s _ chest. 

Instead, Longshot’s eyes met the girl’s and his hands began to shake. Sweat beading on his forehead, he slowly began to lower his weapon.

“Do your duty, Longshot!” Joo Dee demanded. 

“She can’t make you do this!” Smellerbee told Longshot, grabbing his hand with her own before he could raise his bow again. “Please, you’re my best friend. You’re a  _ Freedom Fighter _ .”

Longshot lowered his bow and shook his head in horror, fighting the call of his brainwashing.

“Do it! Do it now!” Joo Dee roared at him. 

Longshot spun and let loose an arrow in her direction, which missed its mark only barely when a Dai Li agent displaced it with a rock. It still managed to rip the sleeve of Joo Dee’s robe. 

She fingered the tattered green cloth for a moment with none of her usual composure. When she raised her eyes to them again they burned with the fierce hatred of someone used to getting their way. “Get them!” she commanded the Dai Li agents beside her, and they began running along the cliffs towards their group. 

Katara gathered water from the lake and formed it into a massive wave, which, with an easy sway of her arms, she sent towards the approaching Dai Li agents, some of whom were caught by surprise and knocked off their feet. 

Others escaped the attack and continued in their pursuit. 

“Where to next?” Zuko asked, looking around.

The lake was nestled in a small crater. There appeared to be no sign of the city for miles, but there was the faint, grinding sound of one of the stone trolleys Katara had seen gliding through the rings. 

“Over here!” she shouted, hoping she had guessed the direction of the noise correctly. 

They crested the ridge of the crater, gasping for air, legs screaming from the steep incline, and Katara smiled with relief at the sight of the station, not far, with a trolley pulling into the stop. 

Her relief was short-lived when a rock hurtled past her, thrown by the Dai Li agents still hot on their heels, and ruined further by the melodic voice that carried across the expanse between them and the station saying, “Departing in 2 minutes, next stop upper-ring.”

Jet swore. 

“Don’t waste your breath,” Toph scolded. “Hurry, hurry!” She started to run again, bending earth beneath her feet to aid her. 

Katara willed her long legs to stretch further, to move faster. Her lungs complained from the effort, sweat streamed down her face and into her eyes. 

By the fortune of the spirits they reached the station and Toph raised them to the level of the platform.

The doors were just beginning to close as they threw themselves onto the trolley, collapsing in a heap of tangled limbs and heavy breathing. 

“Now leaving, Lake Laogai. Next step, Upper Ring.” The voice sounded disturbingly like Joo Dee.

Katara untangled herself hurriedly and rushed to the window, but the Dai Li had vanished, and the trolley was now gliding steadily in the direction of the city. 

When she turned away from the window the others were slowly rising --and a dozen sets of eyes were fixed upon herself and her friends. 

Their trolley-car companions seemed more judgemental than anything. No one called for help, but one woman lifted her nose in the air, as though to avoid a bad smell. 

Katara rolled her eyes and wiped sweat from her face.

“That...was...close,” gasped Smellerbee, throwing herself into the nearest seat.

“Why didn’t they follow us? They could have made it onto the train…” Zuko asked quietly, also sounding winded.

“It’s not over yet. They have the tunnels. They’ll meet us in the palace --I’m sure of it,” Toph said.

“So what? They can’t stop us,” Katara said. “We’ll tell the Earth King the truth. Sokka, Suki, and Aang are all already there. He’ll  _ have  _ to listen.”

“If he’s not in on it.”

“Not helpful, Zuko,” Katara growled, feeling overwhelmed and nervous and impatient and wishing they had Appa to make their journey to the palace faster. 

“Well, we can hope…” Longshot added softly.

The trolley rolled onward, drawing closer and closer to the upper-ring, and Katara tried to cling to Longshot’s words. 

_ We  _ can  _ hope,  _ she told herself, but everything in Ba Sing Se seemed so backwards. Absurd amounts of wealth for some while others struggled to survive. Festivals for a bear while beyond the walls an enemy approached. Brainwashing of citizens while others in the Earth Kingdom were at war with the Fire Nation... Being jealous of a kiss between Zuko and Jin, despite knowing that her feelings for him were just caused by the spirits --and that knowledge somehow only making her feel worse…  _ Thinking about a boy when you should be focused on the conspiracy controlling an entire kingdom!  _ Katara admonished herself, scowling.

The trolley pulled into the last station. Below Katara could see the streets they had walked that morning while searching for Jet, now filled with people walking home after a day’s work.  _ They really have no idea,  _ she thought.  _ No idea what’s happening outside these walls.  _ And even if they did, they couldn’t talk about it without risking being captured by the same people that had taken Jet and Longshot. 

They made their way to the palace quickly. Every person in a hat and green clothing made Katara jumpy, anxious that at any moment the Dai Li would appear to tear them away. Luckily, they made it into the palace with oddly no more trouble. 

It seemed too good to be true to Katara, when they stumbled into the throne room waiting area and she spotted Aang, Sokka, and Suki seated amongst Ba Sing Se citizens --with no idea they might be waiting forever to meet their King. 

Aang’s face lit up when he saw her. “You found, Jet --and Smellerbee and Longshot!” he said, a relieved smile on his face. “We were beginning to worry.”

“You’re  _ still  _ waiting for an audience?” Katara asked.

“Jin spoke to Joo Dee for us, but then she had to see to her work. We tried to call for Joo Dee a few times to see about hurrying it up, but, no luck.” Sokka frowned.

“You’re being blown off,” Toph commented. “Not surprising considering what we found today.”

“Uh, yeah, I wasn’t going to say anything, but you look a bit… messy?” Suki offered.

Katara looked carefully around the room to be sure no one was paying attention to their group, then explained, in a low voice, their discovery about Joo Dee and the network of tunnels and brainwashing stations at the Dai Li’s hideout beneath Lake Laogai.

“And did you know  _ Zuko  _ here is a Fire Nation prince?” Jet added bitterly.

Sokka’s eyes widened as he shot Katara a frantic look.

“Deal with it later, Jet.” Toph elbowed the Freedom Fighter pointedly. “Bigger things at hand.”

“Depends who you ask,” Jet muttered.

“Well, no one asked you,” Sokka said under his breath.

“What was that?” Jet flared.

“I said it sounds like we need to be a bit more forceful in getting our audience with the Earth King. Aang, you’re the Avatar so it’s your call. What do you think?"

Aang was studying Jet with some concern, but turned to Sokka. “I think you’re right. Come on.” The airbender stood and walked to the massive green doors leading to the throne room. He lifted his glider and summoned a massive rush of air to strike the doors, which snapped off their hinges and landed with a loud bang on the floor. 

Katara smiled at the shocked faces of the citizens in the waiting room and gave a small wave. “Sorry,” she said, “we’re just in a bit of a hurry!”

The citizens stared at her blankly, mouths agape as she followed the others into the throne room. 

Guards lined the green-carpeted walkway leading to the gold throne, upon which the Earth King sat, soothing a large, disgruntled bear by stroking the animal’s enormous head. Remarkably, the guards had not moved an inch despite the disturbance. 

Perhaps it was to do with Joo Dee, standing beside the King with a pleasant and unconcerned smile once again plastered to her face. “Your Highness,” she said. “This is the Avatar who I was just telling you about.”

“Oh, really? Just telling, huh? We’ve been trying to speak with you since we got here a few days ago ---Your Highness,” Sokka corrected, remembering last minute who he was speaking with, and giving a small bow.

The Earth King frowned and murmured something to Joo Dee, pointing to Smellerbee, Longshot, Toph, Zuko, and Katara.

“Ah, yes,” Joo Dee nodded. “And those are the members of the anarchist cell our agents have been tracking.” 

“The  _ what _ ?” Toph shouted indignantly as several of the guards stepped forward, bending stone cuffs onto their wrists. 

“Wait!” Aang stepped forward, panicked. “Please, Your Earthiness, these are my friends.”

“Joo Dee is lying,” Katara said angrily. “The Dai Li have been keeping secrets from you for a long, long time!”

“They are enemies of the state, Your Highness,” Joo Dee declared. “Conspirators spreading lies about you, attempting to get you overthrown.”

The King’s bear had wandered away from the throne and ambled up to Zuko, tilting his head in consideration. The firebender squirmed nervously, tensing in preparation for a mauling, but the bear simply leaned forward to lick his face gently with a happy grunt of approval. 

“That may be, Joo Dee,” the King said. “But Bosco seems to like that one at least. Avatar, you may speak.”

“Your Highness, please listen to me. There’s a war going on right now. For the past one-hundred years, in fact. The Dai Li have hidden this knowledge from you, and that is why Joo Dee is so insistent my friends are your enemies. It’s a conspiracy to control you and control the city,” Aang explained. “But there  _ is  _ a war, and my friends and I are here to help you. We’ve come a very long way to warn you of a plan by the Fire Nation to attack Ba Sing Se.”

“And to tell you how we can strike back,” Sokka added.

The Earth King considered them as one might a child telling a particularly imaginative story. “A secret war? That’s crazy.”

“Completely,” Joo Dee agreed. 

“Joo Dee has kept us from seeing you so that we wouldn’t tell you the truth,” Aang continued. “And she had the Dai Li kidnap our friends, along with others in the city, whenever they tried to speak about the war. They’re brainwashing your citizens!”

“All lies, Your Majesty,” Joo Dee deflected smoothly. 

“Your claim is difficult to believe,” the Earth King told Aang. “We’ve had a peaceful relationship with the Fire Nation for centuries. They would never attack us.”

“They would,” Zuko said loudly. “I should know… I’m the former prince of the Fire Nation. My father is Fire Lord Ozai, and my sister is the Princess Azula who is marching towards your city as we speak with an army at her back.”

“Former prince?” the Earth King asked doubtfully. 

“Your Highness, haven’t we wasted enough time with their lies?” Joo Dee chimed in. “Guards! Lock these traitors away. Make sure they never see the light of day.”

Suki and Sokka exchanged an exasperated look and positioned themselves protectively in front of the others. Toph subtly bent the stone cuffs from their wrists.

“Please, Earth King!” Aang pleaded, glancing nervously around the room at the guards. “I don’t want to have to fight you. The world needs the Earth Kingdom’s help!”

“You all seem perfectly fine to me,” the Earth King replied, wiping at his glasses with his sleeve, seemingly bored of the conversation now. 

The guards formed a circle around their group, pressing closer.

“Joo Dee has a tear on her sleeve from an arrow!” Smellerbee cried. “You can check. It happened when we were trying to escape!” 

The Earth King merely tilted his glasses to the light, examining for more smudges. Katara pulled water from her pouch and bent it into long strands of ice, prepared to fight, yet again --trying to ignore the weary weight of her tired muscles. 

Zuko’s voice broke through the tense silence, “Your Highness,” he called desperately. “Have you… Have you ever met a lightning bender?” 

The King’s hands stilled, betraying his interest despite his dismissive tone, “There’s no such thing.”

“There is,” Zuko assured the Earth King. “Princess Azula is one of them, and she is exceptionally dangerous and without mercy.”

“Your point?”

Zuko took a deep, steadying breath and a cautious step towards the Earth King, who waved away the guards who stepped towards him. 

_ What are you doing, Zuko?  _ Katara wondered, fearing for what would happen to him when Joo Dee shouted her next commands. 

Zuko gestured to the left side of his face, tilting it so the Earth King could examine his distorted ear, his squinting eye, his ridged cheek. “This,” he told the King, “is how my father, Fire Lord Ozai, punished me for disobeying him.” 

Then --to Katara’s great surprise- he lifted his shirt, displaying his other scar, the one that covered most of his chest. The one she knew well...for her hand had been hovering over it at its formation. Her heart ached at the sight, not so much for knowing how painful the injury had been, but for knowing how difficult it must be for Zuko to show this wound to the many eyes in the room --an intimate memory from his past, and a tragic one at that. 

The Earth King’s eyes wandered over the mark, taking in the many branches of it that stretched across Zuko’s skin where the lightning had raced pitilessly along his body. “This,” Zuko told the King, “is how my sister, Princess Azula, nearly killed me --with just the twitch of a finger.”

Twitch was an exaggeration, and Katara knew more than most since she had been the one to help Zuko practice lightning bending. It had taken Azula time to build enough energy to strike Zuko, enough time to have changed her mind if she wanted to… Nevertheless, Zuko’s description clearly had an effect on the Earth King whose eyes widened. 

“Why did she try to kill you?” he asked quietly.

“I got in her way,” Zuko answered. “I was once an enemy of the Avatar --your enemy too- but fate led me here. I know better than anyone the evil that exists within the Fire Nation. I will bear these reminders of it for the rest of my life. Please, do not make the mistake of denying the danger that is coming for Ba Sing Se just because it is an unpleasant and challenging reality to face. You and your people will suffer for it if you do.”

The Earth King sat in quiet contemplation for a moment, watching as Zuko let his shirt fall like a curtain over the horrific story of his scar, but for the first time he seemed to have heard something he could not shrug away as fantasy. At last, he spoke, “Joo Dee.”

“Yes, Your Majesty?” the woman replied, with a sly smile. 

“You are under arrest.”

Joo Dee gaped at him. “Your Majesty, surely you don’t believe these children instead of your most loyal attendant?” 

The Earth King hesitated for a moment, enchanted by the familiarity of the woman’s sweet tone, but he shook his head in resistance. “Dai Li,” he commanded. “Arrest Joo Dee. I want her to stand trial for crimes against the Earth Kingdom.”

The guards did not move right away, seemingly in shock, but eventually they grasped Joo Dee by the arms and began to guide her away from the throne room. The woman’s calm demeanor had been replaced by an enraged one as she snarled, “You can’t arrest me! You all need me more than you know!” 

As soon as she was finally gone the King sunk his face into his hands with a groan. “We’re at  _ war  _ with the Fire Nation,” he said to himself, as though saying it aloud would wake him from a bad dream. 

Sokka cleared his throat tentatively. “That’s why we came to Ba Sing Se, Your Majesty. Because we think you could help us end the war.”

Aang nodded in agreement. “We don’t have much time. Azula  _ is  _ on her way here, so preparations will need to be made.”

“But there is hope. A window of opportunity to strike back. A solar eclipse is coming. The sun will be entirely blocked out by the moon, and the firebenders will be helpless.”

“What are you suggesting?”

Katara watched proudly as Sokka spoke to the Earth King, reminding her of the way their father might speak to his men. “That’s the day we need to invade the Fire Nation. The day of Black Sun.”

“I don’t know… That would require moving troops out of Ba Sing Se. We’d be completely vulnerable.”

“We’ll only do it once we’ve defeated the army Princess Azula is bringing,” Zuko elaborated. “We can help advise you on how to defend against her attack, and when that’s done we will move for the Fire Nation and invade on the day of Black Sun as Sokka suggested.”

“You really think we can defend against your sister?” the King asked.

“We’ll have to. The world depends upon it.”

“Very well then.” The Earth King nodded decisively. “It’s as good a plan as any. I thank you for your help and guidance… I’m afraid I have been made a fool by Joo Dee and her agents… There will be much work to do to repair the damage they have done.”

“We’ll be here to help, Your Highness,” Katara said respectfully. “And if I might suggest a few more ideas…”

***

The Earth King’s palace was as much a labyrinth as any other part of the city it resided in, but the servant leading their group away from the throne room and to the study the King had arranged for them to use seemed unfazed by the many twists and turns they made down seemingly identical hallways. 

Zuko was grateful for the stunned silence that had fallen in the wake of their meeting with the monarch, grateful for the chance to internally review the many events of the day.

But his reflection did not last long, just as they were about to enter the study Jet tapped his shoulder. 

Zuko immediately began preparing for the worst --expected it- but when he examined the boy’s face none of the Freedom Fighter’s earlier hatred remained. 

Jet gave him a hard, searching look and pointed to his chest. “I didn’t know the story behind that. I only knew Katara had healed you… It’s really from your sister?”

It was not any of the words Zuko had expected to hear. He could only nodd, uncertain what would come next. 

“And your face… That’s really from your father? The… Fire Lord?”

“Yeah… It is.” 

There was an impossibly long silence, then Jet slowly extended his hand, “It’s like I said the day I found out you were a firebender --it’s a messed up world we’ve been handed, isn’t it? I’ve dreamed of plenty of ways to get my revenge on the Fire Nation, but nothing like the nightmare you’ve lived… I don’t think I’d wish what you’ve been through on my worst enemy.”

Zuko hesitated, still unsure whether or not to accept the handshake. “But aren’t I your worst enemy? A Fire Nation prince?”

“From where I’m standing it doesn’t look like you’re a prince anymore, and if you are then… You’re certainly the start of a new Fire Nation” Jet said. “I made assumptions before… I’m sorry.”

Zuko shook his head at the apology. “It wasn’t so long ago that every assumption you could’ve made about me probably would’ve been right.”

“Still...” Jet wiggled the fingers of his still out-stetched hand and raised his eyebrows, a question.

Zuko shook Jet’s hand. If only everyone resolved situations with the same straightforwardness as Jet. 

A few hours later, Zuko poured over the schematics of Ba Sing Se’s walls, thinking to himself how interesting his uncle would find such diagrams, and fighting hard to keep his bleary eyes open as exhaustion tugged at his entire body.

It had been a long day, but there was no time to waste. The Earth King wanted opinions on how to defend against Azula, opinions on preparations for the day of Black Sun, and opinions --at Katara’s suggestion- on how to provide aid to the refugees entering the city. 

Everyone was helping. Pages were scattered all over the place alongside plates from a hasty dinner. Books surrounded them, stacked high in towers of varying heights, and discussion was happening quietly as Aang explained an idea for the invasion to Toph and Suki who debated quietly with him about how to improve upon it. 

Zuko stole a glance across the table at Katara, whose cheek was sliding further and further into her own palm as she struggled to stay upright. Her eyes however, were practically unblinking, so intent was she on the reading material before her. She took her duty as relief organizer very seriously and he could already hear her tomorrow outlining her plan to the Earth King himself. The thought made him smile. 

The door of the study opened with a slight creak and a man stepped in, wearing armor and a fine green cape, and carrying a large metal box. “Apologies for the interruption,” he told them with a small bow. “My name is General How. I lead the council of five of the Earth Kingdom’s highest-ranking generals.”

“Good evening, General How,” Sokka said formally, in a voice deeper than usual --earning an eye roll from Toph. “How may we help you?”

“I’m actually here to deliver news to you,” the general clarified. “The Earth King had Joo Dee’s office searched. We found some items that he felt would interest all of you.”

“What is it?” Toph asked. 

General How set down the box and opened it, revealing several scrolls. “There were secret files on everyone in Ba Sing Se. Including you kids.” He passed one to Toph who immediately passed it to Katara to read.

“It’s a letter from your mom,” Katara told her, scanning the page. “She heard a rumor about a blind earthbender traveling with the Avatar and wants to see you. It says she’s staying right here in the city and she wants you to come visit.”

“How’d she know I was here?” Toph wondered.

“Well, uh, it looks like it was sent to several different cities within the Earth Kingdom… She probably hoped it would find you eventually, she must really miss you.”

Toph had a guilty look on her face. “Yeah, I guess so…”

“Avatar Aang, this one was for you,” General How said, handing another scroll to the airbender.

He opened it eagerly, his eyes lighting at the words on the page. “It’s from the Eastern Air Temple! There’s a man living there, a spiritual expert --a guru. He says he recently met Hama and Yurai during his travels and they told him about me and that I was heading to Ba Sing Se. He sent this letter as soon as he arrived at the temple, because he’s hoping I’ll join him for some training. He says he can teach me to control the Avatar State!”

“Wow, Aang that’s amazing!” Katara said, then shyly turned to the general. “Is there a letter for Sokka and I?” she asked.

“No,” General How replied, “but there is an intelligence report that might interest you.” He handed her a scroll.

“A small fleet of water tribe ships…” Katara read, scanning the report. “Protecting the mouth of Chameleon Bay…”

“Led by Hakoda --it’s Dad!” Sokka said excitedly, looking over her shoulder. “I can’t believe we know where he is! This is all such big news…”

“There’s one more thing,” General How said. “We also received an intelligence report on the Fire Nation. It appears that, though the Dai Li kept information from the Earth King, they were still keeping tabs on the war. The Fire Nation army remains at Omashu as of a few days ago. That works in our favor, buys us more time to prepare.”

Zuko nodded, but his heart sank too as he scanned the faces of his friends, knowing what this development also meant. “You have to go,” he told them.

“Go?” Katara stared at him.

“Toph, you should go see your mom --I can tell you want to. And Jet, you all should go back to the Freedom Fighters, rally them for their help in the invasion --probably good to let them know you’re alive too.” Zuko turned to Aang. “You  _ have _ to meet this guru, Aang. If we’re going to invade the Fire Nation, you need to be ready…” He looked to Katara and Sokka, “And if he’s going to the Eastern Air Temple he can drop you off at Chameleon Bay to see your dad. You can tell him about the plan for the day of Black Sun.”

“What will you do, Zuko?” Katara asked quietly. 

He shrugged. “Someone has to stay here with the Earth King and help him plan for Azula’s attack and the invasion.” He also had an unsettling suspicion that something about the report of the army in Omashu had to be wrong --his sister was not one to twiddle her thumbs- but Zuko knew that if he voiced this particular concern aloud the others would never leave, so he kept that part to himself. 

Katara studied him for a moment, deliberating, then she turned to her brother. “I’m going to stay here too.”

“You are?” Aang asked, surprised.

“We have some extra time, but there’s still a lot of work to do… For the war and the people in the city.” 

Sokka watched his sister’s face carefully. “Are you sure, Katara?” 

“I am, but you should bring Suki with you. Dad will want to meet her,” she said with a smile. 

Sokka blushed in response and turned to the Kyoshi warrior. “Will you come with me?” 

“Of course,” she replied, kissing him lightly on the cheek. 

“I guess we’ll leave in the morning then,” Aang said a bit sadly, glancing at Katara.

“I’ll let the Earth King know,” General How said, already moving towards the door.

“We should get some rest,” Jet commented, rubbing his eyes and fighting a yawn. “We’ll all need it.” 

Zuko noticed Katara glance longingly at research she had yet to examine. “I just need five more minutes…”

Sokka groaned loudly. “Please, don’t make me say, ‘Jet is right.’”

“You guys go on ahead! I’m not traveling tomorrow, but you are. Go back and pack up.” She waved them towards the door, already pulling another stack of papers towards her.

Zuko reached for a book. “I’ll stay and walk back with you.”

In the chaos of the day some of the iciness in Katara’s mannerisms had melted, but she tensed slightly when the others --all exhausted- shrugged and began to gather their belongings and prepare to leave. “Thanks,” she told Zuko stiffly. 

“Maybe I should stay too,” Aang began to say.

“No, Twinkle Toes, you especially will need your rest for your training with this guru.” Toph tugged at the monk’s robes. “C’mon. Sweetness and Sparky will be fine.” 

Still, the airbender was the last to leave the room. “Good night, Katara,” he called as he closed the door.

Zuko decided not to draw attention to the fact that the boy had neglected to say good night to  _ him _ . He knew what it was like to be captured in Katara’s orbit…

As he was now… Noticing a beauty mark on her inner wrist like one might gaze at entire constellations of stars. In awe of the way her hair caught the light of the candle as she tossed it over her shoulder and away from her face, a comet’s tail in the dim. The book he was meant to be reading lay open before him, entirely forgotten as he observed the small scowl of concentration carved on her face. 

At last he looked away --resisting the pull of what was likely spirit energy- and returned to his text, the words barely making their way into his mind as exhaustion began to take over.

He woke to Katara gently shaking his shoulder. He swore he saw a faint smile on her face, but when he blinked it was gone. 

“Sorry,” he murmured. “I must have been more tired than I realized.”

Katara stared at him for a moment. “Well… You did have a late night last night...”

Zuko was about to point out that he had gone to bed the same time as she had, but realized that since he had stayed out talking to Jin that was technically not true… He pushed his chair away from the table and stood, hoping the movement would hide the blush that crept onto his cheeks at the memory of Jin’s kiss. Not that Katara knew about that, for which he was glad. He didn’t want her getting the wrong idea… The spirits made things difficult enough on their own. 

And they really did have a sick sense of humor. 

Just as the guards were opening the doors of the palace to let them exit, Jin walked in, so distracted she bumped straight into Zuko. 

“Sorry,” she muttered, and stepped around him hurriedly. 

“Jin? Is everything okay?” he asked, surprised.

She looked up from her feet. “Oh, it’s you,” she said. “Uh, yeah. Everything’s fine.” She gestured loosely to the air. “All good.”

Katara frowned. “Are you sure?” she asked the girl.

“Yeah, just a really busy day around here.” Jin gave a weary smile. “You know how it is…”

_ No,  _ thought Zuko.  _ I don’t.  _ In the past he’d been the one giving people in Jin’s position tasks to do. At least, Jinn had a kinder royal to work for than his father. The servants at the Fire Lord’s palace had reason to be fearful, but he wasn’t sure why Jin seemed so jittery tonight, her shift must have been particularly hectic to make her so frazzled. 

“Well, I gotta get going… Have a nice night you two.” Jin waved a brief farewell and continued swiftly down the hallway, a girl on a mission.

“You can go after her if you want,” Katara said.

The suggestion struck Zuko as odd, but then again a lot of Katara’s behavior had been odd today. “I’m walking back with you,” he told her.

She made no further comments. 

Outside the fresh air swept the last of the study’s stuffiness from their minds. At the top of the steps they both tilted their head back to look at the star-filled sky, scanning it for answers to inverse questions, but the cosmos did not reply to whatever thoughts they cast into its infinity. 

Katara was the first to tear her eyes away and began marching down the steps, headed in the direction of the guesthouse. 

Zuko fell in step with her and they walked in silence until they reached the courtyard, where they stopped, lingering in lantern light and unspoken truths. 

Katara turned to him, one arm stretched awkwardly across her stomach to grasp the elbow of the other, her eyes glimmering like pools of spirit water in the glow of the lanterns. Her mouth opened, but whatever words she had wanted to say refused to come out, she shut it again and shook her head, returning her gaze to the lake. 

When she did manage to speak a moment later, it was only to say, “Good night, Zuko,” in a scratchy unfamiliar voice as she stepped towards the guesthouse. 

For the second time that day Zuko reached automatically for her hand, to prevent her from slipping away --from hiding.  _ Please, don’t go…  _ he wanted to say.  _ I miss you.  _ But he wasn’t sure how to describe to her the feeling of missing someone who was right in front of you. 

She stared at their joined hands for a moment, her fingers sliding lightly over the skin of his inner wrist, sending shivers down his spine. 

“Did I do something wrong?” Zuko whispered, barely audible over the splashing of the waterfall. “Please, whatever it is just tell me...”

They stayed like that for a moment, linked, as her eyes searched his… Until she let her hand fall from his with a heavy sigh, and Zuko couldn’t help but think that for two people tied by supernatural forces, it sure seemed like they were being torn further and further apart. 

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” she said quietly.

“Then why are you angry with me?” Zuko demanded, surprised by the hard note that entered his voice.  _ What aren’t you saying? Don’t you know how much this hurts? Don’t you know you’re not the only one dealing with how confusing this all is?!  _ he wanted to shout. 

“I’m not angry with you, Zuko.”

“You’ve been acting weird around me all day.”  _ Since the Spirit Library... _

“I’m not--”

“Fine, don’t tell me. Forget I asked.” Zuko began striding towards the house. Better to get away before the frustration he had been controlling so carefully got the best of him.

“Zuko. Wait...” 

This time it was her hand that reached for his, he stilled at its touch, but did not turn to look back at her. 

“I’m not angry with  _ you… _ ” Katara murmured softly. 

“What is it then?” Instinctively he gave her hand a small squeeze,  _ you can trust me, remember? Before Wan Shi Tong told us about the spirits? Things were different… _

***

_ How will we ever know what’s us and what isn’t?  _ It was the same question, always. It was why she was angry, because even if she wanted to grab his shoulder, spin him around, and kiss him --and oh, Tui and La, she really did want to- and even if he kissed her back, it would only make everything more complicated than it already was. 

Katara had been carrying the bitter memory of Jin and Zuko’s kiss around like a stone in her heart all day, but she realized now that it was not just jealousy, but a deep sadness that had twisted her behavior towards him.

_ I’m not angry with  _ you, she had said, and it was the truth. She was angry at their situation, angry at the cruel twist of fate the spirits had handed them, and angry at the conclusion she had begun to reach… That if she couldn’t be certain what were her feelings and what were the spirits, it was best to stop questioning it altogether.  _ Just let it be the spirits...and let it go... _

Because Zuko had kissed Jin back, and if he had found a connection --a real, authentic, non-spirit connection- with someone else? Then he deserved a sweet, carefree happiness like that. 

Katara wouldn’t hold him back, though her heart said otherwise when he turned to look at her now. It ached --from the sorrow of the spirits or her own she couldn’t be sure. The uncertainty drained her. 

She could not afford it. Not now. Not when there was a war to fight, people to help. It was selfish, a feeling that had been nagging at the back of her mind all day. And she thought back to that morning --though it felt like thinking of a week ago- and remembered how  _ she  _ had wanted to give up, to curl up and go back to sleep, because of this pain that came from her desire… She  _ had  _ to let it go, to learn to shut out these feelings as she had shut out the song of the spirit essence in Zuko’s blood back at Lake Laogai. 

“Katara?” 

“I promise it’s not you.” 

“Is there anything I can do?” His eyes were full of such sincerity, such warmth.

She returned the small squeeze he had given her hand earlier. “I’ll be fine... “ she told him. “I’m just tired.”

It took everything she had to release his hand and slowly walk away…to tell herself it would get easier --with time. 

***

Azula could think of nothing more humiliating than disguising herself as a  _ peasant _ , but she also knew it was a somewhat ingenious solution to the obstacle that was the Outer Wall of Ba Sing Se. 

Leave it to the Earth Kingdom to do something as foolish as letting outsiders within their famously impenetrable city, and for what? To let some raggedy children and weeping mothers in? 

It was clear to Azula that the people they hid amongst were sad. She wished her father were there to witness their tears.  _ That’s what they get for resisting the might of the Fire Nation,  _ she thought, hearing the Fire Lord’s voice in her head. 

He would be proud of her cunning idea. Right? To do the unexpected? 

That was where her brother had always failed. His predictability, amongst other flaws, had often been his downfall, though she had to admit it had been somewhat of a surprise when Mai and Ty Lee had informed her Zuzu was traveling with the Avatar --almost as much of a surprise as it had been to hear he was alive. Her aim had been true, her lightning had hit its mark, so perhaps he was stronger than she realized after all…

Night had fallen in the lower rings of the city and there was a sort of buzz that Azula was unfamiliar with. Children were talking loudly of an enormous creature that had passed through the area several days ago, fluffy, with an arrow down its back. Their eyes lit with delight at the memory, and their parents… Their  _ peasant  _ parents, with empty coin purses and dirty, hole-riddled clothing, were, of all things,  _ smiling.  _

It struck Azula as odd, since she now had a firsthand glimpse of their experience --the clothes she wore were itchy, and the stench of the common people overwhelming.  _ They should be miserable,  _ she thought, studying them, sneering beneath her hood at their impossible joy.  _ What reason could they have to smile? _

She passed by a pair of mothers, watching their children chatter with the other kids about this mysterious creature with the arrow. She caught the words of one of them, “I couldn’t believe it when I saw it. A sky-bison! When we were on the road to the city I heard rumors that the Avatar was back, but, seeing his animal companion in person? I don’t know… After everything we’ve been through, after everything the Fire Nation has taken from us… For the first time in a long time, I felt hope.”

_ Hope.  _ That was it. This strange buzz. The notion made Azula want to throw her head back and laugh. These people really thought the Avatar would fix all their problems? That the  _ Avatar,  _ gone for a hundred years, would suddenly be just the person to stop Fire Lord Ozai?

A man came up behind the two mothers and put his arms around them. He seemed a slightly inebriated friend, his cheeks flushed, a laziness to his motions. He loudly declared, “This is it! THE END OF THE WAR! The end of the war, mark my words. The Avatar is here to speak to the King and he’ll get him to help the refugees, and he’ll get him to fight the Fire Nation, and it’s going to happen, at last. The end of the war!” The man hiccuped loudly.

That was when Azula saw them, emerging from the shadows. The men with the large hats, faceless men, silent men. They glided like smoke by her, headed towards the man cheering loudly about the end of the war. In the blink of an eye they had carried him off without so much as a word. 

And the mother’s smiles had disappeared. They called for their children and walked away, a gloom descended upon them.

“Ty Lee, Mai,” Azula called. She pointed to where the uniformed men were disappearing from view, “Those are the people we are looking for.”

The ones who had approached her in Omashu with word that their leader was looking to make a deal: the city of Ba Sing Se for a treasured spot amongst the Fire Nation army and the assurance of their protection. The message had been fairly straightforward, provided she could find a way into the city, the Dai Li would help her to the Earth King’s throne. 

There was a particular way she was meant to signal her arrival to them, the eyes and the ears of this city, and it was almost as bad as having to dress in the peasant clothing.

When they arrived at the palace gates she found the right person to speak with easily enough --the guard wearing the distinctive, wide-brimmed hat- but the words she was meant to speak were another matter. They stuck in her throat, unwilling to emerge at first, until she forced them out, spitting the humiliation out like the remains of a bitter concoction, “Good evening, we are here from Omashu, come to work for His Highness as...tea...servers…”

The guard stared at them for a moment, before saying, “You came at just the right time,” and turning to leave.

“Are you sure this is going to work?” Mai asked, examining her nails, her typical disinterest unchanged even in a place where no Fire Nation citizen had found themselves for nearly a century. 

Azula on the other hand, was reveling in it, eyeing the palace with the same devouring fervor as she had seen her father study a world map all her life.  _ This will be mine.  _

“What do you think he meant by timing?” Ty Lee chimed in. 

“It doesn’t matter,” Azula waved her hand dismissively at her friends, “we’re here now. The plan is in motion.”

The guard returned, a palace servant at his side, holding a neat stack of green clothing. 

“These are your uniforms,” the servant explained, handing one to each of them. 

“This will give us the access to the King we need?” Azula picked at the fabric disdainfully. It was no finer than the rags she wore now. She longed for the luxurious touch of fine, Fire Nation silk. 

“It will…” The servant hesitated.

“What is it?” Azula demanded sharply.

The guard spoke instead, “There’s been a development while you were on your way here. The Avatar arrived a few days now, you will need to wait until tomorrow to make your move. He plans to depart the city in the morning.”

Azula’s mouth curled unhappily.  _ I could take the Avatar,  _ she thought to herself, but better not to attract too much attention. When he returned to the city she would already be on the throne, the Dai Li at her side, and then would be her chance to do what her brother never could and capture him. 

“There are only two members of the Avatar’s group that will remain --the waterbender and the firebender- but that won’t be a problem for you will it?”

Azula smirked. “The firebender?”

The palace servant looked up. “He’s your brother, isn’t he, Princess?”

“Yes…” Azula peered at the uniform in her hands thoughtfully, an idea forming --a brilliant, delicious idea. “This may just be better than we originally planned,” she said with a malevolent grin. “Tomorrow after the Avatar departs the city, please invite my brother to tea…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Please don't hate me 😅, I know we're super angst heavy right now, but hang in there)
> 
> The comments on the past few chapters have been INCREDIBLE author fuel, so thank you so much for those and I look forward to hopefully seeing more of your thoughts (friendly reminder thoughts does not equal criticism) below! It absolutely makes my day every time and I never have the words to express my appreciation properly.
> 
> Work has been crazy for me lately so chapter 19 will likely be on the regular biweekly schedule (so 3/14). I am really excited to get started on this one...
> 
> As always you can also say hi to me over at [ zukos-calming-tea](https://zukos-calming-tea.tumblr.com/) on tumblr.
> 
> And yeah, that's about it from me! I think I would like to take a nap now lol
> 
> Ah, but not before I sign off by sending you (yes, you) best wishes ✨  
> B


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